Forbidden Game IV
by roswellwbfan
Summary: On Hiatus. This is NOT FINISHED. You can tell by seeing it listed as In-Progress or the "On Hiatus" both here and in my profile. I have agreed not to post any more until it is finished to avoid further annoying people, alright? Flames off, ok?Jenny/Julian
1. Chapter One

Author's note: I am in no way connected to L.J. Smith. This is not meant to infringe on any copyrighted material. The characters herein belong solely to her and whatever publishing entity claims them.  
  
Spoilers: This is a Forbidden Game fic and takes place after FG3. If you have not read any of the trilogy this will not make any sense.

[[[[[]]]]]   
  
Jenny leaned her head against the glass of the cab's window, letting the coolness wash through her. She focused on the feeling, allowing herself to follow its path and take comfort in the peace that it brought. Her eyes drifted over to her fellow passengers and she smiled as she took in the sight before her.  
  
Michael had his arm around Audrey, whose head rested on his shoulder. Audrey's hand rested on his stomach and Michael's other hand covered it, their fingers entwined. His cheek lay on top of her head and they were both asleep. Next to them were Zach and Summer, also sleeping. Summer's head was nestled on Zach's shoulder and Jenny grinned at the thought of how Zach would react if he were awake to notice.  
  
Sitting next to Jenny was Tom, and next to him was Dee. Jenny could tell that Dee was sound asleep, and that by the looks of things her head was going to end up on Tom's shoulder  
before too long. The only thing Jenny couldn't tell was if Tom was actually asleep or just pretending to. She acknowledged to herself that it didn't matter, she was just grateful for the  
silence it afforded. Although she hadn't broken down for a while she was glad that she had a temporary reprieve from the scene that awaited her.  
  
None of her friends had commented on how Jenny had acted in the moments leading up to Julian's death but Jenny knew it was only a matter of time. The tears welled up as she thought  
of Julian but she refused to give in to them…yet. Once she was alone she could give free rein to her emotions and let everything out, but for now she needed to stay strong for what lie ahead.  
Her eyelids drooped and she allowed herself to drift off, her last thoughts being of Julian.

[[[[[]]]]]   
  
Next to Jenny Tom sat still as stone, an anger unlike any he'd known burning inside him. His mind just kept replaying everything, all the events the group had been through, but it most often returned to Jenny-specifically how Jenny had responded to Julian. And responded she had, try as she might to deny it. It would be foolish to try to tell himself that Julian meant nothing to Jenny, because all anyone had to do was put Jenny and Julian together and it happened. Tom didn't know how to describe it. Jenny just changed.  
  
And what made Tom angry was that she had changed for the better. She was assertive, tough, confident, and well, what was the word? Self-reliant. It's not that Tom minded the changes, just the opposite was true in fact. Well, if he was being honest with himself he minded a little. One of the things he loved about Jenny was the fact that she needed him, or at least she had before. He felt guilty thinking about her like that, because it made it sound like Jenny was too dependent on Tom in a way. But he had to admit that he liked being needed, the way it made him feel about himself. In the past weeks Jenny had transformed into an amazing person, and it was all because of Julian.  
  
That's the part that upset Tom the most. He found it was hard to accept that Julian was the one to bring about those changes. But what was even harder to accept, let alone believe, was  
that he and Jenny weren't going to be together anymore. He let his mind go blank and willed himself to sleep. He needed to conserve his strength for what lay ahead.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]


	2. Chapter Two

Author's Note: Standard disclaimer applies. I own no part of the LJS universe. I offer this up as homage, as a way to kill the boredom until Strange Fate comes out. Please don't sue me...I am not worth the trouble, I assure you. As always, feedback is welcomed...if not craved. Thanks for reading!

Jenny opened her eyes to find herself floating among the stars."I must be dreaming," she said aloud.  
  
"You are," a voice answered from behind her.  
  
That's when she knew she was dreaming, because the voice belonged to Julian. She began to sob, with soft cries escaping her lips. Jenny expected Julian to come to her, to take away the pain in an instant, but he didn't.  
  
"Why are you crying?" he asked instead.  
  
"Because I know this is a dream. And the reason I know that is your voice. It's just like I remember it sounding before I saw you in the Shadow World. And that means I'm wrong because I can never really remember how your voice sounds until I hear it for real. So I'm dreaming and it means you aren't real."  
  
With that she broke down again.  
  
"Oh Jenny, "Julian's arms circled her from behind. "Who said I'm not real?"  
  
At that Jenny stopped crying and turned to look up at him, still cradled in his arms. Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes met his. He was wearing the same outfit as he had been when  
Jenny had last seen him. He looked great in the black duster jacket. Of course, he would look great in anything.  
  
"What do you mean? I saw you die!"  
  
"I told you I'd go into another dream and here I am. I was hoping you'd be here. You said you'd dream me into a place of light and I want you there with me- always."  
  
Her cheeks felt hot and she couldn't help but smile. Suddenly she felt better, as if a weight had begun to lift from within her.  
  
"Well I'll give you until I wake up, anyway."  
  
She laughed and closed her eyes, imagining where she would take Julian. She felt a bright light strike her lids. Jenny opened her eyes to see a hole in the stars, just as she had  
imagined there would be. Julian took her hand and they walked through and as they did they found themselves on a pristine white beach, with water gently lapping at the shore. Just then she caught the faint sound of music. It was that same otherworldly music they had danced to before. Julian closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. Jenny sighed in contentment. She felt the water caressing her ankles, and she cast her eyes down to watch it play. It was then she noticed the change. Jenny was surprised to find she was wearing the gold dress. The one she had been wearing when they danced at Prom. She looked over and saw Julian was sporting the same tuxedo along with a wolfish (_and quite sexy_, she thought to herself) grin.  
  
"Your idea, I take it?"  
  
"Well it's my dream too. And I am quite partial to that particular outfit, as you well know. I wish you could have seen how you affected everyone in that ballroom. All eyes were upon you, as well they should have been."  
  
His choice of words caused a thought to strike her.  
  
"I don't know why this just occurred to me and we sort of talked about this before but did you watch me **all** the time, twenty-four seven?"  
  
When he gave her what could only be described as a lecherous grin she paled and he laughed.  
  
"I am above all a gentleman."  
  
At her dubious look he laughed again then added,  
  
"If you need proof just consider the fact that I made sure we were alone each and every time I kissed you breathless."  
  
He looked at her lips as he talked, and when his eyes met hers that look, that hungry look of his as back. Jenny felt a shiver run down her spine, and she tried to keep her gaze steady. But it was too much and she ducked her head, hiding her face in his shirt. She was mortified that she had even brought up the topic. Julian laughed and Jenny could feel the reverberations within his chest. He began to lead her again in time to the music, which had continued to play. Jenny closed her eyes and swayed along with Julian, listening to the music and the quiet roar of the tide. She tried to think of something to say to chase away the amusement Julian was experience and bring back that look that made her weak at the knees, not mention everywhere else! Suddenly it came to her, and she gathered her courage to say it. But her voice wouldn't fully cooperate, so she leaned up to whisper in his ear.

"Alone? You mean like we are now?"

Part of her couldn't believe she had actually said that, while part of her reasoned that this was a dream and therefore a different set of rules applied here. The rest of her simply recognized that Julian made her feel wild, beautiful and desired. That part of Jenny embraced the feelings and the unparalleled joy they brought. Knowing she was capable of causing these intense feelings in someone was heady stuff indeed.  
  
Jenny missed Julian's eyes widen at her question, but she couldn't mistake the passion that darkened them when he leaned in to her, his mouth only a few inches away.

"Ah, on to my idea of how this dream should play out."  
  
It felt real. Jenny felt that same electric current ignite her blood at the touch of his lips on hers. She sighed and gave herself up to the feelings coursing through her, tightening her arms  
around him.  
  
She was jerked awake by the cab's abrupt stop. Her fingers flew to her mouth as if in disbelief. She wanted the dream to last a little longer, _like forever?_ Her conscience mocked her. Everyone else was awake and groggy too. It took a while to realize that while they were indeed at Jenny's house, there was no cab. They were simply on the lawn.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What in the world?"  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Jenny let her friends overlapping comments voice her own confusion. Behind them the front door to Jenny's house opened and her dad popped his head out.  
  
"Well I didn't believe it but I guess it's true."  
  
Jenny felt very confused and more than a little bit frightened at what he possibly was referring to. With an effort she found her voice.  
  
"What do you mean, Dad?"  
  
"Well your grandpa said you were all out here watching the sunrise together and I had to see it for myself. Come on inside everyone, and I'll fix you some breakfast."  
  
And with that he turned to go inside, shutting the door behind him.  
  
"Did he just say 'grandpa'?" It was Zach who uttered the question, albeit in a voice barley audible.  
  
"But how?" This came from Michael.  
  
The answer came from Tom.  
  
"Julian."


	3. Chapter Three

Author's Note: Shall I begin by saying I am so sorry for waiting to update? (Watches with guilty look as people turn, wipe their glasses off, squint and say "who's talking?" Oh! It's you!) Never mind all that. No excuses. I am sorry. On to the quasi-legal portion of this ramble: Standard disclaimer applies. I own no part of the LJS universe. I offer this up merely as homage, a way to kill the boredom until Strange Fate comes out. Please don't sue me! I am not worth the trouble, I assure you. As always, feedback is welcomed and so very much craved. Thanks for reading! I will throw in an acknowledgement part in the next section (so there's still time to weigh in!)

A long moment of silence followed Tom's reply. It was as if the mere utterance of Julian's name had shocked their collective vocal cords into paralysis. An outsider observing the scene would have noticed a near-identical look of guilt on each of the friends' faces, save Tom's, whose features bore a look of disdain flavored with resentment. A query as to why the guilt-stricken looks were present would have yielded completely identical answers—they were all thinking about Julian when Tom's voice startled them.

"But how?" Michael's voice again spoke for the group, as it had before.

As the voices overlapped once more Jenny added her voice to the mix, but she could only say one word—"grandpa"—and it was a barely audible question. She wanted to voice the other thoughts tumbling about in her head but Zach's voice stopped her.

"Let's stop asking each other how and why and go in and ask the one person who can actually answer our questions, okay?"

Jenny got up with the others and slowly walked towards the house. She paused at the door and looked to Zach for support.

"Oh Zach. I don't know if I can go in there." He embraced her in one of his rare hugs and whispered into her hair.

"I know."

"It's not like preparing myself to see Julian." 

The rest of the group said nothing but similar quizzical looks were flying between them at Jenny's choice of words. 

"This is our grandfather. We are talking years here. We are talking assumed dead here. I just…I'm scared."

Dee and Audrey exchanged a glance, and then they nodded simultaneously.

"Right," Dee said, "You tackle breakfast and dad, and I'll handle setting the table and mom."

So when Zach and Jenny finally made it into the kitchen the problem of dealing with Jenny's parents and their astonishment at their daughter and nephew's tears upon seeing their grandfather was resolved. And cry they did. Not just Zach and Jenny, though. All of them, huddled together, no words…it was one of those moments that made life worth living and a time that would be forever etched into their memories.

It was during the tail-end of the sob fest that the questions started flying. And they were piled on, one after the other, coming from all directions. No one bothered to wait for an actual answer to any, though, and poor grandpa just kept looking from one face to another until he couldn't take it anymore. He threw up his hands in a gesture of surrender and erupted in laughter. They all stared at him for a moment…then joined in.

There's nothing that leaves you feeling as drained as a good cry. And then there's nothing that leaves you as happy as a great laugh. So combining the two left the group exhausted but feeling better than they had in a long while.

"Let's just get through breakfast and then we'll find a way to have a nice long chat. Agreed?"

It turned out that the part of grandpa's story they were most interested in—what happened after Jenny released him—was pretty short. He felt himself slip into darkness, and after all the years of torment it was so peaceful and full of bliss he assumed it was death. So when he became aware of himself and then his surroundings once more he was amazed to find that he was in the basement of his own house. His first conscious thought was that he must be in hell, trapped in the place where he made his life's biggest mistake. But being a curious man by nature he started to test his surroundings. He started with the door, using the logic that if he was indeed trapped inside the room for all eternity he would have plenty of time to explore the room's contents.

He was pleasantly surprised to find the door able to be opened. That was his first clue that he maybe wasn't in hell. His next clue came when he closed the door behind him. It was then that he noticed the additional markings on the door from Jenny, Zach, and the others. Using more logic he decided then to try to find out if he could contact his family—Jenny and Zach specifically. So he left the house and made his way to the local payphones.

"That's one of the nice things about living in a town where things never change. I knew where the phones were before, and so I went there and sure enough, they were still there. So I called here and through some vague questions and blind luck I determined that everyone assumed that I had hurt Jenny the day I left and that I had not been heard from since. And so I had to come up with something to say about everything."

"What did you say?" Audrey asked.

"I said that first of all I was sorry. Then I said I had not hurt Jenny but that she had seen someone hurting me and so I felt I had to go away to keep my family safe. And that again I was sorry that I stayed away but I had to. I was about to come up with a reasonable explanation concerning why no one had heard from me when your father interrupted and provided me with a perfect one himself. He asked if I had been put into the Witness Protection Program, or something like that. And I doubt any idea I would have come up with would have fit as well. So I told him he was very intuitive and apologized again. So that's the story. I asked if I could come and visit and here I am. We had a nice reunion…well after all the crying, of course…and I avoided asking about you guys. When I didn't see any of you here I figured you were on your way. To be honest I didn't know but I hoped you were on your way and so I guessed that my arrival would defer any notice of the lateness of your arrival. I got here very late last night and couldn't sleep until I knew you were okay. So I watched for you out the window and when I heard your dad get up I snuck downstairs and made like I was just getting in from the aforementioned sunrise."

They were quite content to sit there all day but Jenny's parents soon returned and reminded everyone that it was a school day tomorrow. There was a round of good-byes and hugs all around. When it came time for Tom and Jenny to say their good-bye Jenny was dismayed to find it awkward. They settled on a hug, and Jenny couldn't help but notice that as she and Tom parted his eyes traveled to her hand, where she was wearing his ring—Julian's, that is.

"Tom…" she began.

"We'll talk later, okay?" Tom asked, already moving towards the door.

"Sure. See you tomorrow."

As the door shut behind everyone Jenny knew she had only earned yet another stay of execution. It was only a matter of time before she had to face her friends' questions.

"Now then, Jenny, I need to ask you something. And I'm guessing you're smart enough to know what it is. So take your time and start from the beginning."

_What was that about a stay of execution?_


	4. Chapter Four

Michael left Jenny's house feeling stunned. He couldn't believe it was all over—for real, this time. He wondered if he would grow bored with being safe; after all, it seemed as though all he knew lately was a life of danger. He thought about all the events the group had survived together. Then, thinking about the trauma he himself had endured he came to the conclusion it was a miracle he had survived. But then a thought crept up on him, and he turned it over and over, pretty much unable to believe he was the one having it.

Maybe he was being too hard on himself.

Was it possible? Perhaps he was underestimating himself. Really though, it wasn't like all the Games had been won on blind luck alone, right? And come to think of it, it's not like he didn't play any part in their success, either. So maybe, just maybe, that thought was right. He had proven himself braver than he thought ever possible. He had changed. And he wasn't the only one. They all had, in fact, although he had to acknowledge that Jenny had changed more than anyone. He grimaced, thinking of the scene that awaited her—the one that involved all of her closest friends assaulting her with a barrage of questions. And while he had some of his own to ask he was fairly certain his part to play was that of spectator. He turned to look at Audrey, and looped his arm around her shoulders, smiling as he did so. He knew she would be vocal enough for the both of them. Maybe if he talked to her beforehand some of his questions could get asked, too. He was glad that his relationship with Audrey had grown so much closer—that was a definite change for the better as a result of the Games.

[[[[[]]]]]

When Audrey left the house by Michael's side she was full of questions. Since most of them revolved around Jenny she decided she'd have to wait until a more appropriate time to focus on those. That being the case she was left to dwell on the rest of the questions which, unfortunately, had to do mostly with Audrey herself. As Michael's arm landed on her shoulders she decided that the time to ponder those questions was when she was alone. And so she smiled at Michael and enjoyed the walk. She mused silently to herself that their newfound closeness was a definite benefit of the Games.

[[[[[]]]]]

Jenny walked back to the couch where her grandfather was sitting, although she made the journey a slow one. But she found that once she started telling the story it was as if the floodgates had opened. It felt good to talk about everything with someone objective. However, as she got to the part where they met up with the Shadow Men for the last time she became more and more emotional. Luckily her grandfather was able to guess the story's ending and he just held her, assuring her she didn't need to go on.

"I knew the Shadow Men would never willingly let me go, unless someone took my place. I'm just glad it wasn't you, Zach, or any of your friends. But I am sorry it had to be Julian."

At that Jenny lifted her face to her grandfather's, eyes as wide with surprise as they had ever been. He laughed at her look.

"Why the surprise? I was thankful for Julian's presence."

Jenny almost passed out then and there.

"You knew Julian?"

"Not like you did, of course," He chose to ignore the blush that stained Jenny's cheeks. "But I remember that day in the basement. I remember how Julian didn't want to harm you like the others. When I was trapped sometimes he would come talk to me, when the rest of them had become bored for a while. I couldn't answer him or anything like that, but he would talk to me anyway. About you. It's not like he had anyone else he could talk to. The Shadow Men thought he was crazy, the way he felt about you." They both sat silently for a moment.

"It was a brave and noble thing he did, sacrificing himself. No matter what else, that one act wipes the slate clean as far as I am concerned. It has to. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him."

He pulled Jenny close to him again, using an arm to anchor her firmly to his side.

"Now as to how your friends feel, I cannot say. But I will offer you this unsolicited advice, and tell you what I do know. If you choose to trust someone you should make it an unconditional trust. Also, death is not the end we think it to be. And finally—memory is a powerful god."

Jenny leaned her head down to rest on her grandfather's shoulder, sighing as she did so. There was a lot to think over, and what her grandfather had to say didn't really help.

"Well my dear, I find that being mostly dead has left me tired. So, knowing you're all back, I am going to rest now before lunch. I'll be here if you need me, though."

Jenny was surprised to see that they had talked the rest of the morning away. She went into the kitchen to fix some lunch so she could spend the rest of the day getting ready for school tomorrow. As she carried a plate and glass to her room she couldn't believe she was actually going back to school tomorrow. School. It was always boring before but now…she couldn't imagine how it could hold any interest for her. After Julian everything seemed so plain, so boring. She hoped it would pass. Plopping herself down at her desk she settled in to her work, forcing herself to concentrate on geometry.

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Author's Note: And they said it would never happen! Here are my acknowledgements…

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. I own no part of the LJS universe. Please don't sue me…I am not worth the trouble, I assure you. As always, feedback is so very much craved. Thanks for reading! Thank you's are below.

**Kristen Michelle:** Thank you so much! Your kinds words are keeping me going!..

**J:** Thank you…I hope the rest lives up to your hopes!..

**Sapphire ****Taylor**: Thank you! I hope you like the other parts as well! And no, Tom is not planning revenge…although the idea has merit…hmmm…ok, Tom isn't planning revenge for now! Hehehe…

**evilspoofauthor2Cassi:** Thank you for writing! With some time and encouragement yes, I will finish this!…

**Magelet****:** Thank you and I'm sorry about the cliffhanger..I will check out some of your work to see how a pro does them right ;-)…

**Avalon:** Thank you for reviewing!..

**Rachael:** You are great! Thank you!..

**insane****:** I hope to keep your attention...Thanks!:)..

**lotty****:** Stop making me drool! I **adore** max! I am a total m/l shipper! Thank you for conjuring up those pleasant thoughts!…

**Baloo****:** As I said before, I enjoy your story so very much! Thank you for writing, it means a lot!…

**jana****:** Thank you for being so polite about it! I will keep writing!…whew! Ok, then (mops brow)


	5. Chapter Five

Author's Note: I am so sorry this has taken me so long to get out. But I had a really hard time getting this chapter from my head to the page. I already have the next chapter ready to go, it just needs some fine tuning so the next update will be quicker I promise. Thank you as always to all those who provide feedback. Your support is everything.

Disclaimer: I would be bragging that I owned the rights to anything, right? I certainly wouldn't be putting that information a section marked "Disclaimer" that's for sure. So contrary to what I tell myself may happen someday I own nothing in the LJS universe and only hope that this little part I am contributing here today does not make me target for legal action tomorrow.

No harm, no foul. Just an homage. And now on to the story!

Tom knew he should feel ashamed for the way he practically ran out of Jenny's house. He knew it full well; he just wasn't going to dwell on it. Actually, dwelling on it implied that there was a lot of thought involved. And there wasn't. The thought of shame merely skipped along the surface of Tom's mind. There were other thoughts…darker thoughts, deeper thoughts, that lay beneath the surface. 

He thrust his hands into his pockets to keep them from clenching into fists and gave a great sigh. Plotting Julian's death down to the last minute detail wasn't going to solve anything. Especially seeing as he was already dead. So it was time to move his train of thought to a more productive set of tracks, as it were.

Fortunately Dee chose that moment to call out to him.

"Hey! Wait up!"

As she got close Dee noticed the scowl occupying Tom's features and she laughed.

"Nice look. Whose death were you plotting?"

Tom grinned in spite of himself.

"Am I that transparent?"

"You tell me…was it Julian's?"

Tom rolled his eyes.

"Apparently so."

He joined Dee in her laughter.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

Casting a quick sideways glance at Tom, she continued.

"I understand, you know. How you feel? At least a little."

Seeing Tom roll his eyes again caused Dee to elbow him. He sidestepped her next attempt.

"Okay. For the sake of my now-aching side," he paused to rub the spot for emphasis, "I will indulge you. What do you think you understand, exactly?"

"Being that I am a female I understand far more than you could ever hope to, little man. Let's just get that out of the way." Ignoring Tom's laughter she continued. "Now then, I imagine you are feeling like you want to kill Julian not only because of what he's done in the very near past, but because of what he's done to you specifically."

As she talked Tom found he was becoming less and less amused.

"And what he's done is changed you. Okay, maybe all he did was put into motion events that you went through and came out a changed man."

Tom stopped walking and turned to face Dee. She held up a hand to stop his retort.

"No. Don't say anything. I'm not done yet. I haven't told you something I understand that you maybe don't and should."

There was a sinking feeling in the pit of Tom's stomach but he wisely refrained from commenting.

"It wasn't just you. We all went through those events. Some of us had different encounters, sure, but one thing holds true for us all. We have all changed. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner we all come to terms with it, actually, the better off everyone will be." And with that she took off, breaking into an easy jog as she disappeared, leaving Tom alone with his thoughts.

Zach had been following behind Tom and Dee until they stopped walking. Then he took a purposeful detour that enabled him to pass by the pair unseen. It wasn't anything personal; it was just that unlike Tom, Zach felt like being alone with his thoughts.

His grandpa was alive. During The Games Zach had wondered if he was crazy, if it was a family trait. Specifically, if he was like his grandpa, whom everyone said was crazy. Now he had his chance to really talk to him, find out about the whole family. Maybe he would even get some closure on some of these issues he'd been carrying around with him.

He wondered if Summer's reunion with her folks had gone okay. He realized everyone else had been so shocked by his and Jenny's grandfather being alive again that they had all but forgotten about Summer. No one made mention of the fact that when the group found themselves on Jenny's lawn that they had been minus Summer. He found it strange that a thought about her had occurred to him of all people. Maybe he'd ask her tomorrow how things went.

But for now he had to get home. Home to his studio where there were some pictures waiting to be developed and some sketches were dying to get out of his head and onto some canvas.

Summer finished writing in her diary and placed it in the drawer in the nightstand next to her bed. She turned off the lamplight and settled down under the covers. She thought about all the strange and horrible things she had seen. She reached over and turned the light back on. She had just noticed the closet doors were still open. She could only imagine what horrible monsters could be waiting for her once the light was off.

She threw back the covers and went to the closet. She shut the doors, but not before she grabbed the teddy bear that lay on the shelf inside. Summer ran back to bed and hid under the covers. She may have emerged from The Games a little braver, but she wasn't taking any chances. Ever.

Fortunately sleep wasn't long in coming for any of them that night.

Julian appeared in Jenny's dreams and she felt like she was going to burst with all she wanted to tell him.

"Oh Julian! It's just too wonderful! I mean I never thought in a million years! My grandfather! I thought when I used Gebo that, "she teared up for a moment then cleared her throat and continued, "I thought he was dead. Wait a minute!" A new thought struck. "Does this mean Slug and P.C. are still alive?"

"Yes."

"Oh wow!"

It was like with that single word from him she ran out of steam. She plunked down on the ground and Julian came to sit by her. She turned to face him.

"Thank you." She shook her head and laughed a little. "That seems so inadequate, though, doesn't it? I mean how do you say thank you to someone who gave you back something so precious? How am I ever going to repay you? It's impossible."

Julian leaned his head back as if he were seriously contemplating what Jenny had said. She watched him for a moment, just drinking in the sight. She was so absorbed in watching him that she failed to notice that he had spoken to her.

"Well if that's how you really feel why don't you something to demonstrate your gratitude?"

It took Jenny a moment to get a mental hold on his words so her reply was delayed a few moments.

"Huh? Do something? Like what? Plant a tree or adopt a whale in your name?" She laughed at the images she was creating. "What could I do to tell you how much it means?"

She pulled her knees up to her chest and sighed, laying her head to rest on them.

"I don't want you to tell me."

That caught her attention. She turned to look at him to find his gaze already on hers.

"What do you mean?"

"I want you…to show me."


	6. Chapter Six

Author's Note: Hi! I'm so proud of myself for the rapidity of my update. I need help in deciding if I should up the rating to an R instead of the PG-13 it has. Let me know what you think. To all who read and review you are wonderful!

Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a girl who just did the fanfic thing for laughs. She actually owned everything she wrote about. The end. Well seeing as that isn't my story I'll just say that I own no characters or the like. This is to help convince the publishing world that there is enough interest in LJS to let us have Strange Fate. So don't sue me please! Please just put out the darn book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now, the story…..

Understanding dawned and the heat rose in her cheeks.

"Oh."

And just like that the atmosphere changed. It became heavy, charged with the energy between them. He crooked his finger and she leaned over, using her hands to brace herself as she did. Julian slid his fingers into her hair and closed the distance between them until they were a kiss apart.

"Do you want to tell me some more about your day?" he asked. 

Jenny blinked in confusion. Was this another of his quick mood changes?

"Right now?"

"Yes. Do you?"

"No. Not really."

"What do you want to do?"

Jenny just looked at Julian. What in the world was he doing?

"What do you mean what do I want to do? Why are you asking me this?"

"I want to know what you feel like doing. I want to do what you want to do. I don't want you to feel like we have to do what I want to. So…what do you want to do?"

Since neither Jenny nor Julian had pulled back during this little exchange Jenny thought it was pretty obvious what she wanted to do.

"For someone who claims to want the show part of this game you certainly seem hung up on the tell part instead." She looked over his features for a moment before settling on his lips as she continued. 

"But I'll humor you. I want to begin to show you just how grateful I am. I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you until I can't breathe, until I can't think of anything else but you. Then I want to kiss you again. And again."

She lifted one of her hands up between them as he moved in, lips parted. She covered his lips with her fingertips.

"But that could just be me. What about you? What do you feel like doing? Maybe after you present your opinion we could take a vote before we move on."

Julian smiled and she removed her hand.

"Your idea sounds enough like mine that I think we should just move on to the vote. All in favor of kissing say 'Aye'."

Then he kissed her as her lips parted to speak. It was amazing the way her mind could convince her it was real. As it went on and on she felt her arms getting tired and her breathing become more ragged. Suddenly her right arm buckled and she fell onto her side, breaking the kiss.

She opened her eyes to find herself awake once more. But a quick glance at the clock on the dresser in the corner of the room assured her she still had a good six hours to sleep. Smiling she closed her eyes and concentrated on slowing her breathing down and calming her racing pulse.

This time she found herself in the same place she had woken up in when Julian had rescued her from the cave-in. He was seated on a pile of furs with a cushion propping him up. He patted a space next to him.

"Come and talk with me, Jenny."

She crossed the space and sat down on Julian's lap. The look on his face was priceless.

"Why don't we forget talking for tonight, hmm?"

Now it was her turn to stem the flow of words with her lips. Julian lost no time in responding, using his arms to crush her to him. It was impossible and unfair that Jenny could be made to feel this way, she thought. She was in danger of becoming seriously addicted to his touch, his taste.

He broke the kiss off only to change positions, moving to her neck. Her sound of protest at the loss of his lips from hers quickly became a sharp intake of breath as he worked his way down. She tilted her head to give him better access and arched towards him with a gasp as his teeth grazed her skin. 

In that moment she got it. She understood the allure of the vampire. She never knew how sensitive the skin was there, what reactions it was capable of inducing. Heaven help her but she had never felt this with Tom. Never even imagined the fire passion could cause.

They both paused to breathe and Jenny's eyes traveled all over Julian's face. She moved her hands up his chest and as she moved her fingers up his neck to his jaw line she was surprised to feel his pulse racing beneath her fingertips. Her eyes widened and she looked at Julian.

"Why are you surprised? Don't you know what you do to me, Jenny? I burn for you. Only you. Always you."

Her hands tangled in his hair as she pulled him to her, their lips locking as they began another series of kisses that lasted until Jenny's alarm shattered her dream.

Morning came too early for the rest of Jenny's friends as well. Everyone started the day in the same way--lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Though the reasons were varied, they all dreaded the day ahead of them. As each of them arrived at school they made their way to "their" place and waited for everyone to assemble.

There was a palpable tension in the air and Jenny realized someone had to break it. And as the moments ticked by she also came to the conclusion that it might be up to her. So she tried to think of something to say. Of course the obvious topic was the last one she wanted to bring up so she sat for a moment, racking her brain for something safer. And the only thing she could think of to say sounded so lame in her mind that she laughed. All eyes shifted to her.

"I was just thinking that it was funny that we all showed up here. You know, we didn't say anything but here we all are anyway."

Everyone else just looked at each other, then back at her.

"Okay. I never said what I was thinking wasn't lame. I just figured someone had to say something."

At that they all laughed.

"Sunshine you are definitely in touch with the wacky, that's for sure."

"Oh stop, Dee. I'll get a big head with all your compliments," Jenny said while rolling her eyes, "but we do have to talk about something important."

The mood turned somber again rather quickly.

"Summer," she said. As she turned to face her, Summer's eyes got wide but she said nothing.

"I'm so sorry we didn't notice yesterday. And I'm sorry I didn't call you last night to find out how things went with your mom and dad."

Summer smiled and blushed as everyone else apologized too.

"So what happened?" Michael asked.


	7. Chapter Seven

Author's Note: So I saw that this chappie had no disclaimer before I re-edited it. Sorry about that.

I disclaim everything but the plot, my friend.

She shifted in her seat, a little uncomfortable with being the center of attention.  
  
"Well it was the strangest thing," she began. "I woke up on the lawn outside of my house. I just sat there for a moment, wondering what had happened. Then I realized where I was. As I was getting up to go inside my folks came running out. My mom and dad were both crying--it was a pretty big scene--the neighbors started coming outside and soon word spread that I was there. Everyone was asking me what had happened. But my parents pretty much told everyone to back off and let them be with me."  
  
Summer raised her legs in front of her and leaned over, stretching for a minute as she continued to tell the story.  
  
"Well I knew once my parents got me alone I was going to have to explain. And I knew that you," she gestured to all of her friends, "had told the police the actual truth and they obviously thought you were nuts. So while I was thinking of something to say my dad started telling me what everyone had thought had happened. And my mom joined in and they were giving me all the stories. I hoped that if I just let them keep talking they would give me an idea. And they did."  
  
"What was it?" Michael asked.  
  
"They told me about the police theory about drugs and how there were three of us missing. Then they finally stopped talking and looked at me. They waited for me to say something. So I decided to tell the truth."  
  
"You what?!?" Tom shouted. Summer cringed at the face he made and the tone he used.  
  
"Let her finish." This came from Zach. They all turned to look at him. The fact that it was Zach defending her did not escape Jenny or Summer's notice. Tom calmed down a fraction.  
  
"Sorry. Go on."  
  
"So I said that when we opened the game and had drawn the dolls and set everything up I got kind of dizzy and I must have passed out. The next thing I knew I was getting picked up. I managed to open my eyes but all I could see was a person in a white ski mask with blue tinted ski goggles on. I opened my mouth to scream but before I had a chance to there was this foul smelling cloth placed over my mouth and nose. I remember thinking that it tasted really bad too and then I blacked out again. The next time I woke up there was something covering my eyes and a gag in my mouth. I could occasionally hear a voice, sometimes more than one, but it was always muffled, like it was coming from behind a door. I heard someone saying they'd gotten the stuff back but they had to wait until the heat was off before getting rid of the insurance."  
  
"Wow. Summer that was so smart. I mean, talk about your quick thinking." Audrey's voiced was laced with admiration. The rest of the group couldn't agree more. The story was perfect. It was better than anything anyone could think of to say.  
  
"Then what?" Michael asked, his voice hushed with awe.  
  
"Then I told them that I never got another look at anyone or heard anything else useful from them. Someone would give me food and stuff but they never talked to me or touched me at all. I said that the night before last someone had put another gross cloth over my nose and mouth and then when I came to it was outside the house."  
  
"So did they believe you?" Michael couldn't help interrupting to ask.  
  
"They both just kept hugging me and saying it was just so wonderful having me back. Then they cried again. I'm serious, you guys. I think I can safely go the rest of my life without seeing either of my parents cry ever again. It freaked me out. Anyway after a while my mom said we needed to go to the police station. So we did."  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Audrey exclaimed. "What did they say?"  
  
"Well I told them my story and they said they were glad I was back. Then they said how they had suspected drugs all along and would I mind taking a polygraph?"  
  
"They didn't believe you." Dee stated flatly.  
  
"I don't know if they did or not but I passed it, so what they think doesn't matter. Then I heard them say as I was leaving that they better see if PC and Slug were around."  
  
Everyone else looked at Jenny, and Summer followed suit.  
  
"So Jenny, are PC and Slug around?" Tom asked. Jenny wondered for a moment why he would think she knew. She did know, she was just curious why he was asking her directly instead of posing it to everyone. Come to think of it, everyone but Summer had looked at her first. So just because Jenny's grandfather was alive they thought she knew. It was Zach's grandfather, too. Why didn't they ask Zach first? She realized she was being stupid, and that regardless everyone was waiting for an answer.  
  
"Yes, they're alive." A thought struck her. "And that means I need to get a message to them about what the police think. That means I need to find Angela."  
  
She scooted off the table as Summer asked,  
  
"Did I miss something?"  
  
"Oh my goodness she doesn't know!" Audrey exclaimed.  
  
Just then the bell rang.  
  
"Zach. You two are headed in the same direction. Would you fill Summer in?" Jenny asked. Zach gave her a look but merely nodded and he and Summer headed off.  
  
"What do you mean you have to find Angela?" Tom said softly.  
  
Jenny shot him a surprised glance. No one moved a muscle.  
  
"I don't understand. I have to find her so she can tell PC and Slug what the police think."  
  
"Why? Who cares if the police think they had something to do with Summer's disappearance?" Tom replied.  
  
"I care. I think that Slug and PC have suffered enough. After what they must have gone through I think they deserve a break, not to come back and get locked up for something they didn't do."  
  
It was the closest any of them had come to talking openly about the Games since leaving Grandpa Evenson's house.  
  
The silence that ensued was painful to witness. Tom and Jenny stood staring at each other, as combatants almost. She was daring him to tell her no. He was refusing to concede that Jenny was right. Each stood rigid, unmoving. Finally Dee cleared her throat to break the tension.  
  
"Well I guess we'd all better get to class, huh?" She said, looking back and forth between Jenny and Tom.  
  
"Yes, let's go." Tom said. He led and they all followed, quickly but quietly. Neither Jenny nor Tom saw Audrey and Dee exchange a glance, then shrug their shoulders.  
  
Zach and Summer walked along for a minute before Summer broke the silence.  
  
"So what are you supposed to tell me?"  
  
"Oh. That our grandpa is alive."  
  
Summer stopped walking, shocked. When she noticed Zach hadn't stopped she reached out and grabbed his hand to make him stop.  
  
"Zach! That's great!"  
  
"Yeah, it is. We woke up on the lawn outside Jenny's and Uncle Jim came out and said that grandpa had told him we were outside."  
  
"Wow! What was it like to see him?"  
  
"It was overwhelming."  
  
They started walking together in silence again, each absorbed in their own thoughts. They had only taken a few steps when they simultaneously realized they were still holding hands. They paused, let go, and kept walking. Neither one could think of anything else to say. Summer's classroom was first so she ducked in with a quick "See you later" to which Zach merely nodded.  
  
Jenny had to wait until lunch to begin her search. She went over to the junior high and began to look for Angela. She found her in a hallway, walking towards her. Angela took one look at her face and ran over.  
  
"You know something. What is it?"  
  
"Walk with me. PC and Slug are alive."  
  
Jenny grabbed her shoulder as Angela turned to run. She swung her back around.  
  
"It's not that easy. The police are looking for them."  
  
Angela's eyes filled with tears. She opened her mouth but Jenny stopped her with a shake of her head.  
  
"I know, I know. But that's not the issue. What's important is to get the police off the idea that they had anything to do with Summer disappearing. Now then, are you interested?"  
  
Angela just nodded her head.  
  
"Okay. It'll help a lot that Summer is back."  
  
"She is?"  
  
"Yes. But that's not enough. They need to be cleared of suspicion of all charges. And I think I know how to do that."  
  
"What do you mean 'all the charges'? Now that Summer's back the police will know they had nothing to do with it."  
  
"No, they won't. Summer told the police she never saw the face of her kidnapper. But the police found PC and Slug's fingerprints in my house. And so far there's been no explanation as to how they got there. Add that to their juvenile records and the police will and have connected the dots."  
  
Jenny could tell that Angela was finally beginning to understand the problem ahead.  
  
"So what can I do?"  
  
"I need to tell you exactly what Summer said to the police. That way you can tell PC and Slug what they need to say in order to convince the police that they really had nothing to do with anything. The police need to believe they were taken advantage of, too. So let's meet right after school and I'll fill you in."  
  
She turned to leave but Angela stopped her.  
  
"What makes you think either of them will be looking for me? Or that they'll find me before the cops do?"  
  
Jenny smiled in admiration. The girl was really bright. Those were good questions.  
  
"Well, I'm really hoping that they can avoid the police until you have a chance to talk. And as far as them looking for you goes..."  
  
She paused again, unclear as to how much she should reveal.  
  
"All I can say is that I understand a little bit about what they went through. It's not the kind of thing adults would believe--not that you want to tell them, anyway. But it's something you may want to share with a friend--if you feel like sharing. And you're the most likely person PC would talk to, at least from what I know about you that's what I think. Now I have to get back. Will you meet me here?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Jenny left, checking the wall clock as she passed it. She had just enough time to make an appointment with the guidance counselor for later in the week.


	8. Chapter Eight

It was with no small amount of surprise that Jenny found herself face-to- face with Angela as soon as she stepped outside. She noted with some concern that Angela was breathing heavily.  
  
"Angela? What's wrong? Are you all right?"  
  
"Yeah. I just couldn't wait so I ran all the way over here."  
  
Angela smiled and Jenny laughed.  
  
"Come on. We can go find a nice spot in the shade to sit and talk."  
  
"Jenny!" Came a voice from a distance.  
  
She and Angela looked at each other, and then they both turned around to see who it was.  
  
"Summer?"  
  
Jenny and Angela waited for her to catch up with them.  
  
"Hey Summer," Jenny said. Then she realized that Angela and Summer hadn't been introduced. "Angela, this is Summer. Summer, this is Angela."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Hello."  
  
"So what's up, Summer?"  
  
"I wanted to help. I figured I could talk to Angela, too."  
  
Jenny smiled. She was glad to have Summer's help. She was admittedly more thankful for what the gesture meant, though. It meant that Summer, at least, didn't blame Jenny for wanting to help PC and Slug.  
  
"Well, let's get started. The sooner we talk the sooner Angela can get home."  
  
It didn't take long to tell the story. Then the girls worked out exactly what Angela would tell PC and Slug, including what PC and Slug would be told to tell the police. As they were gathering their things to leave Jenny was surprised to catch sight of Zach.

[[[[[]]]]]  
  
He was leaning against a tree and from the look of things he was waiting for something. Or someone, she thought to herself as she followed the direction of his gaze and noticed what-- correction--make that _who_, he was looking at. Although he was currently pretending not to be watching Summer he wasn't doing a good job of it--but he looked cute trying. Jenny smiled as she finished putting her books away. Maybe Zach's newfound interest in girls would last longer than she first thought. She remembered their morning meeting and wondered if having Zach fill Summer in had led to anything. She briefly considered asking Summer but realized it wasn't the right time or place.  
  
"Okay, Angela. Are you clear on everything?" Jenny asked. At her nod she continued.  
  
"All right. Let us know how everything turns out, especially if there's a problem like you don't hear from them soon."  
  
With a wave Angela took off, leaving Summer and Jenny alone.  
  
"Thanks a lot, Summer. You were terrific. Really, you were a big help. I'm glad you decided to stay and get involved."  
  
They walked toward the tree where Zach was. Jenny could guess the moment Summer realized Zach was there, but only because she stopped dead in her tracks. Jenny pretended not to notice the looks flying between her friend and cousin.  
  
"Hey Zach," Jenny called out, "What's going on?"  
  
"Well I thought I would see if it was okay if I came to your house and talked with Grandpa Evenson."  
  
"Sure. Summer was going to come over and help me cram for my Spanish test." She improvised hoping Summer wouldn't blow her cover.  
  
"Oh, okay. Do you two need a ride?"  
  
"Actually that would be great. Thanks, Zach."

[[[[[]]]]]  
  
At Jenny's house Zach disappeared quickly, leaving Jenny to go to her room with Summer following silently behind her. She remained silent until the door shut. Then she rounded on Jenny.  
  
"All right. Out with it. What was that all about?"  
  
"Sorry about that. But I noticed some tension between the two of you and wanted to give you guys a chance to work it out. And I knew it would come down to forcing Zach. So I figure he can take you home and you two can clear the air. Or not."  
  
Summer rolled her eyes, clearly not believing Jenny.  
  
"Whatever. What about Spanish?"  
  
"Well I wouldn't mind having you help me study while we wait."  
  
Summer was waiting for Jenny to ask about the tension she had noticed. But Jenny never said a word about it, content to study Spanish. Summer realized it probably was a good idea to talk to Zach. She didn't want everyone to realize that there was tension and comment on it. If Jenny had noticed everyone else was bound to as well. Better to get things back to normal.

[[[[[]]]]]  
  
Jenny and Summer went down to the kitchen once they were done studying. They were sitting at the table talking about Angela when Zach walked in with Grandpa Evenson. Jenny got up and hugged her grandfather. Then she turned to face Summer.  
  
"Summer, maybe you should call your mom or dad and see if they can come pick you up. I know how they worry about you nowadays."  
  
Summer looked at her quizzically. Then she caught on.  
  
"Oh yeah. I'd better call and tell them we're done studying."  
  
"Nonsense, Summer," Grandpa Evenson said. "Zach can take you home. Isn't that right, Zach?"  
  
For a moment Zach looked sick, like his grandfather had just asked him to skin an animal or something. Then he wiped his expression clean.  
  
"Sure. Whatever."  
  
"Thanks, Zach. I appreciate it."  
  
As Summer and Zach left Jenny faced her grandfather, who was looking at her and smiling what could only be termed a co-conspirator's smile.  
  
"So how'd I do?" he asked. Jenny's eyes widened.  
  
"Was it that obvious?"  
  
"Don't worry," he said, laughing at her panicked expression. "It may have been obvious to me but I'm sure Zach is clueless."

[[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]][[[[[]]]]]

Author's note: I forgot the disclaimer in the real chapter seven so I will put it here and mention that it is retroactive.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I can give you nothing if you sue. I don't want you to sue, so please don't. Use your powers for good, not evil.


	9. Chapter Nine

Zach opened the car door for Summer then worked his way to the driver's side. As he reached for the door handle he noticed his palms were sweaty. He frowned and wiped his hands on his pants before getting into the car.  
  
Summer glanced over at Zach, who had yet to say a word to her. They drove in silence for a while, and Summer tried to think of something to say. It wasn't like she and Zach had ever spent hours engaged in deep, soul-searching conversations. Not even minutes. But there was never this incredible awkwardness. The more she thought about it, the more it annoyed her. She wondered if she should give voice to her thoughts, but then worried it would hurt Zach's feelings.  
  
As quickly as that thought came, however, she dismissed it. She didn't do anything wrong, after all. Zach was the one who was acting like a freak. What would it hurt for her to say something? It's not like she and Zach were an item or anything. So nothing to lose there. The worst that could happen would be for her and Zach to feel even more awkward around each other, and since Summer couldn't conceive how that could happen, she made up her mind. She decided she may as well say something and risk everything--she had nothing to lose.  
  
"Zach! Pull over!"  
  
"Why? What's wrong?" he asked although he pulled over without the answer.  
  
"Zach, this is crazy. I can't stand feeling awkward around you. Now I'm sorry that you're not comfortable with me. But seeing as you're Jenny's cousin and I'm one of her best friends we don't have a lot of choices here. We can forget what happened or not. Whatever we do, though, we better do it soon."  
  
With that she got out of the car, leaving Zach to look after her, dumbfounded. He was more surprised to see her turn around after a few steps and come back to the car. She paused with her hand outstretched to the passenger door, then thought better of it. She checked for oncoming traffic and made her way to the driver's side, where she knocked on the window. Zach obediently rolled down the window.  
  
"One more thing," Summer added as Zach looked at her mutely, "It's not that big of a deal. So we were holding hands for a few seconds. It's not the end of the world. It's not even that exciting. If I had _wanted_ to make you feel weird I would have done something much more dramatic. So get over it."  
  
Then she left again, but this time she didn't come back, choosing instead to walk home the remainder of the way.  
  
Zach could only sit and stare after her, stunned. What had gotten into Summer? She was never this outspoken before. He couldn't believe what she had said to him. Then he took a moment to actually process what she said. He had been so taken aback by the fact that she was ranting that he hadn't actually been listening.  
  
The nerve! The way she told it **he** was the only one to blame for the weirdness between them. And what was with the crack about it not being exciting? Maybe it was an everyday occurrence for her but when they were holding hands Zach felt...and what did she mean by something more dramatic? It sounded to Zach's male mind like a dare. So, she thought she would just get to say her peace then leave? Ha! He would show her! But how?

[[[[[]]]]]  
  
The phone rang and Jenny's dad called up, interrupting her study session.  
  
"Jenny! Telephone!"  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi. It's me, Tom."  
  
"Oh hi." Wow, it seemed like ages since she and Tom had talked on the phone. "What's going on?"  
  
"I wanted to apologize for the way I acted this morning. You were right. I shouldn't have gotten so upset about you wanting to help PC and Slug. I overreacted and I'm sorry."  
  
Tom was apologizing? It seemed so, well, out of character. Jenny realized he was waiting for her to say something.  
  
"Oh. Well, that's okay. I understand why you'd be upset."  
  
"Do you?" Just then Jenny heard the moment of silence that usually indicated there was a call on the other line. "Jenny? That's my other line. I'll be back in a sec, okay?"  
  
As Jenny waited she wondered what Tom had meant. Why did he think she would not understand his reaction that morning?  
  
"Jenny, it's a call for my mom. Listen, why don't we go out this weekend? Just you and me?"  
  
Jenny's stomach tightened for a second. She forced herself to relax and respond.  
  
"Ok."  
  
"We'll work the details out later. See you tomorrow. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
As Jenny crawled into bed that night she couldn't help but feel relieved that she and Tom did not have a chance to have a more serious talk. She was having a hard time coming to grips with all of these new feelings. Maybe going out with Tom this weekend was just what the doctor ordered. It would be a return to normalcy.  
  
She realized she was absent-mindedly twisting the ring Julian gave her as she thought. As she looked at the gold band it came to her that she had to face the very real possibility that Tom wasn't okay with Jenny wearing Julian's ring. Maybe he did not understand like she had assumed. They really needed to talk about it. They really needed to talk about everything. She may have assumed too much already. As she lay there Jenny wondered if there was a normal life for her to return to. And would she want to, given the choice?  
  
But that was for later. For now she concentrated on her feelings for Julian. Of course she devoted way too much time to this subject already, but when she was alone she tended to allow it to take over completely. There was a dull ache in her chest and her breathing became hitched as she naturally thought about his death again. It had been a while since she had thought about it. She tended to spend more time focusing on their shared dreams.  
  
With a tremendous force of will she forced herself to reflect instead on her own changed feelings for Julian. When had they changed? She really needed to get all of her thoughts in order before she could attempt to explain them to anyone else. And she had the feeling the time was fast approaching when she may be called upon to do just that.  
  
She had told herself that the fire had burned away the part that responded to Julian. But then in the boats she had admitted to Julian that she cared about him. Come to think about it she had pretty much admitted that fact to Dee and the others, for they were in the boat too, she reminded herself. But she wasn't going to worry about it now.  
  
Jenny decided that everything had crystallized when Tom picked her up and tried to take her away from Julian. She remembered the tantrum she had thrown. She wasn't going to deny its cause--she had wanted to be with Julian. Maybe he was right and eventually would have proven that he was too far gone in the dark for her to save him. That didn't mean she didn't want to try. But then he sacrificed himself for her and it was over.  
  
Sure she had tried to be brave, reassuring herself that nothing could be done and that this was how it was. And even as she got into the cab and wished Julian well, should he be reborn someday, she was trying to act like, well, like everyone expected her to. What an idiot!  
  
But lying in the dark with no one watching--_anymore_, she amended silently--she realized that she felt angry. Upset that she had been denied the chance to end things with Julian on better terms, her terms...if she had even **wanted** to end them. Given an automatic do-over would she have left Julian to the Shadow World? Or would she have decided to try to relate to him more? Gotten to know him? Sat down and really talked, one on one? Seen if they could have had a relationship?  
  
She felt a twinge at the direction of her thoughts. Here she was, musing over the possibility of a relationship with someone who wasn't Tom. Granted, that someone was dead but still, there was Tom to consider. But like Scarlett, Jenny was not going to think about it until tomorrow. She wanted to think about Julian some more, and try to understand the thoughts tumbling around in her mind.  
  
So where was she? Oh yes, thinking about the what-if of her and Julian having a relationship. Would it have been possible? They already had an enormous gravitational pull towards one another. She gave a chuckle, thinking of the sheer inadequacy of the English language when it came to quantifying this sort of thing. It was all right to examine it now that she was alone. And examining the sparks was infinitely more preferable than crying over his death again.  
  
She lay in bed trying to think of a word to describe the intense nature of their physical, well actually their overall attraction to one another. Chemistry? Yes. Desire? Definitely. But she loved Tom, right? Tom...what was she going to do about him? Since her mind went back to him she decided to indulge that topic.  
  
She felt herself changing, had since the first Game. She was willing now to branch out and become her own person, not just part of the Tom-and-Jenny unit that had controlled her life for so long. It's not that she didn't love Tom anymore, she told herself, it was just that she loved Julian too. She had realized it before and knew that he was now going to be categorized as a lost love.  
  
Jenny felt as though she was at a crossroads, and the only thing certain about either direction was that neither road led back to any semblance of her life before the Games. She knew deep down that she couldn't go back to Tom, after Julian. And she couldn't be with Julian, so where did she go?  
  
She indulged her fantasies for a while, detailing a life with Julian that would never exist. After a while, though, she had to stop herself. It was too tempting to lose herself in these visions. She became angry for torturing herself with them and not dealing in reality. But the what-ifs lingered at the back of her mind. Jenny groaned and rolled over onto her side, wondering if never knowing about a future she and Julian might have shared would ultimately kill her.  
  
Where did _that_ come from? That was way too depressing. She began to cry again, full of self-pity, until she wore herself out. Thinking how unfair life suddenly was and how growing up was nothing like the brochure said it would be, she fell asleep with a last sigh.

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Author's note: Thank you so much to all people who read and review...to know that there are other people out there who take the time to read and write is just such a wonderful feeling! More please!  
  
Disclaimer: As always I own nothing. All characters belong to LJ Smith, et al. But if that's not enough :--( Swings pocket watch back and forth in front of lawyers' eyes) In a monotone voice..."You will not sue me"..."You know I mean no harm"..."You have better ways of spending your time"..."Cluck like a chicken!"


	10. Chapter Ten

Jenny dreamed of being on a playground that night. She was alone, sitting on a swing when suddenly she detected a presence behind her. She turned in her seat to see who it was, although it wasn't really necessary. It was Julian. As he made his way to her she realized that although she was happy to see him, she felt sad. And she knew why.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he came up behind her, giving her a gentle push.

"I don't know how long I can keep this up," she sighed as she allowed him to keep pushing her.

"I figured that might be it," he said.

She dug her heels in, stopping the swing. She turned around to face him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this." He gestured to everything around them and between them. "I know that you can't dream about me every night. Not if you want a chance to lead a normal life."

"What's so great about normal?" The words were out before she thought about them. Great. Wasn't she supposed to be here saying something that sounded pretty much opposite where her train of thought was going now?

"Jenny," he pulled her out of the swing and into his arms. "This isn't goodbye forever. It could never be forever. This is just how it has to be. We'll still see each other in dreams. But you need to live. It's your time to have new experiences, meet new people. And I'll be here, waiting. For when you want to tell me about the new you, and when you want to say nothing at all."

He was right. Jenny knew that. He was saying all of the things she wanted to say, and needed to hear. But it was hard. She didn't want to let go. But what choice did she have? He wasn't part of her world. He never got the chance to be, not a long enough one, anyway. She tucked her face into his chest and held him as he held her. She refused to cry, although that was exactly what she felt like doing. This wasn't goodbye. She kept repeating it to herself, like a mantra. What she needed to do was find a way to lift the mood. She searched her brain.

"What about our all-night makeout sessions?"

He laughed and she could feel it in his chest.

"I am always here for those, too. You say the word and I will make myself available for whatever nefarious purposes you have in mind."

She tilted her head back so she could look into his eyes. She reached up and cupped his jaw with her hand, suddenly serious.

"What am I going to do without you?"

He took her hand in his. Then he smiled, giving her one of those wolf-hungry looks that made her weak in the knees.

"I think the question is what are you going to do _with_ me?"

Then he brought his head down, matching his lips to hers. His kiss started out light as air, as if he were sampling her. Gradually they became more intense and heated, with Jenny's arms around his neck and his around her waist, holding her as tight as he could.

Jenny knew she was spoiling any future relationship for herself in moments like these. She had to be, because there was no one on earth who could ignite the feelings inside of her that Julian did. She sent a silent prayer heavenward, begging for forgiveness for allowing herself to continually give in to temptation.

But as Julian's hand trailed up the length of her spine, causing an involuntary shiver to race through her, she acknowledged herself a lost cause when it came to Julian. She was thankful this was just a dream…if this were reality she would have fainted from the pleasure long before now.

[[[[[]]]]]

Tom met Jenny at her locker the next morning.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hi," she replied. It was hard to know how to act around Tom now. Especially after the dreams she had…with a conscious effort she put all thoughts of Julian out of her mind. It was better that way. She had to deal with life as she knew it.

"So what would you like to do this weekend?" He asked. Jenny felt more than a few pangs of guilt as she realized that she hadn't given it any thought whatsoever.

"I haven't a clue. What about you?"

"Maybe we can catch a movie. I don't know if the gang has any plans but we can get together with them, too. What do you think?"

"It sounds good to me."

In actuality it sounded weird to her. Before they never had talks like this. She mentally shrugged off those thoughts.

[[[[[]]]]]

The gang met at their table during lunch but they were minus Zach, a fact that Summer definitely noticed and chose not to comment on.

"So anybody got any plans for this weekend?" Dee asked.

"Jenny and I are going out one night, but we could all get together and do something," Tom answered.

"There's a party Saturday night, if anybody's interested in going," Audrey volunteered.

"Color me a party animal," Michael joked, looping his arm around Audrey and giving her a loud kiss on the cheek when he noticed her eyes rolling. "As long as I'm with you I'm a happy camper."

That earned groans from the whole table.

[[[[[]]]]]

Zach appeared and made his way to the table. His eyes were on one thing and one thing only—Summer.

"Hey Zach!" Michael called out. "We're party-bound Saturday. You in?"

Zach ignored him, choosing instead to reach out and grab Summer's arm.

"You're coming with me."

Summer's cheeks flamed as Zach yanked her off of the table, pulling her behind him like she was some disobedient puppy. The rest of the group just stared after the departing couple.

"Zach?! Have you lost your mind? What are you doing?" Summer cried out.

He ignored her outburst but stopped so suddenly that she crashed into him. As she took a step back he whirled around.

"So you just thought you could say those things to me and that would be it, hmm?"

Summer sighed and looked down at the ground. She had thought this might happen.

"Zach, if you're upset with me I'm sorry. I knew what I said might hurt your feelings but it was a risk I had to take. I'd rather have you mad and sulking than, well, you know," she finished lamely, scuffing her shoe on the ground. He just stared at her for a moment, and Summer felt as though his eyes were boring holes into her.

"I spent more time than I care to admit thinking about what you said. The way you said it, why you said it, everything. And I decided that you needed someone to put you over their knee and smack some sense into you."

Summer's head whipped up. Her mouth dropped open and she took another step back. Zach was considering violence? Towards her? Somehow this possibility had never occurred to her in the car.

He gave a reluctant half smile at her look.

"Summer, I am not going to beat you." He shook his head. "Honestly. But thanks for the vote of confidence. You're thinking I'm capable of it." His voice was heavy with sarcasm. She started to protest but he stopped her with a raised hand.

"No, I admit that was my first thought. But then I thought about it and found I didn't feel like doing that to you. I realized that you needed something else more. And I'm just the guy for the job."

He took a step towards her and she took one away from him. He took another step and so did she. Summer wasn't sure she liked the look on his face. Combined with the way he was walking it was downright predatory. And she definitely felt like prey.

On closer inspection though the look he was giving her struck Summer as oddly familiar. She tried to think of what that look reminded her of, and it hit her with a force like a tidal wave. It was close to the way Julian looked at Jenny. But that was crazy. Because Julian had wanted Jenny, and that would mean….she stopped moving and her eyes got even wider. It wasn't possible.

Summer's sudden paralysis was the break Zach had been looking for. He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to him. She still had that deer-in-the-headlights look. He tilted her chin up and kissed her softly.

_ Oh my._

Summer's eyes fluttered shut and she slowly moved her hand up to the back of Zach's neck. He responded by curving his arm around her waist. She felt weak in the knees and a bit light-headed too. She lost the ability to form rational thoughts and was reduced to a pool of feelings.

He broke the kiss and waited for her to open her eyes. When she did it took her a moment to fully focus on his features. Her eyes widened again and she was too stunned to speak.

So were all of their friends who had been watching the exchange with interest.

"Now then," Zach said in a whisper, "Is that what you had in mind when you mentioned 'something more dramatic' to make things weird between us?"

Summer frowned slightly.

"Did you only do that to prove a point?" She responded in a voice just as quiet.

"No."

She waited for him to continue, but when it became clear that he wasn't going to she went on.

"So why did you?"

He winked and released her, walking away without a word.

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Author's Note: It's about that time for me to thank all the reviewers again so if you want to see your name listed you know the drill…r&r!! Please!  
  
Disclaimer: (Removes wand from a trench coat inner pocket. Shakes it, coughing at the immense amount of dust that motion sets free.) "Abracadabra! I own everything!" (Waits for the magic to work…and waits…and waits)  
  
Well seeing as that didn't work let's just say I own nothing, LJS owns everything sans plot, please don't sue me, thank you, and leave it at that, shall we?


	11. Chapter Eleven

            Summer stood in place for a long moment, watching Zach saunter off. She was having an incredibly difficult time forming a coherent thought. All she could think was that Zach had kissed her.

_            Zach. _

_            Kissed. _

_            Her. _

_            Holy. _

_            Cow._  
  
            The bell signaling the end of lunch broke her semi-hypnotic trance and she left, wondering briefly when Jenny, Audrey and Dee were going to corner her and ask for the scoop.

[[[[[]]]]]

            For their part the girls and Michael and Tom were too dumbstruck to do much of everything. They remained at the table wearing shocked expressions until the bell rang. Then Audrey snapped out of it and turned to the other girls.  
  
            "Come on! We have to catch her and find out what that was all about!"  
  
            But it wasn't until after school that anyone caught up with Summer. And when she did Jenny wasn't too surprised to see her still in a bit of a daze.  
  
            "Summer?"  
  
            "Hmm?"  
  
            "You okay?"  
  
            "What? Oh, yeah."  
  
            "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
            "No thanks. Not right now, anyway. You know how it is."  
  
            Boy did she ever. Jenny simply nodded and left Summer to work things out for herself. As she made her way home she remembered when she had last been in a situation similar to Summer's. It was during the ring ceremony when everyone saw her and Julian kiss.  
  
            Mmm…kissing Julian. It had quickly moved to the top of her list of favorite things to do whenever and wherever. She blushed as she thought of how that would have sounded spoken aloud. She then giggled as she admitted she didn't care…she meant it no matter how it was worded.  
  
            But she quickly sobered as she remembered that she had a date with Tom coming up. Somehow she knew Julian wouldn't be making an entrance into her dreams before that.

[[[[[]]]]]

            Tom was nervous as he dressed for his date with Jenny. He paused, thinking that he could not recall a time when that had ever been the case. But things were different now and he had to deal with it. He had a lot to deal with lately. He thought back to his talk with Dee earlier in the week. He rubbed his rib in remembrance. Perhaps talk was a strong word to use. He recalled what Dee had said about everyone having gone through changes. Maybe they all needed to take some time and figure out what that meant for each of them.  
  
            That thought caused Tom to panic ever so slightly. They had been together as a group for so long that the thought of being alone again wasn't too appealing. Of course he had abandoned the group for a while there back when he thought he was protecting Jenny, but that was different. To break up the group now would just seem weird.  
  
            No, maybe what they all needed was just to have things go back to normal. Return to the status quo. Was that even possible anymore?

[[[[[]]]]]

            Jenny sat on her floor in a meditative pose, focusing on calming her breathing down and relaxing in general. She had seriously considered calling off this whole date but she had decided to see it through. Actually she had chickened out, because canceling would have put her one step closer to breaking up with Tom and she wasn't sure she was ready to do that. After talking with Julian she knew she needed to get on with her life and now she was considering a simple retreat into the familiar instead.  
  
            As she continued her breathing she finally decided that it was worth a try to see where things between her and Tom could go. Maybe things would be better than ever. Jenny felt that she owed it to Tom to give their relationship another chance. It wasn't Tom's fault that Julian had made his presence felt. Tom never really stood a chance against Julian. No, that wasn't fair either. Jenny had chosen Tom during the Games more than once.  
  
            It's just that Jenny had changed. And one of the ways she had changed was in her feelings toward Tom. She thought about how she would describe them to someone else and realized that she did love Tom, it was just in a different way now. Before, Tom was her whole universe and she never realized, or gave much thought to, what else--if anything--was out there for her.  
  
            But now it was like waking into a dream. Where your dream is this amazing reality you never knew existed and yet you created it yourself. It was so full of possibilities for Jenny, and there was a huge part of her that just couldn't wait to see what else was in store for her. Unfortunately for her there was a part that was so stubborn and so afraid of being alone that the result found Jenny holding on to the past. And Jenny thought she was maybe holding on a little too tightly.  
  
            Just then the doorbell rang and Jenny ended her not-so-helpful meditation and went to greet Tom and see where the night would take them. He looked great, if a little nervous. There was an awkward moment when they couldn't seem to agree on the proper physical greeting. Jenny had her arms outstretched to give Tom a hug and he leaned in simultaneously for a kiss. The result was akin to Jenny shoving Tom away.  
  
            It was what they needed to break the ice--she giggled and he smiled. Tom stepped aside to give her room to pass and they made their way to the car. However they drove in silence, each lost as to what to say to the other. Finally Jenny started to ask about classes that they didn't share and to bring up things that had happened during the few days they had been back. Tom contributed to the pile of safe topics as well by starting a conversation that lasted until they got to the theater.  
  
            "So what is going on with Summer and Zach?"  
  
            "I have no idea. I mean, that scene at lunch was totally unexpected!"  
  
            "And out of character," Tom added.  
  
            "Well I don't know about that. I mean if you think about it, we've never seen how Zach is around girls."  
  
            "Yeah that's true. He's never really shown any interest in anyone. Well...any obvious interest anyway. Definitely not interest like he showed in Summer."  
  
            Jenny laughed as she thought of Summer's face when Zach had retreated from their kiss. At Tom's questioning look she shared her thought.  
  
            "The look on Summer's face was priceless! Talk about a deer-in-the- headlight stare!"  
  
            Tom laughed too and it felt like they were together just like old times…almost.  
  
            "What did Summer have to say about everything?" Tom asked.  
  
            "She's keeping pretty quiet. In fact, as far as I know she hasn't talked about it with anyone. There's no use asking Zach, either--I know better. So we'll have to wait until one of them decides to spill the beans."  
  
            They pulled in to the parking lot and as they made their way to the ticket counter Jenny realized she had no idea what movie they were going to see.  
  
            "So what are we seeing?"  
  
            "Max's Aria."  
  
            Jenny tried to remember if she'd seen a preview or read a review about the film but she was coming up blank. As they made their way to their seats Jenny gave up trying to guess what the movie was about. How bad could it be anyway? At least they didn't have to talk during the film. Jenny acknowledged to herself that it had been a little weird in the car. The way they stuck to safe topics was so, well, foreign to them. Jenny thought about asking Tom to describe the plot of the movie they were about to see.  
  
            She realized she was once again choosing a safe topic to end the silence they were currently experiencing. Suddenly the thought struck her that this was just like old times.Tom always chose the movie they would go see. It's not like she cared all she was there for was Tom's company anyway. Before she could dwell on that or ask Tom about the film the lights dimmed and she settled back into her seat, curious to see what Tom had chosen.  
  
_            "Correction--make that it's not like I cared then"_ Jenny thought an hour and a half later as she shifted in the already uncomfortable theater seat. She felt really bad that she was this uncomfortable during the movie but she could not believe Tom's choice. It was this overly sappy romantic drama about an unwed mother who gave up her dream of singing on Broadway to care for her sick little kid who played matchmaker for his mom and found her Mr. Right. Then of course the kid ended up dying before he could see his mom's dreams of singing come true. Thankfully the mom's aria on Broadway signaled the end of the film and Jenny almost bolted out of the theater.  
  
            If Jenny had chosen she would not have chosen a romantic drama, or even a romantic comedy. She would have avoided anything with a hint of romance. Although thinking about it a bit more she thought she probably could have handled a romantic comedy. It would have beat a down-and-dirty action movie, likely the only other option, but this just felt wrong.  
  
            And that was a problem because pre-Games she would have chosen this herself (if asked, she thought bitterly) and would have curled up next to Tom, not minding the armrest digging into her side. It was another sign that she had changed.

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Author's Note: WOWIE!!!!!!!!!!! I have got to tell you guys how wonderful it was to come back to FF.net after the unfortunate down time and find all these new reviews! I am feeling so good about everything so thank you so much to those of you who have written in! You guys rule!  
  
Dark blush stains cheeks as we hear the stage whisper: "Sorry about the delay in chapters, too!"  
  
Moving on: As promised I am including the dedication to the newbies (well those who wrote to me after my last dedication chapter): on the bottom  
  
Disclaimer: Two pages of AN means I just say I wish I was her but I'm not so please don't sue me and take away my sunshine..I need to be happy when skies are gray just like everyone else.

**Lee** Your review was just tigger-ific! I say "tigger" because I pretty much bounced around the room after reading it.I felt that good! Thank you!

**Kazuline** I am going to get a swelled head! My ego is in danger of inflating beyond mortal standards! You flatter me too much! Wow! I am so glad that you enjoy my writing enough to say such nice things!

**Kazuline** You get another one 'cause you wrote in twice! I'm so happy to hear that someone else besides me laughed during it.I laughed as I wrote the first few chapters especially and I'm just happy to not be laughing alone anymore! Thank you for taking the time to write me!

**Lady Sanzennine** Sorry about the lack of point.when I write about Julian I sort of switch into the old "Plot What Plot?" mentality.but I promise to mentally smack myself more often and get the story moving more! Thank you!

**BeQwerty** Julian... (okay, I admit it! I'm hopelessly in love with Julian...but who isn't?) Hey.I'm with you there! I have flirted with the idea of having J & J get way more physical than I have so far but who knows? Maybe I will have to do a re-write and post a new version with a much higher rating for those interested? Hmm.the idea has merit! Anyhoo.thanks so much for the feedback.you are wonderful!

**Drkstorm** Thank you for your kind words.now that FF.net is back and better than ever I am going to do my best to get things up faster and faster!

**Kristen Michelle** I really do like your story.and I promise to get over and review it again! So you're a Zach and Summer fan? I think they have a lot of potential..Your compliments just blow me away! I'm so glad that you are taking the time to write and let me know what you think.I was just tickled pink to see your name up here (time and time again!) and I want you to know that I appreciate everything you write!!!!!

**Dragon Fire** Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!

**Rain** Avidly..twenty-five cent word! Yes! I love people who make use of their vocabularies and you are obviously one of them! It means so much to me to read that you think I write even remotely close to ljs.wow! I hope to hear from you again soon!

**Dulce**** Ambrosia** Thank you so much! I really appreciate the compliment! I hope chapter 11 and beyond live up to your expectations! Leopardess So have I done an okay job with Zach and Summer thus far? I'm thrilled to read that you're enjoying the story! I hope that you didn't give up on me and despair I would ever write again!

**Dragon Fire** Short, sweet, to the point. Thank you! I'm glad you laughed even a little at it!

**Leopardess** I want more Julian too! All Julian all the time! Thank you for saying you love my fic. I love you for it! Sorry I haven't gotten to where PC and Slug are.but I swear I will!

**lotty** I don't really have to work to make Julian seem sexy.he just is all by his incredible self! Thank you for making the effort to write.sorry about the cliffhangers! I will try to keep your hopes for the story met and I welcome your comments!

**Kristen Michelle** You are so good to me! I love everything you have to say! Thanks for writing so much!

**Baloo** I'm going for a whole sexy-without-sex thing here. Thanks so much for your praise.it means a lot, especially considering how much I adore your story!

**Leopardess** I have accepted your order to keep writing humbly and present you with my latest installment.I hope the wait wasn't too unbearable? Thanks for writing. I like the cliffhangers but I try to only put them in when I know I'm updating soon 'cause I don't like to be too evil to you guys.if the wait between chapters with cliffhangers gets to me I can only imagine what everyone who isn't me thinks!

**Kitten** I hope you're still reading! Thank you for writing and I'll try to have more chapters up at a much quicker rate!

**Kristen Michelle** Just 'cause I like you so much and rely on you for feedback I'm throwing in another thank you!


	12. Chapter Twelve

            Tom hastened to catch up with Jenny. When he did they simply walked together in silence; each absorbed with similar disturbing thoughts. As they reached the car Tom punctuated the silence.  
  
            "How about dessert?"  
  
            Jenny fixed Tom with a glance, taking a moment to think before replying. She wasn't fooling herself, she knew full well what they were heading into. She was terrified, sure. But was she ready?  
  
            "Sounds good."  
  
            Okay, she thought. Taking action is good. Now what? She needed to calm down. So while Tom concentrated on the road and finding a suitable song on the radio Jenny focused on calming herself. She unclenched her hands from the fists they were in and she took a few deep breaths. She calmed down considerably when she realized she could just take the coward's way out and follow Tom's lead. Yes, that sounded like a viable candidate for Plan A as far as Jenny was concerned.  
  
            They pulled up to the town's only bookstore, which happened to have the town's only café attached to it. Jenny wondered absently if Tom chose it because he knew of the calming influence that it tended to have on her. There were plush leather seats secluded near the back windows for the avid reader, with green banker's lights suspended from the wall sporadically throughout the store. Tom led Jenny to the café side and they sat in a booth next to a wall with one of Monet's prints facing them. A few more minutes were spent deciding what to order then came the moment of truth...they were alone at the table.  
  
            "So what did you think of the movie?" Tom asked.  
  
            Jenny glanced over to see if he was joking or not. Deciding he wasn't she thought for a moment of a diplomatic way of saying it was terrible. She decided to focus on the positive aspects, concluding that if they were going to fight, she wasn't using the movie as a starting point.  
  
            "Well she had a good voice."  
  
            "Yeah she did. I wonder if that was really her singing?"  
  
            "Good question. I don't know."  
  
            And so it went.

            Through dessert and until they arrived at Jenny's. Each of them dancing around important topics and keeping up the small talk. Part of Jenny was immensely relieved while the other part was frustrated--mostly with herself for being so timid.  
  
            Tom walked Jenny to the door. He couldn't believe how the night had gone. It was like a first date...and not in a good way. He wondered if he was going to be having a lot of first dates in the near future. He blamed himself for putting distance between them during the Games. He thought he'd save the day and Jenny would be waiting in the wings…eternally grateful and eternally his. He had it all wrong. Her question temporarily blocked his thoughts.  
  
            "So you think you'll want to go to the party tomorrow night?"  
  
            "What party?"  
  
            "At Sarah's. Audrey mentioned it, remember?"  
  
            "Sure, it sounds good. What time is it?"  
  
            "I think everyone's getting there around 9:00. But I'll double-check with Audrey to make sure."  
  
            "Okay. I'll call you tomorrow and see what's happening."

            "All right."  
  
            And then it was time to say good night. This time there was no repeat of the awkward hello. They both went for the hug.  
  
            As Tom bounded down the stairs and towards his car Jenny felt like she had to say something. They were drifting apart. The thought choked her.  
  
            "Tom?"  
  
            "Yeah?"  
  
            "I do love you, you know."  
  
            "I know."  
  
            But it wasn't enough.

[[[[[]]]]]  
  
            Dee got off the phone with Audrey and called Summer.  
  
            "Hello?"  
  
            "Hi Summer, it's Dee."  
  
            "Oh hi! What's up?"  
  
            "Well we need to talk. All of us. About what happened. Especially Jenny. She's been, well I think it would really help her to get it all out. So I was thinking that we could all spend the night tonight at Aba's after the party. I already asked her and she said it was cool. I figured it would be best to talk in a place where we wouldn't get bugged. So do you think you could ask your folks if you could stay over? I mean, assuming you want to of course."  
  
            Summer swallowed the knot of fear Dee's words had caused. But she knew Dee was right. And if it would help Jenny.  
  
            "Sure. I'll go ask them."  
  
            Summer's parents agreed, albeit a bit reluctantly. But they felt okay knowing it was Aba who would be watching over them.  
  
            "Dee?"  
  
            "Yeah?"  
  
            "It's okay with them."  
  
            "Great! I'll see you at Sarah's then?"  
  
            "Okay. Bye."  
  
            Audrey meanwhile dialed Jenny.  
  
            "Hello?"  
  
            "Jenny? It's me, Audrey."  
  
            "Oh hey. What's up?"  
  
            "Well we need to talk. Especially Summer. She's been, well I think it could really help her to get it all out. And with you being Zach's cousin well.anyway Dee and I were thinking that we could all spend the night tonight at Aba's after the party. I already asked her and she said it was cool with Aba. I figured it would be best to talk in a place where we wouldn't get bugged. So do you think you could ask your folks if you could stay over? I mean, assuming you want to of course."  
  
            Jenny swallowed the knot of fear Audrey's words had caused. But she knew Audrey was right. And if it would help Summer.  
  
            "Sure. I'll go ask them."  
  
            Jenny's parents agreed and Jenny picked up the handset to let Audrey know.  
  
            "Audrey?"  
  
            "Yes?"  
  
            "It's okay with them."  
  
            "Great! I'll see you at Sarah's, okay?"  
  
            "Okay. Bye."

[[[[[]]]]]  
  
            Audrey had no sooner hung up when the phone began to ring.  
  
            "Hello?"  
  
            "Audrey? It's Dee."  
  
            "Jenny's in. What about Summer?"  
  
            "Yep."  
  
            "Okay. Well, I hope this works."  
  
            "Me too. See you tonight?"  
  
            "Yeah. Hey, do you need a ride over?"  
  
            "Sure, that would be great. Thanks."  
  
            "No problem. See you around 8:45?"  
  
            "I'll be ready. Bye."  
  
            "Bye."

[[[[[]]]]]  
  
            Summer arrived at the party with a sense of heightened anticipation. She hadn't talked to Zach since their kiss and felt that tonight she would have to confront him about it.  
  
            She took a moment to appreciate Sarah's house. It was a big two-story white brick structure that was flanked by beautiful landscaping--well-chosen shrubs, bushes, and flowers--on both sides. There were dark red and bright yellow snapdragons, bold orange tiger lilies and breathtaking orchid colored gladioli among others. The overall effect was complimented by concrete stepping stones with stained-glass inlays. These led to the back of the house which featured an enormous deck and a sprawling yard of at least two acres of cool, plush grass. The deck had been decorated with red and yellow Chinese lanterns that swayed gently in the slight breeze. Summer had always loved the look of the cherry-stained wood the deck was made out of. The stepping stones led the way through a number of arched trellises with lovely vines cascading through every nook and cranny and buds that, when opened, sported delicate purple blossoms.  
  
            The focal point of the backyard was the gazebo. Its wood matched the deck and trellises and inside there were benches against every wall. It was currently serving as a makeshift refreshment stand and as she made her way through to it she looked for Zach. She grabbed a drink so she could have something else to do with her hands besides wringing them in nervousness. Summer settled onto one of the benches and pulled her legs up, twisting so she could look out of the opening at the lush rose bushes beneath her and smell the night blooming jasmine.

[[[[[]]]]]

            It was like this that Zach found her. He noticed himself staring but couldn't seem to stop. Even over the din of music she seemed to sense his presence and she suddenly turned, catching Zach off guard. He slowly made his way over to her, feeling his shyness weigh down his every step.  
  
            He gestured to the seat empty space beside her and she smiled and indicated he should sit, moving her legs out of the way to make room. The general noise level was loud enough that Zach had to lean over to say his hello. When he did Summer caught the scent of his aftershave and liked it immediately. As Zach said hello Summer tilted her head to hear him better, causing her hair to brush Zach's cheek. He inhaled the scent of strawberries and decided it was his new favorite food.  
  
            Realizing they couldn't carry on a conversation very well Zach asked if Summer wanted to go someplace quieter. She nodded her consent and they left in search of a place they could talk. But as they passed the dance floor-- an area of the yard whose boundary was created by tiki torches--the current song changed to one of Summer's favorite slow songs. She noticed and stopped walking abruptly to listen for a moment.  
  
            Fortunately Zach hadn't gone on too far ahead before he noticed Summer's absence. Making his way back to her he asked if anything was wrong.  
  
            "No," she answered, smiling. "I just love this song and wanted to hear it for a minute. Sorry, we can go."  
  
            And she moved to go but his voice stopped her.  
  
            "Would you like to dance?"  
  
            Her eyes widened for a moment but she quickly nodded in case he realized what he'd said and wanted to change his mind.  
  
            She took his hand and allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor. Once they got there she was loathe to let go of his hand and instead held it in hers, cradled to her chest.

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Disclaimer: In case this is the first chapter you've stumbled upon I will reiterate for you that I own no rights to the characters below except Sarah. Please do not sue me if that is indeed the superpower you've been blessed with.  
  
Author's note: Hello again everyone! Those of you who continue to stick with me are absolutely the reason I write. I'm going to go back and re- write some earlier stuff.particularly the first dream sequence. No, I'm not taking any Julian out (heaven forbid!). I am just plagued with thoughts of a better way to introduce the concept of their shared dreams. I don't like the way Jenny cries, she's a whiner there and it irritates me. But I digress..


	13. Chapter Thirteen

            After their date Jenny had been awake most of the night, tossing and turning. She couldn't find a comfortable position, due in large part to her brain's high state of alertness. In the form of her conscience it was working overtime, plaguing her with thoughts of Tom that were proving almost impossible to reconcile. After rolling over for possibly the thousandth time of the night Jenny had concluded that her life would be so much easier if she had no feelings for Tom anymore. But that was the main problem. She still had feelings for him. She had even told him she loved him last night, for crying out loud! It's just that she also loved someone else, albeit in a completely different way. With Tom she felt safe. Not that safe was a bad thing, mind you. In light of recent events safe was in fact a highly desirable feeling. It's just that safe was so--well boring. And Jenny was feeling guilty over that little bit of self-confession that had come to her in the wee hours of the morning.  
  
            Before The Games she would never have classified her relationship with Tom as boring. Actually she had never really given much thought to it at all. She had always felt like she was supposed to be with Tom. And until Julian came along she never noticed if Tom felt anything different. But Julian had shown her something she almost wished she had never experienced. And damn his blue eyes to hell if she was ever going to get over it.

            Julian had wanted her. Pushing aside the delicious stream of images that thought brought forth was a Herculean labor to be sure, but once her thoughts were on the right path Jenny had finally crystallized the real difference between Tom and Julian.  
  
            Julian wanted her to be with him. He was willing to do whatever was necessary to make that happen, even walking the worlds for her. No matter what else Jenny had never doubted that he felt that she belonged with him. Unconditionally. She never doubted that he wanted her, and he never tried to deny or hide the feelings she stirred in him. In fact it was just the opposite. He was thrilled in his own response to her touch, and was just as lost in her eyes as she was in his.  
  
            Whereas in Tom's case he simply expected her to be there. And that was it, in a nutshell. It was probably due in large part to the fact that they had paired up so young. With both of their personalities forming alongside their relationship it was a case of their personalities and their relationship being completely meshed. Tom faired a little better than Jenny since he had sports to help define him as more than just Tom-and- Jenny. But until Julian Jenny had never thought about a need to have her own existence outside of Tom-and-Jenny. She had just gone with the flow doing whatever Tom wanted without question for so long. But now they were practically adults and it wasn't so easy to just go with the flow anymore.  
  
            While she hadn't come to a decision regarding what to do about Tom she had come to one regarding Julian. She decided that she wasn't ready to have him exit her life. Maybe someday she was going to move on and find a relationship like the one they could have had but she wanted to be with Julian now. And if her dreams proved to be the only way they could be together well she was going to have to take what she could get. She made a point of telling herself that when she fell asleep the next time she needed to call out to Julian. She wondered briefly what he would say, if he would even come to her seeing as they had decided not to have him visit her anymore for a while and it had been a whole what, 48 hours?  
  
            So it was thoughts of this nature that had tormented Jenny most of the night, with the end result being that she was nodding off while she still had a few hours to wait before getting picked up for Sarah's party. She was ready to go, sitting at her desk with her elbow helping to prop her head up. She just kept thinking she'd open her eyes as soon as she heard the doorbell, but she was asleep before she knew it, her head hitting her arm as she succumbed.

[[[[[]]]]]

            Julian was amusing himself by experiencing one of his favorite dreams. In it Jenny was asleep in her bed when he appeared at the foot of it. He was there to answer her--she's been calling his name out in her sleep. He loved the way her voice sounded in this dream--it was very low and soft, almost like a moan. Incredibly sexy. He calls her name softly and she wakes up to find him there.  
  
            "You rang?" he says with a smile.  
  
            "What?" she denies any knowledge but her blush suggests otherwise.  
  
            "You were calling out my name," he teases, "was there something you needed?"  
  
            "I was dreaming," she begins, then stops abruptly as the dream invades her memory once  
  
more.  
  
            "Of me? I'm flattered. What was this dream about?"  
  
            She shakes her head then ducks her chin to her chest.  
           

            "No way!" her voice comes out a bit muffled and presents Julian with the opportunity he's been looking for.  
  
            "What was that? I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that."  
  
            When she only shakes her head again he climbs onto the bed and starts crawling toward her. When she feels the mattress moving Jenny's head snaps up. Her mouth drops open and she whispers hoarsely:  
  
            "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
            "If you insist on speaking so softly I'm just going to have to put myself in a position where I can hear you, that's all."  
  
            Jenny isn't actually paying attention to his answer, being too busy trying to find a way out. But seeing as this is Julian's dream he doesn't have leaving the bed occur to Jenny as a viable option. While she's distracted he whips his hand out and snakes it around her ankle, pulling her down toward him. She ends up on her back with her face level with his. He takes a moment to enjoy the view. She's wearing a white sports bra and a pair of white and green boxer shorts that have ridden up considerably, showing an edge of lace underneath.  
  
            "Where were we? Ah yes. That dream of yours. What was it about again?" At her mute stare he continues.  
  
            "Not talking, hmm? Well I have ways of making you talk."  
  
            Then he bends his head toward her lips, intent on having her cry out his name many times more before he's through. Just as his lips brush hers he feels a pull from the real Jenny.

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AN: I know people are waiting for this chapter so I'm just getting on with it today! All I'm saying is thanks for reading and please note that the rating for this has been moved to "R." I'm playing it safe, the only way to play.  
  
Disclaimer: Just the standard "I own nothing, please don't sue me!"


	14. Chapter Fourteen

"She must be asleep."

Without another thought he vanished to watch over her in her dream state. He found her outside her house, sitting on the pavement drawing with sidewalk chalk. She was writing his name over and over in different colors and styles. He decided to just watch her unless she indicated that she needed him.  
  
"Julian I need you."  
  
_So much for the shadows,_ he thought wryly.  
  
"Miss me already?" he asked as he appeared in front of her.  
  
Startled, she fell backwards. She accepted the hand that was offered to her and stood up, only to find herself hauled unceremoniously up against his chest, his arms tight around her.  
  
"So what do you need, Jenny? Dare I hope it's the same thing I do?" he asked, his lips nibbling just below her ear.  
  
"Mmmm," was all she could get out. The she unfortunately remembered their previous conversation and why she had called him and she tensed up. Julian noticed her shift in attitude and sighed as he straightened up, still keeping her within the circle of his arms.  
  
"Sorry. I was in the middle of a rather pleasant dream when I felt you here and I'm afraid I brought some of it here." 

"What sort of dream?" she asked, distracted in spite of herself. Julian shook his head and smiled.  
  
"If we go there then we won't get to the reason for your call and it seems like you want to talk. Shall we?" he said, indicating the pavement. As soon as they were settled Jenny turned to him.  
  
"So why did you answer when I called?"  
  
He looked confused.  
  
"Was I not supposed to? Jenny I will always answer when you call."  
  
"I just thought you wanted to take a break from our nocturnal visitations."  
  
He hung his head for a moment. When he looked at her his eyes were serious.  
  
"You're right. I should not have made my presence known unless you thought you were in danger. Knight-in-shining-armor and all that. I'm going to leave."  
  
And with that he stood. Jenny stood as well and placed a restraining hand on his arm.  
  
"Hold on a second! I wasn't finished!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It's just that I think it's too soon."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"Too soon to say au revoir to our dreams together. I don't want to leave you."  
  
She held up her hand to stop his protest.  
  
"I know, I know. I need to live and all that jazz. And I understand that, I really do. I am just not ready yet, okay? Could you give me some more time?"  
  
"It doesn't work that way. The sooner we stop seeing each other the easier it gets, not vice versa."  
  
She let out a laugh.  
  
"Easy? It will never be easy. The bottom line is that I want you in my life, and if the only way that can happen is through our dreams well, then, so be it. I'm willing to risk it if you are."  
  
"Jenny," he began then stopped as if reconsidering his words. Finally he let out a breath.  
  
"You know I can deny you nothing. I know I'm being selfish but I admit I want you any way I can have you."  
  
"Good. It's settled then." Jenny said, letting out the breath she had been holding. He still looked a bit unsure so she hastened to reassure him. She moved so she stood in front of him and looked him in the eyes.  
  
"I know I'm the one being selfish here. I already know that I can't be with you in the real world. I just need to pretend this," she gestured around them, "is the real world for a while longer, okay?"  
  
"All right. But if it becomes too much then I'm going."  
  
This time he held up a hand to silence her protests.  
  
"No I'm serious. If you're not living your life like you should then all bets are off. You being happy is everything to me. I won't interfere."  
  
"Fine. I'll make daily status reports on my life if that will keep you satisfied." 

He grinned and leaned down to her until his lips were a breath away. 

"It will take more than that to keep me satisfied." He laughed as she blushed and looked completely mortified. She sought a way to distract him. 

"So you were going to tell me about your dream?" 

"I don't recall saying that," Julian replied, still laughing. She waved her hand dismissively. 

"Semantics. So will you tell me about it?"  
  
"No."

She blinked.

"No?"  
  
"No, I won't tell you. But I'll show you, if you think you're up for it?"  
  
Something about the way he was looking at her made butterflies dance in her stomach.  
  
"All right."  
  
She put her hand in his, hesitantly. The scenery started to shift and she felt off balance. She fell back with a cry and shut her eyes, waiting for impact.

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AN: At the end of today's installment.  
  
Disclaimer: If you don't know what isn't mine by now I think it's time someone took a trip to the guidance counselors.  
  
AN: So I was having problems figuring out a way to get Jenny and Julian to recover from the temporary insanity they were in. I mean, not see each other? Let's be serious people, it's not going to happen. Not in a story I write, anyway.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

When it happened it came in the form of a soft bounce. She opened her eyes to find Julian's face mere inches away.  
  
"What in the? Where are we?"  
  
"In your bedroom."  
  
Casting a glance around confirmed that it was with the small, make that very large, exception of her bed. It was not her bed. Her bed was neither this soft nor this huge. It was big enough for a couple of...wait a minute! Her bed? She was in bed? With Julian?  
  
He was enjoying her reactions immensely. He merely rolled onto his back when she gave a shriek and scuttled out of arm's reach, her back up against the head board.  
  
"What are we doing here?"  
  
"Visiting my dream. One of my favorites, actually."  
  
"You dream about being in bed with me?" She covered her face with her hands as she realized that she had, indeed, said that out loud. "Oh lord."

His smile was the only indication he gave that he had heard her. 

"This is not exactly how it goes, usually. For one thing I don't find myself wearing this ensemble when I'm here."  
  
"I'll bet," Jenny retorted, peeking through her fingers to see what he was talking about.

He was wearing a navy satin pajama set. The shirt only had the middle two buttons done up so she could easily see his chest and waist. She went back to hiding behind her hands, trying to conceal the heat that rose in her cheeks from his appearance. He looked like temptation personified.  
  
"You have marvelous taste. I wonder why there are two buttons still buttoned?" He looked at her as if he were merely curious, just a random topic to pass the time. She answered without looking at him and definitely without thinking.  
  
"Probably so I could finish undressing you."  
  
When Julian didn't answer immediately save for a strange choking sound Jenny fervently wished for a hole in the ground to appear and swallow her whole.  
  
"I can't believe I just said that." She whispered, more to herself than to Julian. She dropped her hands long enough to grab a pillow and slam her face into it. When a few more seconds had passed she stole a glance at where Julian had been laying, hoping against hope that he had vanished. He had his eyes closed and he was mouthing something.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked, her embarrassment momentarily forgotten.  
  
"Counting to one hundred."  
  
Did she hear him right? He was _counting?_  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm hoping it'll help."  
  
"Help? Help what?"  
  
"Help it pass."  
  
What was he talking about? Was he sick? Jenny felt very confused.  
  
"Continuing on with my stupid line of questioning help what pass, exactly? I mean besides time." She smiled at her own wit.  
  
He cocked his head at her and opened his eyes.  
  
"You really don't know?"  
  
Now Jenny was moving from confused into annoyed.  
  
"Does it **look** like I know?"  
  
He leaned up on his elbow and looked at her.  
  
"What you said…"  
  
"Oh lord," she interrupted, feeling every bit as foolish as she had when she had made the thoughtless comment.  
  
"No, Jenny, you don't understand," he seemed to be searching for the right words, "It's just, god, sometimes you make me feel like all I can breathe is you. And imagining that you would ever want me, feel any semblance of the desire I feel for you, it's one of my favorite dreams. But to hear you say something like that, and then to get the immediate visual, I feel like I'm drowning in my desire for you. I'm counting to get my heart back to normal and to keep my hands to myself a little bit longer."  
  
Wow.

For a moment no other thoughts could penetrate the haze his words created in her mind. And as a thought came to her she realized that she was probably going to die as a result of being too curious. But she felt like she'd opened Pandora's box and there was no going back, no matter what. She debated a few seconds more, contemplating how wicked the thought she was considering voicing was.  
  
"How does this dream usually go?" she asked, brave enough to say it but not to look at him while doing so.  
  
He contemplated her for a moment, wondering what she would think if he really did tell her the truth about the dream. Would she wake herself up with fright? But then that part of him that was more devil than man reminded him just what his dream was, and how much better it would be with her as a participant. And that part was the one that chose to go ahead and tell, if not show her, just what he wanted to do with her.

"Well," he voice came out a little husky, a natural side effect of keeping his desire in check, "I appear because you've been calling my name out in your sleep."  
  
"I have?" she lifted her head to watch him as he spoke.  
  
"Mm-hmm. And you deny calling me, you insist you were dreaming."  
  
"Let me guess. You don't buy it," she said, smiling.  
  
"On the contrary. I ask you what you were dreaming about and you blush and refuse to answer."  
  
"I'm sure," she stated, rolling her eyes a little.  
  
"But the way you're speaking I can't really hear you from where I am so I move closer."  
  
"Naturally."  
  
"Now then for some reason you decide you want to move farther away from me."  
  
"I can't imagine why," Jenny said, her tone heavy with sarcasm.  
  
"But I don't let you go anywhere."  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" When he took a moment too long to speak Jenny found herself wanting to know the next part.  
  
"So then what?" she was caught up in the story.  
  
It was of course the moment Julian had counted on. With a sense of deja-vu he leaned up and over and grasped both of her ankles, yanking her down onto her back. Caught off guard Jenny threw the pillow she had been holding over her head and found herself pinned by Julian's arms on either side of her.

"And then I see how quickly I can get you to do it again."  
  
He lowered his head but her question stopped his descent.  
  
"Do what?"  
  
He gave her a wolf-hungry smile.  
  
"Call out my name."  
  
"Oh Julian," was all she was able to get out before he crushed her lips with his own.  
  
Jenny knew she had a lot of growing up still left to do but she never imagined she would ever feel a desire as potent as this coursing through her veins.  
  
"God what must this be like for real?" she thought to herself before surrendering to her impulses. She reached up and slipped her hands inside Julian's shirt, splaying her fingers over the taut muscles of his stomach. His quick intake of breath caused her to stop her exploration and open her eyes.  
  
"No, don't stop, please," Julain said as he moved to her jawline, "you can touch me anywhere you want."

She smiled at that. Imagine Julian practically begging for her touch. It gave her a heady sense of power and twisted her insides into a knot. She obliged him and moved her hands up to his ribcage. She undid the first of his last two buttons and was about to get to the last when he suddenly reached between them and yanked the shirt open, snapping the button off. Jenny giggled.  
  
"A little impatient, are we?"  
  
"I need your hands on me. God I think I'm becoming addicted to your touch."  
  
She moved her mouth to his neck and kissed him, delighting in the way he growled when she did so. She slipped her arms around him and gently raked her nails on his shoulder blades as she nibbled just below his ear.  
  
"Jenny," her name was a moan and she found she rather liked taking the lead. Her moment was short-lived, however.  
  
"Enough!" Julian cried out in a voice hoarse with desire. When Jenny looked at him he captured her lips in a kiss that left her clinging to him.  
  
"Now it's my turn," Julian informed her, locking his gaze onto hers.  
  
"Wh-what do you mean?" Jenny replied, more than a little breathless.  
  
"Turnabout's fair play. You've had your fun, now it's my turn. I'm going to make you burn for me, Jenny."  
  
"Jenny?" a faint voice penetrated the dreamscape.  
  
Julian let out a shout of frustration as he rolled away from Jenny.  
  
"What is it?" Jenny asked,  
  
"It's time to wake up, Jenny," Julian answered, "someone's calling you."  
  
And just like that she woke up. But she was groggy and a little disoriented, not to mention more than a little worked up. So when she saw her room and the figure in her doorway she thought for a moment she was still asleep.  
  
"Julian?" she called out in a low voice, laced with no small amount of hope.  
  
"No it's me, Tom." 

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Disclaimer: So I've moved the AN to the bottom, wanting to get on with the story ASAP. I take comfort in the knowledge that while I own nothing in the way of the LJS universe, chances are neither do you. I feel a little closer to you now. (sniff)  
  
AN: So am I a bad, bad girl? I hope not. Is it hot in here, or is it just Julian? Whoo! Have to stop there and recollect the puddle of mushy goo that is my brain. Anyway.I need help! Specifically, I need feedback to let me know if I've turned up the heat too much or not enough. Thanks for reading, even if you don't review I still really appreciate it.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

            "Damn." Jenny and Tom thought simultaneously.  
  
            Jenny knew she had to try to play it off, and quickly, for to do otherwise would cause Tom more pain than she was willing to inflict.  
  
            "Hmmm? What's going on?" she hastily pulled herself out of the chair and into a standing position, throwing in an arm stretch for good measure. "Oh my gosh! Did I fall asleep? What time is it?"  
  
            She stared at Tom, willing him to buy her act while at the same time waiting for an answer. He had been staring at Jenny, watching her features with a look of open speculation. He finally noticed that she had stopped speaking and that she seemed to be waiting for him to say something. Belatedly he remembered what she had asked and looked down at his watch.  
  
            "It's 8:35."  
  
            "Already? Wow. Well let's get going then, shall we? We don't want everyone wondering where we are."  
  
            And with that she breezed out the door leaving Tom with no choice but to follow. Thankfully he seemed to be willing to let the matter drop without comment and to follow her out to the car without incident. Of course that was based on appearances, which in this case Jenny was all too willing to judge on.

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            In actuality he was stunned, and more than a little unnerved to hear his girlfriend call out another guy's name. It could've been worse though, he tried to tell himself, it could have happened during--no! No way! Tom slammed his mental brakes down hard and fast on that one. For one thing, it's not as if they'd ever done anything like that. And it's not that Tom never thought about it, either. It's just he always thought he'd have time to work on that aspect of their relationship later. He had been listening to people tell him that he and Jenny were going to be together forever for so long that he'd accepted it as truth without question. And since they were going to be together forever he had plenty of time now to devote to other things--like himself. He always thought Jenny would be there.  
  
            Not that he was completely dense--he knew how other guys looked at Jenny, even if she seemed unaware. But Tom had always been there to make sure every guy knew who Jenny was with. He thought he had his bases pretty well covered. He never even considered that she would like anyone else. He heard the girls at school tell Jenny repeatedly how lucky she was to have Tom, what a great guy he was, how envious they all were. He always agreed with their assertions and he figured before all this that Jenny did too.  
  
            He had been working at planning their future life for some time now. He had lettered in three sports and was so good at athletics that scouts from some of the biggest schools in the country were keeping in touch with him regularly. Once he decided on a school he was going to let Jenny know so she could go with him. Then he would major in sports administration or journalism--something that would lend itself well to a background in athletics. Of course he wouldn't have a chance to use his degree for at least fifteen years--that's the minimum amount of time he expected to be able to make a lucrative salary as a professional athlete. And Jenny? She would be at every game cheering him on like always. They would get married after college, preferably during the off- season after his first year as a pro. Their honeymoon would be incredible--an extended version of the wedding night. Speaking of the wedding night--_"Wait a second!__ Those are the same types of thoughts you were trying to avoid earlier. Stop the madness!"_ he rebuked himself silently.  
  
            But the madness wouldn't stop. His mind kept producing one image over and over again. It was this image that made Tom doubt the future existence of a wedding night with Jenny for the first time in his whole life. Playing over and over again in a continuous loop was the memory of Jenny kissing Julian at the end of the first Game.  
  
            When Julian had said the deal needed to be sealed with a kiss Tom had expected Jenny to protest, try to twist her head and offer her cheek as a substitute, something like that. But instead she had turned her face up without hesitation and offered her lips freely. Tom's brain kept replaying the length of the kiss in agonizing slow motion. He had noticed that it was Julian who had ended the kiss.  
  
            His mind had the look in Jenny's eyes afterwards burned into its core. While her lips formed a soft pout of wonder her eyes held an unguarded look of want. Jenny had responded to Julian in a way she had never responded to Tom. And that irked Tom to no end.  
  
            Guys in the locker room were prone to talking about their near-conquests all the time. They told stories of how hot some girl made them and that the need to touch them was all they could think about to the point of finding themselves in pain from it. There were tales of guys who were so far gone it was all they could do to be content with simply looking at a certain girl. More often than not they longed to drag her into the nearest closet for a demonstration of their lustful urges. And of course all the stories stated that the girl felt the same way, usually in fact she was feeling a desire far more potent. There was talk about the moans and the whimpered pleas uttered in moments of passion, and of looks in a girl's eyes that heightened the level of excitement more efficiently than words.  
  
            While Tom listened to the talk he had always simply assumed he and Jenny had a purer kind of love than that of the locker room. He thought he and Jenny were above all that nonsense, that what he felt when he kissed her was real, and better than all the talk he heard. Of course he believed that it was just that--talk. He never imagined he was missing out on anything. He assumed that their wedding night would be an expression of their perfect love, unlike anything he had heard about or seen in the media. He never thought he was supposed to be practically begging for Jenny to go farther and farther in physical demonstrations of love, that he should have intimate acts be pretty much at the forefront of his mind. He didn't believe that he would never feel complete until it happened and that once it did he would feel compelled to always be on the lookout for a way to guarantee a repeat performance.  
  
            Tom had never bought in to any of it until he saw Jenny and Julian kiss.  
  
            At first his brain refused to accept the picture of Jenny kissing someone else as real. That was hard enough, but for his brain to grasp that Jenny enjoyed it was another matter entirely. From the moment she opened her eyes and let Tom see the emotion there he had been in the grips of a jealousy which frightened him with its intensity. He found a small sliver of comfort in the knowledge that Jenny had been as caught off guard as he was--otherwise she surely would have kept her expression neutral instead of displaying her emotions for everyone to see.  
  
            He had wanted to kiss Jenny in the car before the second Game to see if he could feel something new and intense. He wanted to see a look in Jenny's eyes that suggested she'd be all right to test the boundaries of their physical relationship. He didn't know how to make it happen and so he had just leaned in and willed it to be so. But then that song came on and he knew she was thinking of Julian by the look in her eyes and he broke off the attempt. He left that incident knowing another truth as well--passion, chemistry, whatever name you put to it, it just happens. There are no instructions to follow no set of steps to take, and only one rule to remember--it either happens between two people or it doesn't.  
  
            And sometimes when it happened it was without rhyme or reason. Tom knew logically that he and Jenny were ideal candidates--they were planning on spending their lives together after all--yet for some reason when Fate stepped in to introduce passion it was in the form of Julian, not Tom.  
  
            So where did that leave Tom? He and Jenny had both found out their relationship was lacking at the same time. But Julian was out of the picture now and Tom and Jenny were left to--what? Did they want to try to patch things up? Hope that Jenny would someday learn to respond to Tom the way she did to Julian? Or did they break up and pray they both found someone else? Someone they never even knew they were looking for?

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            Thankfully these thoughts were keeping Tom occupied on the drive over to the party so Jenny could get lost in her own world. She never knew she was living in a world without passion--never understood what she'd been missing until Julian took her into his arms. He had told her she was missing something and asked if he could show her what it was and he did just that.  
  
            Her heartbeat was still racing from this latest dream. There was a very small, almost miniscule part of her that was glad she had woken up when she did. That part of her was scared of where things had been heading. If she hadn't woken up it would have been up to Julian to stop things from going too far--Jenny became pretty much mindless when his lips touched hers. And what exactly was too far?  
  
            With Tom Jenny had never needed to establish any kind of boundaries--he had done that for her. And she never felt a need, or more precisely a desire, to push those limits. There was a dire need for boundaries, and fast, preferably before the next dream. Jenny had a nagging thought that continued to permeate her consciousness--she was close to being a slave for passion in her dreams, but would she ever find anything to rival it in her waking hours? If so with who? Should she try to repair the damage to her relationship with Tom and hope that someday she could feel these feelings for him? Or should she and Tom break up and try to find new love with new people?  
  
            As they pulled into the driveway Jenny put the thoughts from her mind with a force of will. She was here to have fun and not to plague herself with distressing thoughts. She didn't find it too hard to focus on something else for the night. She knew she would have to return to the painful subject soon because of one indisputable fact--in a dream-state or not--with Julian the feelings were so intense they couldn't be anything but real.

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AN: I hope that someone is still reading this besides me. If you are out there let me know! Until next time.

Disclaimer: I know I own nothing besides the plot. I'm not kidding myself.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Disclaimer: For there to be a dis-claimer wouldn't I need to be claiming something in the first place? Okay, I claim to own nothing in the LJS universe. How's that? **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** ****************************************************************  
  
As they got out of the car Jenny hoped that she would be able to get away without being confronted about her earlier mistake, or anything else for that matter.  
  
"Jenny, we need to talk."  
  
No such luck. But she decided she wasn't ready.  
  
"I know Tom, I really do. It's just, not now, okay? We'll both get upset and this isn't the time or the place for us to get into anything. We both need to have a night of just hanging out with the gang. We'll know soon enough if anything can be normal again, all right? So let's just walk out there. I'll go find Sarah and talk to her and you can go find someone to hang with. Then in a little bit we'll hook up with the gang and later if you want to we can go and talk. How does that sound?"  
  
She was right and he knew it. It wasn't like he was dying to get into a fight either. So with a sigh he conceded and decided to let them have this night.  
  
"Fine."  
  
But she didn't move, clearly not buying his answer and not liking his attitude. She was so stubborn!  
  
"It's fine, all right? I could use some fun, you could use some fun, and we all could use a good party. So let's forget about it for now. Go find Sarah and I will catch up with you later, okay?"  
  
She peered at him, judging his sincerity. Apparently satisfied she nodded and left, going into the back of the house and looking for the party's hostess.  
  
Tom hung back for a moment, unsure of just whom he should be looking for. As he looked out over the throng of people he began to move towards everyone, stopping when someone caught his eye.  
  
It was Dee, thank god. She looked terrific, not that that was something new for her, she usually looked good. He continued to look at her, trying to decide what it was that he was noticing.  
  
Dee surveyed the scene around her with a mixture of amusement and disdain. While it wasn't an unheard of thing for her to be at a party it was unusual for her to show up with Audrey and Michael. While they meandered through the crowd she couldn't help but feel that perhaps she and Audrey were wrong to interfere. It was hard enough to try to get everything back to normal as it was; maybe this was going to do more harm than good.  
  
She was distracted from her thoughts by the feeling of eyes watching her. Stooping in her tracks she scanned the mass of people and tried to locate the source. When she did she was surprised to find herself the object of one of Tom's intense stares. Pleased she would have someone else to talk to while they waited for the rest of the gang to show up she made her way over to him, stopping to pick up a couple of drinks.  
  
She was surprised to notice Jenny, well actually to notice her absence from Tom's side. Dee tried to be discreet and look for her as she walked. She spotted Jenny talking to Sarah and smiled, thinking how Jenny was probably thanking her for the party already.  
  
He didn't ease up as she approached and it left her a bit flustered. Deciding he was perhaps still a little miffed with her for her comments earlier in the week Dee tried to get him to at least crack a smile. Turning to place the drinks down at the table behind her she commented:  
  
"Hey buddy take a picture already."  
  
Tom was aware that he had been caught staring but something made him notice her and he had been so intent on discovering what that he didn't care what she thought of his constant gaze. Her comment finally penetrated and he reacted, belatedly.  
  
He did manage a smile and drop his gaze, if only for a moment. He then realized what it was that he had noticed. It was her attitude, or lack thereof. Usually Dee carried herself in such a way that people were intimidated. She suddenly appeared approachable. He found himself at a loss as to what to say to her so he decided to act on instinct. As he looked back up he extended his hand to her. She looked at it dumbfounded, which caused him to laugh.  
  
"Care to dance while we wait?"  
  
Dance? She and Tom? It's not like she had never danced before but she and Tom had never ever danced together. Realizing he was still waiting she shook her head to clear it and looked at him, reaching her hand out to him as she did. He was smirking, clearly amused at her deer-in-the-headlights expression.  
  
"Glad to see I pass muster," he cracked as he led her to the dance area.  
  
"Well I had to decide if the possibility of catching cooties was worth the risk," she responded, glad her wit hadn't abandoned her.  
  
What was wrong with her? What had just happened? The way she just blanked out there for a moment. It must be the stress of recent events she reasoned.  
  
"So aren't you worried Jenny will be jealous when she sees us dancing together?" she teased, becoming serious when she saw his expression. "Oh no, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," was the automatic reply. When he looked at her he saw that she didn't believe him and so with a sigh he expanded upon his terse answer, "I'm not sure anything is really wrong. It's just that I'm not sure I can make things right with me and Jenny."  
  
"You mean have things back to the way they used to be."  
  
"Yes. But I'm starting to believe that may never be possible."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So what?" Tom replied, clearly confused.  
  
"So what can you do?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Dee rolled her eyes. Why were men so dense? Seriously.  
  
"Oh lord." She said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"If things can't be like they were then you have two choices: you can be friends with Jenny or you can choose to be totally absent from her life, that's what."  
  
His eyes widened at her tone. She noticed and winced. She even blushed a little as she turned her head away.  
  
"Sorry. It's just that I see it differently and I guess I forget about all the emotion wrapped up in it for you."  
  
They continued to dance in silence for a little while longer, each consumed with their own thoughts.  
  
"You don't think Jenny and I can be together anymore?"  
  
Was this one of those trick questions? Dee wondered. Did he want her to lie to him and say that Jenny would soon put everything behind her and be willing to go back to the way things were? Or did he really want her opinion? Well he asked for it, she reasoned.  
  
"Honestly?"  
  
It was unlike Dee to ask before delivering her opinion but she felt this was fragile ground so she waited for his nod before she spoke. Even then she took a deep breath to steel herself against his reaction.  
  
"No, I don't. I told you before that everything we've been through has changed us, and to be honest it's changed Jenny more than anyone."  
  
When he failed to respond immediately she kept talking.  
  
"I am sorry about it though. I don't understand everything but I am sorry that you guys are hurting."  
  
After that she shut her mouth, figuring she had been on the verge of babbling and that was unacceptable, circumstances be damned. She let Tom lead her and concentrated on the music. He really was a good dancer, something she had suspected from seeing him with Jenny. She liked the way he held her. It wasn't too tight like some of the guys she had been with before. They had believed dancing was an excuse to try to feel as much of her as was possible. Tom held her close enough for her to smell his aftershave but not so close as to make her feel uncomfortable. His voice jolted her out of her thoughts.  
  
"You're right. I guess I just need some time to adjust to it."  
  
"We all need time."  
  
**************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** ****************************************************************  
  
Author's Note: Sorry about the delay, some bad stuff happened in the past month and I have just now felt like writing again. Okay, on with the thank you portion! I will check you later!  
  
Tracie: I'm trying not to keep you hanging! Thanks for letting me know you're there!  
  
Zabella: Poor Tom, he does sort of sound unhealthy, doesn't he? Well I'm not a true hater so I'm trying to make him an okay guy.  
  
angel of fire: Yes, Tom's entrance in the last chapter is a bit unfortunate. Sorry. Thanks for the compliment!  
  
Taraeldaiel: First of all I dig your name. Very cool. Thanks for writing and I'll try to post more often!  
  
Gabrielle: Thanks for saying you're enjoying the story! I can relate to the creative review quandary for sure!  
  
IceAngel: Thanks so much for your kind words! I really appreciate you!  
  
Amail: Thank you. I'm glad you like the direction the characters are going. I think you'll be pleased with the ending (whenever it appears!)  
  
melissarxy1: You are so sweet! I felt so good after getting your review! Thanks!  
  
cotys child: Shibby! That's a new one for me! Your review was super and very nice to receive! Thank you! Laurina: Sorry that this chapter is devoid of J&J. I'll make it up to you! Thanks for your review!  
  
Fin: I loved your review! Your idea is a great one! I can't give away what will happen of course but I think your idea would work well! Thanks so much for the long review and for your compliments! They really helped me get this part out!  
  
arc-en-ciel: I am with you. I adore Julian. Sorry he wasn't in this part but he will return, and soon! Thanks for writing! Anonymous: I'm not sure Jenny will tell Tom to get lost (at least not in those words) but she will definitely have some more encounters with our favorite Shadowman! Thanks for writing!  
  
Zabella: Hello again! Sorry I had Tom show up but I'm not sure the censors would have appreciated where I was going with the story. Thanks for reviewing again!  
  
Maroonlover: I know all the Julian lovers want Tom to meet an unfortunate end but with Julian only existing in her dreams it's hard for Jenny. Don't worry; I'm going to have Julian give her plenty of encouragement. Thanks for writing!  
  
Ginny Weasley: Well what did you think? I'm sort of going where you thought I should. Thank you for taking the time to write! I appreciate it!  
  
lil'ol'me: Sorry I waited to update. Yes, I could just spend hours thinking of scenes with Julian but I would never leave my house and that would be unhealthy. I love that you call Tom deadweight. That cracks me up. Anyhoo I promise Julian will make an appearance soon. Thank you for the awesome review! It was the bright spot of my day!  
  
Killashandra: I think I can do better than the publishers of Strange Fate but we'll see. Thank you so much for taking the time to write.  
  
cotys child: For someone who claimed to not know what to write in a review you left me a pretty cool one! Thank you for doing it. I too like Zach and Summer.  
  
Kristen Michelle: Girl you need to get more of your story out so I can write about it! Yes I have read the Secret Circle. Maybe once this one is done I can revisit that series and come up with something. Your words are so important to me, you know that! Thank you for staying with the story!  
  
J: I hear you on the formatting front. Someday I will figure it out! Thanks! 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Author's Note: Yes this is a pitifully short chapter. I am working on getting the rest of it written. Thanks for reading!  
  
Disclaimer: Unless that old gypsy woman's premonition came true I own nothing.  
  
Once she was finished greeting Sarah Jenny made her way to the railing of the deck and paused, seeking her friends out in the mass of people below her. She was momentarily taken aback when she noticed Zach and Summer swaying in each other's arms but they looked so content that Jenny couldn't help but smile.  
  
Her grin turned into shock when she spied Dee and Tom dancing together, however. They had never danced together before, and she wondered what made them decide to now. From her vantage point it looked like they were having a serious conversation.  
  
Studying Tom and Dee she couldn't help but notice what a striking couple they made. That thought brought up some feelings that Jenny was a little concerned with. It wasn't that she thought there was anything going on between Tom and Dee but even thinking it for a moment suddenly brought home the reality of the situation Jenny currently found herself in.  
  
She had to consider that if she and Tom were no longer together it meant he was going to find someone else. Was she ready for that?  
  
Jenny found herself clenching her stomach muscles tightly enough that they hurt. Oh dear. Now was definitely not the time to be getting cold feet. Slowly she relaxed the death grip she had on the railing and took a long, deep breath. She realized anyone watching her would realize something was bothering her. Now that she thought about it she sort of did have the feeling that eyes were upon her but just as quickly dismissed that thought. After all she'd been through she had a healthy sense of paranoia, that's all, she reasoned.  
  
Still a bit unnerved she made her way to a bathroom to get a grip. Sinking down on the floor with her back against the locked door she closed her eyes and thought of the only thing that made sense anymore-Julian.  
  
Everything was going to be okay because she had him in her life, she reminded herself. Of course sitting there with her eyes closed for too long was bound to lead to nap time. And that wasn't a bad thing. In fact it sounded downright tempting. All Jenny had to do was remember how her sleep had been interrupted earlier, how tired she was right now, and focus on that feeling. She felt her eyelids becoming even heavier; her limbs had started to go pleasantly numb. Just a few more minutes and-  
  
Thump!  
  
A loud knock startled Jenny. The ensuing adrenaline rush from the fright was enough to effectively banish all traces of the exhaustion she was clinging to a moment ago.  
  
She sighed as she yelled out that she was coming. Taking a quick critical glance in the mirror she knew it would be a while before she could indulge in dreams of Julian. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Author's note: Sorry it's been so long and that I uploaded this without formatting at first. Hopefully it looks okay. Disclaimer: I officially disclaim everything.  
  
Summer and Zach finished their dance and both were reluctant to see it end. They left the dance floor and made their way to some patio furniture that was arranged under the deck. Sitting across from each other they spent the first minute just struggling to make and maintain eye contact. That soon turned into nervous smiles back and forth. Finally they both laughed.  
  
"We're being silly," Summer said, "Why is this so hard?"  
  
"I don't know," Zach replied, "perhaps it has something to do with us pretty much never talking before now."  
  
His dry wit caused Summer to smile. She decided to tease him a little.  
  
"You think? No, couldn't be that. That would actually make sense."  
  
Then she sobered a little.  
  
"So how do we do this?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Well we could start by having you tell me why you kissed me the other day."  
  
"True, we could."  
  
When it became apparent he wasn't going to answer Summer laughed.  
  
"Well? Come on, Zach. Out with it."  
  
Zach rubbed the back of his neck and twisted his head, avoiding her eyes. "I kissed you because I wanted to, okay? Once I got the idea into my head I couldn't get it out and I knew I wasn't going to be able to let it go until I did something about it."  
  
Summer sat in silence, basking in the warm glow his words had given her. Her happiness was briefly dimmed when Zach turned the tables on her.  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"What about me?"  
  
Now it was Zach's turn to tease Summer.  
  
"Oh come on now Summer, don't be shy. Tell me why you kissed me."  
  
"I don't recall kissing you. Are you sure you have the right girl?"  
  
His eyes grew serious and Summer put her hand to the base of her neck and leaned forward slightly, afraid she had hurt his feelings. She was slightly mystified when he reached forward and took her other hand and held it gently.  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
She tilted her head and looked at him quizzically, unsure for a moment what he was referring to. Then when it hit her she did the only logical thing she could do-she kissed him. If he was surprised he didn't show it. When he pulled back she opened her eyes and said,  
  
"I kissed you because from the moment you held my hand I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss you. And I didn't know how I was ever going to get the chance. Lucky for me you're a take-charge kind of guy."  
  
Using the hand he still held he pulled her onto his lap. "Yeah, and lucky for me you're the kind of girl who digs a take-charge kind of guy like me."  
  
So Zach and Summer came to the conclusion that they didn't really need to say anything more than that. They were content to snuggle on the patio until the rest of the gang came to find them.  
  
Michael was enjoying the rare chance to have Audrey all to himself on the dance floor. As he looked at her preoccupied expression he had to concede that he only had her physically to himself. It was obvious something else was claiming her thoughts. He sighed loudly, trying without success to claim her attention. Finally she turned to face him after the third sigh.  
  
"What is it, Michael?"  
  
"That's what I'd like to know. What's with you tonight?"  
  
"Nothing," Audrey replied, although she refused to meet his eyes.  
  
"Don't tell me 'nothing', Audrey. I want to know what's bothering you."  
  
She debated not telling him but the set look on his face convinced her that Michael was not going to let the matter drop.  
  
"Oh all right. It's just that I'm having second thoughts about confronting Jenny tonight and I don't like second-guessing myself."  
  
"Why do you think you are?"  
  
Audrey considered the question for a moment.  
  
"Well, I guess it's because I want her to open up on her own, not because she feels forced to."  
  
"So, there's your solution. Give her time to do it on her own. What's the rush, anyway?"  
  
"Aside from my own burning curiosity to know what's going on with her? Nothing I can think of."  
  
Michael laughed and pulled Audrey closer. She laid her head on his shoulder and smiled, enjoying the sound of his amusement. As they danced she thought about Michael's suggestion to just let everything go for a while longer, give Jenny some time to open up on her own. She decided to ask Dee what she thought. She lifted her head and looked around for her, and then abruptly stopped dancing when she saw her dancing with Tom. Michael was about to tease her about her lack of dancing prowess when he too noticed Tom and Dee together. As they stared at their friends Audrey turned to Michael.  
  
"It looks like Jenny will get that time after all. Something much more interesting needs to be discussed tonight." 


	20. Chapter Twenty

Author's Note: I know it's hard to believe I have updated at all, let alone 2.5 chapters! I'm going to go bask in the pride I feel. Disclaimer: Unless I see the rights up on eBay sometime there's no chance I own them.  
  
Dee felt eyes watching her and turned to witness Audrey and Michael's open speculation. She groaned aloud which caused Tom to look at her strangely.  
  
"What is it?" he asked.  
  
She pointed and he saw Michael and Audrey and waved to them. Then he noticed the way Audrey was looking back at him. For some reason it made him distinctly nervous. Not taking his eyes off of her he leaned towards Dee and whispered,  
  
"Why is she looking at me like that?"  
  
Dee laughed at the expression on Tom's face.  
  
"That's the look she gets when she smells gossip."  
  
"So why is she giving it to me?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious?"  
  
"No. Should it be?"  
  
"It's because you're dancing with me."  
  
Tom turned his full attention to Dee. He waited for her to continue or for her meaning to become clear to him. When neither revelation was forthcoming he questioned her again.  
  
"And I ask again, why is she giving it to me? So what if we're dancing together?"  
  
Dee made a mental note to repay Audrey someday for this current situation.  
  
"Well," she began slowly, "I suppose it's because she knows we've never danced together before and she's wondering what's up."  
  
"Are you serious?" he asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Girls are so strange." Tom said.  
  
Dee laughed and decided to enjoy herself, knowing full well what fate awaited her when Audrey cornered her later.  
  
Jenny made her way to the crowd in time for a dance song. She moved in time to the music, letting all her stress melt away with the beat. The next few hours were spent dancing, chatting and reconnecting. The rest of the party passed without further incident, until it was time to go.  
  
As the gang got ready to go they called out goodbyes to Sarah and arranged to meet at Aba's house. When they made their way to their cars it was with no small amount of shock that they discovered one of Tom's tires was flat. Upon examining the tire it was concluded that it had been slashed. "But who would do it?" Michael asked.  
  
"Probably just some kids out causing trouble," Audrey responded.  
  
"Yeah, most likely that's all it is." Tom agreed although he didn't look entirely convinced.  
  
"Well, do we have enough room to get us all to Aba's in one trip or do we need to make a second trip?" Summer asked.  
  
"I think we do," Zach answered, "but we need to let Sarah know that we'll be leaving Tom's car here overnight."  
  
"Plus your folks need to know what happened," Jenny added.  
  
"And I should let Aba know that we're going to be a little later than we thought." Dee said.  
  
After all the phone calls and necessary arrangements were made the group left and arrived at Aba's a short while later. They were delighted to see that Aba had provided plenty of food and drinks for them. She stayed long enough to say hello to everyone and to make sure they had enough pillows and blankets. Jenny caught her staring intently and was a little nervous but asked to see Aba alone anyway.  
  
"Aba?" she asked when they were out of hearing range of everyone else, "Did Dee tell you the rest of the story?"  
  
"What she knows of it. I'm glad you asked to speak with me. I wanted to make sure you were okay."  
  
"Yes I'm fine, thank you." She replied automatically. Aba's look of disbelief made Jenny smile.  
  
"Ok, I'm not fine, not 100% at least. But I have to believe that I will be and just do the one day at a time thing until it happens."  
  
"And what of your two loves?" Aba queried.  
  
Jenny's eyes flew wide open at that. She was dismayed to hear her voice reduced to a squeaky whisper.  
  
"What loves?"  
  
"Tom. And Julian."  
  
"I'm not sure what you mean, Aba." Well okay she did know but Jenny sometimes resented Aba's apparent psychic gift and its way of rearing its ugly head at the most inopportune times. Like now.  
  
"Jenny, please. I may be an old woman but I am not a fool."  
  
Jenny paced around the room in a tight circle, hugging her arms to her body.  
  
"What do you want me to say?"  
  
"I know your friends haven't pressed you and I know the time is coming sooner than you think when they will."  
  
"You're right," Jenny conceded with a sigh, "But I don't know what to say right now."  
  
"It's not fair."  
  
Jenny peered at Aba closely, trying to determine if she was being made fun of. When she was satisfied that she wasn't the butt of a joke she let her pent-up sigh become audible.  
  
"No, it's not. And that's just about all I know for sure. I don't know how to put into words what I feel without causing pain."  
  
"And so you are putting off the conversation." She held her hand up to stop the protest that was on Jenny's lips. "I'm not judging you. That's a perfectly human thing to do. Avoiding pain and trying not to cause someone else pain are perfectly normal instincts. I just want you to realize that the longer it goes on that the harder it may be."  
  
Jenny merely nodded and made her way back to the room where the others were busy arranging blankets and food. She was surprised to hear Audrey mention watching a movie, she was fairly certain that the plan had been to talk. But she decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and just go with the flow.  
  
They chose a comedy first and a thriller for later on. By the time the second movie was over the gang decided to just go to sleep. Everyone fell asleep fairly quickly and Jenny settled under the blanket, anxious to see Julian.  
  
Her dream began in a stable where she was dressed to go riding. Looking around she noticed a chestnut mare already saddled and apparently waiting for her to mount. As she exited the stable she was delighted to see a wide expanse of meadow in front of her. Kicking her horse into a light trot she let the horse have its lead and sat back, content to just ride off into the horizon.  
  
Cresting the hill in front of them Jenny was delighted to see a picnic laid out underneath a willow tree beside a stream of clear blue water. Urging the horse into a faster canter she soon arrived at the water's edge. Dismounting she lead the horse to the stream and allowed her to cool off.  
  
Jenny made her way to the picnic and spread out the extra blanket that was next to the basket, looking around as she did so. Wasn't Julian going to make an appearance? Suddenly she noticed movement at the top of the hill she had just traversed and he appeared, not riding a horse of his own but walking. She took her time drinking in the sight of him as he made his way to her. When he was almost to her she rose to greet him.  
  
"Hi," she said, reaching her hands out to him.  
  
"Hello yourself," he replied, taking her hands within his and leaning down to give her a quick kiss. Jenny was surprised to feel his lips leave hers as soon as they did but let him tug her down to sit next to him.  
  
"So what did you do after you woke up?" Julian asked as he fished some food out of the basket.  
  
A little taken aback Jenny hesitated before finally answering.  
  
"Well, I went to this party."  
  
"Did you have a good time?"  
  
"Yes although not as much fun as I was having before."  
  
At that Julian smiled.  
  
"We'll work on your lack of subtlety sometime," he said with a smile which Jenny returned. 


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Author's Note: I couldn't in could conscience have another update that didn't including a nice steamy scene with Julian. Disclaimer: Yeah, I just checked eBay and I'm still sans ownership. Go figure.  
  
"Ok, I won't even try. What gives?"  
  
"Well I thought we could have a nice romantic picnic and get to know each other better," Julian told her, "how does that sound?"  
  
Jenny gave it some thought and decided that while it sounded pretty good, it just wasn't what she had been hoping for. But then she remembered that she had been thinking that she needed to cool things off just a bit anyway so maybe this idea of his was a good one after all.  
  
"It sounds wonderful," she announced.  
  
And so they spent a few hours of dream time talking and laughing, and Jenny was surprised to find that she felt at ease just holding a conversation, nothing else. She had feared that perhaps the chemistry was all there was between them. It pleased her to no end to discover that she could see herself liking Julian as a person, not just someone who made her dizzy with kisses.  
  
"What are you grinning about?" Julian asked, interrupting her thoughts.  
  
"I was just thinking that this has been nice. I like getting to know you as a person, not just as, well, not to say that I don't like," she faltered in her explanation, "you know, getting to know you in other ways too."  
  
Julian laughed and cleared the picnic away with a wave of his hand.  
  
"Have you had enough for today?" he asked.  
  
"Enough of what?"  
  
"Getting to know me as a person."  
  
"What do you mean?" she inquired.  
  
"I mean I'm more than ready to move on to 'getting to know you in other ways' too."  
  
"Oh," Jenny said blushing, "I didn't mean we had to end the picnic. But now that you mention it I could probably use a break from talking."  
  
"Did you have an idea for what we could do to fill the silence?" he asked, reaching out and grabbing her hand.  
  
This time she pulled him to her.  
  
"Well," she intoned in a breathy whisper, her mouth just inches away from his, "we could always take a nap."  
  
The look on his face caused Jenny to break into a fit of giggles.  
  
"Your sense of humor is definitely one of the things I love about you," he said wryly.  
  
The comment caused Jenny to cease laughing immediately.  
  
"What's wrong?" Julian asked.  
  
To her horror Jenny felt tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"I, it's just, you said you love me," she replied suddenly unable to look at him.  
  
"I'm sorry; I didn't even think about it, it just came out. I didn't mean to upset you."  
  
"No, you didn't, you don't understand," she said, hating the way she was failing to explain her reaction," it's just that I guess I forgot you ever said anything like that to me before. It was like hearing it for the first time."  
  
"So those are tears of happiness?" he asked, although his tone made it clear he didn't think that was the case.  
  
"Yes," she said. When it was clear he still didn't believe her she placed a hand on either side of his face and looked deep into his eyes and repeated it.  
  
"Yes, Julian. They really are."  
  
"Ok, if you're sure."  
  
She sat back against the willow tree.  
  
"I am. I'm sorry I worried you. I didn't mean to react like that. I guess it's just because I've been thinking so much lately about my feelings for you, you know?"  
  
She got up to pace around the area.  
  
"I've been concentrating so hard on things like pinpointing when they changed, how they affect every relationship I have now, how it could spoil any I will ever have in the future, at least the romantic ones. I've just been trying to work it all out with such a focus on me that I sometimes forget you're in this too. I'm sorry."  
  
He got up and walked over to her, pulling her into an embrace.  
  
"It's all going to work out. Somehow. It has to."  
  
"I hope you're right."  
  
She searched for a way to change the mood and decided another dose of humor might do the trick.  
  
"Wasn't I just saying something about needing to take a break from talking?"  
  
"No. You were saying you thought we should take a nap."  
  
"Ah yes, so I was. Well unless you have a better idea I guess I'll throw my support behind that notion."  
  
He pretended to contemplate for a moment.  
  
"You know, I may just have another thought worth considering."  
  
"Really? Do tell." She implored.  
  
"It's not really the sort of thing one can explain well. It's best to just show you."  
  
"Please do."  
  
He tilted her face up and kissed her, at first gently and then with an increasing passion. It may have been the recent outpouring of emotion but Jenny responded with an equal passion, wrapping her arms around his waist and releasing a soft whimper.  
  
Julian broke the kiss abruptly but before Jenny had a chance to protest he literally swept her off her feet and into his arms. Suddenly they were back in her pseudo bedroom from before and Julian was laying her down on the bed. At her questioning look he grinned.  
  
"I don't want to risk you getting a leg cramp and waking up."  
  
She laughed and laid back as he positioned himself over her.  
  
"Have I been waking up at the wrong time?" she teased.  
  
"Your timing definitely leaves room for improvement." He agreed.  
  
She reached her hand up and ran her fingers through the hair at the base of his head, urging him towards her. As if he needs much coaxing, she thought to herself.  
  
He smiled at her movements and complied eagerly, fitting his mouth to hers with a practiced ease. He cradled her hip with one hand while the other served to prop him up. Jenny's hands moved to caress his chest. She was thrilled to feel silk under her fingers and guessed he had switched into the pajamas from before. Remembering what that meant she allowed her hands to slip inside the top and come into contact with the flesh underneath. Julian growled into her mouth and she smiled against his lips, loving the way he responded to her touch.  
  
Julian broke the kiss to move his lips to her jaw line, and then began to kiss his way down her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access and moaned when he nibbled just below her ear. He moved back to her lips and kissed her. When he coaxed her lips open with his tongue she felt a wave of desire hit her stomach and start to spread out over her body, through her limbs. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and started to move her hands towards the small of his back, urging him closer to her with every touch. 


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Author's note: Someone told me I needed to update by New Year's Eve so without further ado---the disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: In case I'm not in the clear allow me to state, unequivocally, that I do not own the characters. Okay. On with the show. **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** *****************************************************  
  
While her hands were busy caressing the silk of his shirt Julian's were far from idle. He adjusted the angle of the arm supporting his weight so his hand could slip behind Jenny's head and into her hair. The hand that had been gently kneading her hip now trail between her hip and ribcage, creating ribbons of desire that seemed to flow out his fingertips.  
  
As the feelings became more potent Jenny's hands became more forceful and she crushed the silk of his shirt within her fingers. He just wasn't close enough, her mind kept insisting. Her hands dug into the flesh at the base of his spine and she lifted her head slightly off the pillow to try to somehow get her mouth even closer to his, to see if that would take the edge off of her desire.  
  
She pulled his shirt up so she could wrap her arms around his torso and press herself to him. Jenny broke free of his kiss to taste his neck. He obliged her with a smile that quickly turned into a gasp as she applied her teeth to his skin, ever so gently. She used her tongue on the wound and then blew softly, sending shivers up and down Julian's spine. He unconsciously tightened the hand that was in Jenny's hair into a fist and as her hair reacted she was forced to raise her head a little.  
  
As she made eye contact the look in his eyes affected her as much as any of his caresses. For a moment they just drank in some needed oxygen. Jenny let her eyes wander over his features before settling on his lips. She wet her own lips while thinking about all the delicious things his lips had been able to do so far. As she thought about some things she wished Julian's lips would do she let a soft moan escape.  
  
Suddenly Julian rolled over, taking her with him. He had been watching her silent study of him and as her eyes locked onto his lips he was about to smile and tease her until he saw her look turn carnal. It was all he could do not to use his magic to assist her out of her clothes. So he compromised.  
  
Now on his back his hands were free to roam. He used the hand in her hair to guide her lips back to his, where his kiss was fiercely possessive. The other hand lifted her shirt and slipped underneath to stroke the skin on her back. The touch of his hand caused Jenny to arch her back, which brought her back into intimate contact with Julian.  
  
Jenny worked her hands between their bodies so she could attack the buttons on his shirt. They flew off with almost no effort and Jenny trailed her fingernails across his chest, causing Julian to groan.  
  
His hands were now both under her shirt massaging her back. There wasn't a lot of give to the fabric so his hands didn't have quite the range of motion he wished for. It was a problem for Jenny too. She wanted his hands to be able to connect more fully with her skin and this fact was what momentarily brought her out of her haze of desire.  
  
She took a second to register the fact that she was still fully clothed. Worse than that she was still wearing the outfit from her horseback riding excursion-jeans, boots, a sleeveless turtleneck and a button-down short- sleeved shirt. She smiled against Julian's lips and whispered to him.  
  
"No wonder it's getting so hot in here."  
  
"Hmm?" Julian managed to whisper between kisses.  
  
"The shirt. Take it off," Jenny begged before realizing how it sounded.  
  
Julian smiled as both her words and their tone sunk in. He lifted himself up, still cradling Jenny in his arms. He quickly got rid of his shirt and prepared to lay them both back down when her giggle stopped him. He simply looked at her, hoping for a quick explanation.  
  
"No silly," she said, shaking her head for emphasis, "I meant MY shirt."  
  
The look on Julian's face was priceless. His eyes widened and he seemed to have fallen under a spell.  
  
Noticing the look Jenny smirked and decided it was too rare to let pass without comment.  
  
"It IS an awfully nice shirt," she stated, "But why didn't I get a change of costume like you?"  
  
When he didn't reply she smiled to herself and went to work on the buttons.  
  
"I guess I'll just have to do it myself," she teased, noticing that his eyes had begun to follow the progress of her hands. For some reason that made her a little nervous and excited at the same time, the end result being that her hands were working a little slower than usual.  
  
Jenny pulled the shirt off and threw it off the bed, not even caring where it landed. She grasped the hem of the turtleneck and prepared to yank it off too when Julian's voice stopped her.  
  
"Don't."  
  
It was barely a whisper but Jenny reacted like he had shouted the word. She froze in place for a moment.  
  
"Why not?" She asked in a voice as soft as his.  
  
When he failed to answer immediately she hated her subconscious for providing a possible reason, which she voiced almost against her will.  
  
"Don't you want me?"  
  
The look he gave her made her regret asking.  
  
"Of course I want you," he began, wrapping his arms around her to keep her from bolting off the bed, "At this moment there is nothing I would rather do than watch you take off all of your clothes and lay here with me while I use my hands, my mouth, and my body to please you in ways you've never even imagined."  
  
That sounded like heaven to her, so what was the problem?  
  
"But," he continued, "I can't."  
  
She glanced down between them and cocked her head to pin him with her look.  
  
He laughed and cupped her face with one of his hands.  
  
"That's not what I meant," he said and kissed her quickly, "But thanks for the vote of confidence. What I meant is that I can't do it in good conscience."  
  
"Why not? What's stopping you?" she countered, "Is it my age? Do you wish I was older?"  
  
"No, not that. It's just that, well there are two things, actually." He looked away for a moment and became lost in thought. Jenny gently twisted his face back to hers.  
  
"Tell me. Please." He searched her eyes for a moment and after gave a great sigh, relenting.  
  
"The first thing is that I think you might be doing this because you think this is just a dream. And if that's the case I can't do it because to me this isn't just a dream. It isn't something to be forgotten easily or ever, for that matter. For me these experiences with you since I, well, left, have been as real as any I had while a Shadow Man. My feelings for you are so intense, Jenny. And they keep on evolving in a way that to me, anyway, is as real as I ever was. I can't take that final step with you and at the same time know that it isn't real to you. That somewhere down the line it won't "count" as your first time. I can't give myself to you knowing that you can't give yourself to me the same way. Because for me Jenny, it's forever."  
  
Throughout his speech Jenny had been fighting back emotion with a small measure of success. Now as she spoke it was with a voice laden with tears. Before she killed him for being an idiot she figured she may as well let the condemned man have his last words.  
  
"What's the second reason?"  
  
Instead of answering right away he crushed her to him again and this time his mouth was hot and demanding on hers. She responded to him immediately, opening her lips and using her tongue in such a way as to wrench a groan from him.  
  
Finally he broke the kiss and just stared at her, his heavy breathing matching hers in its intensity.  
  
"What's the second reason?" Jenny asked again.  
  
He continued to look into her eyes as if looking for something specific. When she just maintained the look he nodded once as if coming to a conclusion.  
  
"The second reason is something that occurred to me a while ago. It's something that I-" He was cut off by Jenny.  
  
"Please just tell me. No long explanations. Just hit me with it."  
  
He smiled and yet as Jenny looked at him his eyes held a look that was wistful if not downright sad.  
  
  
  
"What if it's not a dream?" 


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

Author's note: So I sort of screwed myself with that last chapter. I know where this story is going; I just got stuck after that last part.  
  
Disclaimer: Okay. On with the show. I own nothing. Still. **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** *****************************************************  
  
She woke up.  
  
It took Jenny a moment to realize where she was, which was on the floor in Aba's house. She felt the hardness of the floor through the blankets. Jenny was panting, the aftereffects of her most recent dream still coursing through her veins.  
  
Soft light streamed in through a window behind her, indicating that it was probably just after dawn. She stretched for a moment and looked around at the hazy outline of the furnishings in the room, not really seeing them as her mind began to race.  
  
Really, that she woke up should not have been a surprise to anyone, she mused. Especially after being delivered a bombshell like that.  
  
Not a dream? What the hell?  
  
She almost let out a groan of frustration before remembering that there were other people in the house with her. She knew without trying that she was awake for good now. Her mind was whirling with the unanswered questions, trying to make sense of it all.  
  
How could it not be a dream? She was asleep when she saw him, right? She woke up after every dream, right? So what part of that process was not a dream?  
  
It was true that she was physically affected by the dreams. But the same thing happened if she had a nightmare.  
  
But there was something scarier than not knowing the answer to what made her visits with Julian real. And that was what it meant if they were. If the visits with Julian were real then she had been dangerously close to participating in something her now-conscious self wasn't sure she was ready for. She had almost slept with Julian.  
  
She didn't bother pretending that she didn't want to. Oh, she wanted to, all right. The fact that she was currently on the floor with a physical ache for Julian's presence was testimony to that. And there was really never a question as to whether or not Julian wanted to. She smiled as she took the time to relive some of his reactions to her kissing and caressing.  
  
But all the reliving in the world wasn't going to help her do anything but get all worked up again. And seeing as she was already so keyed up that she couldn't sleep, she figured it was best to return her attention to the problem at hand.  
  
Wanting to sleep with Julian and being ready for the consequences were two different things. Was she ready for what that step meant?  
  
If somehow he was right and these dreams were reality then there were some hard truths Jenny had to deal with.  
  
Among other things being with Julian for real meant she was cheating on Tom. Despite their current situation Jenny and Tom were technically still a couple. So was she ready to let Tom go?  
  
And if she wasn't with Tom anymore and made the decision to be with Julian what would happen to her friendships? It was no secret that her friends didn't like Julian, especially Tom and Zach. If being with Julian meant not being with her friends anymore, could she do it?  
  
It was so easy to say that her friends' opinions shouldn't matter. But the reality was that they did.  
  
Jenny knew that deep down her friends only wanted her to be happy. But chances were pretty good that they didn't see Julian as the key to that happiness.  
  
Sighing audibly Jenny rolled over and attempted to calm her mind and distract herself from these thoughts. But they wouldn't be banished.  
  
So as she considered every scenario she continued to find herself getting more and more tense until she noticed that she held the edge of the sheet in a vice grip.  
  
Worrying about all this was ridiculous. Not ridiculous in the sense that she had nothing to worry about, mind you, more like ridiculous because she couldn't solve anything on her own.  
  
She needed to talk to her friends as soon as possible, preferably before her next encounter with Julian.  
  
And she needed to talk with Tom before anyone else.  
  
As she continued to lay there she was surprised to find herself becoming drowsy. Realizing that there was still a few hours before anyone else was likely to be awake she gave in to the temptation and fell asleep.  
  
This time when she woke up it was due to the smell of coffee and bacon and the sounds of her friends chattering and making breakfast. She smiled as she listened to them but the smile soon faded as she realized something.  
  
She was dismayed to discover that she had been engaged in a dreamless sleep. Not that she didn't need to catch up on some solid sleep, of course, it was just a little sad that she didn't see Julian.  
  
But it was for the best that she didn't, she assured herself as she got up and went to work folding the blankets. Because she now had the time to talk with her friends before she dealt with Julian again.  
  
It was just a matter of getting that pesky courage up to handling the task.  
  
"Good morning Sunshine," Dee called out as she noticed Jenny arranging the pillows and blankets on the nearby couch, "Did we wake you?"  
  
"It's okay," Jenny responded with a smile, "I needed to get up anyway. Besides, those smells are so tempting I wouldn't have been sleeping much longer."  
  
"You got that right," Michael agreed as he set the table, "Especially when you realize Audrey has been in charge of cooking. My woman knows how to make some mean scrambled eggs."  
  
Audrey simply rolled her eyes and shook her head at this statement.  
  
As they ate breakfast together they reviewed their plans for the rest of the week and before they knew it the dishes were washed and dried and it was time to go.  
  
Tom's dad met them at Sarah's house and Jenny was going to ask for a ride home from someone else but before she could Tom beat her to it. "Jenny, would you mind waiting for us to fix the flat? Then I can take you home."  
  
What else could she do but agree? With a nod of her head Jenny agreed. She and Tom bid their friends adieu and she sat back to wait for the car to get fixed. 


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

Author's note: Okay. I have been threatened with death. So I'm throwing this chapter behind me as I run away, cold and frightened.  
  
Disclaimer: I still own nothing. **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** *****************************************************  
  
Tom and his dad worked on Tom's car and had the tire fixed in less than half an hour.  
  
"Okay, we're all set. See you at home, Tom. Goodbye, Jenny."  
  
"Goodbye."  
  
"I'll be home soon, dad."  
  
And with that Jenny got into Tom's car and they took off for Jenny's house. Her courage had deserted her and she kept up small talk all the way to her house. As they pulled into the driveway she had a stern talk with herself and reminded her inner weakling that she had faced down a room full of Shadow Men. There was nothing she couldn't handle.  
  
With that in mind she mustered her strength and turned to Tom.  
  
"Would you mind coming in for a minute?"  
  
He didn't seem surprised by the request, a fact which was supported by his reply.  
  
"Not at all, in fact, I need to talk to you."  
  
They made their way into the living room and sat down next to each other on the couch.  
  
"There's just no easy way to do this." Tom got up and began to pace around the room.  
  
Jenny decided to play dumb, hoping to prolong the pain this situation was sure to cause.  
  
"To do what?"  
  
Tom stopped pacing long enough to give Jenny a look that made her want to crawl under the carpet and hide. He actually gave a half-smile at the grimace on Jenny's face.  
  
"Come on, Thorny. Don't make this harder than it already is."  
  
There was a sense of surreal ness surrounding the whole thing. A few months ago if someone had predicted that she and Tom would be in her living room to discuss the future of their relationship Jenny would have had a good laugh. Not only that, she would have been hard pressed to come up with anything that would warrant such a conversation.  
  
She gave a sharp laugh. At his look she explained.  
  
"I was just thinking that this whole thing," she gestured between them, "is so unreal."  
  
"That's a good word for it," he agreed.  
  
Like a band-aid, she thought to herself. Just rip it off. Go on, Jenny. Rip it off! She steeled herself and decided to be blunt and stop the torture this conversation already was.  
  
"We're breaking up, aren't we?"  
  
She couldn't meet his eyes as she said it. Her bravery had its limits.  
  
He just sighed, not saying anything for the moment. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, seeming to search within for the words he wanted.  
  
"Yes."  
  
And there it was.  
  
They both remained silent for what felt like an eternity. The silence was both welcome and oppressive.  
  
Jenny couldn't believe it. She was stunned. She didn't think she would be. She hadn't really given much forethought to how she would feel upon actually having heard the word.  
  
"What happened to us?" It came out in a whisper. She felt like a masochist. Did she really want to hear the answer?  
  
No, her brain assured her. She really didn't want to hear the answer.  
  
But her heart reminded her that she needed to hear the response.  
  
"I don't know, exactly."  
  
Jenny couldn't really blame Tom for being evasive. This wasn't a conversation she was dying to have, either. But they needed to air this out, or else their friendship would end up in as much jeopardy as their relationship had. She realized with a pang that she was going to have to lead the conversation.  
  
"It started with The Games, didn't it?"  
  
She felt more than a little proud of herself. It had taken a lot of guts to say that, to just cut right to the heart of it. She hadn't thought she was capable and judging from the look on Tom's face, he was surprised too.  
  
But that look of surprise faded into sorrow.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Suddenly Jenny was hit full force with the reality of what she was doing and some part of her screamed out for her to end this madness and just go back to the way it had been before. It wasn't worth it!  
  
She jumped up from the couch and clenched her fists, becoming angry.  
  
"Why can't things go back to the way they were before?"  
  
Surprised by her outburst Tom took a cautionary step back but he became upset as well. He gritted his teeth and snapped at Jenny.  
  
"Because of him, that's why."  
  
It was her turn to marvel at Tom's words. She never thought that he would go there. Mr. Evasive had turned into Mr. Confrontational, and from the look on his face he had brought his close friend Mr. Bitter and Resentful with him.  
  
Oh dear.  
  
"What about him?"  
  
No sense pretending she didn't know who they were talking about now was there?  
  
"You know."  
  
"And that's why I asked, of course. Because although I'm psychic I like to have my subjects confirm my insights. Come on Tom."  
  
He just stared at her, his eyes narrow and intense. He crossed his arms defiantly.  
  
"Talk to me."  
  
He looked away and sulked. It was clear he was regretting ever saying anything. She made her way over to him and placed a hand on his arm.  
  
"Please Tom. We need to talk about this. I don't want to lose you from my life completely."  
  
With a sigh he gave in.  
  
"Fine."  
  
That was all he said. Jenny waited and when it was clear he was going to be difficult she rolled her eyes and asked herself why guys had to be such babies sometimes. But then her conscience reminded her that he was in immense pain due to her and maybe she wanted to rethink her strategy a bit.  
  
"Tom, what did you want to say about what happened during The Games?"  
  
"How could you do that?!" He exploded.  
  
"Do what?" This time it was Jenny's turn to step back.  
  
"Be like that with him! Do you have any idea how that felt?"  
  
"Be like what? I'm not sure I'm totally with you. Could you please explain in a little bit more detail?"  
  
Jenny didn't really want to hear how Tom thought she was with Julian. She was afraid of making him more upset but they needed to hash this all out and it was for the best if he said exactly what was on his mind.  
  
"I *saw* you kiss him!"  
  
At that outburst Jenny's mind could only form one thought..which time?  
  
Tom saw the blank look on her face and misinterpreted it.  
  
"At the end of the first Game, during the ceremony. I saw you kiss him, we all did! And it wasn't just a quick peck, either. I never thought you'd kiss him of your own free will, let alone like *that*! Do you have any idea how it felt to see how that kiss affected you?"  
  
Her eyes became even wider at this statement. Whatever Jenny had hoped Tom would be talking about, it certainly wasn't this! She fervently wished for a hole in the ground to swallow her up. 


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

A/N" Well I am way overdue in the Thanks department so I'm starting this chapter off with a MASSIVE list.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Get it? Got it? Good.

Forest Elfin – I like keeping my reviewers on their toes…I'm shifty like that.

Kristen Michelle – You know that I *live* for your reviews! And yes, I'm thinking of a Secret Circle fic…but I have two (Labyrinth and a Harry Potter one) going around in my head that I will probably do first. Speaking of fics, any chance you'd turn yours into an "R" so I can keep reading it? I was totally into it! Or if you've posted it somewhere else let me know so I can r&r!

JLF – Your kind words mean so much to me.

Chryseis –You put me on your Favorites? I'm so honored!

Amber Evans Potter – I hope I'm updating at a decent clip! 

Than Stillman – I wonder if I'm going in the direction you thought I would be with this?

Venus Smurf – It's not often I get blessed for updating…does that mean I'm excused from church? And my updates improve your life? I'm so flattered!

Shelli – Yes, Tom is guilty of Not Being Julian, and of course of the related crimes of Not Being Nearly as Sexy as Julian and Not Being Jenny's Soulmate

evilspoofauthor2Cassi – I'm trying to be fair, just sometimes I'm evil instead. I'm trying to update faster to make up for it.

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me – Hopefully this finds you still alive and not dead as you imagined? I can't believe it's been almost a year! Wow. Not to give away anything but since you asked Julian is sad b/c he knows how Jenny will react to what he said. Did you really re-read the fic over and over? *lol* I thought I was the only one who did that with fics?! I'm not alone and it's a good feeling…

Lil-Vixen – Thanks for saying please…I'm into the polite reviewer thing, it inspires me.

Skyfire – I love the way you formatted your review. Really got the emotions across. Thanks. And I really hope I haven't given you insomnia.

Forest Elfin – Say, you wouldn't happen to have chosen your Pen Name b/c of LOTR, would you? Just a thought. Thanks for writing!

Rashel Jordan – Well I appreciate your thoughts and I couldn't agree more that Julian and Jenny belong together. I hope to live up to your expectations for the story!

Ellie101 (2lazy2signin) – I feel that way too, about signing in. So I hope I haven't let you down in the updating department…I'm trying not to!

BrattyBura – Thank you for taking the time to write such wonderful things!

CLARE  -- I feel the same way about the books. Every time is just as great as the first. Thank you for reviewing!

Cat – With great reviews like yours how can I help but keep on going?

Moonlighting – I didn't mean to stop the world from rotating on its axis, really. That's just icing on the cake. Thanks for giving my story a look.

Taraeldaiel –Wow right back at you! I almost NEVER get someone saying they ENJOY a cliffhanger! Thanks for saying so!

Shadow – Thank you for writing. That was very sweet of you! 

Jenny debated the wisdom of this discussion. Maybe working Tom (or herself) up like this wasn't such a good idea. Not to mention that they were venturing into dangerous waters, what with the argument currently centering on Julian and all.

But she decided to just keep everything as honest as she could without getting overly sensitive or emotional. Honesty _was the best policy, right?_

"No. I don't know."

Tom looked at her blankly for a moment.

"Why would I know, Tom? This is the first time you've ever talked about **any** of this with me. At length, anyway."

"Oh." The fight seemed to leave him with that one word.

Jenny knew better than to press Tom for a detailed answer. No, she was fairly certain she could go to her grave without knowing how Tom felt about her and Julian kissing. And then his actual words made an impact on her brain. 

Something about Julian's kiss _affecting her? _

Oh no, there was **no way** she was going to be pushing for insights there! She knew well enough how Julian's kisses affected her. No need for that to become public knowledge now or ever!

"I keep seeing it happen, you know. For a while there it happened every time I closed my eyes."

_Do I want to know what he's talking about?_ Jenny asked herself. _No, you really don't, her inner voice assured her._

"I'm talking about the kiss, of course."

Well that clears that up.

"I noticed that it was Julian who ended it. I didn't realize I noticed it at first, though. It was one of those things that came to me after I had viewed the whole episode in slow motion twenty or thirty times."

Jenny almost groaned aloud. Were they really having this conversation?

"You didn't even try to fight. That was, well, I **still can't get over it. I mean, Julian says you need to kiss and you just do it! No questions, no thinking it's a trick, no protesting against it. You just went ahead and kissed him."**

_Please don't let him ask me why I did it. Oh lord, please please please._ Jenny had to fight the urge to actually get down on her knees in supplication. While she was busy holding an internal dialogue with whatever deity was tuning in Tom had begun to pace in front of her in short, terse strides. 

"I figured you were just trying to help us, get it over as fast as possible. But then you guys just kept kissing and I thought—well I **didn't think—I mean I couldn't form a thought for a while after that."**

_You and me both.___

"But the part that **killed** me, well truth be told it still kills me, was when you finally stopped kissing."

_You too?___

"Because when you stopped you opened your eyes."

Then Tom stopped talking and seemed to drift away, mentally. Jenny wondered if it would be asking too much to plead for him to suddenly fall into a coma. A feeling of dread had pretty much taken up permanent residence in Jenny's stomach since the start of this conversation. But Jenny had a horrible suspicion that whatever Tom was going to utter next would be devastating. For both of them.

"When you opened your eyes," he paused for a moment and closed his eyes. His head lowered and his hand closed into a fist which he placed over his heart, as if there were a great pain there he was trying to ease. He kept that posture as he continued.

"You looked at him and I _knew_. I suppose actually that anyone who was looking knew, but I saw it first. You looked at him as if you **wanted** him. For just a moment--you wanted him. You wanted him to kiss you again."

Jenny stopped breathing for a moment. The weight of this whole conversation was so stifling. And what Tom was saying, the things he had noticed? It was so painful to hear. The only thing more painful to her was seeing no end in sight.

"You asked me 'What happened to us?' And that's it, isn't it? At least partly. It's just not there, is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"And the funny thing is I never knew it was missing until it was gone." He continued talking as if he were unaware of her interruption. Then he looked at her straight on.

"Don't you think that's weird? To miss something you never had? But until that moment I swear I never even considered it."

She shrugged before answering.

"I'm not sure. What exactly is missing again?"

"Passion. Chemistry. Whatever you want to call it. Between us." 

He punctuated the words sharply and with each one Jenny's expression changed from one of initial horror to one that reflected a deep pain. She had obviously been lying to herself and doing Tom a disservice by imagining that she was the only one to harbor thoughts of this nature.

"I never thought that our relationship was lacking in any way. And it's not that I never thought about our relationship in a physical sense, because I have, I mean I did. I just always thought there'd be time for us to focus on that stuff later. I mean, everyone has been saying that we'll be together forever for so long, as long as I can remember. And in the end I believed them and assumed I had all of my life to work it out."

"You assumed I'd always be there, too."

He looked at her sharply but saw no malice in her gaze. It was a simple statement of fact from her.

"Yes, I suppose I did. I knew that other girls would tell you that you were so lucky to have me and I always thought you agreed with them. I never thought you'd ever like someone else. I _know how guys look at you, and before now I'd have laid odds that you didn't realize it more often than not."_

She smiled a little at that.

"You're right about both things. Even if I **would see some guy checking me out I didn't really give it a second thought unless he was a jerk and then I just brushed him off like Audrey would."**

It was his turn to grin but he quickly sobered up and returned to his earlier train of thought.

"I always thought we were the perfect couple. I never gave a thought to any possible flaws until the moment I saw you and Julian kiss. The way you looked at him is something I will never forget because you **_never_ looked at me that way."**

"Tom I" Jenny began but was forcefully interrupted.

"Let me talk. You never looked at me that way before. And I wanted you to, more than anything else. You have to believe me. When we were in the car that night after the Lurker jumped on Audrey's car I wanted to kiss you and see that same look but this time for _me_. But the minute that damned song came on I knew you were thinking of **him."**

Jenny didn't bother to deny it. It was after all something they had both known at the time. She could sense that Tom needed to get all of this out of his system so she opted to remain quiet for as long as she could manage it.

"That's the first time I really thought our relationship was in serious trouble. I guess we both started thinking that around the same time, huh?"

Actually Jenny had realized something might be a little off the first time she ever laid eyes on Julian and consequently forgot Tom's existence. She figured that little tidbit was something best kept to herself forever. Tom took her silence as agreement and continued.

"So I've been thinking a lot about us and what we should do. I thought maybe we could patch things up and go right back to the way things were before. But I realized that could never happen the way I wanted. And then I thought maybe things wouldn't be exactly the same but that you could learn to respond to me the way you did to him."

Her eyes widened noticeably at that statement.

"But like I said, in the car that night I knew you were thinking of him. So maybe that was a one-time thing. And maybe our relationship **could** eventually evolve into something else, something better, if not for one thing."

Jenny didn't dare to hazard a guess as to what that might be.

"I thought we could repair our relationship if I honestly believed you never thought of Julian after The Games. But I _know that's not true. And if I believed it was true at any point I certainly don't after what happened before the party the other night."_

Ouch. Jenny winced at that. Tom was certainly unloading a lot of baggage.

"I mean, it was obvious you were dreaming about him. And it was **clear** that it wasn't a nightmare."

Jenny could feel herself blush.

"So I knew for sure that we were going to break up. It shocked me to realize that it meant I was going to have to find someone else. But more traumatizing than that was becoming conscious of a desire to actually _do it, find someone else. I only realized it because like I said before this whole experience made me aware of something I didn't even know I was missing. I accept that I can't force you to respond to me the way you did to Julian. But I realize that I want it for myself. I was and still am jealous of you and Julian and I admit I want that."_


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

Author's note: I know some people feel like I should have just had Jenny kick Tom to the curb but I feel like there was such an emphasis on how long the two of them had been together in the books that it would be doing the characters an injustice. For me it needs to be a long drawn out thing to stay in character. I mean, Jenny is a moron and picked Tom over Julian more than once. It stands to reason that she is going to continue to act like a freak and hem and haw over this decision too. Not to mention what a piece of work Tom is. I always felt like Tom viewed Jenny as a possession somewhat. And now that Julian opened his eyes to what Jenny is Tom has to kick himself for a while. Even though he's doing the right thing by breaking up with her…it still has to hurt.

Disclaimer: I'm naming this disclaimer Bob. Bob wants everyone to know that I do not want to be sued by anyone and that I appreciate the recognition that I own nothing and am not profiting by it.

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Tom…" Jenny began.

"No, Jenny! It doesn't matter what you say. You can say we need each other and that we've been through so much together, and those things and all the other ones you can think of are true. But they cannot erase the truth. They cannot eliminate the fact that Julian happened. That he came and changed everything for everyone. They cannot cancel out the fact that you and I are different people now, going separate ways. We will always be in each other's lives, Jenny. It just won't be like we thought."

He was right, of course. What he said was correct regardless of the fact that Jenny had not been about to protest this whole conversation and beg him to stay like he thought.

"But I'm an idiot and a jackass."

Whatever Jenny had been about to say died upon hearing that proclamation.

"Say what?"

He shook his head and refused to look at her, obviously going through some internal struggle. Jenny focused on threading and unthreading her fingers together while she waited for him to decide upon his course of action.

"Though I suppose if I were to get technical I would have to label myself a masochist."

She looked up as he spoke, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Why do you say that Tom?"

"Because I should just walk away. I know that's the smart thing to do. Instead I'm going to stay here and ask you a question I **know I don't want to hear the answer to. But part of me is just dying to ask. It's obviously the part that longs for the men with the nice white coats to come and take me away post haste, because I'm pretty sure if I hear the answer I may very well drive myself insane with the knowledge."**

Oh brother! No pressure here or anything! What in the world was he going to ask? Jenny was just as sure as Tom that the smart thing to do would be for him to **not** ask whatever question was tormenting him.

"So don't ask me." 

Her voice was both hopeful and worried. He smiled at the tone she used.

"The only reason I am is that someone else is bound to do it sooner or later and when they do I'd rather have the answer already so I can just tune out the rest of the conversation."

Despite assuring herself that she had no clue what Tom was going to ask the part of Jenny's brain that remained in the present at all times was fairly certain not only of the subject of Tom's question but of the actual question itself. At the moment Jenny hated that part of herself.

She kept her frightened gaze on him as she waited for the dreaded question.

"So Jenny, what I want to know is what feelings did you develop for Julian?"

"What?"

It was out before she fully processed the question. If she had processed it she certainly would not have been inviting Tom to explain what he meant.

Even though that treacherous part of her brain was rejoicing in her innate intelligence in guessing the subject it was as shocked about the question itself as the rest of Jenny.

_No. No. No, he did **not just ask me that.**_

Tom took one look at Jenny's face and sighed. Her features were frozen in a horrified, shocked expression. He took a small measure of comfort in the knowledge that perhaps Jenny had really thought she hadn't given any indication of even having feelings for Julian. Though he realized it would be too much to ask that perhaps she really **didn't** have any feelings for him and was upset that he even suggested such a thing. 

"Oh come on Jenny. I may have just admitted I'm an idiot but I never said anything about being a _blind_ idiot."

"What?"

At the moment Jenny didn't know if she would ever be capable of any response beyond 'What?' ever again. 

"Do you really want me to explain?"

No, she really didn't but before she could find her voice he continued.

"First there was the kiss. Then there was the whole crying, no wait, make that **_sobbing_** over his death. Next there is the fact that you **still wear his ring. Also it's obvious that you continue to think of him. I can always tell what it happens, too. You get this look in your eyes, this faraway look. I can't explain it better than that. I just know without a doubt that you're thinking of him. Finally let's not forget the whole calling out his name after your dream thing, not that I can."**

At this point Jenny's brain had finally made it past its paralysis and was ready to speak. She was surprised at the level of anger she felt towards Tom. But she felt justified in it. She recognized that a lot of her anger was due to the fact that she wanted to keep her feelings about Julian to herself. Tom asking about them was an invasion into the most private part of her self. But back to Tom. Who the hell did he think he was? They break up and then he demands to know her feelings for Julian? What gave him the right to demand anything? 

Jenny got ready to tell Tom that it was none of his damn business what feelings she did or didn't have for Julian. But just as she opened her mouth her mom popped her head in the room.

Noticing the grim looks the two teenagers before her were wearing Mrs. Thornton's smile left her lips.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. It's just that it's almost dinner time. Tom, will you be joining us?"

Tom sighed and turned to face Jenny's mom. He barely managed a small smile.

"No thank you Mrs. Thornton. I have to get home and finish up my work for tomorrow."

He made his way to the door and turned to face Jenny as he pulled the door open. 

"I'll see you in school Jenny."

"Goodbye Tom."

They looked at each other for a long moment.

"Goodbye Jenny."  
  


As Tom left Jenny went to go upstairs and clean up before dinner but her mom's voice stopped her.

"Sit down for a minute; I'd like to talk to you."

Jenny did as her mother asked; silently dreading what was to come. Her mom sat down on the couch beside her.

"Did I interrupt a fight between the two of you?"

"Not exactly a fight."

She gave Jenny's face a piercing look, silently evaluating what she saw. Finally she nodded to herself.

"I think I understand and I want you to listen to me and try not to fly off the handle, ok?"

"Ok."

Jenny was sure her mom had absolutely no idea what she was going through. But as all children eventually learn it's best to just let your parents do their thing. It makes them happy and your life more bearable. She decided to just let her mom talk.

"Maybe this 'not exactly a fight' is exactly what you need."

"Exactly what I need for what?" Ok, so she was actually going to converse. It looked like an inevitability seeing as her mom was making zero sense.

"You may very well spend the rest of your life with Tom; I'm not saying you won't. All I'm saying is you're smart."

At that Jenny looked up at her mother in confusion. Her mom laughed at the look Jenny gave her.

"Yes, you heard me. You're smart. And smart people investigate all their options before making such a huge commitment. Take college, for example. You're looking at all the schools before making a decision. Now I don't want you to take this the wrong way but your father and I are glad that you and Tom are considering some separate colleges."

"Why is that?" Jenny asked feeling more confused than irritated. She thought her parents loved Tom.

"We just want you to be sure Tom is the one for you. And while you may have a gut feeling about him we don't. So I guess in a way we want to be sure about Tom. And it's not that we don't trust your feelings or you in general, it's more that we would like to at least see you with some other guys to help us be sure. Can you understand that, sweetheart?"

Oh Jenny understood alright. She understood that her mom really had no clue as to the current situation. But she nodded at her mom anyway. Not out of an actual desire to keep this talk going, mind you, more out of a desire to see it end as quickly as possible.

At Jenny's nod her mom continued.

"Good. I'm not suggesting you break up with Tom or anything like that. I just want you to be open to new friendships and new people. College is a time when you will have interactions and experiences beyond anything you can imagine and I just want you to be receptive to it."

_Oh mom, you'd be surprised what interactions and experiences I've already had that were **way beyond anything I could have imagined, **_Jenny thought.__


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

"And yes. I would like you to at least **consider** dating some other people. Even if it's just to prove to yourself that there is no one else you'd rather be with in the whole world than Tom."

It's a little late for this talk, Jenny thought to herself wryly. She had already discovered another guy. And he thought she was great, more than great even and she thought he was... she sighed

as she realized her thoughts were once again on Julian. Her mom mistook her sigh for something else as she continued talking.

"Ok. Not just yourself. Your father and I as well."

Her mom's last comment eluded Jenny's brain and she shot her a confused glance.

"I know what you're thinking. But so what if the guy turns out to be a dud? So what if every other guy turns into Mr. Wrong? At least you'll know other guys find you attractive and fun and all that

good stuff besides Tom. You'll have some new friends out of it. If nothing else you'll have awkward dates you can laugh about with your friends. Maybe someday you can even picture yourself

with someone else besides Tom."

Seeing the look on Jenny's face made Mrs. Thorton laugh again.

"Ok, maybe that's a stretch for now."

But Jenny's mom didn't know that while she was talking Jenny **_was _**picturing herself with someone besides Tom and was looking depressed because she wanted that someone, not because she

couldn't imagine it happening.

_Should she tell her?_ Jenny mused for a moment. She couldn't see a reason not to, other than her own desire to keep it a secret. Maybe it would make her feel better; at least she could practice

saying the words. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself first.

"Actually Mom, Tom and I have broken up."

Now it was her mom's turn to give Jenny a look. She practically fell backwards into the cushions. If it weren't such a painful subject Jenny would have laughed at her mom's behavior. As it was she couldn't help but crack a smile. Seeing Jenny's small smile made her mom regain her composure quickly.

"Oh honey…I'm sorry. What happened?"

What happened? What was it about human nature that made everyone so curious? Be it accident, death, or something else equally morbid, human beings couldn't help but wonder…what was the cause?

"Well…" Jenny paused. Obviously the truth was out of the question here. She struggled with the answer, knowing it had to satisfy her mom's curiosity and also stop the line of questioning. She thought for a moment and then realized she didn't have a great answer now and would likely never have one. So she just gave the only one she could think of. She settled on a response that was truthful yet not the whole story.

"There was someone else…"

"Tom became involved with another girl? When? Who?"

_Boy that answer really didn't stop the flow of questions now did it?_ Jenny mentally rebuked herself. She blushed and couldn't meet her mom's eyes as she answered,

"Uh, no, actually…it was me."

That made her mom's eyes widen. For a few moments they sat in silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Then her mom laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Well here I am with this whole speech about growing up and keeping your options open and now I just feel foolish."

"Oh no Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"No, no. Never mind that. I'm not upset. Quite the opposite, actually. I guess I need to give you more credit than I do. So who is he?"

Now it was Jenny's turn to have her eyes widen.

Whoa, was **that** a topic she didn't feel like discussing with her mom. She remained silent, hoping her mom would take the hint. But it seemed as though her mom was quite content to wait for Jenny's answer. But Jenny refused to fall prey to the trap she had set up for herself just moments before, and so she carefully thought out her answer.

"It doesn't matter."

_Boy that sounded better in her head._

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? And don't tell me it was 'just some guy' because I know you and I don't think you could ever…well I didn't think you would ever so much as look at another guy, I already admitted that. So, knowing that you have, I have to believe that he is out of this world. He'd have to be to draw your attention away from Tom for any length of time."

Just some guy? Julian? No way! Out of this world? Definitely. Yes. But she wasn't going there. Not now, not with her _mom_.

"He is…" Jenny faltered. How did you describe Julian? She thought about him and struggled to find any appropriate words. She searched her memories and conjured up mental pictures of his eyes, his lips, his arms as they held her, his…

"Wow." Jenny's mom interrupted her train of thought. Jenny looked around, silently hoping she hadn't actually started to drool while thinking of Julian.

"What is it, Mom?"

"You don't have to say anything, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that while you were trying to think of a way to describe him your whole face just lit up. I've never seen that look in your eyes."

_Oh dear. _

They were getting into dangerous territory now. Before her mom could read into anything else Jenny had to set her straight on one thing.

"We're not together either."

"Okay now I'm confused."

Oh boy. Jenny got up and paced around in a tight circle, tears springing unbidden to her eyes as she thought about why she and Julian weren't together…the real reason. But she forced herself to gain control and face her mom. She gave her answer in a single rush of breath.

"Well he doesn't live anywhere near here. And so we can't be together. It's as simple as that."

"Oh…honey."

That almost undid Jenny's composure. That kind of pity that can only come from your parents.

"It's okay. It's probably a good idea to be by myself for a while anyway, right? I've got all these decisions and changes to deal with so taking some time to focus on me is all right."

"You're growing up so fast." Her mom said with a sigh, standing to take Jenny into a tight embrace. "Just don't grow up too fast."

As she let Jenny go she added one more question.

"What did Dee and everyone say when they heard about you and Tom?"

Jenny noticed that she was trying to look like it wasn't a big deal, and it confused her.

"Well you're the first person I've told, to be honest. That's what you walked in on, the tail end of us breaking up."

Her mom's face brightened noticeably and Jenny understood the peculiar manner her mom had adopted a moment ago…she was jealous. Jealous that she was left out of something this

important in her daughter's life. But knowing she was the first to know about the break-up apparently reassured her about her importance.

"So are you nervous about telling them?"

That didn't even come close to describing the near heart-attack she felt with the mere thought of telling her friends.

"Yes. Very."

"Don't worry. They're your friends for a reason…they love you and they'll stand by you, no matter what."

They had already done that and more, Jenny thought to herself.

"Ok, well why don't you go finish up some homework before dinner? I'll call you in about half an hour."

"Ok mom."

Her mom gave her a long hug before letting her go upstairs.

"Oh Jenny?" Her mom called out before she had made it up the stairs.

"Yeah mom?"

Mrs. Thornton came into view at the bottom of the landing and smiled up at her daughter.

"I know that after telling your friends about you and Tom there will be some awkward tension for a while. But I want you to know that things will get better. You and Tom have been friends for

far too long to let anything keep you from being in each other's lives for more than a short time."

Jenny smiled at her mom's attempts at reassurance. She turned to keep walking but again her mom called out to her.

"One more thing honey."

"Yes?"

"About the other guy."

Jenny's eyes widened and she forgot to breathe for a moment. Was her mom trying to give her heart failure or something? Jenny thought she had made it clear that she and 'the other guy'

weren't together either, so what was her mom doing?

"I just want you to know that things have a way of working themselves out the way they're supposed to. And if you are meant to be with this other guy, or someone else for that matter, then it

will happen. So when you don't think that things will ever go back to normal, well, just remember two things."

"What's that mom?"

Her mom smiled at her.

"Number one is: there is a plan. We don't always know it but our paths are laid out for us. All of the crazy stuff that goes on is all part of a master plan. And number two is: don't be so quick to

wish a normal life for yourself. When all is said and done what's so great about normal?"

Jenny completely froze in place at that statement. It was exactly what she had said to Julian. Spooky. Her mom appeared not to notice her daughter's paralysis as she kept talking.

"When you look back at your life the things that stand out are usually the missed opportunities and the unusual things that deviate from the norm. So even if you and this mystery guy aren't

together anymore at least you took a chance. And that's something that too many people never get the courage to do."

The sudden ringing of the phone brought the conversation to an abrupt end.

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Author's note: I have such great reviewers that I feel that I should really be thanking them more and more often.

Disclaimer: Just for kicks I'll go ahead and have the standard disclaimer plus an order of fries. Please leave off the mayo and add the "do not sue me please". That's all

Chapter 24

**Cat ** I hope that I am updating at a decent speed. I've been busting my tailfeather to do better.

**Skyfire** Hope that the "more more more" I've dished out is satisfying

**Venus Smurf** You have to know that your review is without a doubt the reason I've been able to update so fast…great reviews like yours just keep the old creativity flowing!

**Amber Evans Potter** Why I incite you to violent outbursts is beyond me. Is it just me? I hope that me sending these last few chapters your way has helped curb the impulses?

**Forest Elfin** So you actually danced in a circle? I thought I was the only one to get physically demonstrative about stories I like!

**ArchAngel**** pixxistixx4me** Yes….I did notice that Jenny seems to have that nasty habit of wanting to be swallowed up by the earth…deep-seated psychological stuff I'm sure.

**evilspoofauthor1Sven** Hope the chapters are getting to you in a timely manner!

**Shadow** Thanks….I'm trying to update a whole bunch faster than normal.

**ArchAngel**** pixxistixx4me** You are so great…I love the regularity with which you review!

Chapter 25

**Venus Smurf** Well I hope that it was a pleasant surprise to have the next chapter so soon?

**evilspoofauthor2Cassi** The first part of your review of this chapter reminded me of Grease 2, when Johnny declares that they're broken up so that made me laugh. Sorry to hear that I made you think of an unfortunate ex, though. I love the fact that you want Jenny to go back to sleep…the fact that she hasn't yet probably makes you upset with me, right? Sorry about that…I'm all for quality snog time with the Shadow Man too. It's just getting back there in a way that doesn't make Jenny seem narcoleptic, which I may just have her become anyway so we can have more Julian! Yes…you are so right about Tom but I can see how he would feel bad…not that he doesn't deserve to have the pain b/c he pretty much caused it (even if LJS didn't see that).

**Shadow **Thanks so much! Yes, you have to feel bad for Jenny. She is kind of a lost puppy.

**Kristen Michelle** Your idea for helping Jenny and Tom stay together would be great except for the fact that I have claimed Julian as my own. You're still working on your story? SUPER! I am very glad to hear it! Yes, please contact me when you do re-post! I'm down with the time constraints of full-time work and school…what a pain! Oh I'm not sure you're going to like my HP story b/c my ship of choice is Draco/Hermione ducks in case of projectiles You're always so positive in your reviews and I always feel like writing after reading one of them! And no, you are not missing anything…I'm going to go back to the whole J/J thing…I just have to let some other interactions take place first which is a shame b/c I have produced any drool worthy imagery in a while! ArchAngel pixxistixx4me Hey, I'm glad to review your work. Turnabout's fair play. Sorry the chapter length wasn't long enough…I'm doing my best to get better.

**Forest Elfin** hee hee…yes, Tom seems more like the strong and silent type, doesn't he? But he had a lot of baggage to unload…and I'm betting that the fact that he was still doing it in the next chapter came as a shock!

Chapter 26

**Forest**** Elfin** Thank you! I'm glad that my portrayal of Mrs. Thornton came off as believable. I've been there in Jenny's place before.

**ArchAngel**** pixxistixx4me** The fact that you're happy makes me happy. I wouldn't say you harass the review forum…you gently prod to get new chapters is all. So you have some hostility towards Tom, hmm? Thanks for re-reading, too. I do that before I write the next chapter to make sure it flows ok. Glad you agree about Jenny being somewhat less than intelligent at times. Sorry about the lack of His Droolworthiness, too.

**Shadow** Thanks for the appreciation. I'm glad you liked this chapter.


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

Author's note: Hello everyone! If this is your first time reading through the fic welcome. And if you are a reviewer of mine then you are of course warmly welcomed back. I'll even make it a virtual chocolate welcome, that's how much I like you!

Disclaimer: So what exactly would happen if I did claim to own something? No, I'm not stupid enough to actually do it so fear not. But I just wondered. Out of a healthy fear of the imagined and real horrors that would await me, should I indeed do something so foolish as to open that Pandora's Box, I respectfully disclaim ownership of the characters herein and whatever else I cannot claim.

"Ok honey. I'm going to get that. I'll call you in a little bit."

Jenny stood where she was as though rooted to the spot. It took a full minute for her to regain control of her limbs. When she did she turned slowly, clutching the railing of the stairs for support. She entered her room and closed her door softly behind her. Her mind whirling, she barely registered the sensation of her toes digging into the carpet as she crossed over to her bed. She seated herself on the edge and for a moment just sat there as if paralyzed. In the next instant she had fallen back sobbing for all she was worth.

It really was horrendously unfair. Her mom knew next to nothing about the true nature of the situation and yet with a few words she had done something Jenny wasn't sure she could ever forgive her for.

She had given her hope.

Jenny knew it was irrational and illogical. She shouldn't be allowed to feel hopeful about the circumstances. It wasn't right that she could hold out any hope at all that her fondest wish might come true. There was nothing at all to indicate that Jenny might be reunited with Julian.

But wait!

She bolted upright in her bed, tears stopping instantly. How could she forget? Julian had said that he thought their encounters might not be a dream after all!

Jenny smacked her palm to her head in annoyance. She should have been trying to fall asleep ages ago! She settled back down on top of her bed and closed her eyes. But she was too keyed up to sleep. She was bubbling over with anticipation over discovering what he could have possibly meant.

Was it possible that the elders had made a mistake when they carved out his name from the runestave? Did the fact that Julian had made it into her world before he faded out mean that the power of the runestave had been weakened, thus not fully destroying him?

If he wasn't a dream then where was he?

Oh no! What if he was trapped somewhere? What if the elders had been unable to carve him out and as a result he had become locked into the Shadow World? What if he was in some part where the elders couldn't find him?

That could make sense, Jenny realized with a smile. After all, how many times did the Shadow Men carve out one of their own? Surely there were enough foolish humans around that the Shadow Men were well occupied. At least they had to be occupied enough to not have to resort to killing each other off, right?

What if Julian had been the first? What if they had never before tried to kill one of their own? Maybe, just maybe they were only _assuming _they could end the existence of a Shadow Man!

Jenny fanned herself with her hands. She was becoming so caught up in these thoughts! Her cheeks were stained crimson and her breathing was as labored as if she had run a marathon.

She needed to come back down to earth. After all there was no proof that any of her wild speculations were grounded in reality. Looking around the room she tried in vain to find something to distract her from the feelings of exhilaration that were coursing through her veins. Finally she spied her book bag near her desk.

It was a slim chance that geometry homework would be able to engross her enough but it was worth a shot. Besides, she may very well find it so boring that she could fall asleep and thus be with Julian she reasoned, brightening considerably at the notion.

However she did manage to get through half of the work without falling asleep. That was mainly due to her mom calling up to her and asking her to come down for dinner.

Her mother waited for her at the bottom of the stairs and frowned when she noticed the red, puffy eyes and reddened nose her daughter was sporting. It was to her credit though that she said nothing, choosing instead to envelop her in a tight hug.

Her father, on the other hand, wasn't nearly so silent. He took one look at his daughter's face when she walked into the dining room and sprung out of his chair, walking over to her in brisk strides.

"What happened?" he asked, placing his hands on her shoulders and gazing into her eyes as if the answer would be found there.

"Tom and I broke up today."

"What!" he exclaimed, looking over to Jenny's mother for confirmation. When she nodded he turned back and embraced Jenny, stroking her hair and rubbing her back.

"What did he do? Did he hurt you? Are you okay?"

Her dad's over protectiveness made Jenny smile.

"He didn't do anything. No, he didn't hurt me and I will be okay." Her voice was muffled a little by her dad's shirt.

"Thanks dad." She disentangled herself from his hug and made her way to the table, sitting across from her brother. He looked as shocked as everyone else and there was a tinge of nervousness about him, as if he were unsure of how to act around her. He kept glancing at her as if he expected her to break down in tears at any moment.

After everyone had been seated her father turned to Jenny.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Umm, there's not really too much to say."

"Well, what do your friends think?" Obviously once she had affirmed that she would be okay Jenny had opened herself up to interrogation. At least her father had taken that as a cue to get the whole story.

"They don't know yet."

"Oh."

He seemed deflated and better yet, out of questions. At least for the moment. But he was never at a loss for words for long and this was no different. But he at least turned the talk to safer topics.

"So how are you doing in Spanish class?"

"Muy bien, gracias." They all smiled at the ease with which she slipped into the language.

"And what about geometry?"

"Well we have started to review for the final and as long as I can remember the formulas I guess I will do pretty well. There's talk that she's going to let us use a small cheat sheet so that should help."

"Even if she doesn't I'm sure you'll do just fine." Her mother assured her, giving Jenny's hand a small squeeze.

"What's new in history?"

"Nothing…it's all in the past."

Her dad chuckled at the long-standing joke. Her father's corny sense of humor was one of the things Jenny loved the most about him.

"How did your English assignment turn out? Were you able to find the etymology and quotes centered on that word you were looking for?"

"Oh yes. Thanks for the website address, too. It really made searching for the quotes easier."

"I'm glad to hear it. All your other classes pretty much reviewing for the finals at this point?"

"Yes, except for computers. He decided that we're not going to have a final test but instead he's assigned us a final project."

"Oh, what's that going to be?"

"Well we have to design a website. We're learning how to use Visual Basic, java script, COBOL, and some other graphic design stuff. It's going to be pass/fail and we're working with partners. He thinks it's more important that we focus on actually learning the stuff in a practical way. He wants us to feel like we're not under so much pressure that we have to memorize everything. So everyone is working together as a class and then we implement the stuff we've learned into our own pages."

"Well let me know if you need any help. And I'd like to see it when it's up and running, too."

"Sure thing dad."

"Well honey that was an outstanding meal. I'm so glad I didn't have to cook today." Her dad announced as he leaned over to give their mom a quick kiss.

Jenny met her brother's eyes and they both made gagging motions. When their parents noticed she and Joey broke out in laughter.

"Ha ha you two. Come on and help me clear the table," their mom said, rising out of her chair, "We have to leave your father here to contemplate what he's going to cook for us tomorrow."

"You're almost as funny as the kids, dear." Their dad announced.

Jenny was starting to think she was home free when she finished helping her mom and started up the stairs to her room again. But her brother followed and suddenly asked a question from behind her, startling her.

"Are you and Tom and everybody still going to be friends?"

It was an innocent enough question but unfortunately not one that she had really given any thought to.

"That's a good question and I don't really know the answer, to tell you the truth. I guess it depends on how everyone reacts to the news."

As she concentrated on finishing her homework later that night she couldn't help but be drawn back to the question again and again. It was really starting to worry her. What would her friends think? How would they react?

After a while she recognized the futility of worrying about it. Sure, she could call everyone and tell them. But she didn't want to do that. She didn't really feel like dealing with the interrogation she knew would follow the announcement. Besides, she and Tom needed to be on the same page in terms of their friendship…specifically how they were going to act around everyone. She figured that it all depended on how she and Tom interacted in each other's presence. If there was weirdness between them then chances were pretty good that everyone else would feel uncomfortable and not sure how to behave around the two of them.

Sighing she went back to finishing her homework, waiting for the time when she would feel sleepy enough to crawl into bed and go meet Julian.


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

Author's note: First and foremost I must thank the reviewers! You guys rock!

Chapter 26

Forest Elfin I'm glad that Jenny's parents seem to be a little bit like typical parents. It's hard to write them. Your thoughts give me hope that I am on the write track.

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me I know you need Julian and trust me, he is a heavy hitter in this chapter. 

Shadow Well here I was all proud of my updating and then boom, a week goes by without anything. Oi vey! I will try to do better!

Chapter 27

Kristen Michelle Well I don't know if this chapter is going to help you decide that Jenny should be with either one for sure…Ok, I have a deal for you. You can have Julian if I can have an unattached Orlando Bloom (I'm not about to disrespect his woman)…is that fair? I'm glad that you are willing to keep an open mind about Hermione and Draco. Most people like Ginny with Harry, personally I like them together but I am not opposed to reading other ships either. A good fic is a good fic!

Forest Elfin Please don't make yourself dizzy spinning around too much! I don't want you to cause bodily harm to yourself! Yes I did notice and thanks so much for the congratulations! That is so sweet that *you* noticed! Yes, Jenny's mom asking about the other guy was *totally* based on what my own mom would do! 

Shadow Still no Julian until this chapter, and I'm sorry. I promise it has him in it throughout!

Amber Evans Potter Of COURSE I didn't think you seriously wanted me hurt!!! You are just being silly! I'm sorry if my teasing you about it gave you a complex. It's really wonderful to know that you like my story so much. Sorry that my rate of chapter-posting has dwindled slightly…I'm going to do my best to get them up here!

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me Sorry about Jenny's mom…it's hard to write her. Yes, narcoleptic Jenny has some appeal…we'll see.

Chapter 28

Cat    You liked it so much you posted twice and I appreciate it! Hopefully it will keep your attention for a long while to come!

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me Yes, you have to feel a little bad for Jenny. I promise Julian in this chapter…cross my heart, hope to break all of my fingers and be unable to type!

JLF Boy do I hear you! And hey, I'm just thankful you remembered about the fic and were interested enough to come back and check it out! You're great!

Disclaimer: The only thing I claim is that Julian will be making a scheduled appearance herein. Other than that nah, I don't claim anything.

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It took her until well after midnight to fall asleep. When she opened her eyes she wasn't sure that she was really sleeping. Looking around her she took in the lilac colored walls and pale green curtains that usually adorned her room. She was in the exact position she had been in only moments before—curled up on her left side facing the door.

What gave it away as being a dream was the item she found herself clutching. Glancing toward her arms she found a stuffed animal held within her embrace. It was her beloved rabbit, Leo. To the casual observer it was obvious that this bunny had seen better days--matted gray fur hung where once there was fluffy white fabric and one glassy pink eye was held on by only the barest of silver threads. If this animal could only talk, oh the stories he would tell!  He had been forgotten along with many other childhood things and had clearly looked better once upon a time but to Jenny nothing had ever looked more welcoming.

How could she have forgotten about Leo? She used to take him everywhere! How long had it been since she had held him within her arms, taking comfort in his unblinking stare which reassured her that someone would always watch over her? Jenny propped herself up against the ivory headboard and smoothed the fur against her cheek, becoming a little misty-eyed as the sensation brought back some long-cherished memories. Turning her head she buried her nose in his fur and inhaled deeply. 

It was just as she had remembered! It was the smell of old books and yes, a little bit of the ocean's tang still remained from the time Leo had been taken into the Pacific for a swim. The faintest trace of peppermint seemed to suddenly waft into her nose and with it came the realization that Jenny knew without a doubt the last time she had held Leo in her arms.

It was the day after her grandfather disappeared.

She could relive the day with startling clarity. It was a little odd considering how young she had been. No one had listened to the young child's incessant demands that the adults listen to her, and she couldn't understand why. They were all asking where her grandpa had gone and Jenny knew the answer…why wouldn't they believe her?

It was when her mom had announced that they were going to go back home that Jenny knew she had to do something. They couldn't just leave her grandpa! What if he came back and no one was there?

Upon seeing Jenny's tears her mom had promised that they would return very soon—which of course they never did. But Jenny was still afraid that her grandpa would return and would be all alone until her family made their way to him. This upset her until she came upon the idea of leaving Leo for her grandpa.

She didn't really want to leave Leo but her mom and dad kept saying that grandpa would be back soon so it really wouldn't be that long, right? And it would be a nice thing to do for her grandpa. So she tiptoed up the stairs to the top floor of the house while her parents were packing the car. Turning to her right she slowly made her way down the long hallway to her grandpa's room. Pushing the door open she jumped when the hinges squeaked. Shuffling her feet she quietly worked her way over to grandpa's closet. 

Remembering what had happened the last time she opened a closet scared her, though, and so she abandoned the plan of leaving Leo there. Instead she decided to leave him on the bed so his smiling face would be there to greet grandpa the minute he walked through the door.

She carefully arranged Leo so that he was seated at the very edge of the bed facing the door. It would be impossible to miss him! Her happy smile at this quickly turned into tears as she realized it was time to say goodbye to her beloved Leo. Oh she hoped her grandpa would come back soon! She stopped crying only when her dad's voice reached her.

"Jenny? Where are you?"

Sniffling loudly Jenny indicated that she was up in her grandpa's room. Her father took one look at her runny nose and beet-red face and dropped to his knees to engulf her in a warm hug.

"What are you doing up here, sweetheart?"

Pointing to Leo Jenny told her father of her intentions. His face blanched and his eyes widened. Jenny didn't understand the look he was giving her.

"What's the matter, daddy?"

Shaking his head he cleared his throat before replying.

"Nothing, honey. It's just that you don't have to do this."

"Yes I do. If we go no one is going to be here when grandpa gets back and he'll be all alone. So Leo can stay here for a while until we can come back. That way someone will be here all the time."

"But it might be a while before we can make it back, Jenny."

"But mommy said grandpa won't be gone long, right?"

And though he searched for the words he couldn't find them. So instead he let Jenny leave her most treasured possession behind for a man he never thought he would see again.

So why did her brain cause her to think of Leo now? It had been so very long. She smiled and sniffed a little, wiping her nose on her sleeve. She had forgotten how much comfort could be found in a beloved childhood companion like Leo.

Speaking of comfort, there was someone else who could give her exactly what she needed right now. She didn't hesitate as she called out to him.

"Julian?" her voice sounded a little hoarse and full of unshed tears.

He appeared and whatever he may have wanted to say died when his glance fell on Leo.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Tom and I broke up today." 

Boy, she was getting the hang of this. What was this, the third time today she had to deliver the news?

There was no gleam of triumph in his eyes, no self-satisfied smirk across his lips. Jenny wished there was so she could be upset with Julian and have some anger instead of this weighty sadness that seemed to suddenly pervade her every pore. 

He seemed genuinely distressed by the news. She briefly considered getting angry and lashing out with a caustic remark about his reaction seeing as it was no secret that there was no love lost between Julian and Tom. By all rights he should be happy about the announcement. But she had to give him more credit than that. 

And so it was partly her inability to pick a fight that led to her tears. But mostly it was looking at Julian and realizing full force what she had given up and what she was now free to claim but could never have. 

Julian stretched out on the bed beside her and gently turned her toward him. She complied without hesitation and lay down on his chest, sobbing with an intensity that was painful to behold.

Julian **was** upset by the declaration because Jenny was upset by it. He didn't want to see her in any pain. Her suffering was something he lived to alleviate. In the past he had shielded her from so much—animal bites and attacks by strangers, for instance. But now that he wasn't by her side like he used to be he couldn't help but feel frustrated by his inability to protect her. 

Plus he had to deal with the guilt of knowing that he was at least partially, if not wholly responsible for the break up. He had always felt that there would come a time when Jenny and Tom broke up, regardless of his involvement or lack thereof. However, he still was uncomfortable knowing that he may have hastened the relationship's demise, especially seeing as he and Jenny weren't able to be together either. Well, not technically.

"I'm so sorry, Jenny. I'm so sorry." He kept repeating the words and stroking her arm and her back with a gentle, soothing motion.

Finally she wore herself out and had to contend with hiccups and an extremely dry throat. She cast a glance toward his features and was surprised at the emotion she saw there. He wasn't looking at her and appeared to be lost in thought and upset by whatever he was imagining.

 "Penny for your thoughts?" she croaked out. He tilted his gaze to her face and she flushed as she realized how horrible she must look.

"Sorry," she said, pulling upright and looking away for a moment. She couldn't suppress a giggle as he produced a handkerchief and waved it in front of her face.

"Thanks," she told him as she accepted the gift and wiped her eyes, "So what's got you so lost in thought over there?"

"It's nothing." He assured her but sighed when her look clearly indicated that she wasn't going to accept that.

"It's just that I feel guilty. I know this is my fault.  I wish I could do something to change what you're going through, make everything better. But I can't and I hate feeling so helpless."

"What do you mean?" her voice was low and cracked a bit.

"I know you and Tom wouldn't have broken up if I hadn't entered the picture."

"So are you saying you regret everything that happened between us?"

"No! No! Not at all! I wouldn't trade any moment I've shared with you for anything, unless I thought it would make you happy."

"Well it wouldn't so just stop beating yourself over the head. And as far as you being helpless goes well that's just crazy talk."

He looked at her through narrowed eyes and assessed her features, indicating that if anyone was crazy it was definitely her. She rolled her eyes at his perusal.

"I'm not crazy. You are a help to me. Being here with me now, when I need you, is a comfort. Knowing I can turn to you, cry on your shoulder, talk everything through with you, have you hold me all night if I need you—it's all a source of such reassurance and joy for me. I welcome your presence in my life and I'm not about to go wishing it away."

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead, resting his cheek on the top of her head. Sometimes he felt as though he couldn't possibly love Jenny more and then she would go and do something, say something and he would become overwhelmed. It was the most bittersweet feeling he had ever experienced.

"Does this mean you want to talk through what happened with me?" he asked, but his brain was silently pleading _say no say no say no say no say no._

"Is that okay?" Jenny twisted out of his embrace and looked at him, chewing her bottom lip as she tried to gauge his emotional state. "It's just that it would probably be a good thing if I practice giving the details since I'm sure the gang won't be as easily put off as my folks were."

"So no one outside of your family knows?" 

Well that was a horse of a different color! If no one else knew then it wasn't as if she was going through it for the millionth time. And if it would help her, like she said, then Julian knew he couldn't deny her.

"No. I decided it would be easier to just sleep on it and tell them all tomorrow."

"Assuming of course that Tommy didn't already spill the beans."

"Oh my gosh! I didn't even think of that! Oh no! Do you think he told anyone?"

That was a pretty thoughtless comment Julian realized. He hastened to reassure her.

"I'd be willing to bet that he didn't say anything."

"How can you be sure?"

Julian shrugged.

"Well it seems more of a girl thing to want to tell people. Guys seem to want to keep that kind of stuff to themselves."

Jenny let his logic tumble around in her mind. She nodded as she came to the conclusion that Julian was probably right. It really didn't seem like Tommy, er make that Tom she mentally corrected, to go off and tell anyone about it. He was probably hoping _she_ would save _him_ from having to say anything.

"You're right," She informed Julian, "Well, how should I begin?"

"Start however you feel comfortable and take your time."

"There's just no easy way to do this." Jenny said and then shook her head. How ironic!

"Déjà vu," she whispered.

"Why's that?" Julian asked.

"That's how Tom started the conversation," she explained, "then I laughed because it all seemed so bizarre. I mean, a few months ago I would have never thought _that _conversation would ever take place, you know?"

He simply nodded and waited for her to continue.


	30. Chapter Thirty

From now on all author's notes and disclaimers will be at the bottom so those who do not wish to read them do not have to.

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"So I decided to just grab the bull by the horns and quit procrastinating. I mean, it wasn't going to get any easier. And I told him I thought we were breaking up, and was I right?"

"What did he say?" Julian asked, propelled by a morbid sense of curiosity.

Jenny turned to face him and once again the faint sheen of tears veiled her eyes.

"He said 'Yes.' And I never thought about what it would sound like to hear it…" she trailed off for a minute, clearly reliving the experience, "And then I asked him 'What happened to us?' At first he just said he didn't know. But I knew. And I knew that he just didn't want to say it so I did. I told him I thought it started with The Games."

"You actually said that?" Julian blurted out.

When Jenny looked at him she could tell he wasn't only surprised, he was proud of her. That made her smile, but it was short-lived as she continued.

"Yeah, I did. And Tom agreed. So then for a moment I panicked and didn't want to go through with it and so I asked him 'Why can't things go back to the way they were before?'"

Jenny couldn't look at him as she said that, though. She didn't want to see if he was disappointed in her.

"And I was angry when I said it and so I guess that made Tom annoyed because he snapped at me. He said 'Because of **him, that's why.'"**

She braved a glance at Julian but his expression was inscrutable. She looked away as she continued.

"I was so shocked to hear Tom say that. I mean, it wasn't that I didn't agree with him, it was just weird to imagine him even thinking it, let alone to hear him say it."

"So what did you say?" Julian's question drew Jenny's attention back to him.

"I asked him what about you, I mean, him. And he said 'You know,' which got me upset because I know how hard it was to talk about but if we were going to get everything out in the open then we needed to say it, no matter how hurtful it was to express or hear. So I made some smart-ass comment about being psychic so it wasn't necessary to tell me anything. It was pretty immature." 

"How did he respond?"

"Well it took some nagging but he finally started talking. Or yelling, to be more precise. He shouted at me, saying how could I do that?"

"Do what?" Julian asked. Jenny smiled.

"Took the words right out of my mouth. And Tom yelled 'Be like that with him! Do you have any idea how that felt?'"

Jenny looked over at Julian and shrugged at the confused expression he wore. It mirrored the one she sported when Tom had been talking to her.

"So I was confused and I asked him to explain in a little bit more detail. That's when he shouted that he saw me kiss you."

"Which time?" Julian asked. It was too much. Jenny started to laugh. They were really a lot alike.

"What's so funny?" Julian's voice cut through her mirth.

"It's just that those were my thoughts **exactly. I didn't say it, though," she quieted her laughter as she thought of what happened next, "So Tom launches into an explanation of how mad he was that we kissed at the end of the first Game and demanded to know if I had any idea how it felt to see how that kiss affected me?"**

"What happened next?"

"So I told him the truth. That I didn't know. How could I? It was the first time he'd ever talked about **any of that with me. At length, anyway."**

Julian let her trail off and gather her thoughts after that comment. He was taken aback by a few of the things Tom had said to her. It took real guts, for both of them, to dare to utter some of the thoughts they had harbored.

"And then, oh god Julian, it was horrible. He said that he keeps seeing it happen."

_Do I want to know what she's talking about?_ Julian asked himself. _No, you really don't, he decided._

"He was talking about the kiss."

Well that clears that up.

"He said he noticed that it was you who ended it. And then he told me that I didn't even try to fight. He said he still can't get over it."

_"_Did he ask why you did it?" Julian wanted to know. Jenny shot him a glance. This was starting to creep her out a little. It was just what she had been thinking, _again_.

"What? Are you psychic? No! Thank god! He provided his own answer."

"Which was?"

 "He figured I was just trying to help them, you know, get it over as fast as possible. But then we just kept kissing and…"

"And what?"

"He said the part that killed him was when we finally stopped kissing. Because when we stopped I opened my eyes. And when I did that," here she paused much as Tom had done when he had uttered the words, "He said he looked at me and knew. That he supposed anyone who was looking knew, but he saw it first. I looked at you as if I **wanted you. For just a moment Tom _knew--I wanted ****__you. I wanted you to kiss me again."_**

Julian decided that he didn't want to talk about this anymore tonight. And it would probably do Jenny some good to get her mind off of it for a little while. After all come morning it would be all anyone would talk to her about for a long time. So after a quick internal debate he decided to tease Jenny a little.

"And was he right?" Julian queried.

Jenny was thrown for a moment.

"Right about what?"

"About what he saw when you opened your eyes after that kiss."

She blushed and looked away although she wasn't entirely sure why she reacted that way. Why was he asking her that? It's not as if he didn't know the answer.

"Like you don't know." She scoffed at him.

"Maybe I don't. Maybe I only _think I know the answer. So humor me and answer the question."_

"Could you repeat the question?"

He rolled his eyes but complied.

"Yes, Tom was right. Ok? Are you happy now?"

"Not yet. What was Tom right about?"

What in the world was he playing at?

"What? What are you getting at? What do you mean what was Tom right about? He was right about what he saw, okay?"

He grasped her elbow and gently tugged until she was facing him. But she wouldn't meet his gaze. He cupped the side of her face with his hand and tilted her chin up with his thumb. He used his free hand to stroke her cheek and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She shivered slightly and leaned into his touch, closing her eyes as she did.

"Give me the words, Jenny."

She reluctantly opened her eyes and met his stare. Was it really that important that she admit to it? Why was she so hesitant to do so, anyway? Probably because she was already pretty vulnerable where Julian was concerned, she reasoned. But if it would make him happy she could do it.

"Yes, Tom was right. When I opened my eyes after that kiss at the end of the first Game I wanted you to kiss me again."

He smiled down at her and looped his arm around her shoulders to pull her to him. He was in the process of moving his hand from the side of her face when she spoke again.

"But…"

He cradled her within his arms and looked down at her, curious.

"Yes?"

"But I also wanted you in _every sense of the word."_

It was her turn to smile at him, but her grin was short-lived as Julian crushed her lips to his. Pulling them both up to rest against the headboard Julian devoured her mouth and slid the fingers of one hand into her hair while the other hand caressed the base of her neck, sending thousands of delightful shivers down Jenny's spine.

Ooh boy! Jenny was going to have to remember this trick for later. If all Julian wanted was for her to say she wanted him in return for some quality kissing then she was sure she could come up with some creative ways of conveying the message!

Jenny traced Julian's lower lip with her tongue and was rewarded with a groan from deep within him. She smiled against his mouth and lifted her lips to move them to his jaw line when her alarm clock suddenly blared; startling her so much she immediately woke up.

Slamming her fist down on the snooze button she snarled, angry she had been so rudely interrupted. She was still grumbling as she returned to her room after her shower. Then a thought occurred to her which made her even more impatient for the day to be over.

She had forgotten to ask Julian about his earlier comment and what he had meant by saying he thought they weren't interacting in a dream.

Damn.

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Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used in the production of this story. Believe me, I'd be the first to tell you if I did.

Author's Notes: Well the reviewers are more important than anything so I'll get on with this chapter's thank you section

Chapter 29

Cat --So I have found a fellow admirer of Mr. Bloom in you, hmm? I wish I actually knew him so I could say something about him personally instead of sticking with the old standby but it will have to do…he is just such a beautiful man! Hee hee.

Amber Evans Potter—heh heh. Smut, hmm? Yeah, I know a lot of ppl are clamoring for the return to the heat and I'm glad you realize that I have to get the actual plot points taken care of…I don't want this to disintegrate into a PWP story. Well ok, it wouldn't be the end of the world if it did but still….anyway I'm sending a prayer heavenward that your writer's block goes away!

Skyfire—So did you finish reading this chapter and remain happy with the parts with Julian…maybe frustrated at where it left off? Sorry!

-pixxi—I'm looking forward to the Twilight Zone Refrigerator…Your story about Teddy was so touching, and I'm glad you could relate to Leo…I especially liked the part about his haircut. It reminded me of the time my mom cut one of my Barbie's hair really really short so my sister and I could pretend she was Ken…talk about the messages THAT sent. Ok, enough of my own nostalgic rant. As for the snog-a-thon, yeah, I'm guessing you're not too happy about this chapter? Sorry! I want to get back there ASAP but I need to have Jenny go to school, but fortunately finals are coming up and then she'll (presumably) have all summer free for nice steamy romance….

Shadow—You too, huh? I had some serious server problems all this week (stupid weather patterns). Thanks for checking in!

-pixxi—Yes, I'm writing again because you cared enough to leave another great review for me. First of all, the song I always think of for book three is "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. Especially considering the end of the book. I don't off hand recognize either song you put down but now I am a woman on a mission and by the time the next chapter is up I WILL have listened to them! Yes, I'm sure Julian was getting lonely and in fact we may soon read about Julian and what he does to curb the loneliness between visits. Nigerian Sleeping Flu, eh? There is some kind of sleeping sickness out there, and maybe Jenny can come down with it! Ok, there's my two cents.


	31. Chapter Thirty One

Again Jenny seized the opportunity to damn his blue eyes to hell. If only he hadn't distracted her she may have actually gotten around to getting an answer.

But the corner of her mouth twitched and her impatience and disagreeable humor melted away as she recalled just how _thoroughly she had been distracted and how very __very much she had enjoyed it._

Maybe she could call in sick today and go back to bed? The idea was so tempting. She could curl up, fall asleep, pick up right where they left off…Jenny closed her eyes and imagined the scene.

She had just lifted her lips to kiss along Julian's jaw line. Maybe she would have given him a playful nip just below his ear. If he had allowed it she would have continued kissing her way down his neck, her fingers weaving themselves through that incredibly soft frost-white hair.

But more likely than not Julian would have grown impatient and wanted his lips on hers. And so he would have guided her lips back up to meet his in a ravenous kiss that would have left her breathless and incapable of thought.

Jenny sighed and opened her eyes slowly and with a great deal of reluctance. It sounded like paradise to her. And it's not like her mom and dad would be against it. After all, she had the perfect excuse in her breakup with Tom. They would think she was simply overwrought and needed a breather.

But…

That was exactly the reason she needed to go to school today. If she didn't go and Tom told their friends about the breakup then they would all assume she was completely distraught and beside herself. And that was definitely not the impression she needed to be giving. So with a last mournful look at her bed she made her way to her dresser and selected the day's outfit.

As she felt the blacktop of the school parking lot beneath her feet she feverishly wished for a moment she had indeed called everyone and told them about the breakup. Then they would be waiting for her with hugs and expressions of sympathy and she wouldn't have to worry like she was now. It would be over. But as she breathed deeply and caught the smell of some nearby rosebushes she calmed down and amended her wish to one that was simply to have called Tom and talked with him about their strategy.

She grated her teeth together as she thought about how callous and selfish that sounded. Here she was, worrying about **her feelings, ****her thoughts, how people would react to ****her, and barely giving more than a passing thought to all those things from _Tom's_ perspective. She really needed to try and be more sympathetic. After all, the breakup was just as painful for him as it was for her.**

Of course, Tom _did_ have the luxury (if you could call it that) of being able to seek out a new romantic interest once the painful feelings associated with this breakup faded into a dull ache, she reminded herself nastily.

At least there was that light at the end of the tunnel, never mind just how long that tunnel looked now. Jenny, on the other hand, had to contend not only with getting over this breakup but also with the cessation of her relationship with Julian. 

Where had _that _thought come from? Staring at the imposing brick building, watching her classmates as they clamored together and gossiped and laughed, Jenny was suddenly overcome with a feeling of depression. Whatever the source her mind was right—her relationship with Julian would surely have to end, unless by some miracle she actually remembered to ask him about that comment and in his answer was somehow their salvation.

But Jenny acknowledged ruefully that she didn't really see any answer he could give which would result in his transformation from dream to reality.

Her musings were interrupted when she spotted Tom and the rest of her friends making their way into the school. She quickened her pace to reach them before they went inside.

"Hey guys," she called out, giving them all a small smile when they turned to face her. Her smile faltered when she met Tom's gaze, however. He looked unbelievably tired. He must have noticed her intense scrutiny and been amused however, for suddenly his mouth managed a small grin.

"Hi Jenny," they all took turns greeting her until it was Tom's turn.

"Would you guys mind if Jenny and I caught up with you all later?" he never glanced away from Jenny's face even as he addressed the group. Their friends exchanged meaningful glances but said nothing, just left. When they were out of earshot he indicated that she should follow him to a nearby maple tree where he proceeded to sit. 

"We need to talk." He announced.

"Okay," she replied as she sat down by him, careful to maintain a discreet amount of distance.

"I didn't tell them anything." He leaned his head back against the trunk, closing his eyes and sighing as he made the pronouncement.

"Oh." At first that was all Jenny could say. Casting a sideways glance at him she noted vaguely that the bark of the tree must make a rather uncomfortable pillow. Looking away she decided to focus her stare on the students who wandered from the parking lot or adjoining lawn into the school.

"You look like you didn't sleep well. Are you all right?" she finally asked in a hesitant voice.

He tilted his head towards the sound of her voice before opening his eyes. When he did he took a moment to first catalog her appearance. Jenny just let him look, refusing to say anything else for fear of repercussions. 

"Rough night." He managed to answer at last. "So how do you want to handle this?"

"I wish we didn't have to say anything." She mumbled, still not looking at him until the sound of his laughter, hollow as it was, reached her ears.

"Yeah, that would make things easier," he agreed. "But we don't have that luxury. It's probably best to get it over with now rather than later."

"All right," she said, lifting herself off the ground and using the tree as leverage to balance herself. "Why don't we split it up? I'll tell Dee, Zach and Summer and you can tell Audrey and Michael."

"Your choice of groups wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you have your first class with those three and likewise for me, would it?" he teased as he too made his way into a standing position.

"Well you're right. There's no sense putting it off. Plus they'll all have the chance to interact with one another without us until lunch so they can formulate a plan for how they're going to act around us." She replied with a smile as they made their way into the school.

"You think they're going to need a _plan?" Tom asked disbelief evident in his voice._

"It's bound to catch them off guard, don't you think?" she continued without waiting for an answer. "They'll probably do like we would do in the situation. They'll make a plan to feel like they have some feeling of control over what's happening."

Tom looked lost in thought for a moment.

"I guess so." He finally acknowledged.

They stopped walking when they came to the point in the hallway outside Jenny's classroom.

"Well I'll see you at lunch." Tom said, breaking the nervous tension that had suddenly sprung up between them.

"Yeah. And uh, Tom?" Jenny called out as he turned to leave.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." At his curious look she smiled and went on, "For trying to be normal with me. For handling this like you are. For everything."

Her face flushed crimson and she averted her eyes, unable to comprehend what an idiot she was being. She quickly turned and took a step towards the classroom door.

"Hey Jenny."

Tom's voice called her back and she pivoted to face him.

"Yeah?"

"Good luck." He gifted her with the first genuine smile she had seen from him in a while and she smiled back.

"You too." 

Still smiling she entered the classroom with the gait of one whose destination was a firing squad instead of a rendezvous with three of their best friends. Squaring her shoulders Jenny cast a quick glance at the clock. Noting she had about a minute until the teacher would demand they take their seats for roll call Jenny decided to just come right out with her announcement. After all what she had to say was sort of like a bomb and that's what you did with bombs, you dropped them.

"Hey Dee, Zach, Summer."

The sound of Jenny's greeting caused the trio to turn and look at her. Eyeing them Jenny noticed that they looked a tad bit guilty. _Probably were talking about Tom and me, she thought with an inward grimace._

"So uh, yeah. I have some news to tell you guys. Tom and I have broken up."

"What!" 

Zach shot out of his seat to face Jenny, his mouth hung open in shock. His outburst was all the more unexpected because as a rule he chose never to speak in school unless spoken to. He appeared seemingly unaware of the interested stares he was receiving from his classmates. 

"When did this happen?" Dee asked simultaneously along with Zach. She too rose from her seat to stand in front of Jenny.

"Are you okay?" Summer asked quietly, choosing to remain in her seat and thus avoid the now open speculation of their fellow classmates.

Jenny smiled down at Summer and chose to answer her first, taking her own seat as she did so.

"I'll be all right, thanks. It happened last night. And yes, I am serious."

The teacher chose that moment to try to regain some semblance of control and ordered everyone to take their seats.

"We'll talk about it later, okay?" Jenny whispered to her friends before turning her attention to the lesson.

Tom had been debating how to break the news all the way to his class. When he entered he nodded to those students who acknowledged him and made his way over to Audrey and Michael. The couple was deeply engaged in a conversation that Tom would almost guarantee was centered on him and Jenny.

"Hey guys." He addressed them as he slid into his seat.

Michael waved at him while Audrey peered intently at him in lieu of a greeting.

"So what's going on?"

Trust Audrey to cut right to the heart of the matter, Tom thought with a small grin.

"Well if you must know, I do have some news. Jenny and I have broken up."

"What!"

Whatever they thought he had been about to say must not have been close to the actual news Tom mused as he watched Michael react in a near-identical imitation of Zach.

"What happened?" Audrey wanted to know.

Just then their teacher asked for silence as he began to read the roll sheet.

"We'll talk later, okay?" Tom assured them as he twisted away and pretended to listen to the recitation of names.

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Disclaimer: For the thirtieth time I do not own the characters.

Author's Note: Here's the latest installment of the reviewer thank yous.

Shadow--Yes I agree. And I am moving quickly through the day to get Jenny home…or at least somewhere to take a nice long Julian-filled nap! So dry your tears and I promise to have some nice quality interaction between Julian and Jenny coming up!

pixxi--So you have a pack of Furbies at your beck and call, hmm? I admit to feeling a slight twinge of jealousy…I can't even get my dustbunnies to behave. Yes I really could see what you were talking about with those two songs, and I agree that the game's lyrics are a little hard to follow…so thanks for the link on that. Yeah, I also have to agree with you there about the whole Julian/OC thing…totally not my boat. I especially hate fics where Julian comes back and Tom beats him up or something else so OOC…I mean seriously. Ok…I'm off to work on the next chapter! 

Cassi--Hey! Thanks for writing! I never doubted your existence! Yes, she did wake up too fast, I admit it. But I have to have her go to school so I can get her asleep again…although it just may be time for her to fall into that coma I had her wishing Tom into earlier. I love Grease 2 as well…I always get such a kick out of finding other ppl who have even *heard* of it, much less loved it too! As for ER fics…never have really read them although I do watch the show every now and then. And actually, I was just thinking that a couple I'd like to see together would be Drs. Chen and Kovach…so maybe I'll have to mosey on over to FF.net and see if anyone else feels that way.

Venus Smurf --Thanks so much! I'm glad I was able to surprise you with their portrayal while not upsetting you with it either! I think sometimes parents get a harder time in fics than they should…I mean it's a lot easier to write them as horrible, or even easier to never have them enter into the picture! Tom may be every *parent's* dream but we certainly know who Jenny dreams of!

Venus Smurf--Hello again! Tom's gone but not forgotten…although it's really hard to imagine how they're going to be friends and it's my own fault for trying to keep them all mature and able to be friends in the first place. As far as her mom goes I like to see parents helping their kids out. I debated about having Jenny fess up about the truth but then her mom would ship her off somewhere…although if she gets all drugged up then she's asleep a lot…okay, now I have to go remind myself why I chose not to do that! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Cat--So I hope that your coursework is going okay…midterms are a total drag. Thanks so much for your encouragement…it means so much! I am so in line to see PotC! It can't come soon enough…But thankfully I have the four disc collection of FOTR to keep me in Mr. Bloom-related viewing for a while!


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

After finishing dinner Jenny laid her silverware down and pulled her chair back, ready to leave the table and go upstairs to her room. But as she stood her dad stopped her departure with an outstretched hand.

"Hey kiddo, before you go up I thought we could all play a board game together for a while. It's been far too long since we amused ourselves like we used to. What do you say?"

Jenny looked at her dad with no small amount of surprise. Then she cast a glance around the table. Her mom nodded her head and beamed a smile at her while her brother grinned and shrugged his shoulders as if to say it was up to her. Jenny shrugged back at her brother and turned to her dad with a smile.

"Ok. I'm in."

Although it felt as though time had flown by in reality it was only a scant few hours later that they rousing family board games were cleared away and everyone was stretching the various kinks out of their system. Jenny made her way over to her parents, wrapping her arms around each of them in turn for a deep embrace. Stepping back she looped her arm around her brother's shoulders and tousled his hair affectionately.

"Thanks guys. This was just what I needed."

"Anytime sweetie." Her mom said, wrapping her arms around her husband's waist and grinning up at him.

"Do you have any homework left?" Her dad asked.

"Ugh. Yes, but not too much. I should go get it over with so I can turn in a little early."

"Okay then, goodnight sweetheart."

"Hey Jenny, I'll race you upstairs!" Her brother called out as he broke free of her grip and made a mad dash for the staircase. Flinging an apologetic smile at her parents Jenny tore out of the room after him, her feet pounding the stairs in what proved to be a useless effort to catch her sibling.

"You're getting too fast for me," Jenny announced as she finally caught up with him outside of his door, "Of course if you didn't cheat all the time I might actually stand a decent chance."

"Ha! You'll use any excuse to not have to admit you lost, hmm?" Her brother teased.

She used her elbow to give him a playful nudge into his room.

"Get out of here, you. Talking all this crazy talk."

She continued to smile as she crossed the short distance to her room. Opening the door and closing it softly behind her she sagged against it, allowing it to hold her up for a moment. She eyed her bookbag with distaste, having no desire to do any homework. Not that this was a new feeling, but she felt that the events of the past few days were catching up on her. All she really wanted to do was go to sleep. And if a certain blue-eyed tempter awaited her? Well then so be it! She couldn't help the smile that broadened her cheeks.

Rationalizing that the sooner she started her homework the sooner she could get in a full night's sleep sparked Jenny's second wind and she sailed through the rest of her homework and was ready to go to sleep sooner than she had dared to hope. Stretching out under the sheets she tried to find a comfortable pose. Reaching down with a free hand she grabbed the comforter and pulled it up to her chin, snuggling into its warmth. She was asleep within moments.

Jenny felt the change that alerted her to her dream state before she opened her eyes. Instead of her soft cotton sheets she found herself encased in satin. Even if she didn't notice that she certainly would have been a fool to miss the dead giveaway--the fingers that were entwined with her own and the thumb that traced slow circles along the back of her hand.

Tightening her grip on Julian's fingers in a gesture of greeting she opened her eyes to find him contemplating her features. He was seated in a plush overstuffed chair pulled up close next to the bed in which she lay. 

"Hello." He said in a soft voice.

"Hi yourself." She responded in the same tone.

"So how did everything go today? Are you all right?"

This time the flexing of her fingers was involuntary as she reacted to the concern evident in his voice.

"It was okay." She grinned as she recalled the spirited game night her family had embarked upon hours before. "Actually, some parts of it were pretty nice."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

She tilted her head and considered both him and the question for a moment before nodding her reply. She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off by standing up and tugging gently on her hand. Confusion marred her brow for a moment but she dismissed it without thought and used her free hand to push the sheets away and lever herself into a standing position.

Julian led her across the room to a chair on the other side. As her feet made contact with the ground she was pleased to feel herself literally sink into the plush covering. Looking around she recognized her surroundings as those into which she had been brought after her near-death experience at Joyland Park. But there were some definite changes and they all served to make the atmosphere infinitely more welcoming this time around. A huge fireplace adorned one wall and a roaring fire blazed in front of her. This time the firelight was not the only source of light; there were crystals which seemed to shine with a glow emanating from somewhere within their own depths to help banish the gloom that had pervaded this place the first time around.

The seat appeared to be made out of black leather but as she sat down she quickly discovered that it was actually some material that was foreign to her. It conformed to her every curve and was like sitting in the softest hug imaginable. She was seated facing the fire and she found herself almost hypnotized by the dancing flames and burning embers.

"Tilt your head back," Julian said, jarring Jenny out of her momentary reverie. As she complied she was delighted to discover that her neck now received the same cuddling that the rest of her body experienced. She lifted her head and pulled her hair out of the way and settled back into it, sighing in contentment. 

The sigh quickly became a groan of pure bliss when she felt Julian slide his fingers into her hair to begin gently massaging her scalp. She closed her eyes to enjoy it and in doing so missed the look that passed across Julian's features. Her groan of contentment twisted his guts with a punch of desire and he had to grit his teeth. It took tremendous willpower to focus his ministrations on comforting Jenny, not seducing her.

For a few moments she simply reveled in the sensations and allowed herself to relax further with every movement of his fingers. Then she remembered she was supposed to be talking.

"So I realized when I got to school today that I was being selfish. All I could think about was how everything was relating to me and I was forgetting that the whole day was going to be just as hard on Tom as me. Tom and I talked before school and he told me that he hadn't told any of the gang anything. We decided to split up the job and I told Dee, Zach and Summer and he told Audrey and Michael."

"How did they take it?" He inquired politely, only intending to show some other emotion if Jenny indicated that she had been upset by someone. He thought that was for the best, seeing as he still inwardly seethed every time he even heard Tommy's name mentioned. He was in the midst of some serious internal scowling when Jenny's laughter reached his ears.

"Well the ones I told were shell-shocked. It was probably at least partly due to the fact that I waited until we had about a minute to go before our first class started. But I didn't want them to overload me with tons of questions that I wasn't ready to answer so yes, I took the coward's way out." She defended herself even though Julian hadn't sent so much as a disapproving glance her way.

"You should have seen Zach, though. He literally jumped out of his seat!" She chuckled at the memory. "Seriously, I think that move was enough to fuel the rumor mills for quite some time." She quickly sobered again and launched into the rest of her story.

"So then at lunch Tom and I met up to compare notes before going outside to face the gang, and from what he told me Audrey and Michael reacted pretty much the same way as everyone else. Our little powwow gave the group enough time to talk everything over with each other and by the time Tom and I joined them they had a whole plan of attack worked out."

"And what was the plan?" Julian couldn't help but ask and he feared the response as Jenny tensed beneath his hands. He smiled to himself as he conjured the one thing guaranteed to sooth away her anxiety.

"Oh God that's wonderful," Jenny practically purred when she felt the first stroke of a brush through her hair. From the feel of it the brush was a large paddle with a soft base and just the right amount of bristles. 

She had always loved getting her hair brushed but over the past few years the only time another person had done it was at the hair salon or every now and again at a slumber party one of her girlfriends would do it during one of their makeover sessions. A delightful tingle worked its way through her body originating from each spot where the brush caressed her tresses. She felt so calm that she forgot any worry she had been feeling and continued on with the account.

"Well all eyes were on us as we threaded our way through the crowd to the table. My legs felt like they were made of lead. My cheeks must have been as red as beets. I knew everyone was talking about us from the hushed voices and stares we got. When we reached our seats I just wanted to curl up and hide, I was so uncomfortable. It seems that Zach's little maneuver made everyone wonder just what was up. And I guess that the fact that Tom and I walked out together confused everyone which was fine by me."

She paused as Julian's fingers began to follow the touch of the brush. She shuddered involuntarily and arched up into the contact, moaning her approval loudly. Julian smirked at her reaction, feeling inordinately pleased with himself. Jenny couldn't work up to the embarrassment she was sure she should feel in a situation like this. But she did dimly recall being in the middle of a thought before Julian had decided to turn her brain to mush.

"Where was I? Oh yeah. But actually the whole big plan apparently consisted of the rest of the crew telling us that we'd all talk later—the girls told me that we'd be having a slumber party this weekend—and then all of us spending the remainder of lunch and any classes we had together talking about finals, going over our notes and whatnot. So it wasn't that bad."

Once she was done she relaxed back into the seat and gave herself over completely to the sensations coursing through her. She felt delightfully boneless. Jenny decided that if she ever got the chance to dictate what heaven would be like that she would be sure to include Julian brushing her hair for her. She whimpered in protest when he stopped and her eyes slowly lifted open as she felt herself being picked up. Sighing in happiness again she curled into Julian's chest, reveling in the sensation of being held within his arms.

He tucked her into the large bed and she wormed her way into the covers, thinking that life couldn't really get much better unless of course Julian were to join her. No sooner had the thought flittered into her consciousness than she felt the bed depress with his weight. He curled his body around her, snaking an arm around her waist to anchor her to him. She wiggled backward to fit herself to him. The rhythmic feeling of his breath on her temple made her feel even drowsier.

"This is so perfect," she whispered to him, "It's exactly what I need. I lied earlier."

He kissed her hair and leaned down to her ear to whisper back.

"When was that?"

"I told my folks that family game night was just what I needed. But I'd trade it in a heartbeat for you."

He chuckled and smoothed her hair away from her face.

"Sleep well, my love."

Jenny smiled at the absurdity of falling asleep within a dream but then she was wrapped in darkness and thought no more.

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Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and if you sue me I won't be held responsible for the condition in which you find anything you take.

Author's Notes: Next batch of thank-yous:

Cassi—No Tom in this chapter! I hope you're pleased! 

Cat—I'm so glad you approve of the guessing thing, although I must confess it's not entirely on purpose. I just want it to be perfect. Thanks so much for saying that you're excited about seeing where this goes…it helps me get even more excited about writing it!

Pixxi-The study of Guam lizard documents? Lol! Hey, I wouldn't give you angry reviews…I have faith in you that you say you'll finish then you'll finish! I still think The Calling's song "Wherever You Will Go" is perfect for the third book but I'm trying to find something else…I'm leaning toward a Phish song right now. I'm glad you like the chapter. Yeah, well Jenny is sort of just ranting mentally right now…I don't think she's ending her relationship with Julian just yet. Good luck with your science research project!

Clare—Hey! Thanks so much for writing! I too have read the trilogy oodles of times and was bitter over the ending. I am trying to update as quickly possible I promise! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Venus Smurf—You crack me up! It doesn't matter if you mix up the chapters and reviews…I'm just tickled that you care enough to review in the first place! This first review had me blushing! You are going to give me a huge head with your lavish praise! And hey, don't worry about being mushy. It doesn't bother me in the least! I have to agree with you about stealing Julian…would that I could find him!

Venus Smurf –I'm serious, you are just inflating my ego and making me do my impression of a tomato with all the blushing! Thank you so much for reviewing and being so kind when you do so…I always look forward to one of your reviews and your faith in where I'm taking the story is inspiring!


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

Jenny opened her eyes slowly and as she felt herself come fully awake she smiled. She considered last night possibly the best sleep of her life. She was renewed and filled with energy. She debated the best use of this vigor and decided that what she really wanted to do was spend some time expending it with Julian. A plan was quickly formulated and she swung up into a sitting position and stretched out, tossing the covers aside.

Part one of her plan was enacted as soon as she entered the kitchen. Giving her mom a small smile Jenny walked over to the cabinet and searched for a glass. While her face was hidden she thought of her last steamy encounter with Julian. She imagined his lips trailing kisses down her neck and found herself absently rubbing her neck as if she could indeed feel him. By the time she found her tumbler and closed the door she was slightly flushed, a fact which did not escape her mother's attention.

"Jenny? Are you okay? You look a little flushed." As she spoke she made her way over to place her hand against Jenny's forehead.

"I do feel a little hot but I'm sure it's nothing."

Her mom just continued to look at her and finally Jenny turned to her.

"I'll eat a big breakfast and that'll help."

"You should stay home if you feel sick."

"Yeah maybe but I have some reviews in my classes that I probably shouldn't miss."

"I don't know…" her mom trailed off, still uneasy about sending a sick child to school.

"I'll tell you what. I'll go to school and if I still feel a bit off by lunch time I'll go see the nurse and lay down for a while. How's that?"

Her mom pondered the suggestion before nodding her head slowly in a gesture of agreement.

After a hearty breakfast of French toast and an egg-white omelet Jenny swigged down the last of her glass of water and kissed her mom goodbye and prepared to leave the house for school.

"I want you to come straight home and go right to bed when you get here." Her mom announced and it was clear that her tone brooked no argument.

"Fair enough." Jenny said, barely suppressing her smile. "See you tonight."

Once she was clear of the house she finally let loose with the grin she had been holding in. Part one was a complete success. Sure, she could have stayed home with almost no effort but this way would work to her advantage. This way she could do exactly as her mom dictated and go straight to sleep when she came home without question and she had managed to leave a window open for her to stay home tomorrow from school. Now all she had to do was get through her classes until lunch. Then she could go to the nurse's station and lay down, hopefully to nap the rest of the school day away.

It was a few hours later that Jenny found herself outside of the nurse's office. Taking a deep breath she once again summoned some arousing imagery to help her out. This time she imagined that Julian hadn't stopped her from removing her shirt. What would he have done? What would she have liked him to do? With her eyes closed she could almost feel his hands on her skin, stroking her abdomen with feathery touches before slowly moving his fingers upwards, caressing her ribcage until finally…Her eyes flew open and she glanced around worriedly, afraid that someone was around to witness her little display.

When she opened the door to the nurse's office she was more flushed than she had intended to be, but that worked to her advantage. The nurse took one look at the heat in Jenny's cheeks and began fussing over her.

"Oh my goodness! Look at you!"

"Uh hi. I was just wondering if you had a cold compress or something I could use for a few minutes. I feel a bit hot."

The nurse had latched onto Jenny's arm and proceeded to pull her towards a cot during Jenny's polite inquiry.

"You're not leaving here until I get that fever under control. Maybe after you've rested for a while you can go back to class." She stuck a thermometer under Jenny's tongue and waited for it to beep. When it did she pulled it out and looked at it, making a tsk-ing sound as she did. "What class are you supposed to be in right now?"

"Oh I don't want to be any trouble, really. I should just go." At the nurse's quelling look she gave in. "Actually this is my lunch period."

"Your temperature is higher than I'd like to see it. All right. Let's get you settled and then I will go and have the office let your teachers know where you are. They can have someone take notes for you until you get back."

"Okay." Jenny agreed meekly, allowing the nurse to tuck her into the cot and apply a cool compress to her forehead.

"I'll be back to check on you in a little bit. I'm going to the office and then to lunch. I want you to just relax, okay? Can you do that for me?"

"Yes ma'am I'll try." Jenny agreed obediently and then closed her eyes. The nurse hit the light switch and left Jenny alone. She waited until the nurse's footsteps had faded before once again breaking into an enormous smile. Part two of the plan was complete. Now all she needed to do was go to sleep and work off some of the tension she felt with Julian.

She was really keyed up and found it next to impossible to fall asleep. She decided to focus on her breathing and get it evened out. In…out…in…out…she pushed all other thoughts out of her mind, willing it blank.

"Jenny?" His voice came as a surprise to her and she opened her eyes to find that she was in the same bed from the night before.

"Wow I guess I fell asleep quicker than I thought." Jenny said in lieu of a greeting. She looked up and met Julian's concerned stare. He was standing at the bottom of the bed and she smiled at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Fit as a fiddle; though don't tell my mom or the school nurse I said so."

He quirked an eyebrow and waited for her to explain herself. She took a moment to catalog his appearance. He was wearing a black T-shirt and black jeans. Both were tight in all the right places and she voiced her approval.

"You look fantastic." Her voice came out a little breathy.

Julian glanced down to remind himself what he was wearing and smiled at her.

"Thanks, so do you."

"So my mom and the school nurse think I'm sick. I'm in the nurse's office bringing my fever down."

"You have a fever?" He took a step toward her and raised his hand as if to put it against her forehead and feel for himself but she stopped him in mid-gesture.

"No, I really don't. They just _think I do."_

"Oh? And why would they think that?" He asked, clearly not buying her story.

"Well I made myself get all flushed so I'd look like I had a fever."

He shook his head and grinned at her.

"And how did you do that, pray tell?"

"Actually it wasn't that hard."

"Let me guess. You pinched your cheeks?" Julian asked, amused by the thought.

Jenny reddened a little and laughed.

"I almost wish I had thought of it. No, it was a lot more pleasant than that. I just thought about you is all." Ignoring the slightly widened eyes her comment caused she continued. "Actually I thought about you and me together. Any time I reflect upon some of our more physical encounters I tend to get a little overheated and decided to use that to my advantage."

"Why would you do that, I wonder?" This time it was his turn to have the breathless voice.

She set her gaze upon his and slowly smiled. She pushed herself into an upright position and then crawled on her hands and knees toward the edge of the bed where he was, never breaking eye contact. 

It took all of Julian's willpower to maintain eye contact. He wondered if she was aware that he could practically see down the front of her shirt in her current position. He concluded that she probably knew it full well, if the grin on her face was any indication. His whole body tensed further with every movement she made that brought her closer to him. He clenched his jaw and balled his hands into fists and waited for her to give him the reason for her unexpected visit. Maybe she needed more comforting? He hoped not—he was pretty sure that he would find it impossible to touch her in a manner intended to simply relax her.

"I want to play."

Julian unclenched his fists and jaw and exhaled, unaware until then that he had been holding his breath.

"Thank god."

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Disclaimer: Hi there everyone! No, I don't have breaking news about my rights to the characters or more specifically, lack thereof. Same old song, different chapter: "I own none of these characters."

Author's note: Here are the reviewer thanks for this chapter. Jump on the bandwagon and review and you'll see a line written just for you! Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't even know it! 

pixxi—Boy I was sorry to hear that you were home sick…I hope you're feeling better? "A passion hard to identify with" that had me cracking up! Glad to see your sense of humor was not dampened by your illness and that I could help you pass a few moments of your day. Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! Ps---One of the reviews for Ch. 32 had a song suggestion for you!

Shadow—Thanks…I promise a fantastic chapter coming up! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Forest Elfin—You crack me up. I'm sorry to hear that you're so jaded by your past board game experiences! You thought that chapter was tempting? Just wait! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

CeredwenFlame—Your name is very cool, first of all. Thank you so much for your sweet words…I hope my muses were listening to you! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Shadow—Hello again! Yes, Tom will be absent for a few more chapters I think! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Venus Smurf –Thanks for reading and reviewing! Your lavish praise may be unwarranted but I still am tickled pink by it! I hope the remaining chapters are up to your standards!

Venus Smurf—Hi again! Yes, Tom is being a bit of a sweetheart about the whole thing, that's for sure. I guess I just want to believe that the experience they all went through with The Games made all of them realize how important they are to each other and that it was something that bonded them forever, like many life-or-death scenarios. So Tom's feelings are eased by the knowledge that they are forever entwined, regardless of their individual destinies. Plus, not to give too much away, but Tom has been questioning the relationship since Game 2 and he's honestly excited about the prospect of a new life for himself. It's like he's discovering a whole new way to be himself. Boy I sound so cheesy! lol

Venus Smurf--*insert misty eyes* Gosh, your reviews are better than any other form of therapy I could conceive! I just need to read one and I have this "high on life" thing going for days! I agree that it is really important that Jenny feel comfortable with Julian because if she can't relax in his presence then she's just headed for a nervous breakdown. Not that he still doesn't make her knees quake but it's better now because of the familiarity. Speaking of knees quaking I better get back to the next chapter!

Skyfire—Thanks so much! I really appreciate that you seem to enjoy the story a lot….it constantly motivates me to get my next chapter out that much faster when I read such glowing reviews!

Amber Evans Potter—Dry your tears and I promise I'll give you an incredibly steamy chapter…sound fair? I mean, you did give me candy after all, it's the least I can do!

me again...Your fics aren't mindless, unless as you stated you mean for them to be! Lol…no, it didn't sound wrong at all unless you equate tempting with wrong! Thanks for checking back in with me!


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

Jenny barely had time to pull herself up onto her knees before Julian had grabbed her and hauled her up against his chest, his mouth meeting hers in a kiss that was none too gentle. He opened his lips over hers, drawing her bottom lip in between his and gently sucking on it before releasing it to use his tongue to gain entry to her mouth. Jenny moaned loudly and complied eagerly. Julian broke the kiss and they both gulped in some much-needed oxygen.

"Lay down on your stomach."

She gave him a quizzical look but complied, twisting slightly so she could still look at him. He smiled and perched himself by her feet. Reaching down to the one closest to him he lifted it and slowly moved his hand up to her ankle.

Jenny began breathing in short pants. Waiting for his next move was exciting and frustrating at the same time.

He held her ankle lightly within his grasp. It was hard to judge his mood but Jenny felt more than a little silly in this position. Keeping his eyes on hers he leaned down and lightly nipped at her Achilles' tendon. She yelped and bucked her hips wildly, trying to get free. She had never felt anything like the sensation he caused. It was as if he lit her on fire. She didn't trust herself, specifically the feelings that coursed within her blood. She was rapidly coming to the point where she would willingly agree to make love, consequences be damned. And her rational side, while its voice had admittedly become fainter, assured her that she was not ready for such a step—oh but to surrender to him so completely would be heaven!

"Why Jenny, are you trying to get away from me?" Julian's voice penetrated the fog and she stilled her movements in reaction.

"What if I am?" she asked, amazed that she could manage to tease him when she could barely form a coherent thought.

"Now why would you want to go and do something like that? Don't you **like** the way I make you feel?" His voice was low and seductive and it sent chills along Jenny's skin.

"I think I may like it too much." She whispered. Her answer sparked something within Julian's eyes and he flashed her that wolf-hungry grin that always made her weak. She renewed her efforts to get away, abruptly overcome with the need to get some control. To her surprise Julian allowed her to twist onto her back.

She belatedly remembered what she was wearing. She had chosen her outfit with care that morning, knowing full well she would end up here. Her v-neck blue shirt was already a big hit with Julian, and apparently her denim skirt was met with approval too since his gaze was locked on it. It was his stare that called attention to the fact that her current position caused her skirt to hike up considerably. That was undoubtedly the reason he let her go, she realized. She blushed and tried to straighten it out as best she could. 

Dragging his eyes away from the skirt's hemline Julian reached out and captured one of her hands within his own.

"So tell me Jenny."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me how I make you feel. I want to know if what I do feels good."

Was he kidding? How could he think anything else but the obvious—that his touch drove her wild?

"Come now, Jenny. How am I ever going to improve if I don't get any feedback?"

"You're doing just fine." She managed to croak out.

"Just fine? Well I admit that's a bit of a disappointment. I guess I'll just have to embark on a whole journey of trial-and-error and you'll have to let me know where I can improve."

She wasn't sure she would survive the trip.

"Oh that's not necessary. You're not doing just fine. In fact, you're doing _great_!"

"Well I appreciate you trying to spare my feelings but your first instinct was probably the right one. It's for the best that I learn what makes you feel good for myself. After all I made a promise to you that regretfully I have yet to keep."

"What promise is that?"

"I told you I would make you burn for me, Jenny. And I intend to do exactly that so just lay back because you're not going anywhere."

Her eyes widened and her mouth formed a small "O" shape.

"Oh my god." She mouthed the words, her mouth having gone completely dry.

"I think I'll just start here and work my way up. How's that?"

And then he began without waiting for an answer. Keeping his eyes on hers he inched his hand up her right leg, pausing when he got to her knee.  He ran his index finger across the back and Jenny tensed, pulling herself up on her elbows. Then he traced small circles on the inside and she curled her hands into the sheets. He grinned and allowed his fingers to move higher on her leg, alongside the inside of her thigh. When he began to trace patterns on the top and along the sides and bottom Jenny bit her lip and her hips lifted involuntarily.

"Julian." She groaned and fell back off of her elbows.

"Yes? Was there something you wanted to say?" He seemed to be amused but his voice wasn't entirely steady either.

His hand stopped its exploration of her thigh and continued to move upward. Just when she thought he was finally going to touch her right where she was dying for it his fingers changed their trajectory and moved to her hip. She relaxed just a fraction, assuring herself that she was _relieved that he hadn't done what she wanted him to do, when suddenly he weaved a finger underneath the elastic of her panties._

Jenny couldn't breathe. Oh god, she wanted him so much.

Just as quickly he withdrew and continued to tease her, stroking along her abdomen and slowly lifting her shirt with every pass of his fingers. He ceased the torment momentarily, only to replace it with a new form of torture. He leaned over her and bent to place feather-soft kisses at every point his hands had been so far.

She whimpered when he kissed her knee and her breathing hitched when he began to lavish attention on her thighs. But when he reached her hip and lifted the edge of her panties so that his tongue could dart in she forgot to breathe. A wave of desire so powerful it caused her to see stars in front of her eyes hit her and she stilled completely, savoring the sensations.

The gentle kisses on her stomach brought her out of the haze and she again became focused on Julian.

"Oh god, Julian."

"Shh, just lay back and enjoy what you're feeling."

She continued talking as if she hadn't heard him.

"Oh god Julian. Oh god I want you. I want you. I do. I do. I'm so hot. You make me so hot. Oh please. Please."

In truth she was only dimly aware of what she had told him. The world could crumble around her and she doubted it would even have registered.

Julian was having a hard time remembering why he had told Jenny that they couldn't make love. All he wanted to do was rid both of them of their clothes and spend eternity pleasuring Jenny. He levered himself up and off of her for a minute to catch his breath. Jenny realized his lips were no longer on her skin and she opened her eyes. She saw Julian sitting next to her breathing heavily, a fist clenched to his forehead and his eyes screwed tightly shut.

She took advantage of his distraction to pull her shirt off so she was clad only in her bra. She backed down onto her elbows and tried to slow her breathing down too. Julian turned back to her and opened his eyes, intending to slow things back down but then he saw what she had done and he felt a jolt of desire stab him in the gut that chased away any thoughts of slowing down.

"Oh my god." This time it was Julian's turn to pray. She was wearing a simple white cotton bra with a narrow ribbon of lace outlining the top of the cups. She had been briefly upset this morning when she picked out her outfit to come to the realization that she didn't own any lingerie that she would consider sexy. But judging from the look in Julian's eyes she worried for naught. She decided it was time to give back a little of what she had received.

"Tell me, Julian."

"What?" He was having a hard time remembering to breathe, let alone hold a conversation.

"Do you like what I'm wearing? How do I make you feel? How can I ever expect to learn how to please you if I don't get any signals?"

He didn't trust himself to speak. So he decided to use his body to show her how she affected him. He laid his hands on her stomach and moved them to her waist, holding her as he gently laid her back onto the pillows. His touch was reverent as he allowed his fingers to slowly slide back over to her stomach. After a few tortuous moments he allowed his hands to gravitate toward her breasts. The first stroke of his fingers was so faint it was near impossible to tell if he had actually made contact…unless you were Jenny. Julian may have intended the slight touch to be teasing but for her it was an incendiary sensation. She nearly vaulted off the bed in reaction to the pure carnal energy he had ignited with that simple motion. He dipped his head toward her chest so he could kiss the tops of her breasts and Jenny thought she died. When she felt the weight of his body on the outside of her leg as he continued to nibble on the swell of her breasts she moved her legs out of the way by wrapping them around his waist.  This motion brought them into fairly intimate contact with each other which caused nearly identical moans of arousal.

"Oh yes. Touch me. Please." She used her right hand to hold onto his shoulder and the left was busy clutching the pillow above her head. He licked along the underside of the lace edging and Jenny arched into him even more, desperate to sustain the sensations.

Her desire was spiraling within her, carrying her to heights she had only imagined. Her body was giving her all the signals she needed to know just what she was headed toward but then she was gripped with a highly inappropriate and irrational fear. What if things didn't work out? She knew that Julian loved her; he had said so in the past. But at that moment she seemed to be outside of herself watching the whole situation and she was scared. Suddenly she craved reassurance that **_she_ was the one who held a claim on him, body and soul.**

"You're mine." He looked at her with a mixture of surprise and a heightened level of desire when her words reached him. "Say it. I need to hear you say it."

He cupped her face with his hands and made sure she was looking at him. He ran his thumb across her lips and leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. His cobalt eyes bored into hers.

"Never doubt it. I am yours, now and forever."

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Disclaimer: Sure I put them into these situations but that doesn't mean I own them. I'm no puppet master, my friends.

Author's Note: I am anticipating a huge reaction from this chapter so let me hear you, folks! Good? Not-so-good? Downright horrific? Weigh in with your opinion! And now onto the thank you portion, my favorite part!

CeredwenFlame--I too, would have enjoyed making this one big chapter with the next one but then how would I keep people coming back? They only come back if I end with a cliffhanger, you know ;-). I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

clare—Good to hear from you again! Thanks for the compliment, it's appreciated! Well I apologize for waiting to get this chapter out but I hope you do not find yourself disappointed by it? If you do let me know where I went wrong and I'll do my best to write better!

Shadow—You can't just leave your threat there…you have to be pretty vivid about what horrible thing you're going to do if my update is not speedy enough…of course I *did* wonder what the drastic thing would be and that was its own form of torture…maybe that's what you were hoping for? Thanks for checking in and voicing your opinion. I hope that you are satisfied with the latest addition and that you do not flame me too much!

Forest Elfin—You crack me up! I apologize for nearly causing cardiac arrest…I hope that reading the follow-up didn't cause you to nearly pass out ;-). Thanks for letting me know you're out there enjoying this!

Pixxi—Ok…for Book Three, how about the song "Who Wants to Live Forever?" by Queen? Hope the history test went well? Sorry about what I'm sure seems like an interminable wait for this chapter but maybe you like it enough to forgive me? Yeah, sorry I missed that whole thing where it was you giving the song suggestion…lol…don't know how I missed it!

Amber Evans Potter—Blink, girl! Lol! I'm glad that you at least anticipated that it would be a few days! So in terms of steam, did this chapter raise the bar enough? Let me know what I can do better! Thanks for reading and giving me encouragement to go on!

beanie—Well I hate the thought that I am the cause of anyone's demise, I assure you. I hope this chapter was worth the pain and anguish you went through while waiting? Please continue to write and let me know how I am or how I am failing to entertain you!


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

To her horror she felt tears prickling the corners of her eyes. She fought them back vainly and nodded at him so he would know she was pleased. But Julian noticed the tears and was justifiably concerned.

"Jenny? What is it?"

She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. Julian didn't press the issue; he simply rolled onto his side, taking her with him. He pulled her back against him and held her tight, resting his chin on top of her head.

Jenny screwed her eyes shut tightly and held onto Julian with a grip that bordered on bruising in its strength. She couldn't help but feel like a fool. One minute she was in the throes of ecstasy and the next she was reduced to a quivering mass of emotions. She sniffed back a sob and laughed instead at the predicament facing her. Julian's hold on Jenny tensed in reaction to her laugh. He tilted his head toward her and kissed the top of her head.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I was just thinking of how quickly I killed the mood and found it to be sad and pathetic but slightly amusing nonetheless."

His tone was serious when he responded.

"It's probably for the best…" he trailed off but his tone indicated he really didn't think it was for the best that the mood died. "I should thank you. I told you I didn't want our relationship to be too much for you and before I know it I'm on the brink of…"

He broke off and shook his head ruefully. His chin grazed against the top of Jenny's head and she closed her eyes and leaned further into him.

"You weren't on the brink of anything I didn't want to be on too." Jenny insisted. 

Damn her insecurities! If she had just trusted in her feelings instead of insisting on mucking up the works with some emotional garbage she would most likely be basking in the afterglow right now instead of debating the wisdom of their relationship…again.

"I shouldn't have let things get that far. You're in a vulnerable place right now and I took advantage of it when I knew better. You're still reeling from your break-up and you need comfort, not sex."

Jenny pried herself loose from Julian's arms and scooted backward so she could face him fully. There was no trace of a smile to be found on Jenny's face. Her jaw was set and her lips were pursed in a tight line.

"Listen to me, Julian. You may think you know what I need but you don't. What I _need_ is you. What I _want_ is you. I came here knowing full well what was going to happen. I came here **wanting it to happen, with a plan for ****making it happen. So don't give me some guilt-ridden speech about my impaired judgment because it's a load of crap."**

His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in surprise. He was rendered speechless. Jenny took a moment to commit his expression to memory before continuing. It wasn't often that Julian was caught off-guard and the look on his face would be worth recalling for a few laughs later.

"I will concede that what you said makes sense. I am still reeling from the break-up and I do need comfort, and I am getting it from you, my family, and my friends. But I also need some things that only you can give me. I need to feel wanted, I need to feel desirable, and I need to feel sexy and worthwhile. I need to be reassured that what I left behind pales in comparison to what I've gained."

Julian's eyes were fixated on her face but he looked as if he didn't really see her. His attention was clearly elsewhere. He found himself tempted beyond belief to accept her words and forget the nagging of his conscience. The ache between his legs reminded him that he was excited by her words in another way. The way Jenny said what she needed from him came off as an arousing challenge. He longed to tip her back onto the mattress and show her _exactly_ how desirable he found her.

Reason warred with desire in a battle Jenny could clearly see raging within him. His breathing was unsteady and his eyes had begun to skim over her features and up and down the length of her body. Her body reacted to the heat in his gaze. Her skin tingled with anticipation and her senses hummed with awareness of his body's desire for her.

"Well perhaps I can lay some of those fears to rest." His voice was a seductive growl.

She cocked her head to the side and considered him, a teasing grin stretched across her lips.

"Oh? And which ones do you think you can help with?"

In response her reached out and grasped her forearms, pulling her close to him. His fingertips slid up her arms and he kept his gaze constant.

"You are beautiful, and desirable, and so sexy that my hands itch with a constant need to feel your skin. My mouth craves no other sustenance than your kiss. My eyes could not wish for a more breathtaking sight to gaze upon than you. My body longs to become one with yours."

Jenny could actually feel her mouth begin to water from the impact of his words.

"You are wanted. I want you, Jenny. Do you want to feel how much I want you?" He laid her head down on his chest.

"Do you hear how my heart beats, Jenny? It's calling out for you."

"Oh Julian."

She raised herself off of him and leaned in for a kiss, winding her arms around his neck and molding herself to his length. His tongue teased her lips open and dipped in to taste her more fully, sending shivers down Jenny's spine.

He brushed her hair off her neck and broke the contact between their lips, bending to kiss the exposed skin of her collarbone. 

She rocked her hips against his instinctively and he groaned loudly, moving his hands to her hips to still her movements. His lips broke free and he twisted his head to the side.

"Not like this." He sounded winded.

"What's wrong with this?" She took advantage of his head position to move her mouth to his neck, mimicking his earlier movements. It was his turn to arch into her, his hands kneading the flesh at her hips.

"Oh god, Jenny. You set me on fire."

"I'm glad." She whispered the words against his skin. He suddenly grabbed her wrists and used his weight to reverse their positions, pushing Jenny until she lay back onto the bed. He pinned her with both his weight and his stare.

"I have to stop us and I'll tell you why, all right?" He waited for her reluctant nod before he continued. "When we make love for the first time it's going to be explosive."

Hearing the words sounded so sexy to her. Her lips parted slightly in a small smile. Jenny briefly wondered if guys realized that they really didn't have to work very hard to turn on most women. All they needed to do was get properly verbal and a woman's keen imagination filled in the blanks and got her fired up in the space of a heartbeat or less.

Julian interpreted her gaze and returned the grin.

"Oh yes, Jenny. It's _when_, not _if_. I become more convinced of that fact every time I see you."

He stopped speaking but Jenny sensed that he still had something on his mind. But he was looking at her lips and she couldn't help but smile as she noticed his distraction.

"Julian? Was there something else you wanted to say?" she teased.

His stare shifted up to her eyes and he smiled at her, completely unashamed at being caught staring so blatantly. He lifted his hand to her face and cupped her cheek and she leaned into it and closed her eyes, only to feel him move his fingers over to trace her jaw line and then her neck. He traced the edge of her collarbone and then he slowly pulled his hand down to her abdomen, passing between her breasts as he did so. She gasped and arched off her knees into his touch.

"Yes Jenny, I have more to say. But right now I just have to taste your smile."

His hand went around her neck and his fingers buried themselves in her hair and she was pulled forward to seal his lips with her own. 

Talk about properly verbal! Jenny was surprised how that simple statement set her blood boiling. Not that his hands hadn't already lit the flame. He broke away abruptly and pinned her to the bed again.

"I am going to take all night and all day to taste you, tease you, and touch you until you forget everything but you and me and the feelings between us. I don't want to be your first, Jenny. I want to be your **_only_."**

She waited for him to say something, anything that made sense. Well, sense in terms of causing her to reconsider their present course of action.

"But I don't want it to happen here, Jenny. I want it to be completely perfect and completely real. I don't want you asleep during it. I want you to be a willing and enthusiastic participant."

She rolled her eyes.

"Are you saying I'm not one now?" Her eyes dared him to answer.

He looked heavenward as if asking for guidance in how to proceed. When he did it was with a tone one would use on someone who was rather dense.

"Of course I'm not saying that, Jenny. Your response to me pleases me immensely and you know it."

"But you think this isn't real, is that it?" she asked.

"No, not exactly."

"This has something to do with what you said before, right? About how you think this isn't just a dream. What did you mean by that? Am I really not dreaming? Are you not dead, but alive somewhere?"

She continued rambling without letting him get a word in edgewise.

"You're telling me you want to wait until you can find a way to appear in the same room I'm in when I'm awake. Have you done it? Have you found a way to make yourself visible to me?"

"I want you to wake up and go home and go back to sleep."

She started to protest but he raised his hand to stop the flow of words before they started.

"That nurse is going to be checking on you if she isn't already in the room with you and I don't want you to be caught moaning or anything else that would be embarrassing. You can be home and asleep pretty quickly, right?"

Jenny curled her lip in disgust even as she acknowledged the truth in his words. If she went home and back to bed she would have many more hours to be with him, even sleeping through the night and all day tomorrow when she skipped school like she planned to.

"Oh I'll be asleep again quickly, all right. Even if it means shooting myself with a tranquilizer gun."

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Disclaimer: Don't sue me. I don't own any clothes another human being would admit to coveting and my bank account has lots of zeroes, in all the wrong places. I don't own the FG characters.

Author's Note: Well boy oh boy did the last chapter bring out the reviewers in droves! Thank you all so much! If you guys are looking for great stories take at look at some of your fellow reviewers, why don't you? CeredwenFlame and ArchAngelPixxi are well worth a look, for instance. And a nice thank you goes out to all those who read but couldn't review. Sorry I can't thank you all personally but I haven't passed the Psychic Friends test to know who you are yet. On to those who don't require supernatural powers to thank:

Cat—You are so good to me, reviewing with such nice things to say! You are appreciated! Forget Mr. Bloom, I'd take *any* guy who resembled Julian in the slightest!

CeredwenFlame—I hope you have not given up on your stories? Give people some time and they will respond. I'm plugging you! Thanks for taking time out from your writing to read and review!

Rashel Jordan—Your review kept me smiling for days and continues to have that effect on me anytime I read it. I wouldn't stone you, so no need to worry. I'm glad you liked this chapter enough to review. I hope that means I'm on the right track.

evilspoofauthor2Cassi—Hey I hope you had a great time in Mexico! I didn't update beyond this chapter since you were gone so go ahead and knock me upside the head, I deserve it. Sorry about the cliffhanger, this one wasn't much better, was it? 

Beanie—Glad I surprised you by having the action continue. I like keeping you guys on your toes every now and again. Thanks for making the effort to read and review! Sorry my update wasn't all that speedy!

Kristen Michelle—So how have you been? Sorry that I keep writing in such a way that you're left with an ambiguous feeling as to who Jenny should be with but I'm trying to keep her within character if I can. I'm always so glad to hear from you, as you know, and this time means just as much!

Amber Evans Potter—I love that you put in the physical movements, I can imagine someone doing them and it cracks me up! Thanks so much for your enthusiasm for this chapter, it makes me want to hit the old keyboard again! 

Skyfire—I'm so glad you didn't think this was sleazy…I was walking a fine line, I assure you. Glad to see that at least you don't think I crossed it. Have I told you I love your name? Well I do. It lends itself to some very evocative imagery. Thank you for your encouragement!

Calli—Thanks so much for your kind words and specific suggestions…I took them to heart and made a conscious effort to incorporate them. I hope I did better but it might take me a few chapters to get everything flowing smoothly! 

Francesca—With praise like that how can I help but try harder and harder to please! Flattery will get you everywhere! I am finishing the next chapter and look forward to putting it up much sooner than this chapter. Thank you so much for your terrific praise! It made me glad that I was a writer!

Forest Elfin—Dear lord you crack me up! Thank you so much for bringing a smile to my face on a day when I really needed it.

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—Sorry that FF.net was acting up…I had a problem with review boxes myself that I found to be very frustrating! Yes, I'm afraid that I have Julian portrayed as inhuman…because I do not know of a man alive who would ever act like him unless he was being paid a hefty sum of money. Am I killing the romantic dreams of those who read this fic? I hope not! Thanks so much for writing, as always. I can always count on you to say something that makes me think, smile, laugh out loud, blush, or all of the above at once! You're such a wonderful reviewer!

Venus Smurf—I am always smiling when I see your name in my review box and this time is no different. Yes, I think Tom and Dee are a good match. I'm focusing so much on Jenny and Julian because it seems to be what a lot of people want and plus, that's where the story is for me right now. Take care of yourself and I'll be checking out Roommate and everything else you're written time and time again while you're on sabbatical, so to speak!

Venus Smurf—Yeah, I couldn't help it. I think it's so sexy when a guy wants to please his woman and I thought Julian was definitely the type of guy who could pull off asking for it. Yes, Julian's worth it. Definitely. Absolutely. 

Kyia-Kenobi—You're so sweet! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, especially considering you're not even all the way through! I really appreciate it and hope you enjoy the rest of the story! 

Billy Bob Biff Bob the neon yak*ArchAngel pixxistixx4me in disguise* —you are so funny sometimes! So why do you have a large Tinky-Winky poster? Does he inspire you? I shudder to think of the possibilities. I'm glad that Easter will be up soon…it sounds intriguing, to say the least! Glad you finally found the song you wanted for Book Three. I have to play it again to remind myself what it sounds like but I think I'm going to agree with you. So what about a song that typifies each character? That's a nice long quest! Let me know!


	36. Chapter Thirty Six

He shook his head and chuckled.

"All right I'll go. But don't think this gets you off the hook, buddy. We're not done talking about this. It's a damn miracle I remembered to say _anything _and now that I have I'm not going to let it rest until I'm satisfied."

He smiled at her and tilted his head down to take a bite along her jaw.

"So are you saying that you're not satisfied now?"

She laughed but reddened nonetheless as she swatted at his shoulder.

"You're incorrigible."

"Just get home quickly and I'll make _sure you're satisfied."_

She was sure she was blushing from her head to her toes. He seemed to be waiting for her to leave and when she didn't he frowned a little.

"What's the matter, Jenny?"

"I just can't leave. Not until I get at least a few answers." Seeing the frustrated look on Julian's face made Jenny feel bad, but her resolve didn't waver. She set her lips in a pout and proceeded to beg.

"Please? Pretty please?"

He leaned over and kissed the pout off of her lips with a groan of surrender.

"All right, all right. But I can't be held responsible for my behavior. What do you want to know?"

She didn't have to be asked twice and she didn't even need a moment to think about what she would ask first.

"Can I see you outside of my dreams?"

He rolled his eyes and positioned himself against the headboard. He reached over to grab some pillows to act as cushions.

"Do you **_really_** think that if I knew how to make myself appear outside of here that I wouldn't? Trust me, if I possessed the knowledge I wouldn't let you wake up alone ever again. We would never have to worry about bad timing because I'd be there every morning when you opened your eyes to finish whatever we started in our dreams."

Wasn't she supposed to be thinking that she was too young to be contemplating anything along the lines of forever? Wasn't the correct line of thinking supposed to suggest that she was too untested in life and all that jazz? None of that was occurring to Jenny. The picture he painted was one she longed for more and more with every day she spent with him.

When it became obvious that he intended to distract her with more kisses she stopped him with an outstretched arm. He merely raised his eyebrow and re-settled himself.

"So what do you think happened?" she asked in a shaky voice. Resisting Julian was difficult.

"Well I used to be able to visit you when you were asleep and we interacted in a way that was beyond dreams…it was real."

Jenny nodded, remembering all too well the episodes in question. She recalled waking up one morning with a silver rose on her pillow in testimony to the fact that they had been together the night before.

"I think I'm in a place like the More Games store. Somewhere between here and well, I don't know where."

"Why do you think you're trapped?"

"I suppose it's the ring."

She glanced down at her hand at the circlet of gold that constantly adorned her finger.

"What about it?"

"Well I have been giving this matter a lot of thought and I have come to the conclusion that it must have something to do with the binding ceremony."

Her eyes opened wide. For some reason she hadn't thought he was going to say that.

"I beg your pardon?"

Julian grinned at her choice of words but he kept going. Obviously once the floodgates were open he was as anxious to talk about it as she was.

"The way I see it here's what happened. When the Elders slashed the Runestave I escaped the Shadow Realm before they finished carving my name out. You put the ring back on before they got done and I became bound to you again but thanks to my Elders I happen to fulfill my part of the binding in the only place where I can."

Jenny narrowed her eyes and looked at Julian, her mind whirring. Something didn't seem right about the explanation but she couldn't think of what it was. Julian must have interpreted her look because he sighed and continued.

"The part that doesn't make sense is the ring. How could it do so much?"

He paused and seemed to be collecting his thoughts.

"And?"

"Well I may have…withheld information about it before."

Any suspicion she felt was allayed by his sheepish smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over at her with his most innocent expression which she didn't buy for a second.

"Oh?" 

"Well if I had told you before I _think you would have been upset."_

"Upset? About what?" Her suspicion had begun to creep back and she folded her arms across her chest and gave him a hard stare. He seemed to be debating telling her when he noticed the look and exhaled loudly.

"You know the binding ceremony was real."

She flushed guiltily for a moment and cast her glance away from him, recalling how she had tricked him. Not that he hadn't deserved it but still, she had felt bad then and felt a little worse now. When he didn't say anything else she moved her gaze back to him.

"Yes?"

"It was real, Jenny."

"Yeah, I got it. It was real. So what?"

He just continued to look at her until she felt like an idiot for not grasping what apparently was an obvious fact.

"Tell me, Julian. I'm obviously not getting it." She said with a smile.

"After the ceremony did you try to take the ring off?"

Again she found herself unable to meet his eyes. It was as damning as any verbal confession. But if he was upset by it he didn't give it away with his tone when he continued.

"What happened when you tried to take it off?"

She tilted her head back in surprise.

"Well, I couldn't get it off."

Then he smiled at her.

"That's because you didn't want to take it off."

"What?"

"The binding ceremony worked, Jenny. If it hadn't the ring would never have stayed on your finger at all."

"Come again?"

"In simple terms you had to mean it, Jenny. You **couldn't fake it."**

The implications of that statement hit her with a force that knocked the breath out of her. 

That meant…but wait, was there a chance he was fooling with her? She peered at him and he held his hands up in a defensive gesture.

"I wouldn't lie about this, Jenny. You had to choose me freely and you did. The ring wouldn't come off because you thought of yourself as bound to me and the ring is the symbol of that bond. You were trying to take it off for the wrong reasons."

He moved so quickly she barely had time to react. As it was she was pinned underneath him before she knew what had happened. He punctuated each of his sentences with a kiss.

"You were trying to prove you didn't belong with me but your heart knew better. It only came off when you failed to believe in that bond with every part of you, including your heart."

"But the ceremony…"

"Yes? What about it?" he calmly waited for her questions, idly toying with a piece of her hair.

"You said it so quickly, so matter-of-factly."

He narrowed his eyes and looked at her in confusion.

"What did I say?"

"The oath. You said it so calmly, so…I don't know what I'm trying to say." She shook her head in frustration.

"Of course I did."

She blinked at him a few times.

"Jenny, I said it so evenly and clearly because I meant it. Why would I stumble over something I imagined saying a million times over? I had no doubts about pledging myself to you forever. I never have."

It was quite possibly one of the most beautiful things anyone had ever said to her. 

Damn her tears! But somehow she felt these were more appropriate.

He reached over and wiped an errant tear away from her cheek with his thumb.

"I seem to be the cause of many tears of late." He murmured. "And what about you, hmm?"

Wiping away the other tear that had managed to escape from her eye Jenny gave him a tremulous grin.

"What about me?"

"I don't seem to recall you faltering over the words either."

She studiously avoided his gaze by twisting her head a little.

"Well…"

He reached over and cupped her face with his hand, turning her head back toward him.

"I was very proud of you, you know. It meant a lot to me that you didn't hesitate."

Some part of her felt that it was highly inappropriate to be so pleased with that statement. Thankfully, that element of her psyche was marginally small and was impatiently brushed aside by the rush of warmth his words created.

God help her but she was afraid she was falling irrevocably in love with Julian. With a shake of her head she tossed that thinking aside. With Julian's knack for reading her mind it was dangerous to dwell on thoughts of that nature for too long. She tossed him a coy smile before responding.

"I'm supposed to be leaving, yet you keep saying things to make me want to stay. So…" she reached out and cupped his face the same way he had done to her, "I need some motivation to leave. What can you do about that?"

He turned his face so he could press a kiss into her palm.

"All I can do is promise to make it worth your while if you hurry back."

The look he sent her made shivers run up her spine and her brain jar into alertness in an instant. Heat spread through her body as she relived it.

"Whoa. I gotta get home like now."

***********************************************************************

Disclaimer: Nope. I do not own the characters. But hey, I appreciate you asking.

Author's Notes: This time the plugs are for Venus Smurf and Baloo. Read their stuff. I don't care if you're not into the genres they are, I really don't. Just read. They are wonderful. Then leave them glowing reviews. I insist.

Shadow—I really struggled with the description of what Julian was talking about. I knew exactly what I wanted to say but somehow the words eluded me. I'm still not satisfied with it and I'll try to do better and maybe revise it when I do. Thanks as always for checking in and letting me know what you think. Your praise keeps the words flowing.

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—Hope the vacuuming went well and that the dustbunnies did not choose that particular time to stage a revolt. Sorry I left you in cliffhanger hell. Complaining, if done nicely and sprinkled liberally with that magic word we all love, can indeed get you things. See you in a bit for your next thank you!

Amber Evans Potter—Your review was so welcome! It was one of the most creative ones I have ever received and made me laugh….which caused some to wonder about my mental state, I'm sure. Thank you Amber, Julian and Jenny! 

Beanie—I laughed when I read your review…it made me think of Forrest Gump "Run Forrest!" Maybe I could try updating two chapters at a time but I fear that any additional delays in posting that would cause would also cause a marked increase in the number of death threats I receive. You're so sweet to me and I appreciate you.

Rashel Jordan—Yes, Jenny running fast seems to be a theme within these reviews! Yeah, if I had Julian….well, I wouldn't be sitting here writing based on flights of fancy, they would be based on…well let's be realistic…I wouldn't be spending time writing. Thank you for caring enough to review I am grateful for it!

Vampyric Princess Spike—OMG, you are just too much! Don't you know that flattery like that will get you more chapters quicker and my undying gratitude? Keep reviewing it in a similar fashion and this story will get done before you know it!

CeredwenFlame—Just "almost desperately"? I will have to do better! I want you DYING to know what's going on! I'm so glad to hear about your stories and you know I will be there to post reviews when you're ready! 

Forest Elfin—I cracked up thinking about the nurse walking in and so figured that I should really have her leave before something happens that would be hard to live down. You're so amazing to remember to review like you do…it fills me with warm and fluffy feelings.

Francesca—Hello Francesca! So what would you like instead of feelings? I can't improve if I don't know what you'd like instead, my dear! Thank you so much for writing! You are terrific!

Clare—Thank you for taking the time to seek out the story and again for reviewing it. Your reviews give me hope that I am pleasing you and that I may continue to live up to your expectations.

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—Hello again! Chocolate covered raisins, eh? Your little teaser has me anxious to read "Easter."  I hate to tell you but I made a deal with one of your esteemed fellow reviewers…she gets Julian and I get Orlando Bloom so you can't steal Julian from me. But I'm glad that you at least told me you cleaned your room; I wouldn't want Julian tied up under a dirty bed. Thanks for making me smile.

Skyfire—I saw a pic of her (Huntress Skyfire), she's pretty! Did you choose her b/c you look like her? Thanks for your in-depth review…I like that you think about what I write! I'm still a little iffy about Julian's explanation but oh well. I hope that it is not too disappointing. They will finally find each other but I can promise you at least a few more cliffhangers before then! 

Venus Smurf—Stop with the praise, already! I'm already having trouble getting my turtlenecks on in the morning! So you would lead a posse of my fans, hmm? Crack me up! No, I didn't think you meant anything by the Tom and Dee thing at all. Sorry if I gave that impression. I'm pretty pleased with the rate I'm churning out chapters. It probably could be faster but I like to go back and re-read it once it's written and make revisions at least a few hours later, if not a whole day. I did toy with the idea of having Jenny dilly dally some more about wanting to be with Julian but really, who are we kidding? *I* know I want them to be together, *you* know it, so why prolong the torture? As for wondering about Julian's explanation…it didn't come out like I had envisioned it but I can tweak it forever and somehow I don't think I'll ever be happy with it. I don't deserve your flattery, that's for sure! But boy it sure made me feel so wonderful when I read it! Take care of yourself!

Kyia-Kenobi—When I went to your website I jumped, not expecting the music! I like the picture of you two in the StarFleet uniforms. So did your OMG mean that you liked the last two chapters or that I crossed the lines of decency? I think Julian will be too busy with Jenny to be concerned with giving Tom the time of day, let alone with beating him to a pulp! Thanks for writing and for giving me another place to surf!


	37. Chapter Thirty Seven

The sensual promise in Julian's eyes haunted Jenny and made any delay in getting home feel like an eternity. Unfortunately it seemed as though the Fates were determined to have a bit of fun with her. Once she had awoken Jenny had been forced to wait for the nurse to return from her lunch break for what seemed like forever. After hovering over her and muttering to herself the nurse had decreed that Jenny needed more rest and stubbornly refused to allow her to go home until the school day ended under the pretense of wanting to keep an eye on Jenny's fever.

Knowing it would lead to a highly embarrassing situation Jenny resolved not to fall back asleep until she got into her own bed. This decision led to a steady decline in her mood as the rest of the school day waned until Jenny felt as tightly wound as a spring and ready to snap at the slightest provocation.

Shutting her locker door with one hand while she cradled her books in the crook of her other arm Jenny turned to make her way down the hallway, out the doors, into her car and finally home. But she had barely managed more than a few steps when a voice called her name. The call came over the loudspeaker and the voice was her guidance counselor asking her to stop in the office before leaving for the day.

Jenny groaned and stopped mid-stride. Pivoting on one heel she abruptly switched directions and hurried to the office. With any luck this would be a quick visit.

As she approached the counselor's offices she could hear the voice of the junior counselor drift into the hallway. From the lack of another voice Jenny decided he must be on the phone and her suspicions were confirmed when she presented herself at the open door. Seeing Jenny caused the man in front of her to smile and wave her in, indicating one of the padded seats in front of his desk. While he was finishing his conversation Jenny looked around, taking in the appearance of the room as well as its occupant. The room itself felt just a little bit cozier than the rest of the rooms in the school, due in large part to the enormous built-in bookcases that flanked Jenny. There were several volumes on psychology that were obviously textbooks at one time as well as a few framed photographs and knick-knacks scattered throughout the shelves, giving the room a lived-in feeling.

As far as the room's occupant went his appearance was pretty much what you would expect a guidance counselor's to mimic. Today he was wearing a brown and white plaid button down shirt, over which he had pulled a v-neck sweater vest in a darker shade of brown than the shirt. When he got up to consult a book from the nearest shelf Jenny saw that beige corduroy slacks completed the ensemble.

Finally saying goodbye he turned and gave his full attention to Jenny.

"Hello Ms. Thornton."

"Hi. You wanted to see me, Mr. Twitche?"

"Yes. I would like to talk to you a little more about the reason for your visit last week if that's all right with you?"

Oh dear. Perhaps this wasn't going to be as quick as she had thought. Her visit last week had been prompted by a feeling that she needed to do something productive in terms of college. She had been pondering the subject rather seriously since the end of the Games when she had realized that she needed an existence outside of Tom-and-Jenny. Thinking about her varied interests had led Jenny to try and find some way to combine them into something that she could study in college. Mr. Twitche had helped her apply for a summer position that would hopefully help. Recognizing that she had yet to answer Mr. Twitche she quickly nodded. At her movement he continued.

"I've been looking over your records and I don't see anything that would suggest your interest in something like this aside from better than average marks in computers. So would you mind telling me what prompted your decision to pursue this?"

Wasn't it a bit late to be asking? Jenny thought to herself. Shouldn't he have given her the third degree _before_ she applied? Sighing at her inability to predict much less understand adults she shrugged before replying.

"Not at all. It's pretty basic. I'm about to end my junior year and it is time for me to start seriously thinking about what I want to be when I grow up, for lack of a better phrase. A lot of my outside interests are shared by people there and I'm hoping that with some more time devoted exclusively to those interests that I will be able to come back focused on a career path. That goal will help me choose the course of study I plan to pursue as well as the college I go to."

He peered at her intently for a moment and then nodded, apparently satisfied with the response.

"Well you're in luck. There is still one spot open for a counselor at Camp Penwick. It's pretty amazing that it's still open, considering how popular the camp is and all. If I were a younger man and prone to such ranting I might start babbling on about fate and destiny and all that malarkey. Fortunately I'm not at all like that. So all that's left is for me to ask if you are still interested in the position?"

Jenny blinked. That was a bit abrupt. Then the meaning of his words sunk in. There was still a position open? Yes! This was a great opportunity. If she accepted she would spend the summer upstate in a private camp that catered to middle school kids. Jenny would be a part of the team of counselors that helped the kids learn new skills while living at the camp. She would have a chance to help the kids with computers, arts and crafts, animal care and a host of other classes. Wow.

Jenny had read the brochure and application and instantly decided it was worth pursuing. But now the decision was upon her. Did she want to accept this position and spend the summer away from everyone? What would her parents think of the idea? What would her friends say? Nevermind them, her subconscious announced, how would Julian react? What if she couldn't see him when she was away? That didn't seem likely but the thought was enough to cause her to pause and reconsider saying yes automatically. She settled on what she hoped was a diplomatic answer.

"Yes sir I am still interested. However I would like to take tonight to talk it over with my folks and make sure they are okay with me doing it if that's all right."

He smiled briefly before turning his attention to the manila folder open in front of him.

"I'm sure that will be fine," he murmured as he opened the folder and browsed the papers contained inside. He let a silence manifest itself while he continued to read for a few minutes.

It was all Jenny could do not to actually start squirming in her seat. What was the holdup? He asked, she answered. It seemed as though she had fulfilled her part of their little tête-à-tête so why hadn't he dismissed her? A sigh threatened to escape and with a force of will she swallowed instead of releasing it. 

After what Jenny felt sure was an eon Mr. Twitche finished reading and shuffled the papers before closing the folder once again.

"All right. According to my information you can let the camp know by Friday and that should be fine. Come and see me before you leave Thursday and let me know what you've decided and if you accept the position you can contact the camp from here and let them know Friday morning."

Taking this as her cue to leave Jenny stood up and made her way to the door.

"Thanks Mr. Twitche, see you Thursday."

"Okay, see you Thursday."

Jenny restrained herself from actually running out of the building but her pace was still pretty close to sprinting. After being forced to stop at every traffic light between school and her house she finally made it home. Trust today of all days to find every light turning red upon her approach, she thought darkly as she climbed the steps and entered her house.

Shutting the door firmly behind her she sagged against it, allowing an enormous sigh to finally escape her lips. In the next instant she had made a mad dash for her bedroom, slamming the door and dumping her bookbag on the floor in one fell swoop.

Time for bed.

Jenny peeled off her pants and shirt and pulled on a lightweight cotton night shirt. The fabric was worn from so many washings but it was so comfortable. Settling under the sheet she closed her eyes and tried to will herself asleep. She focused on slowing down her breathing and evening out its tempo. Jenny concentrated and imagined herself getting sleepier with every breath taken until she felt drowsy.

"It feels like an entire age has passed since I saw you last."

Jenny smiled without opening her eyes. That voice meant she had actually fallen asleep but she wasn't taking any chances that she really was simply hallucinating Julian's presence in her bedroom. She quickly took stock of her position. She felt like she was laying down, and if the soft material cushioning her weight was any indication she was on a bed. But was it her own? The feeling of lips brushing the nape of her neck and of a hand snaking around her waist grounded Jenny in her dream. She was really asleep and back in Julian's arms.

"It was worse for me, I assure you." She murmured as she twisted herself to face him. She opened her eyes to find Julian's amused glance upon her features.

"What is so funny?" she asked, smiling in spite of her question.

"You are." He replied without hesitation. "Didn't you believe you were asleep?"

"After the trouble I went through to get back home and get here I wasn't taking any chances."

He grinned at her and reached over to run his fingers through her hair, twisting some of the strands around his hand.

"So tell me all about it."

As she recounted the last few hours she grew more and more nervous as it came closer to the time to tell him her big news. She toyed with a button on his shirt while she talked about seeing the counselor, unwilling to meet his gaze as she talked about the job and what it entailed. Finally she had to announce it.

"And so he told me that the position I had applied for was still open and that it was basically mine if I want it."

Jenny held her breath and tensed, not really knowing why she did. She didn't have to wait long for a reaction. It was near immediate. Julian leaned down and kissed her. It was over far too soon for her taste but when she opened her eyes she saw nothing but happiness reflected in Julian's eyes.

"I'm proud of you, Jenny. This sounds like a great opportunity and something you'll be a natural at."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

When she breathed a sigh of relief he narrowed his gaze.

"Out with it."

"What?" she was confused by the look he was giving her.

"Why didn't you think I'd be happy for you?"

She blushed.

"It was silly. It's nothing, really."

"Jenny…" his voice held a hint of a warning.

"Okay, okay. It's just that I was thinking about what will happen when I go away. And I was wondering if I would still see you and it made me worry, that's all."

If she was hoping for prompt reassurance that he would continue to see her no matter where she was Jenny realized she was in for a long wait as the moments ticked by without a response from Julian. He was looking down at her shirt but Jenny could tell that his attention was elsewhere. Just when she was about to ask him what was wrong he met her gaze.

"I don't know if you will see me when you go away."

"WHAT?!" 

All she could do was look at him with her mouth hung open and her eyes as wide as saucers. I really didn't mean to scream, she thought absently. She felt bad when Julian winced at the noise. She was, after all, only a few inches away from him. His ears were probably ringing.

"I said 'I don't know if you will see me when you go away'."

That brought her out of her stupor.

"I heard you, you idiot." His eyebrow rose at the choice of endearment but he said nothing. "What are you talking about?"

He shrugged.

"I won't lie to you, Jenny. I can't promise that you're going to see me. And not just when you go away in a few weeks. I can't tell you that you'll see me the next time you go to sleep, either."

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Disclaimer:  No character ownership here. Stop looking at me like that! If polygraphs were admissible in court I'd take one, just to prove it to you.

Author's Note: Sorry about the incredible delay in posting, and for the death threats this chapter is likely to generate. Go read Amber Evans Potter and Rashel Jordan. They both like Draco like I do and Rashel even has a story about my fav ship…Draco/Hermione! Whoo hoo! Plus Amber has some Laby stories and I do love the Goblin King!

On to the thank you portion:

Skyfire—Thank you. I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope that the lack of playful banter is ok.

Amber Evans Potter—I had to actually let go of the mouse and focus on laughing when I got your review. You guys are the best! I hope that Hawaii was a good time? It seems as though your sense of humor remained intact, in fact it seems to have blossomed even more. Thanks especially to the level head that calmed everyone down and stopped the release of the Howler. Sorry about the delay, I really am. I WILL DO BETTER!

Pixxi—Iambic pentameter!? Crack me up! That was always one of my favorite things about Shakespeare. Not that I could distinguish it from a haiku but still…I guess I should feel blessed that your own guilt about Easter has kept you from harassing me about this chapter, hmm? Thanks for reading and reviewing more than once. Your review made me smile and did get my fingers to tapping.

Francesca—Short, sweet, to the point. And point taken, btw! I will cease my delay in posting! I will update faster!

Francesca—Yes ma'am!

Pixxi—I hope you got a chance to read this before having to leave for your aunt's house? If not, I hope it was a welcome surprise upon your return. Hope your easter was a good one! 

Arella—Welcome! Your kind words are much appreciated and do help me write faster! Thank you for reading and writing!

Beanie—Indentured servitude? Hilarious! I haven't heard that term since history class! Thanks for checking in and writing a review that guaranteed my day would be a happy one.

Clare—I don't want to give too much away but the plan now is for Julian and Jenny to see each other when she is awake. We're not there yet though so don't hold me to anything. I apologize for the delay in posting, I know you had mentioned wanting a quick update. Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of updating every few days instead of this long. Thank you for reading and reviewing as always.

Shadow—I swear I won't be able to wear anything but button-down shirts if my head swells any more. Short, sweet, to the point…your review was terrific.

Pixxi—Well Jenny did have something to do with the whole her staying with Julian thing. So German gummy bunnies, huh? Do they taste like gummy bears or are they flavored differently? Will they be making an appearance in "Easter"? Jenny is having issues because Julian can't appear in the real world and our dear heroine is worried that she may never have Julian the way she wants him. Anyway you crack me up, you know that, right?

CeredwenFlame—Hey, think nothing of it. Update ASAP or sooner? I like that! That is quite catchy! Sorry my update fell way out of the range of ASAP into way later land. I do appreciate you, though and will strive to be a better updater.

Venus Smurf—You "gush"…I like that word! I haven't heard it in a while but now that I have been reintroduced to it I may just add it to my vocab. And as for Jenny's problems well you answered your own question… "She needs to wake up and realize that she's got the perfect guy in the palm of her hands--well, as perfect as a man stuck in a dream can be."  That's the crux of the whole dilemma. She wants him to be perfect when she's awake, too. I don't anticipate writing that the whole dream thing gets old between them but after a while you gotta want more. At least I plan on Julian and Jenny both feeling it. You are such an angel…hating vacations? No way, no how! Although I do confess that being away from my computer for a few days gives me hives. I have power over you? That's so sweet and of course absurd but an amusing thought nonetheless. And could you be more awesome for checking out "It Had to Be You"? Seriously. How did you get to be so great? You deserve a great vacation and I am sending happy, peaceful, restful thoughts your way as I write.

Zabella—Ha! You are hilarious! Sorry to report that they will not be having sex anytime soon so we're all going to have to get used to the frustration level! Thanks for reviewing!

Kyia-Kenobi—Hey I was happy to go visit your site, no thanks needed. But I need to thank you for updating my limited supply of UK slang…I appreciate it. Thanks for reviewing!

Cat—So I hope your spring break was fun if not a little short. I appreciate your level of enthusiasm for the plot, it makes writing this more worthwhile! Sorry the update was slower than the pace I had going there for a while…I'm trying to do better! Thank you for reviewing!

Pixxi—hey again! You are so funny! You're about to go bonkers, huh? And what's up with laying the guilt trip on me..making you cry? I hate it when your eyes go all swirly, you know that! LOL…Sorry to hear about the computer trouble…that is about the time to break out the old sledgehammer to let the machine know who's the boss. Yeah, my updating has been pretty slow, huh? I apologize with the most sincere apologies I can muster. I don't intend to be overtly cruel by making you wait. I promise to try to do better….I can only imagine what horrors you have been cooking up to threaten me with if I don't update more rapidly! Thanks for always giving me a kick when I need one!

JLF—Aww, that is so sweet! I really appreciate that you felt that way; it means a lot that you felt compelled to review. Thanks so much for making my review box glow.

JLF—I did the same thing with my review page before, too! How funny! Sorry about the big time gap between updates…I didn't mean to. Your review made me smile for hours afterward so thank you for that. You're the one who is great, super, stupendous and fantastic!


	38. Chapter Thirty Eight

Jenny's mind whirled and she was struck speechless again. There were no coherent thoughts or words to be formed that seemed to be able to make it to the point of vocalization. Her heart was pounding relentlessly in her chest and her palms were cold and clammy. Without conscious thought she struck up a dialogue with herself.

_Did I just hear him right? Is what he said really possible? This could be the last time I ever see him? How did this not occur to me? I can't live like this…I can't live without him, can I? Oh god this can't be happening! It's not true! It's not!_

Luckily Julian resumed speaking, interrupting the hysteria of her thoughts.

"My presence within your dreams is tenuous at best. I recognize that. It's only going to last for so long. Until…" he broke off and seemed unable or more likely, unwilling to continue.

She shook her head in an attempt to settle the thoughts into some semblance of order.

The possibility that their interactions were finite never occurred to Jenny. That she was going to have to give up Julian was inconceivable. What did he know that she didn't? How much time did they have left?

**_Oh no!_**

She was already thinking of this as a definite event. That couldn't be a good sign. It meant she believed him and was ready to give up without a fight, and that was unacceptable. She needed Julian in her life and she was going to do whatever it took to keep him.

Jenny closed her eyes and slowly counted to ten, pausing to take a breath in between each number. She couldn't afford to become distraught. She needed a cool head to think through this and find the logical solution. But the need to know how much time they had plagued her thoughts and refused to be ignored.

"Until when?" she managed to croak out.

He sighed before continuing, running a hand through his white-blond locks before dropping it to his side in what Jenny saw as a gesture of defeat.

"Until you fall in love."

"What?!" She wanted to scream but it came out as a whisper.

Part of her worried that she would soon be reduced to monosyllabic responses forever.

The other part was confused.

What in the world was he talking about? _Until she fell in love?_ So did that mean that if she confessed her love he would vanish?

Or…

No. It wasn't possible. No. Not at all. The fact that it even occurred to her was ludicrous, an aberration brought on by all the stress of recent events. There was no way for it to be true, none at all. There was hardly anything worse than the thought that her love would be the cause for Julian's exit from her life.

Hardly anything, except…

…that he meant she wasn't actually in love with him now.

She grabbed her head with both of her hands as if to stop the treacherous thought from forming, let alone escaping.

It simply wasn't possible that what she felt for Julian was anything but love. Jenny refused to believe it was simple lust. This wasn't some cheap and tawdry affair they were having. They were in this for the long haul, as in forever.

_Although_, her mind whispered in a soft voice that seemed to drip with poison, you _have_ been wondering if maybe you are too young to be thinking about forever, haven't you? You _did_ question if you would ever be able to have a normal relationship outside of your dreams, didn't you? That _must_ mean that some part of you believes this thing with Julian will end someday, right? And that part must want an _ordinary_ relationship—isn't that right?

If Julian had been paying attention to Jenny he would have known her thoughts immediately just from her expressions, which were becoming increasingly pained. But he was lost in his own thoughts, torturing himself with morbid visions of a future without Jenny.

Did he exist before he saw her? Sometimes it felt like his life before her was the dream, and this was the reality. Dropping his head to his chest he breathed deeply, trying to rein in the pain that threatened to escape at any moment. He wanted to howl in a voice overflowing with rage, for his pain was born of anger. He was enraged there was even a chance that Jenny would be taken away from him.

If he was being honest with himself he had to admit that he had known about this possibility almost from day one. He had been denying its existence from the moment he had become aware of it, determined to simply ignore it. But the more time he spent with Jenny the more he became sensitive to the fact that he was simply being selfish. He loved Jenny and she needed to know. It was only fair. As it was the fact that he had kept the knowledge secret for so long was going to cause her tremendous pain. It was the guilt over being the cause of her suffering that had driven him to confession tonight. He abruptly ceased his mental flagellation and continued to explain, knowing each word was causing both of them anguish.

"Your heart's desire is what's keeping me here and it's also what will send me away."

"I don't understand." She wondered when she had begun crying. Her voice was wavering and laden with tears.

He shrugged a shoulder before answering. She watched the movement and wondered at his ability to seem so blasé about the whole matter.

"It's pretty simple. Your heart wants me here now. But when that changes I will cease to be able to come to you. I've been trying to recall everything I can about our bond and it seems to be right from what I remember."

Jenny just stared at him, silent tears cascading down her cheeks. She let the words he said roll around for a while without actually trying to process them.

Deciding to distract herself she took in his appearance. He was so beautiful. It was unusual to use that term to describe males but it was so apropos for him. His hair was like tangible sunshine and as smooth as the softest threads. His eyes were simply indescribable in their beauty. The color had no parallel and reflected so much emotion, all for her. His lips were a little wistful now but they were capable of expressing all the wonders of the world including how he felt for her, and of course they transmitted more pleasure than Jenny had even known existed.

She suddenly ceased the analysis as a thought occurred to her. It was a horrible thought and yet at the same time if it was true then there just might be a chance for them.

"Are you talking about making love?"

Julian's eyebrows shot up and his eyes opened even wider. While it was normally a safe bet that he _would_ be entertaining thoughts of that nature whenever he was around Jenny he hadn't been thinking along those lines at all. He wondered what made her think of that and voiced his confusion.

"What?"

She blushed, realizing all too late how random that must have sounded.

"Sorry. I'm just trying to understand all of this and it occurred to me that maybe you were talking about…that. Maybe you meant that if you and I were to, uh, well that is to say that if we ever, um, _you know, _that that would be it. Sort of like the unfinished business the ghost has on earth theory."

He actually smiled at that.

"So you want to know if the reason I'm here with you is actually because I can't leave until we have sex?"

"Well when you say it like that it sounds dumb." She admitted with a small smile of her own.

"The short answer is no." He laid himself back against the pillows and closed his eyes, still smiling.

Jenny lapsed into silence once more. She had thought that was a good theory. Not that she liked the idea of never sleeping with Julian but still, if it meant she could keep him around then she

was on board for abstinence.

She tried to understand, taking it one sentence at a time. If her theory was wrong then she was missing something. Something crucial. Okay, one sentence at a time. Here goes.

He was here because her heart wanted him here. _Ok, got it._

But that is also what will cause him to not come to her anymore. _No clue there._

He would only be there until she fell in love. _Did that mean she wasn't in love with Julian? _

It sure felt like love.

She couldn't dwell on that again so she decided she had to talk the whole thing out. Maybe it was some magic formula wherein hearing the words would suddenly make their meaning apparent.

Sometimes hearing it aloud made sense in a way that reading or thinking it didn't. She was desperate enough to try anything.

"Let me get this straight. You are here because my heart wants you here, right?"

"Correct."

"But that is also what will send you away, right?"

"Right."

"So once I fall in love you have to leave?"

"Yes." His voice was barely above a whisper.

She took a deep fortifying breath before vocalizing her fears.

"What does that mean? If I say that I'm in love with you then you vanish?"

He looked startled for a minute.

"No." His voice was back to normal.

"No?"

_What the hell? It couldn't be the other. It just couldn't. Oh please._

And then…_oh. Oh!_

"Oh!"

"Oh?" Now it was his turn to look confused.

"You dummy!"

She was so relieved that she did the only thing that seemed to make sense at the time—she hit him in the arm as hard as she could. And then she flung herself into his arms sobbing her eyes

out.

He let her cry for a while before speaking.

"You know…if anyone should be reduced to tears it's me. I mean _I'm_ the one who has been insulted and beaten without provocation."

She laughed and then sniffed, trying to stop her tears. When she felt like she had herself under control she tilted back and looked at him.

"Don't you ever do that to me again."

"Do what? Incite you to violence? Trust me I won't." He replied in a voice heavy with sarcasm. He made a point of rubbing his arm as he talked.

"Don't you ever use some lame logic and threaten to go away."

"Lame logic? Oh this just gets better and better."

She giggled before continuing.

"I stand by my choice of words. Yes 'lame' because it'll never happen and you should know that, you big moron."

"Stop trying to flatter me. My ego is large enough as it is. I can barely take any more." He said in a dry voice.

She reached over and took his face between her hands, cradling it. She leaned closer and smiled softly before speaking in a voice to match.

"I am never going to change my heart's desire. I am never going to send you away. I am never going to fall in love…" she broke off as tears welled up and the emotion choked her throat. He

opened his mouth to speak and she silenced him with a shake of her head.

"I am never going to fall in love," she paused again but continued after a much shorter break and a moment for a restorative breath.

"I am never going to fall in love with someone who isn't you."

Julian let out the breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding with those words. He closed his eyes and pulled her into his embrace, not trusting himself to speak. They stayed like that for a long time, simply content to hold each other.

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Disclaimer: Do I own the characters? My answer is as negative as an electron's charge, my friends.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, folks. I posted the last chapter before I left on vacation. I didn't say I was going on vacation because I had a hunch someone might try and track me down to beat me within an inch of my life for the way I ended the last chapter. It was a personal safety issue, I assure you. Please accept my humble apology. Before I go on to the thank you portion I should mention that anyone's story that I usually review and haven't….well I wanted to get this up first and stop all the bad mojo being sent my way. Also, please go and read LoPotter's story "Never is A Promise". I have a campaign to get the story finished and if I can just get enough people reviewing I have high hopes of getting the author to cave! Please read Skyfire's story "Mind Shatter". I watched FoTR recently and have a serious yen for Legolas (and Mr. Bloom as well…sigh) and was thinking about beautiful blond men and of course Jareth is right up there. So read her story about the Labyrinth.

Enough out of me, on to the thank you portion:

**Pixxi**—Sorry I didn't distract you from your history homework. Maybe you have some geometry that can wait? You swore on Julian that Eater would be up and I have yet to see it! Maybe my computer is on the fritz? I'll keep looking! And a big yippee about Forbidden Dreams! You are not dumb, I didn't mind the Post-It, really I didn't. Put your trusty poster of Tinky-Winky away and I promise to be good.

**Skyfire**—I don't know CPR so I really really hope you've been revived! Talk to me! Stay away from the light!

**Venus Smurf**—Not only will I tell you that I still use the word "dude" but that I use it as an endearment for both my dad and best friend. "Appreciation for my genius", eh? Repeat after me…"Step away from the crack pipe"…you need to stop smoking. I must admit that I thoroughly enjoy this little mutual admiration society we've got going for each other here, but you are the epitome of creativity and genius, not me. I'm in the mailroom and you're the CEO. Sorry about my being evil, too. I re-read the previous chapter when I got back and realized I was straying toward the Dark Side, for sure. I will be clicking my mouse as fast as I can over to "Roommate" as soon as I get this posted I swear! My mind is on high alert and I'm as jumpy as if I had two pounds of Skittles in a single sitting I'm so anxious to read it!

**Pixxi**—Hello again! No Kapoofy. There there. It's okay now. He's safe, for the moment anyway. (insert evil laugh) So what's the story behind no jelly-beans on the stairs? Sorry Connecticut was not the best time ever. I'm with you on the whole too much candy thing too, for sure. I'm so glad you loved this chapter even though it was more Vadar than little Anakin.

**melissarxy1**—Welcome! A thousand times welcome! Wow! All in one sitting? I'm truly honored. No one ever says anything about my spelling and grammar so thanks for that. And you said the magic word, too! How nice! Sorry this was so long in coming but I was out of town. I hope to get the next chapter up much sooner! Thank you for weighing in with your views! I appreciate it!

**Clare**—Hey there, clare! Sorry about the delays in updating, I really am! Thank you for encouraging me like you always do. Your reviews make me smile.

**Kyia****-Kenobi**—I know, and I really am sorry about the length of time in updating. Sorry too about your sister being unduly influenced by the near smut of my story. I don't really want to be responsible for scarring someone for life. Thank goodness for your laptop!

**Cat**—I was away (for too long, if my reviews are any indication) so I am sorry for not getting this chapter up sooner! Thank you for saying please and for wanting to read the next chapter!

**Amber Evans Potter**—Julian, sorry about scaring her into a near heart attack but I suspect that she was really hoping you knew CPR and would be forced to give her mouth-to-mouth. Being the nice person I am I was only trying to help…sorry Jenny. So you guys need more steam, hmm? Well I'll see what I can do. Sorry this chapter was steamless. If you think Amber can handle it maybe you can tell her I laughed to the point of tears at her latest review and that I wouldn't have promoted her fic if I didn't think ppl would like it. But I'll let you guys make the call on that one….Lord knows I don't want to be held responsible for any fainting spells or anything like that.

**CeredwenFlame**—Oh good lord I laughed so hard at your review! You are hilarious! Thank you for giving me a good laugh that boosted my endorphins for quite a while!

**JLF**—Sorry I can't tell you that I'm wrong (if only because I hate admitting it ever) but I can at least tell you thank you for reviewing and I hope that this chapter didn't leave you too emotional?

**Shadow**—hee hee. I sign in on my sister's AOL account so I get it. No worries.

**Star (I mean Shadow)—**gob smacked? That is a GREAT phrase! Thanks for not saying I'm really evil and mean, even if you secretly thought I was. Sorry about making you wait at the edge of that cliff for so long!

**Pixxi**—I'm glad I was able to give you a good present. Can't wait to read about the German gummy bunnies.


	39. Chapter Thirty Nine

Jenny paused on the bottom stair, apprehensive about facing her family at dinner. She had no doubts that they would support her 100%...eventually. It was the possibility of an emotional scene that left her rooted to the spot, too scared to walk the few remaining steps to the table. She chided herself for even harboring such childish fears and completed the journey post haste.

"Hi guys," she greeted her family as she took her place at the table.

"Oh honey are you feeling better?" her mom made her way over to Jenny and placed a hand on her forehead, intent on determining her daughter's well-being for herself.

Inwardly Jenny grinned from ear to ear but her expression remained calm. It would seem that for once one of her plans was progressing without a hitch.

"Yeah. I went to the nurse's office at lunch and she had me lie down for the rest of the day. Then when I got home I went straight to bed for another nap."

"Good. I want you in bed early tonight, too."

"Okay."

"So how was the rest of school today?" her dad asked, casting an amused glance at his wife as she sat back down in her chair.

It was just the opening she had been looking for.

"Well I got called to Mr. Twitche's office today."

"Oh? What for?" her mom questioned.

She proceeded to lay it all out for them, careful to keep her tone hovering between very interested and excited. When she was finished she settled back into her chair and enjoyed a few more bites of her dinner in silence, allowing her family the time they needed to process the information.

"Well," her mother broke the silence but said no more.

"What do you think?" Jenny asked, looking between her parents and over at her brother. "Does it sound like a waste of time?"

"No, not at all." Her father insisted.

He was following the parental code of behavior to a perfect "t." She knew her parents would try and convince her to go if they really thought it was a good idea and conversely they would discourage her in a heartbeat as well if they thought otherwise.

"It's just happening a little fast is all." Her mother added.

"Well Mr. Twitche said I could let the camp know by Friday. But if that isn't enough time I can ask for more."

"I think we can reach a decision by then." Her dad said. "Let's go over the pros and cons and see what sounds like the best decision."

In the end it was no contest, really. Camp had won out, just as Jenny had thought. As she prepared for bed she smiled at her good fortune. But that smile dimmed a moment later when she realized that she had yet to fill her friends in on any of this stuff. Just when one obstacle is hurdled the next one springs up to take its place, she thought with a sigh.

Then the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is Jenny there?"

"This is."

"Hey Jenny, it's Summer."

"Oh hey Summer, what's up?"

"Well when you missed your afternoon classes I got a little worried about you."

"Oh thanks! That's so sweet. But I'm okay. Just felt a bit flushed and had a bit of a temperature. I should be okay after some rest."

"Well I have the assignments you missed whenever you want them."

"Anything important?"

"Nah. Mostly just review for the finals. If you don't come tomorrow I'll call you and give them to you."

"Well thanks. I appreciate that."

"No problem. Hey listen, I'm going to let you get some sleep and I hope you feel better."

"Thanks for calling Summer. Talk to you tomorrow, one way or another."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

As she hung up Jenny realized that she had just let a prime opportunity to fish for details about the budding "Zach/Summer" relationship pass. Darn it! Oh well, she supposed she could do it at the slumber party…wait a minute! The slumber party! Shoot! She'd been so caught up in the whole plan to get to sleep more that she had somehow failed to take into account this one big drawback. So much for having a plan that went off without a hitch.

So now the question was whether or not to stay home tomorrow? If she stayed home tomorrow there was a real chance that her mom wouldn't let her go to the slumber party. On the other hand, did she really want to pass up the chance to be with Julian all day long? Aaggh! What to do?

Sleep, of course. Like there was any question, really. She would go to sleep and talk things over with Julian…if there was time left to talk.

Jenny started to giggle with that thought. What a thing for her to be thinking about! Not that it wasn't completely natural, of course, given the subject, but still, it was a bit unlike her.

Becoming serious for a moment she allowed herself to think more on the topic. Maybe it _wasn't_ unlike her. Sure in the past she may have not been prone to thoughts like these but now, well she had changed since The Games, hadn't she? Maybe thoughts like these came part and parcel with the new attitude of a girl who found she was falling for a guy unlike any other.

That thought left Jenny feeling decidedly happy so when she fell asleep moments later she still bore the ghost of a smile on her lips.

When she opened her eyes it was to a scene unlike any other.  To her left was a huge fireplace which was sporting an enormous blaze. The firelight wasn't the only light in the room, however. In front of her Jenny noticed French doors that led out to a balcony. Through these doors silvery beams of moonlight were flooding the floor. 

But it wasn't the moonlight that caused Jenny to gasp in delight. It was her favorite Shadow Man lounging on the balcony, staring right at her.

God he was beautiful! Tonight he looked even sexier than usual if such a thing was even possible. He was wearing a tuxedo but the cumber bund was missing as was the tie. Instead the top few buttons were left open, affording Jenny the view of some of Julian's finely sculpted chest.

And dear god, he was standing next to a bowl of strawberries…

She made her way over to him, unconsciously provocative in her movements. A slow heat began to burn within his eyes as he captured her gaze. It was incredible sexy and started an accompanying heat within Jenny's stomach, which pooled and began to spread through her limbs.

Arriving within arm's length she reached up and looped her arms around his neck, urging him down for a kiss. His lips met hers and she was sure she was branded from the heat they generated between them. After what felt like an eternity of pure bliss Jenny sighed into him.

"Hi," Her voice was soft and throaty.

"Hi yourself," His voice was deep and husky; "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"How was your day?" he inquired, and as she told him he reached down and picked up one of the strawberries. She asked for his input on the slumber party versus ditching school debate. He paused in the act of dipping the fruit into a bowl of hot fudge she hadn't noticed before.

"Well of course I want you here with me," he teased, sending her a smile. "But I suppose that it would be good to be with your friends, too. Especially if you're going away for the summer. They won't get to see you as much and they'd probably like to get in as much time together before that happens as they can."

She shrugged a shoulder, considering his words absently. Her eyes were trained on the lush ripe strawberry he held in his fingers. Noticing what her attention was on Julian grinned and brought the fruit up to his lips. He was almost unable to take a bite when he saw the hunger in her gaze but he managed.

"That looks like it tastes good," Jenny said, nodding her chin toward his hand. Julian indicated the bowl with a wave of his hand.

"It's very good. Would you like some?"

"Yes, I believe I would like a taste, thank you."

And before he knew what was happening she had crushed herself to him, her lips seeking his in a blatantly carnal kiss that stunned him with its intensity. Jenny tugged on his lower lip with his teeth and when he gasped she took the opportunity to snake her tongue inside his mouth. She allowed it to sweep over his, delighting in the flavor of the strawberries and chocolate.

She used her hands to divest him of his jacket and when it had dropped to the floor she eased his shirt open enough to run her palms underneath his collar and up to his shoulders.

As she did this shudder went through Julian. Underneath her fingers she felt the sleek muscles of his back flex and grow taut. She gloried in the knowledge that she could have such an obvious effect on him.

Julian was never one to remain passive for long. Once he regained control of his thought processes he decided Jenny had been reeking havoc with his senses and having fun for too long. With a growl low in his throat he placed his hands on Jenny's hips and backed her into the nearest wall. She smiled against his lips and went to work on the buttons of his shirt. Once she had pulled it out of the waistband of his pants and then off of him completely she broke free of his lips and went to work trailing kisses across his chest and down his stomach. He sucked in his breath and she laughed.

"What's the matter?" she asked between kisses.

"Absolutely nothing. Unless you count the fact that you have far too many clothes on."

She abruptly ceased her kisses and stood up to face him, one finger tapping against her lips and her brow creased as if she were in deep thought.

"You know I do believe you're right," she announced. "Whatever can we do to rectify the situation?"

He just smirked and reached for her, using one arm to hold her against his length by her waist while the other went to the zipper at the back of her dress. As he bent his head and captured her lips it occurred to her that she didn't even know what she was wearing. But as the material crumpled at her feet in a pile she decided it didn't matter. A cool breeze danced across her skin and she shivered, moving closer to Julian to keep warm.

He felt her shiver and picked her up, smiling when she nestled her head against his shoulder. He made his way back into the room beyond the balcony and as he did so the French doors closed behind him of their own accord. He went over to the fireplace and gently deposited Jenny on a thick rug that had appeared in front of the flames.

He pulled away and disappeared into the darkness for a moment. Jenny turned and studied the flames, idly wondering what it was about fire that so thoroughly entranced the attention of anyone who saw it. It was as if the answers to all of life's greatest mysteries could somehow be found within the depths of the flames, if only one would be patient enough to seek them.

She started briefly when Julian's arms encircled her with a warm blanket. He positioned himself behind her and she lay back against him, happy to snuggle for a moment. He held a strawberry in front of her in silent invitation and she leaned forward to take a bite. Mmm, it tasted good. But then again she expected nothing less. She hummed her appreciation.

"How is it?" he asked, although her unintelligible murmuring told him she liked it.

"Pretty good although it could use some whipped crème," she stated with a smile, tilting back to meet his gaze. He grinned at her.

************************************************************************

Disclaimer: I am a not with profit writer (at the moment, anyway). I can barely claim sanity, let alone that I own LJ Smith's character.

Author's Notes: First of all I would like to promote melissarxy1 and JLF's fics. Worth a look. Also if I didn't comment on your review *please please please* let me know! I go off of the ones that come through in my e-mail and I was just informed that my mail quota was exceeded for a while but I still got some messages, just not others…who knows how these things work? Anyway if you don't see an acknowledgement I am not snubbing you! Let me know so I can make amends! 

Yeah so I'm working on a Law and Order:CI fic and that's what's been taking up my muse's time. Plus I am having some serious issues with connecting to FF.Net. It keeps saying "site overload." Is that just happening to me? Anyway on to the thank-you portion:

Pixxi—I hate that I am once again the cause of your eyes going all swirly and I do apologize. My life is running away from me. So if you get a Julian you'll play with him everyday? And feed him? And take him on walks? I'm sorry, but since you didn't add "bathe him" to the list I'm afraid you can't have him. What sort of cookies are you trying to bribe me with, anyway?

Pixxi—So you're feeling guilty about Easter? What sorts of difficulties are you running into with it? Is it just that you don't like what you have, are you in writer's block, what? I agree with you about the Jenny/Julian interactions in the books. It always irked me that she remembered Tom….the fact that she *forgot him* in the first place was pretty telling for me…thanks for kicking me in the pants to get this update out. *rubs sore spot and wonders if detergent will get rid of the footprints*

Kyia-Kenobi—Ah the freedom of being away from home. No sharing or anything of the like unless you want to! Thanks for checking in! 

Amber—Just this once I'll only address you, because I feel guilty for Jenny kicking your ass. I have to wonder about Jenny, though. She wants my vacation address so Julian can come stalk me? So she obviously thinks I'm no match for her and that Julian's safe with me, huh? I don't know whether to admire her confidence or feel annoyed and take it out on her in the next chapter? lol Thanks for going that extra mile to ensure that your reviews are some of the most memorable I will ever receive.

CeredwenFlame—So this update doesn't even come closer to ASAP or sooner, unless ASAP suddenly stands for As Slowly As Possible. lol Thanks for saying that my story amazes you. That's really sweet!

melissarxy1—Boy you really know how to make a girl feel great! Your review was so thoughtful and it made me feel so good about this fic. So thank you, very very much. 

Clare—Thank you for forgiving me…I don't get that a lot! Hee hee. Yes, you're right. Any girl would have to do some serious soul-searching to discover a worthy reason (if one even exists) as to why she did not find herself head-over-feet for Julian. And thanks for the compliments…you may have said it before but that doesn't diminish its impact at all. I still feel humbled and all around pretty darn happy!

Pixxi—My dear pixxistixx4me I cannot imagine you going crackers…but your use of that word made me laugh for at least a good solid minute. Yeah, I like to change things up a bit, have Julian act like the insecure one. But only for a little bit. Hey, don't worry about Easter…tests are important and need to be studied for, I get that. I hope you discovered that you didn't bomb any of them. But the end is in sight and summer is on its way so you've got to be feeling pretty good about that, right? If my muses went and got drunk that would go a long way towards explaining their absence until recently…that must have been the mother of all hangovers they were getting over! I just wish they would have invited me along for the ride. I do that with fics I really like, too. I always read more than once. As far as suggestions go for holidays, how about Flag Day? (*images of Julian in _only a flag come to mind*….*drool*…*sigh*) _

Venus Smurf—Are you sure that you're not part vampire? Because you've got me in your thrall and I have to wonder. It's so strong that I question whether it's supernatural in origin. Not only am I lucky enough to have *your* stories to read, and re-read, and look forward to, but then I find myself blessed to have *you* seek my work out and lavish such praise as I had never dreamed of reading. 

Sorry about the delay in updating. I went to work on my HP fic and then this Law and Order one just will not let go but I'm not posting that one until I have it mapped out at least, if not completely written. "Let's just hope Julian stops being so unbelievably stupid. As if Jenny could ever love anyone but him! If he weren't so wonderful, I'd think he was a dork for even coming up with an idea like that."—Hee hee! You crack me up! I love the use of the word 'dork.' It makes me smile to say it or just hear it. I'm glad you like the mental flagellation thing, too—it made me giggle and that's a sure sign, well that I am far too easily amused I'm sure. 

So you're not on drugs? You're just a groupie? Well that works out nicely for us that we are each other's groupies…I just need to find a cool name for my posse.

And no, I am not making fun of you 'gushing'...not at all! I want to assure you that I wouldn't spend my time reviewing and trying to be as elaborate and creative as I can with *your* stories' comments if I just wanted the same from you, either. So now we both know. You're the absolute best and I just feel so light and carefree whenever I get a message from you so thanks for that.

Shadow--*Still drooling from the Julian in Chocolate images* Well as you can tell I took some inspiration from your comments. Jenny/Julian is what I like too. I'm glad you liked that chapter. Thanks so much for taking the time to review and for the lovely imagery.


	40. Chapter Forty

"I like the way you think." And before Jenny could so much as say 'Abracadabra!' there was a bowl of whipped crème in front of them. Julian retrieved another strawberry and dipped it into the bowl and held it just out of reach above Jenny's head so she was forced to crane her neck back. The blanket fell off her shoulders, forgotten. Then he 'accidentally' dropped the strawberry so it tumbled down Jenny's front, leaving a trail of whipped crème in its wake.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed, bolting upright. Turning to Julian she saw the look of glee on his face and narrowed her eyes at him. "You did this on purpose, didn't you?"

"Who, me?" he replied with such an exaggerated look of innocence that Jenny couldn't help but laugh.

"Very funny. Now I have to go clean this off."

"Oh allow _me_," he said, his voice dropping in timbre with each word. Then he bent over her and proceeded to lick the first spot of whipped crème within reach. Jenny arched into him and sighed loudly.

"I like the way _you_ think."

He grinned and moved to the next spot, working his way up and down her body. She giggled when his tongue hit an especially sensitive spot and bit her lip to keep from crying out when he licked the cup of her bra. By the time he was done 'helping' her clean up she was writhing underneath him and they were both breathing heavily.

She curled her leg around his, trailing her foot up his calf muscle. Jenny went to work on the buttons of his shirt, smiling against his lips when Julian decided to help her by ripping the shirt open, sending the buttons flying in every direction. She let her fingers trail down his neck to his chest, where she splayed them over the smooth skin. She bent to kiss the hollow at the base of his throat and when her tongue darted out to taste him it was Julian's turn to sigh in contentment.

"This is heaven," he murmured.

"I couldn't agree more," she replied.

He bent his head so there foreheads were resting against one another. They took a few moments to catch their breath and gaze into each other's eyes.

"So why the extra dose of romance tonight?" Jenny asked.

"What do you mean?"

Jenny rolled her eyes.

"The strawberries. The tux. The dress. Was there something special you had planned for tonight? Something we're celebrating that you're going to let me in on?"

He tilted his head back and laced his fingers around her neck, using his thumbs to caress her jaw line in slow circles.

"_You_ are what we're celebrating tonight. We're celebrating how sexy you are, how wonderful I feel when I'm with you. We're celebrating the time we've been granted together, and our gratitude for that time and for each other."

One of the definite pluses for having a boyfriend who was older than millennia was the lines he had picked up along the way. They were smooth, that's for sure, and melted Jenny into a puddle when he said them with that look in his eyes reserved only for her. She leaned in and kissed him, a slow soft kiss that soon turned into a heated embrace.

"Plus," Julian said later, as if he had never stopped talking, "You have finals coming up and the slumber party tomorrow night."

"So?"

"Well you're probably planning on staying up all night at the slumber party and then you'll most likely pull a few all-nighters for finals, right?"

"It could happen, sure. Why?" Then it hit her. "Oh no! I won't see you!"

He chuckled.

"So I wanted to give you some nice memories to help get you through the next few days."

"I like the sound of that," she replied, "But how about a little sample of what you've got in store for me when I get back?"

"And what makes you think I've got anything in mind?" he said with a smile.

"Because you've obviously been thinking ahead and planning for a while. So let me in on the secret."

He pretended to consider her request and laughed when she pouted up at him. He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Well maybe I do have something special planned. But it's a surprise."

"Come on, give me a hint!"

"Okay. It has to do with you, me, and a Jacuzzi."

She thought about that prospect for a moment, allowing all the delicious images to come forth.

"Yeah, I could get on board with that," She finally said in a throaty voice.

"Good. I'll be waiting for you," he replied, laughter evident in his tone. "But for now you better wake yourself up. You've got a long day ahead of you."

"Trying to get rid of me, are you?" she teased.

"Never in a million years." He denied.

"Okay I'll go. But I can't promise not to fall asleep and dream about you unexpectedly."

"I'll take my chances."

[[[[[]]]]]

And regretfully her eyes opened and she was once again in her own bed. Looking at the clock she realized with a groan that it was a full 45 minutes earlier than her normal wake-up time. Throwing the covers back she stumbled out of bed and gathered her things for a quick shower. Realizing that she wasn't fighting anyone for bathroom time since it was so early made her smile and she decided to run a bath instead. Adding all sorts of salts and gels whose scents made her little brother gag Jenny stripped down and plunged into the water, sighing in bliss as the heat slowly began to work its way into her skin.

"Hey mom," she greeted as she made her way to the refrigerator to grab the orange juice a little while later.

"You're up early. How are you feeling this morning?"

With a glance at the clock she smiled.

"I guess I am up early. But I want to get to school. I talked to Summer last night. She said I didn't miss anything too vital, just review stuff, but I want to make sure. Oh, and I'm feeling better. I'm thinking it was just the stress of all the stuff that's been happening. I'm just glad it didn't happen during finals…that would have stressed me out beyond belief."

"Well you better pack some extra food like another piece of fruit today, just to be sure."

Jenny promptly choked, her mind being called back to last night with the mere mention of fruit. She covered her coughing fit well.

She just shook her head at her mom's comments. Like a piece of fruit would help cure anything and everything? Gimme a break! But she said nothing aloud and just did as her mom asked, having learned long ago that her parents were sometimes easiest to get along with when she just went along with their crazy notions. After all, she had matured enough to realize that those suggestions came from a place of love and concern for her.

[[[[[]]]]]

Thankfully classes were so filled with endless review information that Jenny didn't have time to be accosted by any of her friends regarding her absence until lunch. Most of them simply mouthed an "Are you okay?" to which she replied with the obligatory thumbs-up sign.

As she sat down at "their" table it was Tom who turned to her.

"Where were you yesterday?"

Jenny took a moment to reflect on the fact that back in the old days Tom wouldn't have been amongst the last to know of one of her absences from school. He definitely wouldn't have waited until he saw her the next time to ask her about it, that's for sure.

"Well I was feeling a little flushed and went to the nurse's office to see if she had a cold pack for me to use during lunch but she insisted on taking my temperature and once she saw that had a slight fever she made me lie down…"

"So you spent the afternoon snoozing in the nurse's office? Nice. I wish _I_ had thought of that." Michael interjected with such a wistful sigh that it was hard not to laugh.

Audrey smacked his arm and turned to Jenny, who was laughing like everyone else.

"And nothing's wrong, right?"

Jenny simply smiled and shook her head at Audrey. She barely resisted the urge to say _"No, Mom, I'm fine. Want to see my extra piece of fruit to prove it?"_

"Great! So we're still on for tomorrow night then, right?"

Dee cheerfully announced with a look around that table which clearly meant that this particular topic of conversation was over.

"Oui, mon chere. So do you need us to bring anything?" Audrey questioned.

"Nope, I sure don't," Dee replied and then looked at Jenny and Summer who had yet to respond. "You guys are still coming over, aren't you?" After receiving the nods she was looking for she went back to her salad.

A companionable silence fell over the group and Jenny decided she may as well break the news now, instead of later. The longer she put it off the worse it was going to look.

"Hey guys, I've got some news."

All eyes swiveled to fix themselves on Jenny. Her own eyes widened in response. She suddenly felt like she was on trial.

"What is it?" Summer asked breaking the silence the staring had caused.

"Well I got accepted for this camp counselor position for the summer."

"I didn't know you were even looking into getting a summer job," Dee said in a voice that didn't quite manage to disguise the underlying disappointed tone.

_And we're off_…Jenny thought.

"Well I was interested for a while but I didn't decide to do anything about it until last week." Here she looked around at her friends and saw to her dismay that none of them were looking her in the eye.

"I just felt like doing something that would help me decide what to do with the rest of my life," she continued, although her friends' discomfort with the situation caused her voice to tremble a bit, "And this opportunity came up and it sounded like a pretty neat thing. So I took a chance and got accepted. I only found out about my acceptance the day before yesterday and my folks and I just finished making the decision last night."

"What camp is it?" Tom inquired. Jenny shot him a grateful look. At least he was trying to learn more. That was a sign of support, right?

"Camp Penwick."

"Oh. Well that's not that far away." Dee said, brightening considerably.

"No, it's not," Jenny agreed, "I'm sure you guys can come and visit. In fact I'll be insulted if you don't!"

"Road trip!" Michael yelled and they all laughed, the tension having dissolved almost magically.

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Disclaimer: Still living in the Land Where I Own None of LJS' Characters. But you will be the first to get my change of address card if I move.

Author's Note: Sorry about the delay with this chapter. I wasn't feeling it for the longest time. But anyhoo here it is. If you appreciate Star Wars and a good parody go over and check out Kiya-Kenobi's fics. And if you like a good fairy tale and are familiar with LJS' Night World series go over and check out Shadow's story: "Night World: A Fairy Tale." And now I must thank my lovely reviewers.

**Amber Evans Potter, Julian and Jenny**—Jenny, hope this chapter coerced you into allowing Julian back into your good graces? If not I hope the promise of the Jacuzzi will help you at least give poor Amber a break. Amber—I am going to try to keep Jenny happy. Julian—tsk, tsk. All these women fighting over you…looks behind shoulder for Jenny if it weren't for the fact that I know Jenny's your soulmate I would take you up on your offer to talk in private and I would do my best to eventually even talk. But that was a pretty low trick to play on Amber…I bet she had nightmares for weeks! Maybe you should do something to make it up to her?

**Agggghhhhh**—Welcome to my circle of reviewers! I'm so glad you found this site and are enjoying it…will we see any stories from you? Let me know and I'll be happy to check them out! Your review—wow! I mean, wow! It was so chock-full of feed-my-ego goodness that I'm _still_ on a high from reading it! So thank you for taking the time to find, read, and review my story…I certainly appreciate you doing so! Thank you for making _my_ day brighter!

**Venus Smurf**—Glad my command to Jenny left you cheering. I certainly intend to keep her horizontal as often as possible. I hope your finals went well? After reading your A/N from "Roommate" I'm guessing it'll be waaayyy past the appropriate time for me to ask but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you during your finals anyway. And if I could make a Julian for you I would. You know that, right?

Of course you're right on about Jenny missing her chance to spill the beans about camp with Summer. I decided to just have her wait until she got everybody together. Seemed like the fairest way to do things. I mean back in the day she would have told Tom but loser, er, um, I mean _Tom_ is out of the picture so maybe subconsciously Jenny felt that telling someone else before Tom would be a betrayal of sorts. So she's better off dropping the bomb on everyone.

I should have consulted your review before writing this chapter, that's for sure. Dee might be able to put the hurt on anyone who disagreed but I think she's a little bit sensitive about the changes and stuff they're all going through and so maybe she wouldn't react the way Jenny would want.

So to bottom-line it: Jenny took the coward's way out.

Dee definitely had some problems with Julian. And that may come into play when they all learn about his existence. But I join you in the shuddering: she must be converted into one of the believers!

I'm sure there are people out there who wouldn't mind Jenny/Julian "encounters" for the whole story, bypassing any semblance of a plot whatsoever but I need her to get to the slumber party. So she's going to go through withdrawal, and take all of us along for the ride, too.

Yes, between the two of us we can definitely make a play for Julian and try to untangle him from Jenny's web…if we get our sleep patterns set so one of us is on days, one on nights he would never ever be lonely again! What a deal! He would jump at the chance to be with us I'm sure!

Glad you liked that I left him partially dressed in his tux. Made it that much sexier for me, and I do agree, he can't get any sexier.

Sorry that you were only able to find strawberries. I shared in your sense of disappointment when my own search failed to produce any form of Julian in my refrigerator either.

Are you _sure_ you want me to stop with the images of Julian, hot fudge, strawberries, and whatever else makes your mind go straight to the gutter? Because I will, for you and only for you. I don't think there's anyone else out there who could convince me--reads next paragraph again Oh ok. Thank goodness!

"It's definitely worth becoming a tomato if I can read this!" hee hee hee! Oh boy that left me laughing! I talk about doing my impression of a tomato so I could definitely relate!

Sorry you don't watch Law and Order: Criminal Intent but I'm doing my best to just write it as a stand alone story that you don't have to have seen a single episode to understand it. I introduce the characters by their full names and stuff so you at least get a sense of the background (I hope).

If you have seen the series you would recognize references to a few things from some eppys and of course you would be able to tell me if I'm so far into Out Of Character-ness that it's a disgrace to ppl everywhere who worship the show but that's about it. Not too much at all.

Happy to read that you're not a member of the undead. Sorry to read that you think you're scarier looking at 3:00 a.m. than Count D would ever be…somehow I doubt it's true.

I really, really, REALLY adore you, too! You have to know that by now.

I'm so sorry that your little brother fried your computer…bless you for not killing him dead.

Please tell your friend whose computer you used a few things for me:

1) I am so grateful to her that she considers you such a good friend that she would sacrifice sleep to allow you to log on

2) Said act of kindness on her part qualifies as a huge deposit in the old Karma Bank so she's probably due for something big and positive!

3) I appreciate her willingness to read over your shoulder and I thank her most humbly for the compliment

So I am trying to hypnotize myself into forgetting that I ever read your earlier stories but it just won't stick. Maybe it has something to do with my heart not being in it or the thought that you're crazy for thinking they're horrible running through my head. Who knows?

I am definitely going to miss reading your reviews for a while…what am I going to do without your support?

I'm going to do my best to just write as well as I can and hope that the time passes quickly. I hope your summer goes well, that your life isn't too hectic and that YOU continue to write while you're sans computer! I could live without hearing from you ever again if I knew it meant that I could read updates from you! I miss you already!

**ArchAngel**** pixxistixx4me**—Heavens to mergatroid? I say that all the time! How funny is that? Well I find it funny, at least. Sorry this update didn't come in time to help you avoid your math project but maybe it can distract you from studying for finals? Sorry for turning you into a little blob of goo, btw!

**Sunshine**—Yeah I needed to have a sundae after writing the last chapter, it was too much. Thanks for taking the time to let me know you're out there! Glad you've enjoyed the story so far!

**Angel**—Aww thanks! I appreciate that you took the time to write, and I'll try to get in some longer chapters just for you!

**Shadow**—Thanks so much for taking the time to hit that old Go button. I hope you get some more face time with your computer soon…I know I tend to go into hives if I'm offline for too long. Glad you liked the last chapter, hope you enjoy this one, too!

**melissarxy1**—Thanks for your comments about the way I write our beloved Jenny's folks. I try to keep them in the story as realistically as possible. Glad you enjoyed the strawberries. Thanks for reviewing!

**Kyia****-Kenobi**—Well I'm glad you were looking out for an update from me. I hope this one makes you equally eager for more! Thanks for checking in!

**ArchAngel**** pixxistixx4me**—So you are turning Canadian, eh? Well I suppose it could be worse. Thanks for the virtual cookies, btw! They are much appreciated. I'm sorry if the last chapter seemed to end too soon, I'll try to do better. The teaser for Easter sounds great…I can't wait!

**Clare**—hey there! Thanks so much for reviewing! Yours are always so nice to read and make me grin. Thank you thank you thank you!


	41. Chapter Forty One

"So how did your friends take the news?" her dad asked as they ate dinner that night.

She glanced up at him and smiled.

"Better than expected," she replied.

"Does that statement encompass everyone?" her mom questioned, a slight smile playing about her lips. Jenny knew just who her mom was referring to.

"Admittedly Tom and Dee were less than thrilled and to tell you the truth I think Tom still isn't totally on board with the whole idea but what can you do?" she shrugged as she answered.

"What are your plans for this weekend?" her dad asked.

"Well I'm supposed to go to a sleepover at Aba's tomorrow night and then start studying in earnest for my finals the rest of the weekend. Why?"

"I thought maybe the family could do something together this weekend, that's all."

After sharing a knowing look with her brother Jenny turned back to her dad.

"Sure, sounds good to me. I'll need a break from studying anyway. Just let me know what you want to do and when."

After school Friday Jenny found herself with some time on her hands before she had to go to the slumber party but unfortunately she wasn't tired so a visit to Julian was out of the question. She decided to track down her little brother and see if he wanted to do something with her to kill time. Luckily for her he felt like playing war and so they got out two decks of cards and spent the afternoon and early evening wrapped up in their game. They even forced their parents to hold dinner for them until they were through. Finally Jenny's brother won and did his victory dance all the way to the kitchen table. Jenny just shrugged and rolled her eyes at her parents, who were watching the display with amusement.

"I thought maybe we could go downtown tomorrow eat lunch and see a movie in the afternoon," her dad announced, "How does that sound to everyone?"

"Sounds good to me," Jenny said, "I'll make sure I'm home from Aba's before lunchtime tomorrow."

"I'll try to get all of my errands done in the morning so I'll be free to go, too," her mom stated.

Three pairs of eyes turned to focus on her little brother.

"As long as my shows are over I'm okay, too," he decided.

They all laughed over that declaration and settled in to eat.

Jenny made her way upstairs after dinner, having beaten her brother in their race up the stairs. She dug through her closet and got a backpack and her sleeping bag out and proceeded to collect all the things she needed. She was looking for a spare tube of toothpaste when her mom called up the stairs to her.

"Honey?"

She left her room and went to stand at the top of the stairs.

"Yeah Mom?"

"I forgot to tell you that this was waiting for you in the mailbox when I picked up the mail this afternoon."

Jenny peered down and saw that her mom was holding an envelope in her hands. It didn't appear to have a stamp on it. Strange, she thought to herself.

"Ok. I'll get it when I come down. Thanks, Mom."

Her mom nodded and placed the envelope on the table in the foyer. Jenny turned to leave but then remembered what she had been doing before her mom called to her. 

"By the way, where's the extra tube of toothpaste?"

Her mom had to think for a moment.

"I believe it's in the hall closet next to the band-aids."

"I'll check there. Thanks."

As she closed up her backpack she took a last glance around to make sure she had everything then she picked up her sleeping bag and made her way downstairs to wait for Audrey to come and get her.

The face of the envelope was blank except for her name written on it in a bold, flowing script.

Jenny, it began. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. I am so happy when I think of us together. With you in my arms I am in heaven. Yours always. And then it was signed with a heart. Or at least it sort of looked like a heart. It was a bit lopsided. This person was definitely no artist.

"Well that's too bizarre," Jenny announced to the empty hallway. Suddenly the sound of a car horn interrupted her thoughts and she placed the letter back on the table, resolving to deal with it in the morning.

After the girls had filled up on pizza, chips and soda they settled onto their sleeping bags. Dee shared a look with Audrey and turned to Jenny.

"Ok Sunshine. Spill it."

Startled, Jenny looked over at her two friends.

"What?" she asked.

Audrey rolled her eyes and heaved a very audible sigh.

"The details about you and Tom, of course. How much patience do you think we possess?"

"Are you sure that's what you want to talk about?" she persisted, hoping they would drop it but knowing they wouldn't.

Summer, Audrey and Dee looked at each other and one by one, the girls nodded to Jenny. She took a deep breath and began telling the tale. They listened intently, interrupting only a few times until Jenny got to the part where Tom explained how he had felt seeing Jenny kiss Julian. 

"Oh my god! I can't believe Tom said that!" Summer exclaimed.

"Yeah, well." Jenny was at a loss as to what the appropriate response was, if one indeed existed.

"Shush. Let her finish. Go on, Jenny." Dee encouraged.

"Well I was blown away, obviously. I mean, what could I say to that? But before I could come up with some response he kept talking. He said 'You asked me 'What happened to us?' And that's it, isn't it? At least partly. It's just not there, is it?'"

"What did he mean?" Audrey asked, as caught up in the story as everyone else.

"Well that's what I said. But he kept on talking like he didn't even hear me. He told me that the funny thing was he never knew it was missing until it was gone. He finally looked at me but kept talking, not letting me get a word in edgewise. He asked me if I thought it was weird to miss something you never had. That until that moment he swore he never even considered it."

"What in the world was he babbling about?" Dee interrupted.

 "I wasn't sure. So I asked him. And he told me it was 'Passion. Chemistry. Whatever you want to call it. Between us.'" 

"Wow." All three girls fell away from Jenny back onto their various seats. They were almost as stunned as Jenny had been to hear it.

"I never would have thought Tom was capable of it. That took some guts to say." Dee couldn't help the admiration that laced her words. Jenny nodded her head, silently agreeing with Dee.

"So then what?" This was from Summer.

"Well he stated that he never thought that our relationship was lacking in any way. And it's not that he never thought about our relationship in a physical sense, because he had." 

Jenny was about to continue when Audrey interrupted her.

"Oh that is such a guy thing to say!"

The other girls giggled but didn't dispute her claim.

"So anyway he said he'd always thought there'd be time for us to focus on that stuff later. That everyone had been saying that we'd be together forever for as long as he could remember. And in the end he believed them and assumed he had all of his life to work it out. I told him that he'd assumed I'd always be there, too."

"Go you! Way to tell it like it is!" Dee exclaimed, throwing her fist in the air and giving Jenny a friendly smack on the leg.

"What did Tom say to that?" Summer inquired.

"He agreed that he probably did. Then he let me know that he had been told about other girls who would tell me I was lucky to have him and he always thought I agreed with them. He never thought I'd ever like someone else."

"No one did," Audrey interjected, looking a bit sheepish as all eyes were suddenly upon her, "Sorry. Keep going."

"He said he knows how guys look at me, and before now he thought I didn't realize it more often than not."

They all shared a smile at that.

"That is such a guy thing to say, too." Dee stated.

"So did you agree with him to placate his ego?" Audrey asked.

"Of course. I told him he was right about both things. Even if I **would** see some guy checking me out I didn't really give it a second thought unless he was a jerk and then I just brushed him off like Audrey would."

"Well you did learn from the best," Audrey declared.

"So how did he take that?"

"He said he always thought we were the perfect couple and that he never gave a thought to any possible flaws until…"she faltered as she remembered the look in his eyes as he had delivered the blow.

"What did he say, Jenny?" Dee's voice brought her out of her momentary trance.

"Until the moment he saw Julian and I kiss. That the way I looked at Julian is something he will never forget because I **_never_ looked at him that way."**

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Disclaimer: One day I'll say I own them, just to mess with people. But today is not that day.

Author's Notes: Wow…three chapters this week. Happy Birthday pixxi!


	42. Chapter Forty Two

The retelling was proving to be as emotionally draining as the actual experience. Jenny couldn't stop a few tears from escaping. The girls all gathered around her and drew her into a comforting group hug, holding on until she indicated that she had regained some semblance of control.

Jenny opened her mouth to speak but was forcefully interrupted.

"If you don't want to keep going you don't have to." Dee asserted, and a quick glance around confirmed that the other girls agreed with her whole-heartedly.

"Thanks guys. But I think it will help to get it all out."

"In that case go on!" Audrey joked, and they all laughed at her impatience.

"So I tried to talk but he stopped me. He said that I never looked at him that way before. And he wanted me to, more than anything else. When we were in the car that night after the Lurker jumped on Audrey's car he wanted to kiss me and see that same look but this time for _him. But then this song came on and he knew I was thinking of Julian."_

"What song?" Summer asked.

"Well I don't really know what it was called. It caught my attention because the words had to do with darkness and light. It was weird because it was just like something Julian had said to me before. That's why I noticed it."

"So Tom was right and you were thinking of Julian." Dee announced.

Jenny didn't bother to deny it. She simply nodded in reply. She decided to skip the part where Tom revealed that he thought that incident in the car was the downfall of their relationship.

"After that Tom said he'd been thinking a lot about us and what we should do. He thought maybe we could patch things up and go right back to the way things were before. But then he realized that could never happen the way he wanted."

Dee smiled to herself at that announcement. She was glad to hear that her talk with Tom had caused him to think after all.

"And then he said he thought maybe things wouldn't be exactly the same but that maybe I could learn to respond to him the way I did to Julian."

The girls' eyes widened noticeably at that statement. Dee was the first to break the silence with a sharp bark of laughter. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Whatever! Was he serious?"

"Dee!" Audrey admonished.

"Well I'm sorry but let's get real for a moment. Was I the only one whose eyes were open when Julian and Jenny kissed at the end of the first Game? I mean I know Jenny's weren't, but what about you Audrey?"

Audrey looked so offended at the question that Jenny had to laugh. Trust Dee to not pull any punches. 

"Dee, do you think you're helping with talk like that?" Audrey scolded her like she was a child.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about." This statement came from Summer, who whispered her declaration as if afraid of Jenny's reaction or more likely, of Audrey's.

The other three girls turned to look at Summer.

"That's right," Audrey mused as she gazed at Summer thoughtfully, "You weren't there to see it."

"So what did I miss?" Summer asked, her voice a little louder now that she had apparently been convinced she was not about to be reprimanded.

"Well you only missed our dear Jenny here locking lips with Julian in a very steamy kiss. But it was the fact that she so obviously enjoyed it that blew us all away."

"What?" Summer squealed, turning to confront her friend. "Jenny! Is this true?"

Jenny had retreated behind her hands, hiding her face from her friends. They probably assumed she was too embarrassed to look at them but truth be told she was hiding her face because she didn't want them to see the huge smile she was sporting, that she was always wearing whenever she thought about kissing Julian.

Summer took Jenny's silence as an affirmation. Looking at the top of her head she announced,

"Well I shouldn't really be surprised. I mean, I _was there to see the two of you in the Tunnel of Love or whatever it was."_

That wiped the smile right off Jenny's face. This time all eyes fell on Summer.

"What?" Summer asked, uncomfortable with being the center of attention, "Was I the only one with my eyes open during that whole scene?" her voice mocked Dee's earlier words.

"Summer!" Jenny exclaimed, astonished. Dee and Audrey just stared at Summer, their mouths slightly agape.

"I saw the way you looked at him. Besides that I **heard you, Jenny. We all did. You said you *cared* about Julian."**

Jenny couldn't form a coherent thought. What was she supposed to say? They were quickly deviating from the agreed-upon topic. She was ready (sort of) to talk about Tom. She was not ready to talk about Julian.

Dee recovered first and found her voice.

"That can wait. We're getting off track. Let's finish talking about Tom first before we move on, okay?"

"Er, right," Audrey agreed, "Where were we?"

Jenny searched her mind for the thread of their earlier conversation and winced when she realized where they had left off. This maybe wasn't the lesser of two evils as she had imagined.

"Fine. But we have to go back and talk more about Julian. Anyway, we were talking about how Tom said he thought Jenny could learn to respond to him like she did to Julian." Summer reluctantly announced.

Boy this was going to be hard. It had been so painful to hear in the first place that Jenny couldn't imagine that voicing it herself would manage to take away any of the sting.

"Umm, right. So he told me that in the car that night he knew I was thinking of Julian. He thought maybe that was a one-time thing. And maybe our relationship **could** eventually evolve into something else, something better, if not for one thing."

"I'm not sure I want to hear this," Audrey whispered. Jenny paused and looked around for a sign from the group. Should she continue or not? One by one they nodded, urging her to go on.

"Tom thought we could repair our relationship if," she hesitated for a moment, "if he honestly believed I never thought of Julian after The Games."

"Ouch." Dee said, shaking her head. The others murmured their agreement. Jenny decided to leave out the part about her behavior before Sarah's party. Some things were better left unsaid.

"Did Tom say anything else?" Summer asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. He informed me that he knew for sure that we were going to break up. He said it shocked him to realize that it meant he was going to have to find someone else. But more traumatizing than that was becoming conscious of a desire to actually _do_ it, find someone else I mean."

"Oh my," Audrey exclaimed, grabbing Jenny's hand and squeezing it in a gesture of support.

"He wanted me to know that he only realized it because this whole experience made him aware of something he didn't even know he was missing. He has accepted that he can't force me to respond to him the way I do to Julian. But he realized that he wants it for himself. He admitted he was and still is jealous of me and Julian and he acknowledged that he wants that."

No one said anything for a long moment, though each of them was thinking similar thoughts. Summer was the first one to break the silence and she did so to voice a question that rendered all of them speechless again.

"What do you mean the way you **do respond to Julian?"**

With a tremendous effort Jenny found her voice. Unfortunately it wasn't the strong assertive tone she had hoped for. It came out more as a strangled whisper.

"What are you talking about, Summer?"

"You just said 'the way I **do to Julian' Jenny, not the way you ****did. Why did you say it like that?"**

"No I didn't." Jenny actually had no conscious recognition of having made a slip like that.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Disclaimer: Note to Self: You do not own LJS' characters.

Author's Note: I'll do the thank you's in the next chapter. There's a huge storm here and I've already had one of my programs crash so I'm just posting and leaving my computer alone for a while.


	43. Chapter Forty Three

After sharing a look with the other girls Summer turned back to Jenny.

"Um, yeah you did."

"I did? Huh."

A pregnant pause fell over the group as everyone, including Jenny, waited to hear a satisfactory response.

"That's uh…" what was it? Not funny. No, funny was definitely not the word to use, even if her friends might expect her to employ it.

"That's sort of a funny thing for you to say, Jenny," Audrey finished her sentence although her tone suggested that she considered the slip anything but amusing.

"Yeah, except it's not really funny, is it?" Dee announced as she got up and paced around the room, keeping Jenny within her sights as she deliberately made her path cross in front of her. "Why would you make a slip like that? After all, it's not like Julian is _here_, is he?"

The look of guilt crossed Jenny's face so briefly she hoped no one noticed but of course Dee's next question indicated that she at least had seen it. Dee abruptly stopped pacing and moved until she was in front of Jenny, looking down at her.

"Jenny? Julian isn't here, right?"

Out of the corner of her eye Jenny noticed Summer glance around the room as if expecting Julian to suddenly materialize, a move that filled Jenny with inappropriate humor which she quickly quelled before answering Dee.

"No, he isn't here," she agreed, hoping they would accept her at her word and move on.

"But?" Dee asked her gaze intent on Jenny's face.

"But what?" Jenny stalled while trying to decide how much to say.

"Jenny?" This time it was Audrey who demanded answers.

"What?" she continued to delay her response. Audrey sighed.

"Dee, sit down and quit making all of us nervous," Audrey commanded and waited until Dee had complied before pressing the issue. "Now then, what aren't you telling us?"

Jenny shook her head, having come to the conclusion that all sorts of bad would come from this revelation.

"This isn't something I want to talk about," Jenny declared.

"Jenny!" The shocked outburst came from Summer who blushed when her friends' gazes fell on her. "Well I mean _really_. You slip like that and expect us to just let it go?"

"She's right, Jenny. You're hiding something and I for one want to know what it is," Audrey announced.

Jenny cast her glance between her friends and sighed when she saw the same determination reflected back at her. _Damn her subconscious! Why had she slipped like that? Deep down she had wanted to confide in her friends but now that the moment was upon her she was filled with dread more than anything else. They weren't likely to drop the inquisition any time soon, though, and it was probably best to announce it and start the real fight so they could hopefully get to the forgiveness portion of the night quicker. She straightened her shoulders and kept her expression neutral and her gaze strong as she dropped the bomb._

"But…he isn't dead. Not exactly, anyway."

For a moment there was nothing to permeate the silence. But Jenny had an uneasy feeling that it was the calm before the storm.

"What do you mean, 'not exactly' dead?" Dee asked in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

"I mean that I dream about him," Jenny replied in an equally somber tone without meeting anyone's gaze.

"Oh, well if *that's* all…" Summer trailed off and fell back against the couch, obviously thrilled to discover that Julian wasn't likely to appear anytime in the future.

Audrey and Dee remained silent for a moment, sharing a look that Jenny missed. Dee nodded slightly at Audrey who turned to face Jenny.

"But that's_ not all, is it, Jenny?"_

She shook her head back and forth slowly, as if that would make the rest of her revelation easier to bear. She was surprised to feel her hand being squeezed and looked up in surprise. Audrey just gave her a small smile before becoming serious.

"Whatever it is we can handle it, Jenny."

Jenny nodded before speaking.

"I don't just dream *of* Julian, I dream *with* Julian. He's there in the flesh, so to speak." 

"But I don't get it…" Summer interrupted.

"Well when you were…asleep, Summer, I used to dream of Julian during The Games. He would give me clues and when I woke up I would go off of what he had told me the night before."

"Ok, but then why is this such a big deal?" she questioned. Dee rolled her eyes but otherwise remained silent. Jenny reined in her impulse to sigh and continued to explain.

"Because I didn't just dream, I interacted with him for real in the dream world, for lack of a better term." Summer opened her mouth but Jenny held up her hand to forestall any questions, hoping a concrete example would clear it up. "If he gave me something there I would wake up with it on my pillow."

A beat of silence filled the room.

"What did he give you?" Summer asked, looking between Dee and Audrey who appeared to be interested in the answer as well. _So much for stopping the questions.___

"Well, uh, he gave me a rose," Jenny responded and condemned herself for the blush that accompanied her answer.

"Oh I see," Summer replied. _It's about time._

Dee shook her head and continued to question Jenny.

"So can he appear outside of your dreams?"

An unexpected wave of emotion welled up in her and Jenny shook her head, unable to verbalize her answer.

"Where is he?" Audrey whispered.

Jenny cleared her throat and coughed once for good measure before answering.

"He's trapped in the place between dreams and reality."

"Why is he trapped?" Summer asked softly as well.

"It's the ring," Jenny replied.

She glanced down at her hand at the circlet of gold that constantly adorned her finger and was filled with a sense of déjà vu.

"What about it?" Dee questioned.

"Julian thinks his being trapped must have something to do with the binding ceremony."

Their eyes opened wide.

"Come again?" Audrey inquired. Jenny shifted in her seat and got comfortable before speaking.

 "The way I heard it here's what happened. When the Elders slashed the Runestave he escaped the Shadow Realm before they finished carving his name out. I put the ring back on before they got done and he became bound to me again but thanks to his Elders he fulfills his part of the binding in the only place where he can."

Silence reigned as her friends absorbed the knowledge and its implications.

"How long have you known about this?" Dee asked.

Jenny knew what she was really asking: _How long have you been keeping this from us?_ Jenny shook her head and decided to stretch the truth a little in the name of friendship.

"I've been dreaming about him for a while but I didn't know any of it was real until recently."

"How did you find out it was real?" Audrey asked in a slightly accusatory tone. _What did they think? That she had been attacked in her dreams and woke up mutilated?_

"Um, well, it felt more real than a dream should be I guess and so I…"

"What felt more real?" Summer interrupted to ask.

Oh no! No _way was she going there! Jenny hung her head and covered her face with her hands, desperate to hide the crimson stain of her cheeks._

"_Jenny!_" Although it was Audrey's indignant tone that reached Jenny's ears she was sure she would see an identical look of disbelief imprinted across her friends' features, should she ever choose to raise her head and meet their gazes.

"You were _kissing him?" Summer asked in a near squeal._

"Is that _all you were doing?" Dee questioned in a dry tone which caused Jenny's head to shoot up and all gazes to be fixed on her face. She merely smiled a Cheshire grin and lifted a shoulder in dismissal. "Can't blame a girl for being curious."_

Audrey waved her hand in a dismissive gesture before looking at Jenny again.

"That's all well and good but we still have a problem."

Jenny looked at Summer and Dee who both looked as clueless as she felt.

"What problem?" Jenny asked.

"Tom."

"Tom?" Jenny repeated blankly as if it were a foreign word. "What about Tom?"

"He doesn't know about this yet, does he?" Audrey asked.

"No, no one does but you three. And I'd like to keep it that way."

"I'm sure you would, cherie, but I'm not so sure it's a good idea," Audrey stated.

"And why not?" Jenny demanded in a forceful tone. _What good could come from telling Tom?_

"Because," Audrey began in an exasperated tone, "I assume that you want Julian to get out of your dreams and into your…well…world. Am I right?"

Although she blushed again Jenny kept her head held high and nodded once.

"That probably means that he's off right now trying to make that happen, correct?" Audrey continued.

Jenny nodded again.

"So…" Audrey trailed off, obviously hoping that her friends had caught on and sighing quite audibly when they continued to simply wait for her to keep talking. "So that means if he succeeds he can't just show up here out of the blue and expect any kind of warm welcome from Tom. Well I mean he'd never get a nice reception from Tom, that's a given, but at least if Tom knows it could happen then he'd be better prepared and less likely to try and beat Julian up upon first sight."

Dee snorted.

"Like Tom could beat Julian up."

"I never thought about it," Jenny murmured. Well not about Julian being able to beat Tom up, but rather about everyone's reactions, particularly Tom's, if (no…_when, her brain amended) Julian succeeded in coming back to her._

"That's understandable. I mean your thoughts have probably been consumed with what you'd get to do to Julian if he ever did make it into your….world," Dee announced with a grin which left Jenny and Summer mortified and Audrey smirking.

Jenny recovered and sent Dee a grin of her own.

"Oh I have plans, Dee. I have plans." 

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Disclaimer: Aside from a severe case of tardiness I'm afraid I can only claim ownership of the plot, not the characters used within.

Author's Note: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. One "I'm sorry" for every day that has lapsed between posts.

Looking for another FG fic? Try AnitaBlake1414's. It's called "The Forbidden Dance." And if you're like me and are a BtVS fan then head over to Amanda Lord's fics.  Her angsty piece "They Sleep" is worth the read.

Thank you's are in order from the earliest date received.

pixxi—So you may work some Jacuzzi images into the Fourth of July? I can't wait! I hope finals are going well? Or went well, as the case may be?

~Cassi—Thanks for checking back in, and I'm sorry about the delay!

-pixxi—What would I do if you never reviewed and threatened my life? I am really sorry about the long delay…as I mentioned in a previous AN I have been consumed by this Law and Order: Criminal Intent fic and just haven't been feeling this one for so long. I hope my muse lets go of the death grip he has on the LO:CI one or at least gets me to finish it so I can get back here more often. Thanks for enjoying my story enough to ask your friends to read it too. I appreciate that and am very touched by the gesture.

Amber Evans Potter, Jenny and Julian—Boy I hope you're all not hovering somewhere nearby with any pointy sticks or weapons of any kind. How can I apologize for the delay? I am so sorry and hope that you all stayed out of trouble while I was away?

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—I'm sorry you ran out of chapter. I will try to do better, I really and truly will.

Clare—I'm with you in wishing Julian was real *sigh*. I'm sorry I haven't updated in almost forever. I will endeavor to be more faithful with the updates. 

Shadow—No, you can't be the only person who dreams of that. I hope exams went well?

Sunshine—aww, thanks! I appreciated your review! Thank you!

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—I can't tell you if you spoiled the whole plot for yourself. You'll just have to keep reading and find out.

Kyia-Kenobi—Ha ha! A piece of fruit in each chapter? That *would* be a challenge! 

Pixxi—WAKE UP! You *can't* be dead! Stay away from the light! *reads review again* oh, you're just in shock? Well I'm sure seeing that I FINALLY updated may have sent you back into shock so sorry about that. 

Amber—Thank you for your kind words…they mean a lot, as always!   

Stephanie—Hi there! I know I'm cruel and I promise you that this time it's not intentional. I have just been totally sucked into this Law & Order: Criminal Intent fic I have been writing and my muse seems determined to keep me filled with thoughts for that fic as opposed to any development on this one. Thanks for e-mailing *and* reviewing here…it means a lot and does work to inspire me, I promise!

Amanda Lord--*MY* fic is the first you've read? I'm so honored!! And your review couldn't have been any nicer! Thank you so much…your compliments were so thoughtful and I am humbled. I will of course make more mention of his eyes…how could I refuse after such a great review? 

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—I love snickerdoodles. For their sake and your I present this update.

ChiBi HenTAi AnGeL—I hope the ppl in black suits (any relation to the MiBs, btw?) weren't too mean to you? Thank you for your kind words.

Neoangel ~It's okay that you don't go for the Zach/Summer thing. Many ppl don't.

Hentai Priestess ~ You like the steamy J/J moments? I promise more to come!

Sorry about choosing Dee to hold the slumber party. Yes, blame Julian.

AnitaBlake1414—Thank you so much! I don't actually have a fanclub, unless they're all clandestine and I just am unaware. 

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me--

(Reason Number the First: You havent updated for a realy long time)….I know and I'm sorry.

(Reason Number the Second: I'm getting impatient.)…..I know and I'm sorry

(Reason Number the Third: I'm sure other people are getting impatient.) …..I know and I'm sorry

(Reason Number the Fourth: I'm done with my history final *but still have four to go* so now I can slack off some.)….knowing that I was keeping you from studying was too much guilt for me to handle and actually induced writer's block….ok, I did feel guilty but I had writer's block before I read your review.

(Reason Number the Fifth: I recently read *all* the Julian-yummy bits of this fic, and there arent nearly enough of them!) …..I know and I'm sorry

(Reason Number the Sixth: Because I said so.)….not sure what to say to that one.

(Reason Number the Seventh: I'll staple-gun you to a giant poster of Tinky Winky if you dont.)….you crack me up sometimes.

Kyia-Kenobi—Sorry I left you waiting impatiently.

Skyfire—Sorry I left you hanging!!!!!

Rilo—Yes, I am going to finish. I already have the ending written, it's just the parts between there and here that are coming a bit slower than I'd like. 

Cat—Thank you Cat! I hope the move went well and that you are now settled and enjoying your new abode?

Amber Evans Potter—I hope you aren't too mad at me? Thanks for reviewing!    

melissarxy1—Sorry that I continued no where near "soon"….at all.

ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—So I hope your b-day party was great!

Clare—sorry about the delay, I apologize!!!!!!

Shadow—Nope. My update again was no where near asap. I humbly beg forgiveness.


	44. Chapter Forty Four

Speaking of plans, Julian was busy making plans of his own. When he wasn't busy testing out the physical boundaries of the dimension he was trapped in or meditating on everything he had ever learned about what it meant to be a Shadow Man he was occupied with the plans for his reunion with Jenny.

Admittedly he spent a great deal of time contemplating the last item on his agenda. He couldn't help it…being with Jenny was literally what he lived for. He had not given Jenny the idea that he was confident that he was going to be able to find a way back to her because the truth was…he didn't know if he _could_ make it back.

After his name had been slashed out of the runestave he had considered staying away from Jenny once he realized that he was in a place where he could interact with her. After all he _had_ been responsible for some of the most painful experiences of her life. But then he reflected on his last moments with her and knew that she had begun to have feelings for him. So he decided to take the chance that he could only see her in their shared dreams and he had pursued her without hesitation.

At first…

The hesitation had only begun to seep into his consciousness once he realized not only how deep his feelings ran for her but also how deep hers were beginning to run for him. He had always imagined that he was in love with Jenny, of course. He had been consumed with thoughts of her from the moment he laid eyes on her, after all. He felt as though if ever there was a personification of "love at first sight" then he was it.

But then he actually met her…

And he discovered that although he had been watching her throughout various points of her life that he didn't know everything there was to know about her. And he was greedy to know everything he could. He was insatiable in his desire to show her just how true his feelings were, and above all what a better match he was for her than Tommy boy.

Unaware of the thoughts, let alone the existence of the Shadow Man, Tom was lying on his bed, hands interlaced behind his head, staring up at the ceiling yet seeing nothing.

He had taken the breakup surprisingly well. It was only when he was left alone to contemplate his thoughts that he became tinged with melancholy and more than a little bit of bitterness.

He replayed the words they had spoken to each other that day, and he still marveled that he had had the courage to utter some of them. Turning the events over in his mind he realized that he was lucky that Dee had chosen to talk with him before the breakup, especially seeing as he had echoed some of the very things she had talked with him about.

Actually he was very lucky that their friends had taken the news of the breakup with as much aplomb as they had, he mused. This time could only have been made more difficult than it already was solely by their friends' unsupportive reactions. As it stood they were all rallying around the couple and intent on maintaining friendships with both of them that were as strong if not stronger than before.

That was really the only good thing about the whole experience with _him_, Tom decided. He clenched his jaw as he usually did at any thought of the boy with the blindingly white hair and startlingly intense cobalt eyes. The tight-knit group was virtually guaranteed lifelong friendships after the experience of The Games. It was often said that people who had been through a traumatic experience remained bonded forever, simply by virtue of having been through that incident together.

And The Games had been nothing if not traumatic. Each and every one of them had been forced to face their nightmares and not just privately, but while their friends looked on. In doing so each of them gained a little bit more insight into their comrades' psyches and what made them tick. It was more revealing than any game of Truth or Dare could ever hope to be and it left them all with understandings they kept close to their hearts, secure in the knowledge that while what had been witnessed need never be discussed again it had left indelible impressions upon all of them.

Tom wondered idly if he should call Dee and talk with her about some of this stuff. She seemed to be the perfect choice for him to vent some of his feelings to. His hand was halfway to the phone when he remembered the big girls' night out that had been planned for that very evening at Aba's. Sighing quite audibly he let his hand fall back to his side and decided to just grab a quick shower and call it an early night, maybe read a little to help him get sleepy.

Meanwhile the girls' laughter had finally managed to subside and they were all in the throes of a contemplative silence. Jenny took a moment to thank whatever deity was on call tonight that it wasn't an oppressive stillness but rather a settled calm that allowed each girl to wander in her own thoughts.

Her wanderings took her to Julian, which wasn't a surprise seeing as he was in her mind more often than not these days but also because he had been the most recent topic of conversation. She wondered idly what he was doing right now. Was he perhaps mulling over the possibility of his re-entry into the world? Or maybe his thoughts had turned to plans for their reunion, a reunion she was looking forward to more and more with each passing second.

In point of fact Julian was not contemplating either of those two items, although they did occupy definite slots on his program. He was brooding over his feelings toward Jenny and the progression of their relationship thus far. He grimaced as he remembered how desperate he had been to show Jenny just how right they could be together, how if she would just give him a chance he could make her happy.

So single-minded had he become that he failed to accurately calculate the effect any of his demonstrations would have on both himself and more importantly, on Jenny. He had not been prepared to deal with her sense of loyalty to Tom, nor had he predicted the lengths she would go to for her friends and vice versa.

But the outcome he failed to prepare for that proved to be his undoing was the one he never even considered as a possibility, and that was Jenny actually falling for him. Sure, he had big plans and dreams. In fact, he had many _many _dreams that revolved around a time when he and Jenny would be together and she would gaze upon him with such desire in her eyes that he feared he would ignite from the promise of the flame within.

He neglected to consider the possibility that it would be anything akin to love. Indeed, he thought she was out of reach for such a lasting emotion. He dared to dream only of the time when he would be able to seduce her into his arms for as long as she would stay. But she never stayed forever, no matter how intense the dream.

Seeing her look upon him with eyes that bespoke of a gentler and infinitely more enticing emotion than simple desire had destroyed him. He was no longer capable of living as the selfish creature he had been for millennia upon millennia. Suddenly he actually cared about her feelings. He still wanted to make her burn for him, of course, but now he wanted to be there to make her smile afterwards, to caress her cheek with his hand, brush away a few stray wisps of hair with his finger, and hold her in his arms throughout the night.

He would never tell her this but he thought he would die happy if he never even made love to her, provided that he could simply bask in the glow of her smile, see love light up her gaze and have her safe in his embrace.

.

In a way having his name carved out of the runestave had been a gift of Fate. He reflected that if his elders had not taken it upon themselves to try and destroy him then he never would have found his way to Jenny in the only place where they were free from the constraints of their respective worlds. The dimension between dream and reality allowed the young couple the chance to get to know each other without any pressures of outside interference.

And the malleable nature of Time in that dimension meant they could progress at a pace that matched whatever mood they were feeling. It was as if Time was directly connected to their emotions. If they were experiencing a deep, meaningful conversation then time seemed to fly by and they were impressed with their ability to maintain each other's interest for so long. But if they were involved in a deep, soul-searching kiss then Time obliged them by appearing to stand still, allowing the young lovers to extract as much pleasure from their simple touches as possible. He grinned at the wayward and romantic nature of his thoughts but clung to one truth…

Their time together had been the greatest blessing of his long life.

But now that she wasn't there with him he took a moment to dwell on the impossibility of their relationship as it was. She had told him that she would never fall in love with someone who wasn't him; but could he ask her to give up a life lived with someone who could fulfill her in ways he couldn't or wouldn't? If she stayed connected to him she would never get married in front of her friends and family, never buy a house or have kids…

That thought brought up an interesting distraction. If he and Jenny were to consummate their relationship in their dreams would she be able to conceive a child from their union? If she were to become pregnant and give birth to their child would he remain trapped, unable to be a father to his own child?

He shook his head at the direction his thoughts were taking. Talk about putting the cart before the horse! And yet, thinking of him and Jenny in, shall we say, compromising positions was another pastime he found himself indulging in all too frequently.

And now was no exception. His thoughts drifted to his plans for Jenny when she came back after her finals. He had promised her a night to remember that involved a Jacuzzi, and he wasn't about to let her down. He called forth a mirror and a variety of swimsuit options for himself and spent more time than he would later admit to looking in the mirror and trying on clothes. Then he conjured up a form of Jenny—the same one he had earlier been involved with when the real Jenny had called out to him—and spent only a few moments choosing her apparel. As she pirouetted in front of him he smiled approvingly…this would be a night to remember.

Disclaimer: thumbing through dictionary and mumbling over how its meaning has been forgotten…Ah yes, here it is: I do not own the characters, only the plot they find themselves immersed in.

Author's Note: No need to tell me I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible person for failing to update for like three months. Ach du lieber Gott! My bad, for sure. I apologize from the very deepest depths of my self. I can't promise that it won't happen again, either. I have a tough semester and I must sadly place school ahead of this fic so I don't know when the next update will be. I really want to work on this more so maybe once I'm really into a rhythm I can set aside more time….I hope.

Looking for a recommendation? Try Nariel's FG story "I Want Her"

**melissarxy1—**I'm so sorry that you almost forgot about my story. My extremely long delay in updating must have made you completely forget all about it this time for sure. My apologies. Yes, I like to think of Audrey, Summer and Dee as being capable of the gentler, more open personality traits. Thanks for checking in!

**clare—**Yes, the "telling Tom" may be the worst part. And that is why I didn't want her friends to react too much in a bad way. Then it just gets all angsty and I'm not about that, most of the time anyway. Thanks for reviewing and I'm sorry it took me so long.

**AnitaBlake1414—**What is it with people wanting Tom to have bodily harm inflicted on him? Lol I'm glad you liked the last update and I hope you like this one! Sorry I didn't get this out sooner!

**Amber Evans Potter, Jenny and Amber—**Jenny:Why on earth would you want to throw sharp pointy things at me? You know, I think that sharp pain from where it pierced my skin may just be the reason I didn't get any inspiration for a nice lusty scene between you and everyone's favorite Shadow Man. Plus, if I think you don't like my fic I get all sad and trembly. Julian: evil, evil man. I must really insist that you stop being such a tease. If you don't start following through on some of those promises for Jenny and Amber I may just have to resort to my own evil measures. And you wouldn't be happy. Amber: My dear Amber, I apologize for the delay in updating. Disappointing you is something I try hard not to do.

**ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—**I can't help but feel like me updating is keeping you from doing something more studious with your time. I'm sorry that it took me so long. I really am. More later. By the way, your muse never showed up. And I take it that Fourth of July is still in your head and not on your hard drive? Give the Giant Purple Weasel my best.

**Kyia-Kenobi—**Well I am sorry both for the long time between updates and for you being forced to wait a little more for Tom to find out. Thanks for reviewing.

**Shadow—**You are so sweet, making me feel better about the long delay in the last update before this one. Sorry that Julian was all contemplative and not all drool-worthy in this chapter. Sometimes it just works out that way. Glad to hear your exams went well. Hopefully this semester is going okay.

**AnimeHuntress—**Sorry to keep you in limbo for so long. And I'm sorry that you are still waiting to hear what Jenny wants to do with Julian. Thanks for reviewing.

**Amanda Lord**—You are so sweet...I am happy to give you a little shout out. I'm glad you really like my story, I really like your reviews. Thanks for checking in!

**Amanda Lord—**Well even if you made a little oopsy I still adore you. Yes, I can completely relate to your desire to check out any and everything that is related to Julian. And I am on board with you about the whole reviewing a chapter more than once…what is up with that?

**uh oh—**Well I'm sorry I made you blush or whatever emotion it was that caused you to have to cover your face. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review, I appreciate it!

**Amazed Reader Sulking in the Den—**Hey there! Well I'm not sure if I can deliver for you but I will do my best, I promise! Thanks so much for your kind words, they are appreciated.

**The Jack Loving Misfit—**I did start typing pretty soon after your review. I'm sorry it's been so long. Thank you for reviewing again!

**RazberyButterfly—**My computer has been freezing a lot lately too when I try to review, so I was glad to find someone else who has suffered. You are so generous with your praise and I felt all warm and fuzzy when I read the things you had to say. I'm honored that you would devote such a large chunk of time as to read all 43 parts straight through. That is dedication if ever there was any! Thank you! THANK YOU! And by the way, I went to your bio page and saw **my name** up there, which made me blush and then do a happy little dance that you'd even consider recommending me to anyone. And yet I also saw that none of _your_ stories are up yet! I _will_ be reading them once you post!

**Dusty—**Please don't cry or set loose the monkies on me! I'm not sure which thought terrifies me more, actually, so let's just try to avoid both, shall we? Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

**Nariel—**Well I personally can't be more happy that you had decided to review, so thank you!

**Dusty—**No no no! There is no hate! No hate! Only love, I assure you!

**All Seeing Goddess—**Ah, the death threat. It's been a while since I've been on the receiving end of one of those. lol Brings back memories I can't say are all that pleasant. So what do you say we try to avoid any more of those? Thanks for the swift kick, it helped!

**daydreamer5290—**Aww thanks. I appreciate your enthusiastic review. It helped me get this chapter out.

**Silverdracowolf—**I can't say yes because that's committing myself to a path I'm not sure the story it on. It could suddenly become angsty and end badly. Thanks so much for reviewing!

**Venus Smurf—Oh how I adore you! I adore you so much, my friend, that I am going to put your whole thank you in BOLD print. It couldn't have been harder to leave than it was to have you gone, I assure you. I found myself craving feedback from you and was immeasurably depressed when I remembered I would have none. It was the Summer of My Discontent, I assure you. **

**I may just have you join Julian in that Jacuzzi, keep him company for a while as the rest of the cast meanders, I'm so happy you're back. **

**And how funny are you? You'd go to camp and just "forget" to tell anyone? Crack me up! I'm glad you were okay with the way Jenny handled the situation. **

**By the way I don't think you're hopelessly perverted for calling nights with Julian. Anyone with half a brain would jump at the chance. Glad that your Mom would be on your side, though. That's a comfort. **

**It's all right that your friend whose computer you sometimes borrow doesn't want to join the site. Just knowing she enjoys the story makes me feel all waff-y. **

**I hope things are well for you and that you're getting all the support and encouragement you need to keep churning out the wonderfulness that is your writing. More soon!**

**F Åñgé£--**Very cool name, first of all. I was impressed with your efforts. I'm glad you like my story and that you took the time to review. It means a lot!

**ArchAngel pixxistixx4me—**I'm going to be thrown off a cliff? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen a recent update from you, my friend. Hello Kettle? Pot calling I myself went to Cali this summer so that's cool that we were in the same state for a while. So how does one control the evil vampiric llamas? Just wondering.

1) School has started and i need escape from tedious biology lab writeups.

You have to know that I don't like the thought that I am keeping you from your school work

2) My friend has my copy of The Hunter, and i need to read the series in order, or else i get all thrown out of whack, so i can't read anything until she finishes it.

And how does my story help this problem?

3) There have been hardly any good FG fics posted/updated in the past bazillion years!

And that's just shy of a gazillion, right?

4) Your writing is brilliant and you should give this fic to LJS so she can write a fourth book to FG.

See _now_ you're getting somewhere

5) I have read almost every single descent FG fic on the net

Not sure how me updating can help with this

6) I have run out of good Labyrinth fanfiction to read. i have raided Marysia.com, and yet i still find nothing to read...

And yet my story isn't about Labyrinth so I will not be solving this problem with my update

7) I'm bored and feel like complaining at you that you havent updated in a really loong time.

I can understand that

8) i want to find out how gasp Tom takes all of this. (Wow... am i actually caring about tom?!?!? gasps and dies

DEAR LORD, what have I done to you? You care about TOM?

9) Lotus, even though she hasnt relaized it yet, wants to read more

Maybe she doesn't

10) I want to read more

I like that reason

11) Because i said so!

Hmm

**Venus Smurf—Man oh man was I in bliss to see a review from you! I'm pretty sure I'll be floating on air all week. Yes, I too would be chewing sleeping pills like Pez if it meant I would be with Julian. Maybe someday I'll write a story about crazy Jenny who becomes addicted to sleeping pills in an effort to stay with her Shadow ****Man.**

**I am personally allergic to spoilers so I'm not going to answer your questions about the plot, unless you _really_ want to know. Then I'll tell you, 'cause it's you and nobody else. But I will say that I am impressed with the way your mind works…you can definitely tell you're a great writer simply by nature of the deductions you make and the plot potential you can see. **

**And yes, sadly the art of the love letter is lost to us, possibly forever. **

**Obsessive hunks, eh? Too funny! **

**I'm trying not to short Tom here but right now his is indeed a raw deal. **

**Aww shucks! It's so nice of you to give me such flowery compliments…my dream is to one day write as though I were actually worthy. I too, have a dream…**


	45. Chapter Forty Five

But before the reunion could take place Jenny had to go through the pain and suffering that normally accompanied final exam week. As she pulled into the driveway of her house she grimaced. Saying goodbye to Audrey she took a moment to sit on the front stoop of the house. She hung her head on her knees for a moment. There was so much studying to do and what felt like no time to do it in. 

And while the thought of seeing Julian at the end of it all was a motivating force to be sure it was also a severe distraction, one she found herself all too willing to lose herself in. But unfortunately she really couldn't afford to let herself be distracted, not if she had any serious hopes of getting into a good college. The SAT and ACT were only a few months away and with them…senior year. Dear lord was it really almost senior year? Where had the time gone?

Speaking of time she had better hustle into the house and not keep her family waiting any longer if they had any hopes of making the movie on time.

"I'm home!" she called out as she swung the door shut behind her. Breathing in deeply she detected the lingering smell of chocolate chip cookies. Bless her mom. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a few cookies off the plate and made her way into the dining room. Dropping herself into a chair she pulled her legs up underneath her and waited for her family to congregate.

"Hi sweetie," her mom called out as she made her way through the room, pausing briefly to kiss the top of Jenny's head as she passed, "We'll all be ready to go here in a minute. Did you have a good time with the girls?"

"Um yeah I did, actually. I ended up having to talk about the break up with them which while not the topic I would have chosen by far was still something I'm glad is over and done with," Jenny replied, getting up from her seat to follow her mom into the kitchen. 

She walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed the container of milk from inside and carried it over to the cabinet where she rummaged around for a moment before pulling out the glass she was looking for. Swallowing the last mouthful she rinsed her glass in the sink and went upstairs to run a brush through her hair. Her brother flew past her and jumped on her bed, miscalculating the distance slightly so he ended up hanging off the edge, about to fall off.

"Well hello to you too," Jenny teased, putting the brush down and going over to pull him back. They wrestled around for a bit until their folks yelled that they were ready to go and would be waiting in the car. Jenny's brother once again flew past her and she re-combed her hair and then jogged down the stairs after him.

As she made her way past the table in the foyer her glance was captured by the letter she had abandoned there yesterday and she stopped to contemplate it for a moment. Who could have sent it? She smiled as she considered the notion that Julian was the sender…wouldn't that be fantastic? She could just see him perched on the edge of a chair, chewing on the end of an ivory feather-tipped pen as he gazed up and searched his mind for the right words to use. Her smile faded as she recognized that that image was just a fantasy…if anything the letter didn't _sound_ like Julian, if it was possible to know what he would indeed sound like in a letter. The way he talked to her indicated that any missive he sent would be chock-full of delicious imagery guaranteed to melt her into a pool of want by the end.

Not that it would take much to transform her into that, she mused. It had only been a short time since their parting and yet to Jenny it was already an eternity, one in which each passing moment found her senses heightening with anticipation to the point where she feared for her concentration, if not her sanity. The car's horn blared and Jenny jumped, shaking her head and hurrying out the door. As they drove to the theater she considered the list of people who could have possibly sent the letter and was chilled by the thought that occurred to her as they pulled into the parking lot of the theater.

What if the letter came from Tom?

Perhaps he was operating under the assumption that their relationship was not dead and buried, merely in need of resuscitation? What if he thought that he simply needed to up the romance and he would be able to woo Jenny back into his arms? She nearly choked at the thought. Oh merciful heavens please don't let that be the case! She found herself praying as she filed into the row next to her brother.

The movie they had chosen was amusing enough to hold Jenny's attention throughout but her thoughts turned to the mysterious letter once her family made it back home. She picked it up on her way past the table and once again felt that prickle of unease wash over her. Most normal people wouldn't be paranoid and certainly wouldn't devote too much time and energy to the discovery of the letter's sender, she decided as she re-read it, but then again not everyone had been through the experiences she had so she felt her concern was justified. 

She put the letter down on top of her schoolbooks and leaned over them, trying to discern the author's identity. Was it Tom? Admittedly it didn't look like his handwriting but then again he had never sent her a letter before. Jenny unconsciously took a step back from her desk, all the while contemplating the letter. If it _was_ Tom how on earth would she find out? She only pondered that for a moment before realizing that she simply needed to wait for him to say something about it. Surely if he had sent it he wouldn't wait too long before asking her for her response, right?

Deciding that no action was indeed the best course of action she nodded to herself and put the letter in her bedside nightstand. Then she moved back to the desk and set her geometry notes and textbook in front of her and settled down for some serious studying. She stayed up all night and only took a few short breaks for meals so that by the time Sunday night rolled around she was pretty tired. It was well after eleven when her mom made her way into her room to check on her.

"How is it going?"

Jenny turned in her chair to face her mom.

"Pretty well. I'm just going to spend an hour or so reviewing the subjects I have tomorrow and then I'll try and catch a few zzz's so at least I'm not a total zombie."

"Okay…I don't want you staying up all night just to find yourself falling asleep during the exams."

Jenny laughed.

"No doubt. That would definitely defeat the purpose."

True to her word Jenny finished studying in time to settle down for a few hours of sleep before her alarm would sound. Being as tired as she was it was no surprise that she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. As she snuggled deeper into the pillow her ears detected a soft laughter. She barely listened until the tone penetrated her consciousness and then her eyes flew open in surprise. It was Julian! She bolted upright and realized that she was dreaming. Looking for the source of the laugh she turned her head and sank back down onto the bed when she saw Julian, stunned at what she was seeing. 

It was the first night she dreamed of him. She knew that because she was watching **herself** and Julian, and it was a weird sensation, akin to seeing yourself on television for the first time. 

Julian was leading her in time to the music. Her dream self closed her eyes and swayed along with Julian, listening to the music and the quiet roar of the tide. Jenny smiled as she remembered what she had been thinking and she couldn't help but giggle as she saw her alter ego lean up to whisper in his ear.

_Alone? You mean like we are now?_

The perspective switched and this time Jenny saw Julian's eyes widen at her question and she couldn't help but shiver as she recognized the passion that darkened them when he leaned in to her, his mouth only a few inches away.

_Ah, on to my idea of how this dream should play out._

Jenny closed her eyes and remembered how it had felt. Suddenly it felt real, and she was in his arms again. She felt that same electric current ignite her blood at the touch of his lips on hers. She sighed and gave herself up to the feelings coursing through her, tightening her arms around him only to discover a moment later that she was awake and holding on to her pillow while her alarm blared incessantly.

"Oh good grief," she sighed as she hit the alarm. 

It was going to be a long week.

Jenny put down her pencil and heaved a giant sigh, raising her arms over her head as she did so. Tilting her chin upwards she proceeded to tilt her head from side to side and then up and down in an attempt to banish the kinks from her neck. A subtle coughing caught her attention and she adjusted her gaze from the ceiling to the source of the noise…her teacher. He was gazing at her pointedly and Jenny blushed, embarrassed that she had been caught. She quickly dropped her arms and gave him a small smile to signal that she understood the message. He in turn grinned slightly before shaking his head and resuming his task of grading papers.

Jenny pushed her blue booklet to the edge of the desk, carefully laid her trusty number two aside and then proceeded to fold her arms on top of the desk to serve as a resting place for her head. She laid her cheek down and smiled, relieved that after a week of intense studying she was finally finally done! Her mind whirled with the implications of what finishing her exams meant.

It meant that she was no longer a junior in high school. It indicated that she had only a week before she was due at camp. It signified that she was that much closer to being a senior in high school along with all that entailed.

But what was most important was the fact that her day now had one and only one possible conclusion…her reunion with Julian.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************************

Disclaimer: Sadly it is my duty to report that with the New Year comes no new ownership of the characters. *sigh*

Author's Note: Good grief have I really not updated since September 23? I am truly horrendous, ghoulish, horrible, odious, mean-spirited, foul-tempered and obnoxious for doing that to you! Thank you's are so far overdue that it is truly lamentable:

***I forgot to include a recommendation for this chapter. If you need to feel the blood pumping through your veins click on over to Saxonny's story "Only In Your Dreams." It's a Jareth/Sarah story (Labyrinth) and is well worth the read!***

**Saxonny**—Well gosh! Thanks so much! I'm so pleased that you are enjoying the story as much as you are and I'm glad that you have so much more to read…I'll look forward to hearing whether you continue to find it worth the time. Thank you so much for your gushing praise. It really really made my day and helped me get this chapter out. Thanks! 

**RazbryButterfly**—I myself am moving here in the next two weeks so I understand what you've just gone through. Thanks for writing such a supportive review. I love the care and consideration you put forth into it. I hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations of what should happen. Yes, I want to get back to Draco and Herm. I have left them alone for far too long. Theirs is a story I can't wait to write. I have most of it plotted out, it's just that whole time issue. Yeah, and I feel I must apologize for the lack of steaminess. It just wasn't here. It will be, though. I promise. I just need to get into that frame of mind. And killing things with a spork is time consuming yet creative so I can't fault you on that front. Thanks!!!! 

**Rachael—**Well I really and truly appreciate the wonderful compliment you have paid me.** I am so humbled that you felt that way. Thank you so much!!! **

**Lady Shadowlight**—I hope your eyes have rested enough to come back and read this chappie? Thank you so much for your tireless efforts to read my fic in two sittings! I am so pleased you did not find yourself bored enough to quit. Thank you for taking the time to let me know you're out there!!!! 

**Lady Shadowlight**—Hello again! I am thrilled to count you among my reviewers and think you're wonderful for reviewing like you did! 

**BlaCkRain-Mistress**—Well your review was pretty darn cool too! I love that you have so many ideas about where the plot is going. I think it's great and it just cracked me up about wishing Tom would have a violent fit. Thank you so much for paying enough attention to the plot that you can conceive of all those places where the story can go. Thank you for being so dedicated and for the support your review gave me. 

**Lady Lake**—You did indeed wait patiently and for that I thank you. But I think at this point your patience has surpassed human standards and is now god-like in proportion and for that I must worship you. I did indeed wake up on several occasions to find unpleasant surprises so hopefully I have learned my lesson and will be inspired to post quicker. Sorry that it's not two chapters but believe me you want the next chapter to be as well-written as I can possibly do it. Thank you for the kick in the head to get me moving.    

**Venus Smurf**—You know it's weird but I like writing from Julian's perspective. Seeing as I'm so not a guy I thought it would be really hard and it is challenging to write him so he doesn't sound like a girl (and I do in fact realize that I fail at that from time to time) but the chance to explore his emotions is too tempting to resist, not unlike Julian himself! Yes Julian has definitely shown that he is not afraid to go after what (or rather, who) he wants.

Yes, I want to get a Julian of my own too. If you see one up on eBay or QVC give me a shout.

I sometimes wonder if Julian had stayed away from Jenny what would have happened and I'd love to read a fic where that is answered in a novel way. I think Jenny would just revert to her former self and that would just be such a shame.

I'm thrilled that you would support a Tom/Dee pairing. I always thought they were better matched.

Yes, I wanted us to pity poor Julian a wee bit. I think a lot of times he's seen as one-dimensional because of that whole one-track mind thing he has for Jenny but as is so often the case if you simply scratch the surface you will discover hidden depths.

_Only someone completely and totally in love would think like that. _ That line made me tear up when I read it and still does. I'm a freak.

_The rest of us would still be ticked off about being killed by our own kind._ That line just had me rolling. You are so so so funny!

I'm so glad that you like the fact that Julian realizes that he and Jenny have a chance for a real relationship. Too often it's straight to the sack for the two of them and my goal is to give the sense that they are destined for each other because of who they are, not because of a superficial physical attraction alone.

_ ****_

You have in fact said that Tom is a putz and Julian does indeed need someone to knock his head a bit. I too wish he was my idiot.

Well at this point Julian is wallowing, not allowing himself to see the possibility for himself and Jenny to exist outside of the dreams. I'll touch more on it in later chapters.

_Why is Julian trying on clothes?_ Simply to give us all the image of him continually taking off his clothes, pure and simple.

I am so thrilled and in awe that you liked this chapter. Your words mean more to me than I think the written word has found a way to express.

And you're in bold print because you **are so special.**

Don't apologize for the Summer of My Discontent. You did what you needed to do. No harm, no foul. Besides you're back and writing just as well as ever and I am just so thankful for you that I would never dare complain!

_So you'd put me in that Jacuzzi if you could? Do you realize that you just offered my greatest fantasy_? I'll do it for you! In fact I just had a brainstorm…plot bunny!!!! Perhaps it could tie in with my Jenny-as-a-drug-addict story.

Your praise of the way I write Jenny's character makes me feel so giddy, triumphant and blessed all at once….it's a feeling that I struggle to put into words.

I'm sure you'll read later that I thanked Sassy_chan and I am glad that you aren't really mad at her. Unless she's sleeping while you read this please tell her I said hello and send my best wishes.

If you're sure that you don't want to know the plot I will not reveal anything (on purpose, anyway). If you change your mind give me a holler. Otherwise enjoy the guessing!

Well if I were to receive a letter like the one Jenny got I would be creeped out, to be sure. But if I knew the guy then perhaps it's a whole other ball of wax. And besides, if it was Julian doing to writing I can only imagine the possibilities…..

Your praise is like an elixir, like the food of the gods. One taste and it leaves the recipient clamoring for more. Thank you for being such a goddess.

**Venus Smurf**—I write my reviews backward, in the order I receive them so I'm sorry if I make a weird reference to the next one when really I wrote that one first. (Does that even make sense? I doubt it.) I too would want to sing of my love from the rooftops yet at the same time she's got to consider the ramifications of her relationship with Julian and realize that other people are going to be affected. I hate that part of their relationship and it's hard to write it yet I like the touch of realism it adds to the plot and the hint of maturity it gives Jenny.

Sorry that I gave the impression that Jenny was dismissing the dreams. I like to think that she's keeping up some boundaries. While I can imagine the girls being close I can't really see anyone but Audrey going into details about kissing boys and stuff. Especially since I got the impression that Tom was not a big fave of Dee and Audrey at the beginning of the series I think Jenny would have picked up on those undercurrents and would keep that part of their relationship to herself for the most part.

I love that you love this plot but don't give me credit for thinking of it…I have my Muse to thank for that.

To tell you the truth I was debating the reaction her friends gave, and I may go deeper into it in an upcoming chapter…the whys and wherefores. For now let's just say they're all still shell-shocked by their experiences.

There **you** go again, making me blush. You may not have thought of that but I'm sure you would have thought of something so freakin' original that it would put all other plots in the pale.

You and I are definitely on the same wavelength about Dee's reactions to this thing. I really felt like she was more afraid of what Julian would reveal to everyone about her than of him as a creature. Plus there was always that whole weird competitive vibe between her and Audrey and so I think her gut reaction would in fact be to see how long Jenny had been keeping it a secret and if in fact Jenny **had** kept it secret or if Audrey had known first.

Audrey, Dee and Summer (and the guys) definitely do not need to know the details of the dreams….we, on the other hand definitely do!!!

And again I must confess to thinking along the same lines as you. Should Tom find out ahead of time or not? I'm seriously vacillating on this front. I'm going to have to trust the plot to reveal a direction to me as I go.

I seem to get a lot of reviews that wish for bodily harm to befall Tom and it would appear that a fight scene between the two of them would in fact be well-received so I suppose I will consider adding it, complete with the "Could-see-it-from-a-thousand-miles-away" ending. 

Yes, don't be too hard on Dee. She's got the cahones to voice what we're all thinking.

How happy am I that I do in fact have a fanclub?? Thanks for offering to form the official fanclub…you've got my vote for President or whatever title you want!!! 

Your support has always meant so much to me and it really does affect my stories. I feel better after reading a review from you and I feel like I can write better so thank you for that. You are so generous it never ceases to humble me. 

**Venus Smurf—**And **I have to apologize from the bottom of my heart for taking so long to post this latest chapter. I couldn't find the time to write. Trust me, it was absolutely KILLING me. I was happy to hear from Sassy, thanks for making sure I wouldn't feel completely neglected.**

Yes, Dee is such a great friend and I am with you on the inhuman part...If I'd been in her place, I'd have been hurt enough that I wouldn't be able to even ask all my questions, and I probably would have  given Jenny too much space, as in the old Silent Treatment. 

_Well, DUH. We're ALL thinking of Julian…24/7, in fact. We can't help ourselves, and we certainly can't expect Jenny to!_ Amen to that!

Sorry to say that I do not know the answer to your query about the song but it was a question I always had too. I'll try to find out.

_How could a guy who takes Jenny for granted possibly compare with a man who could give her everything she hadn't even known she wanted?_ Aww, that's so romantic…I love that description of him!

_Maybe the song was Julian's way of bringing that to their attention?_ What a brilliant insight! Good lord you're amazing! Yes, yes, yes, I think that may be exactly what it was!!

_Is it just me, or is it a little selfish of Tom to want to go back to the way they'd been before Julian?_ No it's not just you. I think Tom may be reacting a bit more….argh, the word escapes me…than Jenny. It's like he's scared of what the future holds and isn't exactly embracing the idea that there's a lot of work ahead and so he wishes for a time when that wasn't an option.

_(okay, she was a LOT insipid…can we say 'doormat'?)_ Heck yeah we can. I always thought from the beginning that Tom was indeed a putz. I was SHOCKED that Jenny didn't pick Julian. By the way LOVE the word "putz." Seriously.

_but there must have been times when he bored her out of her Julian-loving mind…_Like in Book Two, where he pretty much ignores her the entire book. I would have been like "See ya!"

_If it were possible to respond to others the way we respond to Julian, we wouldn't be so fixated on him, would we? Maybe that's why we're so drawn to our favorite Shadow Man?_ Again your insights astound, impress, and amaze the hell out of me. Your ability to delve into characters' psyches so effortlessly is obviously part of what makes you the heir apparent to the Fanfiction Throne.

Yes, our dear Jenny did indeed "open mouth, insert foot." I like to think that it was a Freudian slip.

You are so wonderful and your every review is one that I treasure. Thank you for your part in making this whole writing process such a joy.

**Julian Luver**—Yes, your name was indeed a clue that you were a fan of Julian and I can't say I blame you! I'm so pleased that you found my story and that you like it! I appreciated your comments very much! Thank you for reviewing!!!!!

**sassy_chan**—Aww you are just TOO SWEET! I'm so pleased that you were willing to write for Venus, and even more pleased for her that she has such a great friend as you in her life. I totally understand forgetting about my story….it happens a lot, I assure you. Especially with my sporadic updates. I am overwhelmed to say the least that someone likes my story that much. Thank you for taking the time to reacquaint yourself with my story, for reading it in the first place, and for writing to me. You are wonderful!!!!!! 

**Leesa V.**—So the mean Shadow Men just recently released me, having decided that my existence was too boring for them to bother with any longer. It's funny…the minute I thought that 3 reviews was indeed a sign to update is the exact second that I was ambushed by the afore-mentioned Shadow Men….what are the odds? Thanks for saying please, I always appreciate the polite thing. 

**kiyana-ayame**—Hey clare, cool new screen name! What does it mean? Congrats on being in college, how's it going? I'm glad that you didn't mind us taking a trip inside Julian's head. Sometimes it's nice to do that and see what you bump into. Thank you for your review, I was delighted to get it as always!!! 

**Somara**—Begging always works, even if in this case it took a few months for it to take effect. Sorry about that, by the way. It is never my intention to go so long, I assure you. I thank you for your review and its message of support! 

**Cat**—Your review was so nice. Of course the happy happy joy joy reference made me think of Ren and Stimpy which made me smile so thanks for that. Your praise and support are as generous and appreciated as always!

**Skyfire4**—I'm so pleased that you like where this is going and I guarantee that they do indeed find a way to each other. Not like in the next chapter, mind you, but still. I was so happy to read your review and I appreciate the encouragement it offered.

**AnitaBlake1414**—You *are* my amazing reviewer! No one really offers me gifts to keep updating and your offer of a troblin or trobbit was so very tempting, so thank you for that. Being a Legolas fan I would naturally lean toward the trobbit but would not know what to name it, nor the proper care and feeding of said trobbit. I'm sorry I kept you from your GCSE coursework and hope that you ended up fairing well, interruption notwithstanding? I am glad I was able to induce even a mild state of hyperactivity. Thank you for taking the time to come down from the clouds and write, I truly appreciate it. 

**Dusty**—Way to break out the old vocab….introspective! Nice word choice! I am always impressed when people do that. Sorry that you couldn't smack Thomas around….I hope you have found some other way to vent your frustration? "a bunch of hot, steamy, monkey lovin'"….ROTFLMAO. Seriously you crack me up! I can't help but giggle every time I read that! Thanks for being supportive and for sharing my pain of school. It's nice to know someone out there understands. Thanks for finding the time to read and review!

**Amber Evans Potter**—Amber: You like obsessive guys? Ok, if that's what makes you happy then color me on board. Jenny: Aww I was just teasing you. No need to bow, though I do appreciate the gesture. Julian: Good lord what are you doing!? Are you trying to kill me and everyone else with eyeballs? Don't you know it's impolite to do something that may cause cardiac arrest without first posting a warning? Heavens to mergatroid that was a close call!...............................................................................................................................*snaps back to reality* Oh um hey, what was I doing? Oh yes, I was writing a thank you to Julian for taking off his shirt. God bless you for that. Just you wait til you see what *I* have you taking off! mwahahahahahahaha Amber: I was delighted to read that I did not in fact disappoint you. As for the steamy goodness I cannot say……Jenny: Thanks for being so patient. It will be worth it, I promise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

**ArchAngel pixxistixx4me**—I was pleased to be able to deliver a present to your inbox. Ah yes, the bathing suit. I must admit that re-reading your review has me tempted to display him in it in my story but I wouldn't blatantly steal from you. You are too sweet, you know that, right? I really doubt that my story is one of the best pieces of work on the entire internet yet I could not but feel absurdly pleased that at least *you* think it is, so thank you for that. LOL…I love that you are suspicious of Tom's reaction to the breakup….and that's where I'll stop on that front. Guys are indeed weird; I cannot deny the truth of that. I'm glad you enjoyed the little rift on Time. Ha ha ha….whoever said your fics don't make sense? So I should write more about Tom and Dee? Am I correct that you now want to know about Tom? So next chapter should focus on Tom? Tom? Not Julian in the Jacuzzi? **_Tom?_** Seriously, if that's what you want……………………………………………

**melissarxy1**—Yeah, I was not in the same universe as "soon" when it came to updating this, was I? No, not at all. Boy I am sorry and I just know that you have completely forgotten this fic this time and I certainly don't blame you. Thank you for being happy that I posted the last part, it made me glad to hear from you.


	46. Chapter Forty Six

It had been a battle to get to the stage where Jenny could retreat to her bedroom, close the door and sink into the mattress. But she didn't want to dwell on it, because any thoughts of that nature were liable to keep her mind whirring and thus awake, and that is definitely the last thing she wanted.

She decided to try and meditate to help her quiet her thoughts and prepare herself for sleep. She scooted over to the headboard and placed a pillow beneath her hips, and then she swung her legs up so they were resting on the wall above her bed. She adjusted another pillow so her head was comfortably supported.

Laying her arms out to the side she turned her palms up and closed her eyes, picturing a white sandy beach with a gentle tide lapping at the shore. She guided herself deeper into the imagery, imagining she could taste the tang of the salt air as she breathed. She noted the demarcation of the sand where the water had rushed to greet it before pulling away.

It reminded her of the beach they had visited the first time she had seen Julian in her dreams. The thought came to her that she had dreamed of that scene earlier in the week. This led to Jenny once again re-enacting that amazing kiss they had shared, entwined in each other's arms as they swayed to the music. Thoughts of that nature did anything but help Jenny get sleepy so with a frustrated sigh she got out of her position and sat on the edge of the bed, racking her brain for a solution.

She decided to run a warm bath, light some candles and listen to classical music while having a nice soak. As she got up to go into the bathroom her little brother knocked on the open door.

"What's up?" she asked.

"Wanna play a game?"

She absently wondered if she would ever again be able to hear the word "game" and not immediately feel a chill. Jenny thought about it for a moment before deciding that perhaps this was the distraction she needed to wear herself out.

"I win!" her brother crowed a few hours later.

As they cleaned up the last of the board games Jenny realized that although she had definitely not gotten worn out as quickly as she would have liked she had enjoyed herself immensely. Her brother had a sharp mind and a developing sense of humor that kept Jenny entertained.

Saying goodnight after another race up the stairs she went into the bathroom and ran the water for a bath. She added some bubble bath for good measure before turning away to brush her teeth and pick out some music while waiting for the tub to fill.

She gently lowered herself into the mass of bubbles and tipped her head back, letting a long sigh escape as she reveled in the feeling of the water's heat working its way deep into her muscles. This week had been pretty hellacious and while she was overwhelmingly grateful to have it over and done with a part of her couldn't help but feel a little bit sad upon recognizing that this was the last time she would ever take final exams at her high school.

Feeling melancholy was definitely not the way she wanted to encourage herself to feel. Instead she was supposed to be preparing herself to see Julian again…but maybe melancholy was the way to go, she mused. She knew that she never felt as tired as she did when she was depressed or under a lot of stress so maybe she could just let the reality of her situation sink in for a bit and that would do wonders for her energy level.

She was desperate to fall asleep and see Julian again and as such was open for any and all suggestions her mind produced. She knew she couldn't just sit there thinking about Julian because if she did then tired would definitely not be the emotion she stirred up. The simple act of thinking about him did wonders for her blood pressure. Take for instance a random observation about his eyes.

Jenny always felt inept when it came to describing Julian's beauty. She never felt like she found the appropriate words. The shocking blue stare that confronted her time and again never failed to take her breath away. But it was when she found that gaze saturated with desire while penetrating her own that she became a bit light-headed and more than a bit something else altogether.

The mere memory of that look of longing sent Jenny's heart beat into overdrive, the exact opposite of her intended goal. With a loud sigh she renewed her quest to fall asleep and returned to her former train of thought. Where was she? Oh yes, reality in all its tedium.

When they had returned to school after Summer's disappearance she had noticed how much attention had been focused on her group of friends. She had naively assumed that attention would dissipate with Summer's return and yet its opposite seemed to be true. But as she soaked in the tub she realized that it was a long time gone since she had spent time with a group of people outside their little septet.

Sure there had been the odd party here and there but those had not been attended without the other members of their little cult group. But whereas once that realization would have caused a near panic attack wherein she would have wrestled with her own likeability for days…she now just shrugged it off.

Once she had thought that she needed to have tons of friends, be surrounded by people who adored her in order to be truly happy. She had envisioned contentment as a life lived with a myriad of options in the friends department, one in which she could go out with someone different every night of the week for a month and never see the same person twice.

Jenny almost laughed aloud at the dramatic 180° transformation her perceptions had undergone. Now she defined a happy life as one with her friends, family, and of course Julian. As long as she remained friends with Dee, Audrey, Summer, Tom, Michael and Zach she'd never lack for companionship. As long as she held her family close she'd always know the value of acceptance. And as long as she had Julian…

Not that she had actually **had** Julian as of yet, mind you.

Oh dear. Just like that her mind had gone straight to the bad place once again. Not that thoughts of that nature were bad as in wrong. They were bad as in severely distracting. But that was Julian in a nutshell…severely distracting.

If he were there in front of her he'd undoubtedly smirk at her for getting distracted with thoughts of him so easily…

_But then again…_

If he were there in front of her…

Oh my…the wicked thoughts seemed to trip over each other in their haste to fill up every available crevice in her brain.

What would she do if he suddenly appeared in front of her?

Her cheeks flushed as she realized she would probably first be embarrassed. Why was she having such difficulties getting herself sleepy tonight? Why was she so preoccupied with all these thoughts that were guaranteed to make her anything but tired?

It was probably just all that anticipation, she told herself. So she decided that instead of fighting it she should just give in. Maybe if she did her mind would get bored (_not likely_, she snorted) and she could go to sleep quicker. But she felt very self-conscious and more than a bit insecure. She really didn't have much experience conjuring up lust-ridden fantasies. But knowing she was alone gave her the courage to delve deeper into one of the many visions crowding her mind.

First of all Julian would have to be tied up. She giggled aloud at that thought but really, given his propensity for taking control of every situation and rendering her incapable of everything but pure responses…it needed to happen.

[[[[[]]]]]

So she imagines that she has just walked into the bathroom to find Julian there, all tied up. He is wearing the navy pajama bottoms from one of their earlier encounters and is seated next to the edge of the bathtub, his arms chained to his sides. He groans audibly when he sees her.

"Jenny," he whispers huskily, "what are you trying to do to me?"

She merely raises an eyebrow and gives him a smile.

"Why do you insist on torturing me like this?" He pulls at the chains and for a moment she thinks he will be able to break free, but they hold fast.

When she is satisfied that they will hold she turns her back to him and slips the multi-colored silk robe off of her shoulders and lets it pool at her feet. She is wearing a black bra and panty set and she proceeds to face Julian again when she hears the sharp intake of breath that accompanies her actions. She gives him another smile as she walks nearer to him and laughs inwardly when he growls low in his throat as she bends over the tub in order to push in the drain and turn on the taps.

"Laugh while you can, because when I get free…"

She turns to look at him with a quizzical expression that carries with it no small amount of amusement.

"Oh yes, Jenny…I _will_ break free. And when I do, no force in heaven or hell will be able to keep me from making you mine."

She takes a moment to savor the sensations that the words cause. He never fails to get her blood pumping hard and fast, and this time it's no exception. She closes the remaining distance between them and decides to push some of Julian's buttons.

Jenny starts by giving him a thorough head-to-toe inspection that leaves Julian wrestling with the chains harder than before. She straddles his lap and barely leans in before he sighs loudly,

"Finally…"

And she kisses him before he can say anything else. And she gives herself over to the kiss and relishes the knowledge that she can touch him, caress him, tease him and please him and he can't distract her with his own plan for seduction.

So she starts with his hair. She takes her time running her fingers through it, curling them into it at the base of his neck. Then she trails one hand down the side of his neck and up to his jaw, which she absently traces while Julian tries to get closer to her without much success.

"Jenny…" he pleads against her mouth. She smiles against his lips.

"Yes?"

"Set me free, Jenny."

She moves her lips to his neck and delights in the gasp that escapes when she nips at his collarbone.

"You're not going anywhere, Julian. It's **my** turn to play."

She would rather die than tell Julian that she really wants to set him free, that she misses the feel of his hands on her skin. She tries to distract herself from that feeling by placing her hands on the sides of Julian's waist. She traces the lines of his abdomen with her fingers as she kisses his neck and moves down his chest and then in a flash of inspiration she leans back up to kiss him just as she snakes her fingers inside the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

It only lasts a second but she can tell he's never been as surprised as he is in that moment. She opens her eyes to find his boring into hers, as darkened by desire as she's ever seen them.

"Take the chains off me _now_," he commands in a whisper. Her mouth curves up into a siren's smile and she stands up. The utter shock that takes up residence on Julian's face almost makes Jenny laugh out loud. She shakes her head back and forth.

"No, I don't think so. I'm not sure about you but I could use a little time to cool off. I'm just going to soak here in the tub."

And with that she places one foot just above the surface of the water and then freezes as if she has forgotten that she is still clothed.

"Oh dear. That was pretty silly of me. I'm still partially clothed, aren't I? I guess I should remedy that."

Julian raises an eyebrow in both approval and challenge. She never looks away as she reaches behind herself and unclasps her bra with one hand. His breathing becomes more labored as she alternates her arms, using one to hold her bra to her skin while pulling the other one out of the strap. She winks at him as she stands before him and she can tell he is practically salivating at the thought of getting his hands on her. He opens his mouth to speak but before he says anything a curtain appears in front of Jenny through which she is only visible as a silhouette. She removes the bra and dangles it to her side before dropping it on the floor.

"Oh Jenny…" Julian whispers. He can only watch in rapt fascination as she shimmies out of the panties before slowly lowering herself into the tub.

With the curtain between them, Jenny begins to wash herself. She lifts her arm out of the water and grabs a nearby washcloth. Raising herself to her knees she turns she her profile is facing Julian. Then she runs the washcloth under the tap before squeezing the water out over her chest, the rivulets chasing away the suds.

It's all Julian can do to remember to breathe. But when Jenny's hands follow the water's path he can remain silent no more. He breaks the chains that bind him and stands up.

"Ready or not, here I come."

He reaches out and tears the curtain down.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Disclaimer: About the only thing I can claim is that I am one slow updater. I do not own LJS' characters, just the plot I've drop-kicked them into.

Author's Note: I'll start by recommending Tanalith Pure's "Harsh Reality" for a good read about the movie Spirited Away. So no one really wants to know why I haven't updated in four months so I'll just say I wish it hadn't happened, I'm sorry it did happen and I hope it will not happen again. Thank you's are so long overdue I am a disgrace to authors everywhere but I mean the thank you's everyday, even when I'm not posting.

**CeredwenFlame**—So no, I did not update soon. Sorry about that. I will try to do better.

**XianThir**—WOW! Thanks so much! I really don't deserve that kind of praise but I really appreciate you saying so. Yes you are so right about the things you noticed. Jenny's house is a ranch in the books, no idea what the schools in her neck of the woods would look like but I seem to remember at least some brick from 90210 so that's what I was going off of. What happened to Grandpa Evenson as in what happened in my story, why has he not made an appearance? He's biding his time, just you wait ;-) No, you did not annoy me at all. I like that you put a lot of thought into your critique. Thanks for being so into the series that you want the stories in its fandom to be as in character as possible. And I promise to do what I can about the costume request for Julian….yowza!!!!!!!

**Shadow Play 23**—I know, no Julian in that last chapter. But he's here now, and he's not going anywhere for a little while so enjoy!

**One Feather**—I hope that you have not gone insane? That would make me feel bad. Thanks for updating!

** Venus Smurf** **–Don't you apologize to me! Here I sit, like 14 chapters behind on MY updates of YOUR stories [hangs head in shame] I should go crawl under a rock and not come back out. I am with you on the whole Midterms Is A Plot Conceived By Satan and His Many Minions…thankfully I was able to have my finals split up into two weeks or else I really would have been so stressed that I can't imagine ever getting back to any semblance of normal. I wish I had a Julian of my own to keep me going. I would definitely not be complaining much in Jenny's shoes except for, as you pointed out, the whole fragility of their relationship thing.**

** Hey, don't knock the pre-packaged cookie dough too much…I for one found it to be a lifesaver this past semester. I don't find myself tempted to eat that kind of cookie dough compared to the undeniable temptation to eat the homemade kind. I like to portray Jenny's folks as being supportive…I don't want them to just be set decoration. I'm glad you found the feather-tipped pen to be dramatic and not gay. Man, I can't find enough nice things to say about you, especially given all the nice things you say about me! You are such an integral part of my inspiration. I literally started writing this chapter the second I was done reading your review. I likely would have finished it too had my computer not crashed and been down for many weeks, during which time I despaired of ever finding the parts I'd written intact.**

** So your vote is not for Tom as the Letter Sender? Okay, I'm keeping a tally. Yes, the whole ability to build the anticipation is definitely one of the reasons I adore Julian and want one of my own (but let's keep that on the d-l so my current relationship does not suffer). I love that you can see so many possibilities in your own questions. Just another sign of the brilliant writer that is you. I literally re-read your reviews anytime I'm having an off day. And then I read them when I'm having an on day just to give me an extra kick!**

**_ I don't think I've ever come across a Dee/Tom fic. Are you the first_? I can't think of another fic with them as the pairing but I usually shield my eyes from anything not Jenny/Julian related so I am perhaps not as impartial as one would like. _Besides, I still think he'd make a better match with Dee just because she'll go out of her way to keep the relationship interesting, and she won't ever let him take her for granted like Jenny did_…exactly!!!! I thought that throughout the Books, too.**

** Yes, I like to think Jenny would still have residual shivers but not really be afraid like she was before. I mean she thinks the letter is from Tom so she may be cold and frightened at the thought that he wants to get back together but she's not thinking she should be scared beyond that….our little girl's growing up. sniff And while I'm absurdly pleased that you enjoy my sense of humor yours is just as well-developed and engaging, to be sure.**

** You are the only person to comment on the whole "Jenny seeing herself in the dream" thing…cause you're all brilliant and insightful, reading the subtext and whatnot. And yes, I went back to some of my earlier chappies and put in a little break like you suggested to clear up the whole scene shifting thing. Thanks for the suggestion…I hope to get back to all the earlier ones and re-format them! I do not understand teachers and their sadistic methods…It's like in college you can't look off into space and if, god forbid, you look at the teachers themselves during a test then their own sense of paranoia completely takes over and they end up overreacting by asking you what you want in a voice that is so many levels louder than it needs to be. Why is that?**

** Aww shucks…you have me doing my tomato impression so often I'm thinking I should just say what the heck and get red ink tattooed on my face. I hope this teaser chapter before the reunion was okay. I have this feeling that a lot of people are not going to be happy that I didn't have them hook up more. Cest la vie.**

** Umm I'm pretty sure that my chapters' lengths are like 1/3 of yours so I'm not really sure why you're thanking me but you're welcome anyway. And thanks for being so understanding about the delays in updating. I love knowing that I have your support.**

**_ Trust me, Julian NEVER sounds like a girl_…hee hee hee!! I don't know why that made me laugh but there you go.**

**_ You make him come alive_…would that I could claim that my latent superpowers had finally kicked in and I was in fact able to make him come alive. That would be sweet. I was head over heels for Julian from Book One and thought Jenny was a complete idiot. And I damned LJS for giving me even the tiniest glimpse of the person Julian obviously fell in love with. Because she spent so much of the books being a freak that by the end I dried my tears and resolved to bring that Jenny forth…because I just knew she was in there and could be so interesting to read and I needed to understand why Julian loved her.**

** I always saw Dee/Tom as one of those "love/hate" couples where they fight, spit nails, tear each other's hair out but ten minutes later they're in the bathroom tearing each other's clothes off as they make up. I'm so glad you're enjoying the way I portray Julian. That you see him as multi-dimensional is just Manna to me. And I still consider myself a freak and weird but thanks for thinking I'm clever…it takes the sting out of my own accusations.**

** Ah….choosing between the putz and the idiot…the eternal lament of women everywhere.**

** Now the whole "Julian changing clothes all day" idea…THERE'S a fic I can get behind. Maybe a one-shot. I'm considering it a plot bunny that may someday get written.**

** And I can't get over how much your reviews mean to me…I am beyond borderline obsessed…I OWN the Country of Obsessed.**

**_ Yep, I AM special...special ed, special olympics_...ROTFLMAO…good lord you are TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

** My words only SEEM to come naturally, and I credit my muse with that. Thanks for passing the message along to Sassy, I appreciate it.**

** I guess I like mail enough to even accept that it could be from a stalker…doesn't speak much about my current state of affairs but then again, maybe I just don't like what it says.**

** What's amazing to me is that I even HAVE reviews to comment on. I am blown away each and every time I get one.**

** I'll pass your credit along to my pack of Muses (yes, now there's a pack) because they can be a fickle bunch and I'd hate to see what happens if they think they're not getting their props.**

** I'm glad you're okay with going into the friends' reactions. I just want this to be nicely well-rounded.**

** You're totally original, totally awesome, totally wonderful…no doubts about it.**

** Your faith in me is so awe-inspiring. I'm so grateful that you're out there, I really am. Just knowing that you believe that whatever choices I make will be worth considering is the backbone of the creative process for me.**

**_ I like the word 'putz' too. There's just no other word on the planet that can describe certain characteristics as well as that one_…Amen.**

**_ I'm not the heir apparent to the fanfiction throne, my friend. YOU are! You are, bar none, my favorite author of all time...and that includes people who write for a living! If I'm insightful, it's only because you inspired me first_…you're so sweet to say that, really you are. You may also be a touch delusional but that's another matter entirely.**

** I can't believe that you look forward to my updates more than your own birthday…I'm speechless with that one.**

** I hope that you're considering doing something with children someday…writing an inspirational book, becoming a counselor, something. You have such a gift for encouragement and support that I feel like I want to share it with the whole world and the next generation in particular…everyone should be so lucky as to have you in their lives, inspiring them, lifting their spirits, and being the light that guides their way.**

**ShamIAm1**—I am in awe that you would consider being late for work to read this story. I don't want you to be sad, I really don't. I am totally bummed that I am killing you with frustration…I hate when I do stuff like that. I'm in a class of my own? Aww blushes shucks. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement!

**Shadow**—Sorry about having Tom in the story, glad that you at least did not find him TOO pathetic…I'll take it! I hear you as far as computer trouble goes…I just got mine back after being totally sans it for longer than I ever thought I would be and I was so happy I finished typing this chappie in record time. Thanks for checking in!

**Michelle**—I didn't notice that you spelled your e-mail wrong so don't worry about it…I'm so pleased that you like the story. I can assure you that there are more chapters to come. Thanks for reviewing!

**Tanalith**** Pure**—Hi there! Yes, I know so many people hated that Jenny rehashed the break up so much but in real life that's what I do so I wanted her to have a touch of realism…plus how else am I supposed to torture you guys between Jenny and Julian dreams? The Jacuzzi will make an appearance soon!

**Dusty**—Well thanks! Glad to see you're liking the story. Yes, more Julian goodness is on the horizon for sure. Thanks for reviewing!

**Fluorescein**—Your regret is my regret as well. I would love to update more often, I really would. All I can say is that I will try to do so. And you're a delectable dish for reviewing!

**kiyana-ayame**—Glad to hear college is going well for you. I'm with you, anyone would be thrilled to see Julian again, that's for sure. I really will try to update more frequently. Thanks for reading (and re-reading!) and reviewing!

**Skyfire4**—Well thanks! You are so sweet for saying that! Yes, my alarm clock has interrupted too many great dreams, sigh.Thanks for your kind words!

**Saxonny**—I just bet the stuff you're not allowed to post here would leave me absolutely breathless! And btw, ROTFLMAO…your characters are total whores? Good god I laughed so hard when I read that!!!! I'm happy to plug you, you're terrific!

**Saxonny**—Yeah, so they are still not together…sorry about that. And sorry that you're reading at work…though I find it does lend a sort of pleasant illicit pleasure to fanfic when I'm technically getting paid to read it. You're so fabulous for reviewing!

**ArchAngel**** pixxistixx4me**—I hope your inbox is not lonely….maybe you didn't read this for a while and your inbox got to hold onto the message? Sorry you felt like the last chapter was rushed. I hope that this is not the case for this chapter? I'm so glad I'm able to make Tom less disgusting in this fic. My life is complete…well my life will be complete when I get a Julian of my own. And I promise to take your preferences for Julian's attire (or lack thereof, as the case may be wink) into consideration for the next chapter. I am very honored to have been given permission to use The Shamrock, so thank you. I'm not gonna peach you for not having Holidays updated, so fear not my friend. I hope finals went well. Thanks for being the light in my Inbox today!

**Amber Evans Potter**—I'm hoping that this chapter made at least 2/3 of you guys happy? (I'm not sure if Amber woke up yet) I'm pretty sure at least Jenny should be happy….getting to tease Julian in something akin to the way that he teases her….and the rest of us! I hope that helps convince you I only want you with him, Jenny? It's hands off for me, hands on for you! I missed you guys too, for sure. I hope to update so much more frequently! Thanks for being so patient!!!! I wish I could reward you!

**AnitaBlake1414** - vice president of the FANCLUB!—Sweet! I'm so sorry that the neighbors think you're insane! I absolutely love love love my purple sparkly trobbit and I have named him Olesko after my editing teacher. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying the story…thanks so much for promoting it to your friends…that is too sweet! I'm sure LJS would blow me out of the water with her version of this storyline but I appreciate the thought, you really are too nice. Tell your friend who said she feels like she can almost touch the characters thanks for the compliment…it keeps me going. Thanks so much for writing!!!!

**melissarxy1**—And this update was also nowhere near soon….sigh. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story, sorry there's not enough Julian…but is there ever? Nope! Not as far as I'm concerned. Thanks so much for checking in and not forgetting about me!


	47. Chapter Forty Seven

Jenny jerked backward in surprise and ended up dunking herself in the process. When she broke free of the water she started sputtering and coughing, completely out of the fantasy. She groaned aloud and leaned her neck back onto the rim of the tub, calming her heartbeat and trying to divest her system of the rest of the burst of adrenaline that had preceded her dip under the water.

Sleep would be a long time in coming for her.

------0000------

Summer and Dee had been summoned to Audrey's in order to talk out everything that was going on with the 'Julian situation', as she was now referring to it, but they had only managed to stall, flipping through magazines and sipping sodas.

"What's bothering you, Dee?" Audrey's voice broke the silence that had enveloped the girls for the better part of an hour.

"I'm guessing it's the same thing that's been tumbling about in that space where your brain should be," Dee retorted without any real bite to the comment.

"Jenny," Audrey sighed, flopping over onto her back and lifting a hand to inspect her nails without any enthusiasm for the task.

"Right. I mean…well, am I right in guessing that you're thinking the same kinds of thoughts I am right about now?"

"Thoughts like 'Is it true?' or 'Dear God how upset is Tom going to be when he hears about this?'…"

"and 'I know I'm a horrible friend but part of me really hopes that Jenny is just making the whole thing up.'" Summer chimed in.

"No, I'm with you on this, cherie. I don't want to think that Jenny's crazy, mind you, but I'd rather deal with crazy Jenny than with Julian's re-entry into our world." Audrey remarked.

"So what are we going to do?" Dee bit out, but there was no response forthcoming. After a minute the three friends exchanged glances and one by one went back to their reading.

------0000------

After writing in her journal and listening to a CD Jenny still didn't feel like going to sleep. She paced around her room, looking for other stuff to do. Her eyes fell on her overnight bag and she decided that she could get a head start on packing. After all, she only had days to go until it was time for her to leave for Camp Penwick.

Days.

Jenny's stomach knotted up just thinking about leaving her home and living somewhere else, even if it was only for the summer. Being on her own was exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. Of course she would have Julian to keep her company at night, so it's not like she would be entirely on her own.

Or would she?

She hated thinking this way but she had been pushing thoughts of this nature out of her head for so long that the minute she lowered her defenses they broke through and refused any attempts to be denied. So she gave them their time as she folded shirts and shorts.

What if she couldn't interact with Julian? What if somehow it was connected to being in her room? Or—as she remembered the night at Aba's—with her friends? Her eyes teared but she refused to give in to the sadness, deciding that there must be a solution out there.

She lay down on her bed and turned to her side, thinking of all the times she'd seen Julian—where she was, who she was with, what time of day it was, but couldn't detect an overall pattern. The answer to her almost-dilemma came to her between breaths and when it did she laughed aloud at its simplicity—if she couldn't be with Julian there then she'd simply come home every weekend she could.

That said she closed her eyes and thought about a more promising way to end her earlier fantasy. Almost drowning in the bathtub was just not going to cut it.

His lips were on hers before she was even aware that she had fallen asleep.

"I thought about you every time I breathed," Julian's voice was husky and rich in her ear, and sent tingles up her arms.

Jenny wanted to reply, she really did, but Julian's lips were on hers before she had a chance to even try and think of something half as sweet as his comment.

"I missed you," he murmured against her mouth between kisses.

"I missed you, too," she replied, winding her arms around his neck and pulling closer.

He moved from her lips to bury his face in the side of her neck. She almost laughed when she felt him breathe in deeply.

"Mmm, peaches," he whispered, weaving his fingers through her hair and pulling it off to the side, "You smell delicious."

She couldn't help the giggle that escaped at that pronouncement.

"Thanks. I had a nice long soak in the tub to try and calm me down enough to go to sleep."

"And did you find yourself thinking about me when you were in there all warm, wet and naked?"

_If only he knew! _Jenny thought to herself. She decided to tease him a little.

"Mmm. What if I did?"

"Then I want to hear all about it, every last image down to the tiniest detail."

When she didn't say anything he lifted his head up and studied her. His eyes widened as he took in her pink cheeks.

"Jenny?" His tone was accusing and demanding at once. She looked at him with a small smile.

"Yes?" She trailed her fingernails down his arms.

"Were you thinking all sorts of lusty wrong thoughts in the tub? Is that why it took you so long to fall asleep?" She pulled him to her and didn't answer until she was a kiss away.

"Maybe."

The innocent tone didn't fool him for a minute. She _had_ thought about him, and if the blush on her cheeks was any indication, her thoughts had been quite naughty. He felt the heat rise in him and became determined to get her to share her fantasy.

"Jenny," he growled, pinning her hands above her head, "tell me what you were thinking about."

She shook her head from side to side, not bothering to try and get free.

"Why not?" he pleaded, sounding a hair's breath away from outright whining.

Jenny laughed, pleased beyond measure with the turn of events. Having Julian beg her for anything was a kick, and she became just as determined to hold out as long as possible.

"I'm not here for that," she replied with a toss of her head, "I'm here for a reunion that is supposed to involve a hot tub and, well, I don't know what else. I'm not going to disrupt your plans. You put a lot of thought and effort into those plans and I respect that too much to go around messing them up with idle chitchat."

He quirked an eyebrow at her and chuckled.

"You respect me too much, is that it?"

She nodded, although she didn't trust his reaction at all.

"Well I do appreciate your recognition of my plans, and I do indeed have plans for us, Jenny. However, I think you may be overlooking a crucial element here."

She gazed up at him and took in his expression, which was entirely too self-satisfied for her liking. She had a sinking feeling that she was about to lose this game of wills. She gave up and took the bait a moment later.

"And what element is that?"

"What it means if you tell me."

"Oh? And what does it mean?" she challenged, although she had a pretty decent idea what it meant.

"I get to make your fantasy come true."

From the way his eyes darkened after that statement it was a wonder Jenny didn't swoon. And while it was no surprise to _her_ that she laughed, it was a big surprise to Julian. However, he just waited for her to explain herself.

"I don't think that's something you'd be interested in, trust me," she giggled.

Now his curiosity threatened to eat him alive. What could she have been thinking of that was something he wouldn't be interested in?

"What could you have possibly been thinking of that I wouldn't be interested in?"

She just continued to laugh and shake her head.

"Did this fantasy involve kissing?"

"Yes," she admitted with a smile.

"Did this fantasy involve touching?" She bit her lip in remembrance and answered with a nod of her head.

Julian's mind was whirring. He had just listed two of his favorite things to do with Jenny, and she had confessed that both of those activities occurred in the fantasy. So why wouldn't he want to take part in it? As quickly as his mind asked it there was an answer. What if her fantasy wasn't of the two of them together? The mere thought made him feel nauseous.

"Was it you and me in this fantasy?"

Her eyes widened and she laughed until tears ran down her face.

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8/8 update: I just learned that I am not supposed to have long author's notes so I have moved the thank you's to my profile, where I hope they're allowed to be.

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Author's Note: Seriously, it CANNOT have been over a year since I updated? NO FREAKIN' WAY! I suck beyond the telling of it, that's for sure. I am really sorry about that. And I won't get into the things that have happened, because I want to leave them behind me and not get all wallowy. Wallowy me is not conducive to writing. But know this—Your reviews have kept me going, I assure you. They really make the difference between this being shelved forever and it being finished.

Disclaimer: I was crying myself to sleep over the lack of rights the other night when it occurred to me that in a universe of infinite possibilities there exists a reality in which I actually DO have ownership. Sadly, I do not presently occupy said universe. SO until then, I own nada.


	48. Chapter Forty Eight

Disclaimer: Yo no tengo any rights beyond that which I know nothing about.

Author's note: I know a lot of people thought I gave up on this story….never! But thank you's are in my profile since I cannot have long author's messages anymore. Probably a good thing, since it keeps you from the chappies that much longer.

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"Yes," she choked out, "It was you and me, and only you and me."

Well that took care of the next question. He leaned down and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"Tell me, Jenny," he whispered in her ear, moving to trail kisses down the column of her neck.

She hummed softly and he moved to capture her lips with his own. It didn't take long for her to respond in kind, moaning in the back of her throat as he kissed her deeply.

"Honestly, Julian, I really think it's better off unsaid," she managed to say between kisses.

"And I really think I need to know, Jenny," he announced, putting a finger on her lips when she began to protest, "It would mean everything to me to be able to act out one of your fantasies."

She shook her head back and forth, giggling as she did. He really didn't know what he was asking for, she mused. The thought of his face when he realized what her fantasy was just amused her to no end. He would be very unhappy with her, and there would quite possibly be some form of retribution.

"I think I can do better than this one, Julian. So why don't you let me think about it and I'll let you know when I've got it."

He shook his head.

"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. I'm sure that whatever you already have in mind is perfect as it stands."

She smiled and looked down, trying not to laugh.

"I'm not very good at this sort of thing. And I can assure you that what I was thinking about is not up to your standards by far."

He grinned at her.

"My standards? And just what are those, pray tell?"

Jenny regretted saying anything as the implication of her words wormed its way into her consciousness. She squirmed beneath him and tried to break free. He simply raised an eyebrow at her protests. When it was clear he wasn't going to release her she rolled her eyes and heaved a huge sigh.

"You know."

"No, I don't."

"You've done this sort of thing before, so you know."

Julian's brows knitted together in confusion.

"I've done what before?"

Jenny kissed his fingertips and blew her breath out when he moved his hands to hold her wrists in place. She studied his gaze and saw that he was serious and prepared to wait for her to talk. Well, the sooner she talked the sooner they could forget she ever opened her big yap.

"You've had practice with all this stuff before…the fantasies, the enacting of the fantasies, and whatnot. And you're good," she broke off as a litany of images swirled through her head, "actually you're _beyond_ good," she whispered.

When he remained silent she snuck a glance at him. He was looking at her as if she were speaking in a foreign language. He looked so adorably lost her heart melted. He shook his head.

"What are you talking about? I've had practice before what?" Julian asked, but a moment later his eyes widened. "Wait a minute…Jenny, do you think that I've done this with someone else?"

Jenny blushed and twisted her head so she wouldn't have to meet his gaze. She shrugged and choked the words out.

"Maybe more than one someone. I don't know."

Julian firmly grasped her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him. Jenny opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off.

"There has been, is, and will only be you."

Jenny stared up at him, mouth agape. When she found her voice it was soft and scratchy.

"You've been alive for untold millennia. How is that possible?"

He shook his head and dropped his gaze for a moment. When he looked back at her his gaze was intense and full of such longing that tears sprung to Jenny's eyes.

"Because I've only been alive since the moment I saw you. Before that, I simply existed."

He smiled down at her and Jenny fell in love with him just a little bit more.

"Oh, Julian."

She lifted herself up and kissed him as best she could. It was a tough feat considering he was still holding her wrists but she ignored the odd angle and applied herself with gusto. He growled and pulled her against his chest, anchoring her arms behind her. When they broke for air she sighed happily and rested her forehead on his shoulder.

"So how'd you get so good at all this stuff, anyway?" she asked, placing a few kisses along his collarbone.

"I have an excellent imagination and lots of free time."

She laughed and tilted her head up for a kiss. He stopped her lips with a finger.

"And speaking of imagination…"

Jenny groaned and fell backwards, taking Julian with her and trapping her arms beneath her.

"What an incredibly obvious segue," she chastised with a smile, "whatever could you be gearing up to talk about?"

Julian leaned down and kissed her softly. As his kiss grew hungrier Jenny struggled to break free. Julian laughed and moved to breathe in her ear.

"Whoever said I wanted to _talk_ about anything?"

Jenny shivered at the sensation of his voice but laughed as soon as he leaned toward her mouth.

"You don't want me to show you this fantasy."

"Jenny, you've aroused my curiosity," Julian began.

"Among other things?" She interrupted with a coy smile. He flashed his wolf-grin at her.

"Naturally. But I will not be able to stop thinking about what this fantasy could possibly be unless I have some very convincing arguments."

"Come closer and I'll take your mind off it, I promise," she whispered.

He shook his head and smiled.

"I have no doubt of your ability to distract me. But eventually you'll wake up and I'll be left here alone to think about it for hours on end."

Jenny smiled at the pathetic look he was trying to pull off. She bit her lip then laughed.

"Fine. I give up." Julian's eyes lit up and he released her wrists. "But on one condition." Julian cocked his head to the side.

"And that would be?"

"I'd rather not find myself in the same situation," she told him with a blush.

He considered her for a minute as the first vestiges of doubt began to fill his mind. But his curiosity demanded to be indulged and so he braced himself and nodded.

"Very well."

Jenny sat up and closed her eyes. Julian watched her face as she settled down and began to concentrate. The room swirled about them and he looked around, intrigued. It was a beautiful bathroom, filled with dim lights and soft music. He looked around for Jenny and when he didn't see her he began to stand up, intent on finding her.

That's when he noticed he was chained tight.

"Oh god," he croaked, just as Jenny made her entrance. He groaned audibly when he saw her.

"Jenny," he whispered huskily, "what are you trying to do to me?"

She merely raised an eyebrow and gave him a smile.

"I tried to warn you," she said with a shrug.

Julian pulled at the chains and for a moment he thought he could break free, but they held fast. Jenny smiled at his attempt then she turned her back to him and slipped the multi-colored silk robe off of her shoulders and let it pool at her feet.

Julian saw the black bra and panty set and groaned, yanking the chains again. Jenny turned back toward him and began to walk to the bath taps.

"Jenny, come here," he whispered softly as his eyes drank her in. She gave him another smile as she walked nearer to him and laughed when he tried to reach for her as she bent over the tub in order to push in the drain and turn on the taps.

"Jenny." Her name was a plea, and she desperately wanted to cave in. But he asked for it, and so she decided she's going to see it through to the end.

"Yes, Julian?" she asked as she sat on the edge of the tub, one hand leaning down to test the water's warmth.

"What did I say to you?"

"What do you mean?"

His nod encompasses everything.

"What did you imagine me saying?"

She remembered his words well. _Laugh while you can, because when I get free…Oh yes, Jenny…I will break free. And when I do, no force in heaven or hell will be able to keep me from making you mine._

His growl brings her out of her reverie.

"It's true, Jenny. So why don't you save us both the torture and let me go now?"

"You heard that?"

His nod is clipped. "When you imagined it, I could hear it."

Jenny slowly closed the remaining distance between them and began to look him over. She was feeling a little shyer than she had before. It was one thing to be in complete control of the fantasy when she was alone, but now that Julian was here with her she could feel the energy he gave off. The desire was radiating off him in waves. And if she were to let him go…

Julian wrestled with the chains harder than before as he watched her devour him with her eyes.

"Jenny," he called out.

She moved over and, straddling his lap, barely leaned in before his lips claimed hers.

Even with his kiss being the only way he could initiate contact she was shocked by how out of control she felt. And by how much she wanted his hands on her. She sighed and ordered her hands to move, knowing full well that this might be a once in a lifetime experience for her, to caress him to her heart's content while he kept his hands to himself.

She took her time running her fingers through his hair, curling them into it at the base of his neck. She trailed one hand down the side of his neck and up to his jaw, which she absently traced while Julian tried to get closer to her without much success. She moved her lips to his neck and nipped at his collarbone.

"Oh, Jenny," Julian whispered, hauling at the chains with all his might.

"You're not going anywhere, Julian. It's **my** turn to play."


	49. Chapter Forty Nine

Author's note: Can you believe two chapters at once? Yowza.

Disclaimer: Until I find that pot o' gold I own nothing.

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She placed her hands on the sides of Julian's waist. She traced the lines of his abdomen with her fingers as she kissed his neck. She moved down his chest and then she hesitated for a moment, remembering what came next. She took a deep breath and leaned up to kiss him just as she snaked her fingers inside the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

His roar catches her off guard and when she looks at him she almost falls off. His eyes are more intense than she imagined, the desire so forceful within that she has to catch her breath.

"Take the chains off me _now_," he commanded in a hoarse voice. She smiled at the deja vu and stood up.

"Where are you going?" he grated out. "Come back."

She shook her head back and forth and blushed, turning away for a moment, struggling to gather her courage to move on to the next part.

"No, I don't think so." Her voice is squeaky and she can't quite look at him. "I'm not sure about you but I could use a little time to cool off. I'm just going to soak here in the tub."

Jenny moved over to the water, daring a look at Julian as she got close. His breathing was labored and his teeth were bared, and his eyes. Oh god, his eyes were so full of promises of desires fulfilled and pleasures to be had that she found it hard to stand.

And suddenly she couldn't go through with the rest. She lowered herself onto the side of the tub and glanced away. She cleared her throat before addressing Julian.

"I-I can't go on."

"What's wrong?" Julian was instantly concerned and struggling with the chains even more.

"It's just that…I'm not sure about doing the rest. I'm not brave enough." She whispered and shook her head. "Not when you're looking at me like that."

His desire began to simmer again.

"How am I looking at you?"

The cadence of his voice warmed her back up. She laughed as she turned to face him.

"Like I'm Little Red Riding Hood."

"And I'm the Big Bad Wolf, dying to eat you all up?" he nodded. "That's about right."

She shook her head and then bit her lip.

"Would it be okay if I didn't act out the rest?"

He nodded and jostled the chains.

"Does that mean I get to be set free?"

She smiled, a mischievous twisting of her lips that had him trying to break the chains again.

"That depends."

"On what?"

She lifted herself off the tub and moved over to the wall next to him, where she propped herself up.

"If you want to see the rest, you can. But I'd rather you remained like that until it's over."

He weighed the decision carefully. The fact that she was too shy to act out the rest of the fantasy intrigued him, but then if she was willing to show it to him then he should not pass up the opportunity. Although, given what she'd already done, he wasn't sure he could take it. But his mind was made up.

"Show me, Jenny."

She smiled at him.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded once and she stepped back out of view. The air in front of him shimmered and grew hazy, and when it re-crystallized he watched in rapt fascination.

Jenny placed one foot just above the surface of the water and then froze.

"Oh dear. That was pretty silly of me. I'm still partially clothed, aren't I? I guess I should remedy that."

Julian gasped as he watched his fantasy self raise an eyebrow in both approval and challenge. Jenny never looked away as she reached behind herself and unclasped her bra with one hand. Julian realized it was good forethought on Jenny's part to ask him to remain shackled. He was already dying to break free.

His breathing was more labored as she alternated her arms, using one to hold her bra to her skin while pulling the other one out of the strap. She winked at him as she stood before him. He opened his mouth to speak but before he said anything a curtain appeared in front of Jenny through which she was only visible as a silhouette.

Julian growled low in his throat as Jenny removed the bra and dangled it to her side before dropping it on the floor.

"Oh Jenny…" His fantasy self whispers. Julian's impressed Jenny allowed him speech, since he can't think of anything other than breaking the damn chains. He can only watch and groan as she shimmies out of the panties before slowly lowering herself into the tub.

With the curtain between them, Jenny began to wash herself. She lifted her arm out of the water and grabbed a nearby washcloth.

Jenny raised herself to her knees and turned so her profile was facing Julian. When she runs the washcloth under the tap before squeezing the water out over her chest, the rivulets chased away the suds and Julian groaned.

_What was she talking about, not being good at this?_ If this was her first attempt he wasn't sure he was going to survive the subsequent ones.

But his train of thought was interrupted when Jenny's hands followed the water's path and his fantasy self broke the chains that bound him and stood up.

"Ready or not, here I come."

He reached out and tore the curtain down, and the image disintegrated. There was a long moment of silence.

"Finally," Julian whispered. Jenny watched as he wrenched the chains free and stood up.

When he turned to face her she took a step backward, overwhelmed by his gaze. He held his arms out to her and she smiled. But it was replaced by a look of confusion as she realized the chains were still dangling from his wrists.

"Why are they still on you?" she asked.

"Because you haven't unlocked them yet," he answered, taking another step toward her.

"Unlock them? How do I do that?"

He nodded toward her chest and she looked down to see that there was a golden key suspended on a chain around her neck.

"How did that get there?" When she looked up Julian was right in front of her. She gasped and took a step backward. He held out his wrists again.

Jenny pulled the chain over her head and held the key in her hand. She was dismayed to see that her grip was shaky. She cleared her throat and avoided Julian's gaze as she reached out and placed the key into one of the locks.

How had she failed to notice the locks before? _It's not like you were looking at the **chains** during the fantasy, right?_ Her inner voice mused in a devilish tone.

She turned the key and with a soft click the lock opened and the chain vanished. Jenny jumped; unsure of what she had thought would happen. She positioned the key in the other lock and twisted it.

She barely had time to register the click before his arms were around her, hauling her against him. His mouth crushed hers and she was lost. Keeping his mouth fused to hers he lifted her hips and Jenny locked her legs around his waist.

He growled as their hips came into contact and backed them into the wall. Jenny was glad for the additional support as her limbs had become useless. All she could do was react to Julian as he kissed her with a deeper hunger than he had ever unleashed. His hands manipulated her flesh, infusing her skin with their heat, and he whispered her name in a voice so taut with need that it was a wonder he didn't implode.

The sound of a crash woke her up, and it wasn't until her parents came running into her room that she became oriented to that reality.

"Jenny? What's going on?" her father asked as he turned on the lights.

"Oh my gosh! Look!" her mom pointed and Jenny's gaze was drawn to one of the windows, which was smashed.

"Who could have done this?" Jenny started to get out of bed but her dad held out a hand.

"Wait a minute, kiddo. There's tons of broken glass here. Better wait until we get some of this cleaned up. I'm going to have a look outside; you guys stay here until I get back."

"I'm going to get the dustpan and vacuum," her mom announced. She turned around at the door to address Jenny. "Are you ok, honey?"

"Um, yeah. I'm all right."

"It's just, you look pretty flushed."

Jenny's cheeks reddened even more. "Oh, well I was pretty scared when it happened."

Her mom nodded and left to retrieve the cleaning supplies. Jenny flopped back down on the bed and pulled the pillow over her eyes. If she ever got her hands on the person responsible for interrupting her best dream _ever_, she would strangle them! She smiled a little as she thought of Julian's reaction.

One thing's for sure…he was going to be very impatient for her to get back to him.


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